ane33mone

[ane33mone]

Ghosts From The Past Playlist!

Hi everyone! I’ve finally taken the time to compile a list of all the songs (in no particular order) that have been used as a chapter title for Ghosts from the past (GFTP), or that have somehow inspired me while writing! 

Family Line - (Conan Gray)

This is perhaps the song that I would consider the ‘soundtrack’ for GFTP. I think its entire meaning and lyrics completely capture the heart of the fic. 

“I was a kid, but I wasn’t clueless/ Someone who loves you wouldn’t do this” These words are something I imagine Izuku saying to AFO

“All of my past, I tried to erase it/ But now I see, would I even change it?/ might share a face, and share a last name but/ We are not the same” THIS PART always gets me. The message within it is so powerful, and something that’s so in line with one of the main themes/conflicts in the fic.

Through me (the flood) - (Hozier)

I just couldn’t write a fic without giving one of the chapters a Hozier title. Many of his songs can be interpreted in various ways. I feel like this song describes what it’s like to realize the extensiveness of a loss (or trauma in this case) and that you will carry it with you everyday for the rest of your life. It’s also about continuing on despite that, despite how often you’re dragged down. It fits chapter 29 because the chapter revolves around Izuku pondering about his past, fighting it, hurting because of it, and realizing the extensiveness of it. 

Darkside - (Grandson)

This song had me in a chokehold a few years ago. It felt fitting for the chapter where Izuku fights the Nomu and faces Shigaraki for the first time. It’s the chapter where the reader and many other characters see Izuku’s ‘darkside’ and his strength properly for the first time. This chapter also takes Izuku back to his past, to a darker self.

Must have been the wind - (Alec Benjamin)

This song talks about someone who has a suspicion that one of their upstairs neighbors is in an abusive home environment. They try to ask the person about it, try to offer help, but in the end the neighbor is adamant that everything is okay (even though it isn’t). Chapter 16 reflects this. Aizawa tries to hold out a helping hand, tries to ask if everything is okay, but Izuku isn’t ready to accept that help just yet. He doesn’t trust the man enough, and claims that everything is fine.

What could have been - (Sting)

For any of you who have watched Arcane, you might know why I put this song as the chapter title. Without any spoilers, it’s about two characters who used to be close but through circumstances ended up on opposite sides. Chapter 24 is the first time Izuku and Shigaraki have a chance to properly talk. It’s clear that despite their bond in the past, now they’re on opposite sides. There’s a rift between the two and while the reader (and the two characters) are left to wonder what could have been, had the two grown up differently, or had they not been separated, that is not the reality.

Outrunning Karma - (Alec Benjamin)

While the song itself is about someone outrunning their sins, and how they will catch up to him someday, I interpreted the meaning a bit differently for chapter 27. In this chapter Izuku tries to ‘outrun’ his past, he tries to ignore it, despite the fact that that’s no longer possible. At the end of the chapter his past catches up to him.

I’m still standing - (Elton John)

This song really inspired me when writing chapter 20. It represents Izuku who faces Bakugo, and in the end manages to win. It also represents how by winning, Izuku shows All For One that he’s ‘still standing’, still living and thriving.

Wings - (Hurts)

“When you find me free-falling/ Out of the sky/ And I’m spiralling out of control/ When I drop like a cannonball/ From cloud nine/ Just promise, you won’t let me go/ Say you’ll catch me when I fall.” In chapter 26 Izuku finally starts trusting others a bit more. He puts his trust in Aizawa, that the man will help him when he’s struggling. This just really matches this song in my opinion.

Karma - (AJR)

This song is absolutely heartbreaking in a way, or maybe that’s the association that I have with it. I was introduced to this song by the fic “You Never Asked” written by jongdaethedinosaur (If you love *very* angsty, very well written fics with a lot of interesting canon-divergence, and which delves deeper into trauma etc. then I would HIGHLY recommend this fic!!) and this song just kind of stuck with me. I feel like this song really aligns with Izuku’s general view on going to therapy, and his struggles with it around chapter 29 when he first started attending. As well as around chapters 40-43 when Izuku is really struggling with picking up his life again. 

Blue - (Billie Eilish)

In my opinion this song is really just a soundtrack for Shigaraki–in canon and in GFTP. There are many lines that really align with Shigaraki, and with Izuku’s view of him. 

“Colder than your fathers eyes/He never learned to symphatize with anyone” This could refer to Shigaraki’s biological father, and his hatred towards heroes and cold attitude to his kids. It could also refer to AFO, as he practically raised Shiggy. 

“I don’t blame you/ but I can’t change you / Don’t hate you / But we can’t save you” Izuku’s view on Shigaraki at the end of GFTP. He doesn’t necessarily blame Shigaraki, as AFO was always the one pushing Shigaraki to do things, but Izuku also knows he can’t change Shigaraki. His brother, Tenko, is gone and only Tomura remains. A person who Izuku can’t change. The last two lines refer more to Inko, how she doesn’t hate Shigaraki, but how she couldn’t save him when they escaped.

“You were born reaching for your mother’s hands/ victim of your father’s plans” This is basically Shiggy’s backstory. Him reaching for his mother when he disintegrated her, and him being the victim of AFO’s plans just as much as Izuku is.

Just. Listen to the song and you could probably match a lot of the lines (it’s also one of my favorite Billie songs).

Point of no return - (John Weber)

This song is part of the musical ‘The Phantom of the opera’. The meaning of the song doesn’t really fit with chapter 30, besides the fact that in both the main characters cross the point of no return. Izuku finally reveals his quirk to the class and All Might. There’s no going back anymore. Plot-wise it’s also the start of the final act/ the end of the act before. Things are really ramping up and all the characters can do is fight through it all.

Things We Lost In The Fire - (Bastille)

This song is just very beautiful, and as I see it, also very much fits the general theme of this fic.

“Do you understand that we’ll never be the same again?/ The future is in our hands and we will never be the same again” Things happened, irrevocably changing someone. Yet the future is not set in stone, and someone can still have a say over their future. This really aligns with Izuku’s thoughts about his past and his future at the end of chapter 43.

Some bonus tracks 

HOPE - (NF)

overwhelmed - (royal & the Serpent)

Two Birds - (Regina Spektor)

Your Power - (Billie Eilish)

Get Home - (Bastille)

Run Boy Run - (Woodkid)

Daniel In The Den - (Bastille)

Paper Crown (Alec Benjamin)

Black Out Days - (Phantogram)

Secrets & Lies - (Death Note: The Musical)

[ane33mone]

Howl's Flying Castle Cross Section (or, Califer's Relatives Pay a Visit) || [prints]

Can you find?: [ ] four star children [ ] the magic broom [ ] suliman's guitar [ ] howl's welsh rugby jersey

[ane33mone]

a comic i started in november 2023, then didn't know how to finish as the numbers kept growing higher and higher. then they grew too high not to finish it

[ane33mone]

In defense of Bix:

While I’m not one to normally actively join fandom discussion regarding characters, Andor has taken over my whole life, so I wanted to add my thoughts on Bix and the direction that her character was taken in in S2Ep9. (obvious spoilers ahead for Andor S2)

I have seen some opinions floating around that Bix’s entire character was ruined by S2, that she should have done more for the rebellion (or didn’t do anything at all), and that her final decision to leave Cassian fell into the standard cliche of ‘woman deciding to leave a man so he can save the world’ type of trope. I personally see Bix’s final decision as her ultimate contribution to the rebellion. Leaving the rebellion is for her as much a sacrifice as “officially” joining the rebellion is for Mon.

At the start of S1 Bix is already actively helping the rebels. It’s one of the first things we learn about her. It is actually through Bix (albeit indirectly) that Cassian first comes into contact with the rebels, with the end result of him fleeing Ferrix along with Luthen. As we all know, in the wake of this, Bix ultimately gets arrested by the ISB and tortured for any and all information she might have on the rebels. This experience will leave Bix scarred, broken, deeply traumatized. This is something that is established and explored in the first half of S2. We see her experiencing nightmares and other trauma-related symptoms. In eps 4-6 it is mentioned that Bix and Cassian actually go on missions together for Luthen (which means that Bix is very much contributing actively to the rebellion), but due to Bix’s worsening mental state, she’s had to sit out a few missions. It is also made very obvious in these episodes that Cassian does not want to be separated from Bix. This gets to the point where he breaks all rules to confront Luthen in the shop about the latter visiting Bix without mentioning it to Cassian. Now, Luthen’s dubious actions left aside, this is already a very clear sign that to Cassian, Bix and her wellbeing stand above everything. Even the rebellion.

Back to Bix, at the end of ep6 she gets her revenge and kills her tormentor. It is not only a way for her to deal with her trauma, it is also something that ensures that no one will have to suffer as she did at the hands of this man. To me it seemed that while in the episodes 4-6 we most obviously see Bix’s struggle with her trauma, there is also a real anger underneath it all. This anger became more obvious in the episodes 7-9. Bix wants to beat the empire, or at least die trying. To Cassian she comes before everything, before the rebellion. But to Bix nothing comes before the rebellion. She’s experienced first hand how cruel the empire is to everyday people, and she knows that nothing will stop the Empire from doing this again and again unless they are stopped. 

Then, Cassian tells her he wants to leave. He’s done. He wants to run away with her to a place in the galaxy where the empire hasn’t sunken its claws in too deeply yet. Now, at this point Bix might already know she is pregnant, she might not. Either way, it's a tempting offer: to start a family and live with the man she loves in peace. Only, she knows that there will be no peace. No place is safe from the empire as long as it stands. They might live in peace for a while, but inevitably the empire will extend its influence and it will be the everyday people that will suffer the most. 

Bix knows and believes that Cassian’s role in the rebellion is not done yet. He is a messenger, as the force healer said, and he has yet to complete this task. Yet Cassian is unable to accept this, because he sees this possibility of a future with Bix. Bix, who, to him, comes before everything. So, Bix makes a decision. She might want this future with Cassian, but she knows that this is not possible as long as he has not completed his role, as long as the empire is still standing. Bix might want to stay and fight against the empire, because to her that is the most important thing right now, but she realizes that her ultimate contribution to the rebellion lies elsewhere: if she stays, she will not be able to resist Cassian’s offer to leave, and she knows that he has to stay. So, she will leave the rebellion on her own.

Bix is the one who first delivers Cassian to the rebels, just as she is the one who will get him to stay with the rebels when it matters most. She sacrifices her desire to fight against the empire for the rebellion. She chooses to leave, and live somewhere as far away from the conflict as possible, all with the hope that with Cassian staying, the rebellion will have a bigger chance at succeeding. As much as she might wish that she could fight for the rebellion, her leaving is, perhaps, her greatest contribution to it.

Now, this is how I personally interpreted Bix’s character arc. Are there things that could have been handled a bit better? Probably. It is okay to disagree with me. The beauty of a well written show like Andor is that it can be interpreted in various ways. There are also more dimensions to Bix’s arc (especially regarding her trauma, and her journey with that), but if I added that, this post would have gotten even longer. It is already ridiculously, embarrassingly, long. 

Anyway, if you’ve read this far: thank you! I hope this made some sense lol.

[ane33mone]

GFTP Chapter 40 snippet

Hi! I'm currently in a bit of a writer's block, so I thought I'd share a bit of the upcoming chapter with you all while I do my very best to actually finish said chapter... I'm hoping of finishing it up somewhere in the next few days (fingers crossed).

If you don't want to be (minorly) spoiled for the chapter, I'd suggest skipping this <33

--

“Midoriya? Can I talk to you?” Aizawa’s gruff voice from behind the door.

“Sure.”

A click, two feet stepping over the threshold and into the room. Izuku doesn’t turn around to look at Aizawa from where he’s lying in bed, cover drawn up to his chin and back facing the door. 

“How have you been?”

“Tired.”

“Your mother told me about the issues you’re having with your quirk, and the minimum timeline that they’ll last. I wanted to assure you that we’ll be looking at ways to adjust the curriculum where possible. You won’t need to worry about your spot on the hero course.”

“Okay.” Izuku hadn’t yet even considered the possibility that he might be kicked off the hero course. To a lot of people, quirkless means worthless. That’s what he essentially is right now–quirkless. Any other time it would have been a relief to know that even quirkless, Aizawa will stick with him. Now though, Izuku just feels…nothing.

A sigh. “Midoriya…I understand that being unable to use your quirk is difficult to deal with–”

“You don’t understand.” In a flash, Izuku has pushed himself up to glare at Aizawa. His teacher is standing in the door opening, a frown on his face. Izuku mutters, “You don’t know what it’s like,” he lets out a shuddering breath, swallows, “to lose a piece of yourself.”

--

You can read Ghosts From The Past here!

[ane33mone]

grant us a Pope who doubts 🕊

[ane33mone]

To The Core.

all credits to the original artist @slbelen on twitter/X

[ane33mone]

GFTP Chapter 37 snippet

Hi! I thought I'd share a snippet of the next chapter while I work on finishing it. Chapter 37 should hopefully be done somewhere in the next few days :) If you don't want to be (minorly) spoiled for the chapter, I'd suggest skipping this <33

CW: mention of human experimentation

--

Inside the room it’s dark, damp and filled with a soft whirring of machines. Rows and rows of tanks fill the room. All of them are filled with Nomu. Next to him, Tiger sucks in a harsh breath as they take it all in. Seeing something like this for the first time can be shocking. It isn’t Toshinori’s first time encountering the dark side of quirk experimentation–he’s been a pro for far too long for that, has been hunting down All For One for too many years–but seeing it at still scale, with the experimentation being this successful and horrifying…

It sours his gut, makes it difficult to remember the brightness of his own smile.

“All Might reporting. This is definitely a Nomu factory, there are at least a dozen stored over here in tanks and–

The sound of something moving deeper inside the room draws his attention and he abruptly stops talking. The other two heroes als seem to have picked up on it, as they also still. 

“I hear another human heartbeat,” Gang Orca growls, gaze searching the darkness. Right as he says that, a shape moves again. Toshinori doesn’t even think, merely reacts to his instincts, and dashes forward.

“HOLD!”

--

This scene might still be up to change as I go through the scenes to edit them so it all flows nicely. This chapter is mostly just a big puzzle to me, and at the moment not all the pieces fit together just yet. BUT I'm nearly there, so I'll hopefully be done any day now ;)

[ane33mone]

[ane33mone]

GFTP Chapter 36 snippet

Hi! I thought I'd share a snippet of the next chapter while I work on finishing it. If you don't want to be (minorly) spoiled for the chapter, I'd suggest skipping this <33

*for context: Toshinori is thinking and walking though UA's halls.*

---

As absorbed as Toshinori is by his own thoughts–so much so that at first he doesn’t even pick up on the crying–he does break out of them when he sees the small woman with disheveled green hair walking down the hallway, in his direction. She isn’t even crying particularly loudly, far from it actually, just some snivels and an occasional muffled sob. At first she doesn't seem to notice him, and as the distance between the two of them decreases, Toshinori is able to see the glistening of tears on her cheeks.

“Ma’am, are you alright?” he asks, before he can even think about it.

If the woman is startled by his presence, she only shows it for a moment by the stiffening of her body. Then she’s wiping away her tears and looking up at him with a strained smile. “I ah- yes. Yes. No need to worry!”

Toshinori frowns, takes in her still teary eyes and one of her hands that is clenched around a phone. 

“Are you sure?” he asks. Even if he’s in his small form right now, he’s aware of his ability to draw sincerity out of people. One time, many years ago, Mirai jokingly suggested that he must have a secondary quirk for that. 

Even if he knows that he doesn’t have that quirk, it still works this time. The woman’s composure crumbles, and she presses her lips together as she averts her gaze. “I- my son…” Her voice cracks.

---

The next chapter should be out either today or tomorrow!

https://archiveofourown.org/works/36457837/chapters/95964388

[ane33mone]

Odysseus moment

[ane33mone]

GFTP Chapter 35 snippet

Hi, since this chapter of 'Ghosts From The Past' is taking me quite literally *forever*, I thought I'd share a little snippet of the chapter to you all! If you don't want to be (minorly) spoiled for the chapter, I'd suggest skipping this <33

---

At some point he must have dozed off, because he wakes with a shock when he hears the sound of footsteps coming his way. Adrenaline shooting through his veins, he scrambles to get up. Right as he does so a familiar figure comes walking into view from the right. 

“Hello little brother,” Tenko says as he stops in front of the cell. Those red eyes of his scan Izuku’s haggard state within a second. He tilts his head to the side, a sharpness to the tilt of his mouth when he asks, “Still in here? I thought you’d learned the rules of the game by now.”

For one moment longer Izuku just stares at the other. Then he forces himself to swallow away the dryness in his throat. He scowls. “What are you doing here?”

---

The next chapter should be out somewhere this weekend!

[ane33mone]

On my never-ending mission to project Izuku onto Epic Odysseus

[ane33mone]

[ane33mone]

rest in pieces, one for all yaoi

[ane33mone]

watch your step to hell, its a long fall!

[ane33mone]

it's always so fascinating and heartbreaking when a character in a story is simultaneously idolized and abused. a chosen prophet destined for martyrdom. a child prodigy forced to grow up too fast. a powerful warrior raised as nothing but a weapon. there's just something so uniquely messed up about singing someone's praises whilst destroying them.