angelsantoyo

[angelsantoyo]

veronica + the head roll

[angelsantoyo]

[angelsantoyo]

[angelsantoyo]

Camila Mendes

photographed by Ryan Pfluger for Variety at Sundance Film Festival, 2020.

[angelsantoyo]

lcgendsx‌:

               ‘‘ shower —- i can do that. ’’ slowly, but surely, jessie got up from the side of the couch that had a now indefinite print of her small body. taking a deep breath, jessie moved towards the bathroom, closing the door behind her. it wasn’t that she was dirty; taking showers was still a daily thing, but dry shampoo was her best friend as she rarely had the energy to fully wash and exfoliate her hair.

               give or take a half hour to forty-five minutes, jessie was found gravitating from the bathroom door. hair still damp but combed and looking fresh looking. new clothing covered her body, her own clothing, a pair of jeans and a t-shirt as though she was actually going out. stepping outside of the house was a scary thought, the idea of seeing people she knew and was blocking out of of her mind and not answering their messages. taking a deep breath, jessie moved back to where angel was located, instantly feeling as though she needed to help. ‘‘ what—-’s left? not sure if you’ve been towards the bedroom but i’ve mostly been on the couch so the bedroom isn’t too bad. laundry is minimum but i can happily go down to do it. ’’ her voice was still quiet, still broken, but she was up. survivors guilt - she needed to handle it, needed someone to help her handle it, but asking for help was never jessie’s strong-suit.

As Angel saw Jessie get up, she gave her an encouraging smile her gaze following her into the bathroom. When she heard the door close she went into instant clean up mode, doing her best to not be judging. She started clearing up the table and taking the trash out. She grabbed the sheets from the couch and put them in the washer. She put the dishes in the dishwasher and grabbed the broom.

As she was sweeping she heard Jessie come back out and stopped for a second to look her over, making sure the girl actually took a bath. She looked clean enough Angel thought. “You feel a better now?” Angel questioned. “I already went down and threw you sheets in, you can check back in 40 minutes to put it in the dryer if you want?” Angel suggested. She made her way closer to the girl and leaned on the wall look at her with a sympathetic eyes. “You up for a talk now or do you want to just keeping cleaning until you lips loosen up?”

[angelsantoyo]

lcgendsx‌:

               ‘‘ deal with you? i’d be worried about their well-being, ’’ she stated with a small chuckle following afterwards. harleen wasn’t a tough girl, she had gone to multiple people to help build her back up after the rejection from angel. she didn’t have a backbone, she was filled with sunshine & jelly, nothing that was firm enough to keep her to stand up-right to hold her ground. angel was the hard one, the one that didn’t take shit from anyone; relying on her wasn’t something that harleen specifically enjoyed, almost feeling bad the more she used angel for her own security reasons. ‘‘ that’s perfectly fine! i don’t need a full prom-posel, ’’ that would just be more stress for the woman.

               moving towards the car, she took in a deep breath. she knew angel was strict about her body, strict about how she looked due to her intense training. harleen believed she was nothing less than beautiful, but she knew better than to voice her concerns about the continuous pressure. angel would come to her when she needed. ‘‘ it was okay! nothing too stressful, got my homework done for the week so i can relax before getting next weeks done. how was yours? ’’

Angel smiled at her words, she did enjoy her hard exterior. It protected her, especially considering coming from a religious family. Not being out to her parents was annoying but necessary- she guessed that was part of her sob story. Not being able to fully be herself with the people who claimed to love her the most in the world. Maybe that’s why she never wanted anything serious with anyone, it was just easier to do no strings. No strings meant never explaining to her parents who she really was. “If you’re sure, I mean you would be worth it. I could you the grandest promposal that girls in the next generation would still be talking about.”

Angel settled into the driver side of the car, checking herself in the mirror before strapping herself in and proceeding to drive out of the McKinley parking lot. “That’s good! I still have a paper to write for English but I have a couple of weeks before it is due, so I’m not too stressed about it,” Angel shrugged. “I have cheer practice tomorrow so you’ll hear stories tomorrow!”

[angelsantoyo]

lcgendsx‌:

              tough love was probably exactly what jessie needed , king tried to give her the realistic side of things , but usually bowed down & gave in by giving her comfort when tears formed in her eyes. angel was exactly who she needed in this moment , even if her mind was telling her to snap at the woman for being so cold-hearted. ‘‘ sorry. ’’ was all she could manage , knowing better than to try & explain herself to the younger santoyo. taking a deep breath , jessie sat up more on the couch , hating how much of a mess she allowed herself to become. she had a support system , she knew that , the last thing she needed to do was to lounge around with the idea of relapsing on her mind. 

               ‘‘ honestly ? the plan was to not move , drown in my own misery & stare at the netflix question on if i’m still watching the reruns. ’’ she said quietly , voice cracking as she reached up once again to brush the tears from her face. ‘‘ i’m —— not sure why the clouds aren’t parting. it doesn’t usually last this long after his anniversary. ’’ god , she was praying in that moment that angel was aware of the anniversary of her brothers death , last thing jessie wanted was to explain the survivors guilt she still held to this day. ‘‘ i should —— i should get up. ’’

Angel understood depression, not many people knew this about her but she had seen it first hand with an old friend. She tried not to think about it, considering how it ended. Seeing a repeat of the actions on Jessie- she needed to get through to the girl so that she didn’t fall into the same fate. Her family didn’t deserve that, neither did King. “Don’t apologize,” Angel rolled her. She remained standing with her arms crossed looking down at the girl.

“Haven’t you had enough of that now?” Angel questioned shaking her head. She needed to remain rough, she wanted Jessie to fight back not be so- so much of a lesser being. Hearing the mention of an anniversary, she assumed it had to deal with her brother. She never knew the details and was hoping she didn’t need to  get into it too much. “Yeah you should, I’ll help you clean up- you should shower and I’ll start. And if you want a sounding board- I have the two ears god gave me, but for now- let’s focus on external, it might help the internal a bit.”

[angelsantoyo]

lcgendsx‌:

             bouncing back after angel took time , with lots of information from teagan and a confidence boost from her elder brother , harleen was able to move on from her feelings & bury them down so far that she was capable of smiling around her best friend once again. despite the lingering feelings that always tried to push through , especially when angel would do such things as wrapping an arm around her or get close enough for harleen to smell the perfume she was wearing that day , she knew better than to put herself in the situation of loving a woman who would never love her back. there was no resentment , although she wished there was , angel had a set way of things , a way of living that harleen knew she had to respect. 

             ‘‘ we both know that me asking someone to the prom will turn into a horrible rant. i’m not entirely upset about it if i don’t get a legit date , though. i’m always happy to go stag. ’’ she said with a small smile , letting herself rest slightly against angel’s side , listening to the woman. ‘‘ oh —— oh please , you know that there are some hot blondes in your private schools ! don’t even play me like that , miss. santoyo. ’’ she giggled , shaking her head from side to side. a part of her actually enjoyed making angel jealous , watching the fake smile she would force upon her features at the mention of maddy’s name. ‘‘ of course ! i have morning yoga tomorrow so i’m happy to do a run afterwards to work off the extra fries. ’’

“Your rants are adorable and anyone who tells you different can deal with moi,” Angel replied. Despite hurting Harleen herself, Angel was very protective over the girl and she would bite anyone’s head off that came even slightly close to hurting her. Angel may have a cutesty name but her claws are always ready to come out. “I’m sure there are, but none that compare to you. So do you want a proper prom-posel or will this suffice Leeny?” Angel asked.

Angel linked arms with her bestie leading her to her car so they could drive to the local diner. Although she knew she would have to run for an extra hour, she did enjoy being with the blonde which is why she insisted on picking her up from school on select days. “Good, now tell how was your day?”

[angelsantoyo]

lcgendsx‌:

closed starter for @angelsantoyo​

               ‘‘ aren’t you excited ? a few more months and we graduate ! we’re going to be prom dress shopping soon , praying that some handsome man — or for me , beautiful ass woman , asks us to prom. we’ll be drinking spiked punch , dancing until our toes fall off ! then we’ll be packing up for college , college ang ! ’’ suppressing her feelings was the only way that harleen was capable of making it through the friendship. since her horrifying attempt to kiss angel , she had managed to distance herself , even making friends with maddy , a girl that was even allowing harleen to think of other women as attractive & a possibility. ‘‘ come on ! put a smile on your face, ’’ a quick pause. ‘‘ i have a quick thing to do with maddy tonight but then i’m free ! i was thinking maybe some milkshakes & chilli cheese fries ? ’’

Angel couldn’t help but smile at the blonde, Harleen was literally the sunshine to her dark side and she appreciated that the blonde always had a positive position in life. She was grateful they were on speaking terms after their scuffle, she couldn’t help that she wasn’t the relationship type and she thankful they were back to being the perfect duo. “I mean I would be more excited in April when I get my acceptances from Miami, UCLA, Louisiana, and Oklahoma,” Angel responded with a slight smile. In truth she was not stressed about acceptance, she knew she was a shoe-in for a scholarship and even if she wasn’t her parents had it covered. She just wanted to make sure she enjoyed her college years of cheer before she fell into med school roughness.

“Yes! I am excited, and you don’t need some girl to ask, you can just run up to any girl and ask her- they would be lucky to have you,” Angel said throwing an arm around her best friend. “Besides, never forget- we get two proms together babe. I mean if you invite me to yours, because you are definitely coming to mine- show those private school girls what a hot blonde really looks like,” She giggled. Hearing the name of Maddy, Angel suppresed an eyeroll, she was tired of splitting her time with Harleen with another girl, but she knew it would also be unfair to try and keep her to herself. “Have fun with Maddy,” Angel forced a smile. “That sounds great! but you have to promise to eat most of the fries, I need to keep up my weight for cheer!”

[angelsantoyo]

lcgendsx‌:

closed starter for @angelsantoyo​

               living with king was the only thing that caused jessie to get her life back on track. she had been attending classes regularly , almost ready to graduate from her art program before thinking of what to do next ; she never missed a single day of work , she was eating three meals a day. and drugs ? she couldn’t even bring herself to think of them since her last downfall at thanksgiving. but since christmas , jessie wasn’t herself , & everyone close to her knew that. king tried his best , the twins were always falling her to make sure that she was at least eating , but leaving the bed was almost a deadly thought. jessie knew it was due to the lack of family time she could have , with her eldest brothers anniversary passing a few weeks prior & her refusal to see her family for christmas , it was only in due time that jessie would break again. sitting up the moment she heard the door open , she was almost shocked at the woman that walked in. ‘‘ angel —– hi. king isn’t here right now —- he should be home soon , i don’t think he should be working late. ’’ she said quietly , reaching up to wipe under her eyes as a pre-caution.

Angel had a habit of striking the fear of god in people, she literally couldn’t help it, she noticed this quality in her when she was five. To say she took that to her advantage, was an understatement, It was in her middle school days she learned when to use her powers for good or for destruction. In this case though, it was for good. Angel knew Jessie had been lazying around for the past few months, she knew because when Jessie fell- King became tense. The last thing she needed was a tense King, and the fellow brunette had been growing on her.

Angel gave a courtesy knock before unlocking the door with her key and making her way through the apartment. Hearing Jessie’s voice, she rolled her eyes, it was the same line she heard from the girl over and over. “If I was here for King, I would’ve come later, I know my bro’s schedule,” she commented placing her purse down on the table. “You plan on laying on the couch all day, or have we decided the clouds are parting away now?”

[angelsantoyo]

[angelsantoyo]

[angelsantoyo]

[angelsantoyo]

veronica + pop culture references

[angelsantoyo]

— how to be a heroine | m.j.

[angelsantoyo]

[angelsantoyo]

lcgendsx‌:

               “Maybe it’s your time to shine and show them to how to enjoy life outside of having their nose in a book & hair falling out during the shower from stress.”

“I am pretty good at shining, well exceptional actually.  I could try roping in these nerds and make them see there is more to life than books. How are you doing?”