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animusicnerd · 1 year ago

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The Sea Calls Me Home

Twisted Wonderland

You are a witch who lives on the beach of a seaside village. You've always done all you could for the people of the village who gave you a home after you washed up on their shores ten years ago. This season should be no different.

Word Count: 5,037 ✯ AO3 Version

Character(s): Azul Ashengrotto x Reader

Tags: Gender Neutral Reader, Can Be Read As Platonic or Romantic (it's up to reader interpretation), Mild Horror Elements, Unedited

Inspired by this writing prompt list and my friend Ames's writing.

“I wish to go back. I want to forget everything.”

Cool gray eyes stared back into yours as you fought to keep your focus intact in the smoky haze of the cave you found yourself in. How did you get here, again? The thoughts were languidly coiling in your mind, unable to fully form, teasing you to distraction.

��Can you afford the price of ignorance?”

The sharp command of that voice snapped up your attention back to the present, the dampness of the cave a cool balm on your feverish skin, body shaking from the wild magic choking you. The very air was saturated with it and your body was rejecting it. Your focus lapsed against a tide of nausea that rolled over you. A hand touched your cheek, the brush of fingertips a whisper of relief as your eyes opened again. You couldn’t make out his face anymore in the haze that seemed to thicken the longer you stared in search of his eyes. You had to close your eyes again to hold onto the clarity he had returned to you; your voice cracked against the last dregs of your consciousness.

“I’ve more than paid all that you’ve ever asked of me.”

Townhall was always sweltering whenever you’d enter at the request of the villagers to come in for a meal, a welcome change from the wet cold that clung to every stone and building in the village you’d come to call home ten years ago. Cheers welcomed you as you waved a greeting to everyone, who used the town hall as both the place for hearings and gatherings of meals, a communal space where everyone endured against the storms that plagued this seaside village year round.

“Come, sit!”

“Take this coat, warm yourself, dear!”

“You’ve yet to eat, haven’t you? Here, take your portion!”

Laughing and exchanging greetings with the faces you’d come to know these past ten years, you sat among them, the bowl of oats and eggs warming your frigid fingers as their boisterous chatter warmed your heart. Resources in this village were always short, the land poorly suited to farming, while the mercurial shores made the primary way of life - fishing - difficult to maintain. Despite all this, the people of this village were always joyous. They did not shy from their hard life, they always shared as if they were as rich as the people of the plains. Among the round, smiling faces, it was easy to take note of the utter lack of children. Given that winter had begun to grip the village, it was not usual for the children to begin staying at home, yet there were no children present at all.

“How’re the children?” you asked the man next to you, who looked up at you with a smile sweetened with indolence.

He scoffed, shaking his head. “You need not worry about them, witch. Your miracle cures always work.”

“You’ve not done us wrong yet,” his wife, on his other side, giggled. They were just as the day you’d met them, bronzed by a life of fishing, hair grayed by hard labor. Their children came to them late in life, but they always were industrious, eager to help their parents.

“The potion hasn’t taken yet?”

If this was true, then it would be quite worrying indeed. It’d already been a week and a half since you made it for them, assured of its efficacy. You were no doctor, not by any means, but you knew the way of the land and sea enough to ask of nature how to spell together ways of healing to aid the body back to health. But the villagers tittered at you to not concern yourself.

“Please, you know how easy I worry over all of you. You all took me in when I washed up on your shore, gave me a home when I had none. I won’t be able to relax until I know how the children are doing. I don’t want to see any of them die.”

They hushed you quickly.

“Don’t speak such ill omens!” the fisherman’s wife's sweet voice squealed with humor. “We’ve endured no hardship since you came to our shores, don’t jinx it, dear witch!”

The other villagers laughed in agreement. Your lips pursed, your bowl of food cold and unappetizing now. Their positive outlook despite their dreary livelihoods endeared you most days, but when it came to serious issues like this, it truly irked you. Whenever they needed your help, they had become more trusting in your ability to seemingly wipe away all worries with a sweep of your hand over the years, to the point where you seemed to sit apart from them.

“My spellwork is only what any human can ask of the land and sea. I’m no fae or spirit. Please, won’t you tell me if the potion has taken?” But the crowd only laughed off your concerns, at ease and indolent from the warmth of the hearth and meal before them, assured that your potion would work just like every miracle you’d brought them before. You’d get no answer on the health of the children of the village from them.

Sighing, you took your leave to the raucous farewells of the villagers, a sharp shout of a brawl breaking out over your leftovers as you stepped back into the wet chill of the morning air. It gladdened you that even with the scarcity that winter would surely bring and the disease that was coming for each child, that the villagers were plump and without want for good clothes or good food. Still…the lack of concern grated at you. Of course, you’d never know their inner thoughts. Perhaps it was their way of hiding their stress and woes. But you wouldn’t be truly able to know how the children were doing unless you could see it for yourself.

You’d be unable to enter any homes to investigate without express invitation - it was only polite, after all - so you’d have to seek out the only people in this village who were always honest with you about the state of things. They’d come to this village at the same time as you, but had remained aloof from the rest of the village, which suited the other villagers just fine.

Petrichor and rotting sea gross stung at your nose as you followed the road from the town hall to the fringes of the village along the far side of the rocky cliffs that face the sea, over the cave system that snaked underneath the whole of the neighborhood. The wind coming in from the sea whipped and nipped at you, turning your fingers numb with cold even as you shoved them into the threadbare coat you’d been given that morning. It was hard to make out their forms against the near constant gloom of the gray sky and pale sunlight, but the twins who’d come to regard you fondly were fishing off the edge of the cliff, as they usually were every morning.

“Oh? I was wondering when you’d visit,” one twin grinned while the other jumped up to greet you, his fishing pole abandoned, “Shrimpy, you came by!”

You waved with a smile as you approached, unphased as Floyd ran over to scoop you up into a bruising hug, “Hello Jade, Floyd. How’s the catch this morning?”

“The same as always,” Jade dismissed, setting aside his things to pick up Floyd’s abandoned pole and tackle. “What questions do you have for us today?”

Floyd pouted, squishing your face against his chest as you limply let him hug you. It was usually best to just let him out of his system first. “Shrimpy could’ve visited us just to see us, Jade.”

“I actually did have questions,” you interjected quickly, wary of one of Floyd’s mood swings. “But we can have dinner together today, Floyd.”

He sulked, but put you down, somewhat mollified. “You’re worried about the guppies of the village, aren’t you?”

“You’ve always had a bleeding heart,” Jade mused, shaking his head. “Your potion hasn’t taken, it seems.”

You shrugged. “The villagers seem to think that I’m something of a miracle worker now.”

“They’d be worshiping Azul instead if they knew how much you went to him for his cures,” Floyd laughed, only to be cut off by Jade harshly elbowing him in the rib. “Sorry, Shrimpy. I know you just ask him to teach you stuff. Still, it’s weird.”

“Indeed. Azul is knowledgeable; it is odd that the potion hasn’t taken. There’s yet to be an ailment he doesn’t know a cure for yet.”

You swallowed down another sigh.

Azul the sea witch…

He was an enigmatic mer of the sea who’d been introduced to you by the twins one fateful night ten years ago, during your first winter in this village.

Once a deal was struck with him…

It was difficult to not seek out another one from him.

“Will you just tell me how the children are doing? Have any died?”

They shook their heads, relieving some of the tension from your shoulders. A roll of thunder had the three of you looking to the sky, which had begun to darken.

“They’re the same as when you first saw them,” Floyd turned to you with a frown, his golden eye seemingly to glow in the dimming day.

“None have been taken yet. Your potion has halted whatever haunts them. But it has not cured them,” Jade continued, his golden eye flaring brighter than Floyd’s.

You nodded, used to their matter of fact answers. You’d learned not to ask how they got these answers without ever leaving their hut ten years ago.

“He’ll arrive soon,” they said as one.

It was your cue to leave the way you’d come, following the cliffs down to the beach you had come to call home.

The horizon promised a storm the likes of which would continue to swallow the sky whole and flood the tide caves that were under the cliffs of the coast. The beach was always a disgusting thing to behold on the eve of a storm. Bleached coral, jagged and sharp, would dot the shoreline like spit-up bones, the rust of sediment thrown up by the tide always stained the sand like blood. Here, between the advent of a storm and the rejection of the sea, was the best time to harvest materials from the sea for spells and magic.

It was also the only time one would be able to exchange with the sea witch when he came to shore.

Despite having dealt with him since you’d arrived on this same shore ten years ago, shipwrecked and with no memory save your name and how to bargain a spell from the spoils of the sea and land, Azul was as unchanged as the ebb and flow of the tide itself. His skin was ashen, his tentacles a writhing mass that spoke of the abyssal depths he usually resided in, his hair neatly coiffed despite the waters he rose out of to offer his bargains.

“How quick you are to sell yourself for those who would sell you for half a loaf of bread,” he sighed in lieu of a greeting, towering over you as his tentacles pushed him up from the sea before he stepped down in front of you one human foot at a time, into the form of the bespectacled gentleman he always took when coming ashore. “Have you not heard of the tale of the fool who gave and gave until nothing of him was left? It’s been less than a week since you asked me to check over your potion.”

“You’re so cynical, yet you never decline a deal with me. Hypocrite, much?”

He scoffed, shaking his head at you. “It’s natural for a business man to weigh his risks against his potential profit. If you’re not in good condition, how am I to exact a price from you?”

You giggled as he walked away, already familiar with the path up the beach to the cottage the villagers had given you on the outskirts of the village proper. Despite the threat of the sea swallowing the ramshackle thing whole with the frequent storms that plagued the village, never once had it ever occurred to you to move residence, despite a certain sea witch’s snide remarks over the years. You would be loath to be away from the sea, and there was no home that could possibly be closer to the sea than your cottage upon the beach.

“So? What is the issue plaguing your helpless villagers this time? A charm for their nets for the season? A spell for the hearths to catch flame against damp wood? Grain for the winter?”

He looked about the single room of your home impatiently as he asked, scowling at the empty fireplace in the kitchen. It had gone out when you’d left that morning, the old window liable to drafts. The lumber in it caught fire with a single glare from him before he sat at the sad excuse of a dining table, nodding in satisfaction. You hid your smile behind the busyness of preparing tea for him, though it was really nothing more than some mint leaves and honey in tepid water.

“Medicine this time, actually. The potion I’d ask for your consultation on was for -”

“The villagers, I know,” he interrupted. “I’d gathered as much. It’s always for others, never for yourself, with you.”

You laughed, serving him the ‘tea.’ He took a long draw of it, setting it down with a huff, eyes lingering on every chip and fracture line of the cup. They mended themselves with a quiet slosh of liquid.

“The children have caught something that the potion isn’t helping. Floyd and Jade said that it’s halted whatever it is, but…it seems the children are in a stasis or sorts, it seems. None have died, thankfully. And I would like to keep it that way.”

He nodded slowly, summoning a style of fish bone as you brought out the paper you kept specifically for the deals you made with Azul. “Yes, let’s. I’ve no love for those villagers you care for so much, but the children hold no blame here. Describe the illness to me. Then we’ll see if I can grant what you ask of me.”

So you did, listing the symptoms as they had appeared nearly a month ago now.

Each symptom appeared three days apart.

The first sign was a loss of the legs. Useless and weak, the child would become bound to their bed.

The second sign was a hallowing of the body, until the child was little more than skin and bones. They lost weight and muscle mass in a matter of hours, despite no fluids being expelled from the body, in spite of any meals or medicines given to the child.

That was when you’d begun brewing your potion to give to the children, having dealt with a similar such plague harming the village some winters before, though the rapidity of the symptoms were starkly different from what had happened in the past.

Then three days later, the day you’d been able to administer the potion after consulting Azul on the efficacy of your potion, came the latest symptom in the children you were too slow to reach.

A loss of vivacity, a stillness of the chest and breath, eyes utterly dim and vacant; as if the child had drowned. Dead in all but reality.

Azul’s stylus paused from his note taking as you described the latest of the symptoms, inks pooling onto the paper and blotting out his neat, looping script.

“The price of this is too high for you to pay.”

You didn’t blink an eye.

“You know this disease.”

It wasn’t so much a question as it was a demand of Azul to honor your ten years of bargains to answer you.

The fire in the hearth flared bright and wide, stray sparks freckling your cheeks, kissing them with sharp burns. You sat unmoved. The fire shrunk back when Azul noticed the ash that fell from your skin.

“I’m not teaching you the cure for it. Wash yourself of this situation.”

“What happened to the innocence of the children? I can take the cost of you healing them in my stead.”

The fire roared long enough for the edge of your window curtain to catch flame before it snuffed itself abruptly with a hiss, in time with Azul pinching the bridge of his nose under his glasses.

“You cannot afford even that,” he hissed out from behind clenched teeth. “Must I spell it out for you? What a cost this high even means? This disease is inhuman. It is dark. Do not involve yourself in it.”

“Can’t I? You’re clever about your loopholes, Azul. Won’t you make one for me?”

He glared, standing and flicking away the stylus with a wave of his hand, the thing disappearing back to where it came in a cloud of ash, right along with the paper he’d been taking notes on.

“I’m not making this deal with you.”

Your brow twitched. “What? What do you mean you won’t? The children - “

He looked down at you, sighing out your name almost apologetically, the command effective immediately as you found yourself shackled to your chair indignantly.

“Azul!”

“Hush.” Your mouth clamped shut and you squealed your ire at him as he looked at you with pity. “You really are a bleeding heart. Know that I take no joy in the harm of children; I am an opportunist, not a monster. I will not make this deal with you. Nor will you make such a deal with any other. You will leave the humans be. If the children are not well another week from now...then I will come to shore for you. But you will leave the humans be.”

You’d be struggling in your seat against his command, but his order shocked you into stilled silence. After these ten years of knowing you, never once had he ever used your name against you like, not once, and now he used it against you in the cruelest way you could have ever imagined.

“Too sweet, you are,” he murmured, hardly able to meet your betrayed gaze. He glanced at the hearth, the flames gently leaping to life again, before turning to the door and stepping out with a look back. In a flash of lightning, he was gone, back into the sea from whence he came.

𓆝 𓆟 𓆞𓆝 𓆟 𓆞𓆝 𓆟 𓆞

The next seven days consisted of your anxious pacing along the shoreline, unable to enter the village proper, or even trek up the coastline to visit the twins and ask after the health of the children. You knew none of the villagers would come to see you, none of them ever entered your little beach, not once these past ten years. You wouldn’t be able to ask them anything because of Azul anyways, but it still disheartened you that no one even looked your way as you paced the shore, alternating between cursing at the sea and busying yourself with collecting the things that washed up on shore for spells that you could sell. You supposed it was just business as usual, for the villagers to not even check up on you, since you would disappear into your home for days at a time to work on the magic you used to help them each season.

The anxiety over the fate of the children was getting to you.

The minute Azul’s command lost hold on you on the dawn of the eighth day, you all but sprinted into town, anxiety practically choking you as you asked each villager how their children were fairing. Again, as they had the week before, they’d laughed and waved off your worries. Each villager you asked, the same lack of concern. Until you reached Ms. Spade, the widower who always made sure you had your own supply of grain and linens each winter before she went to visit her mother in the mainland with her son Deuce for the season.

She called out your name in relief upon seeing you, grasping your hands with such a grip that your joints ached. “I haven’t seen you in days! What happened?”

“I wasn’t able to leave my home,” you grimaced, “How is Deuce? Is he still okay?”

Ms. Spade’s sober expression was all the answer you needed.

“We were sure it wasn’t contagious, helping the Clovers care for their youngest alongside Trey, but three days ago, both Trey and Deuce lost the use of their legs. It won’t be long now before both of them…”

You squeezed her hands in turn as her voice cracked before reaching into your pockets to produce more of the potion you’d made before, pushing them into your hands. “This is what I gave the other children. It didn’t cure the other children, but it did halt the symptoms.”

She pulled you into a brief, fierce hug before bolting off in the direction of the Clover household, her speed enough to rival her own son. Exhaling slowly to calm your racing heart, you observed the village to gauge the moods of the people around you. The majority of the villagers were indolent and smiling, but after speaking with Ms. Spade, you began to notice the wary faces of some haunting the shadows of their doorways, looking on in contempt and weary compliance.

Thunder rolled in the distance.

“You’re back in town. I thought Azul would have commanded your banishment to be longer.”

You whirled around to find Jade carrying a cooler of his morning’s catch, observing you and your nerves. Floyd was nowhere to be seen, as was to be expected. He did not enter the village proper if he could help it, always preferring to be by the sea, much like you.

“The children.”

“Still in stasis,” he reassured, pausing as his gold eye flared briefly in a glow. Something about its glow nagged at a memory that would not catch in your mind. “None have died. More have fallen ill, though. It will not be long before all of them are affected.”

You sucked in a sharp breath, Jade’s arm shooting out to steady you as you wobbled at the news, a hot wash of anger towards Azul blinding you.

“Is the storm close enough for me to see him?” you managed to spit out, clinging to his arm as he steadied you. His concerned silence had you looking up at him, eyes narrowing. “You and Floyd know more about this disease than you let on.”

“Not anymore than you did, until Azul told us. It was after he’d visited you.”

You gripped the collar of his shirt, pulling him in until you were nose to nose, your voice rough with rage, “Tell me. Tell me all of it, Jade. I’m not some child, too naive to know about the consequences of dealing in spellwork! Why the footing around the issue the minute this disease is discussed? What is happening to the children?!”

He remained calm, shifting his arm to below your waist to hoist you up into a carry, hushing your indignant shriek with a whisper of your name to command your silence. The second time in ten years that they’d dare to use your name against you.

“You’re bringing unwanted attention to us. Come, we’ll go see Azul. I’ll explain as we walk.”

You were forced to sit in his arms in silence as he carried you through the village, the curious gazes of the villagers sliding off the two of you like water as their eyes glazed over and something else caught their attention. You squeezed his shoulder with your nails as hard as you could, irritated when he hardly spared you a glance.

“At first, Floyd and I thought it was like that illness you prepared for five years ago. That was why we fished for the memory of that potion you made at the time and helped you gather the ingredients for your potions. But then Azul came to us after he confined you to your home with the symptoms you’d described to him. You hadn’t told us nearly half of what you’d told him. Floyd was quite cross with you.”

You winced, aware that Jade was cross with you as well, even if he left it unspoken. He continued on, just as matter of factly.

“As Azul told you, the disease is inhuman. To be more precise, it is a dark, forbidden magic. It is drenched in the work of fae dealings.”

He glanced up at you, making eye contact.

“Unlike Azul, the fae deals in the way of an exact, equivalent exchange.”

He looked forward again, taking care as he steps onto the beach, so as to not drop you on the uneven terrain.

His command on you had lost its hold, but you were too tremulous to open your mouth. Azul was already waiting at the shoreline, in his human form, the tide creating a semi-circle around him as it ebbed in and out.

“The children are wasting because they are being traded for - “

You slapped a hand over Jade’s mouth, unable to hear the rest. He was unbothered, setting you down. Your knees gave up, but he kept his arm around you to hold you up.

Azul approached with sigh, taking you from Jade’s hold to support you himself.

“The children have not improved on their own, I take it?”

You could barely manage a shake of your head, a cold nausea rising up within you. Azul’s hand rubbing up and down your back slowly, soothingly, kept your focus in the moment.

“These humans are why I didn’t want you to leave home,” he sighed, easing you down to the sand so that you could sit together. Jade walked off in your peripheral vision, but your focus was on Azul and his words. He hesitated for a moment, removing his glasses and looking down at them for a moment, before looking up at you. “I am…sure you noticed that the humans of this village have always been the chipper sort, despite the harshness of the land they live on. It’s what drew you to them, after all.”

You nodded slowly, fighting against the urge to close your eyes and cover your ears.

“Have you not wondered why that is? Why their life is so plentiful, when their land does not take seed, when their shores are wracked by storms so often that their one means of sustenance is not sustenance enough?”

He paused, waiting for a response, then continued on while you remained silent.

“Did you not wonder why they were so eager to welcome you and give you a home out of the abandoned shack on the beach when you offered magic in exchange for nothing but a hot meal?”

You shut your eyes, refusing to open them even as his hands cupped your face and his thumbs stroked your cheeks.

“You’ve always been a bleeding heart,” he sighed, pulling away. The air grew damp, and it was becoming hard for you to breathe as the magic in the air began to concentrate.

When had the two of you moved from the beach? Where had Jade gone?

“Do you still wish to save the children?”

You opened your eyes to meet his, swaying as your brain fought against what he was telling you, what he was asking of you. You were beginning to gag on the magic in the air.

“I wish to go back. I want to forget everything.”

“Can you afford the price of ignorance?”

“I’ve more than paid all that you’ve ever asked of me.”

Azul caught you, cradling you to his chest. He sighed, stroking the top of your head with a frown. You were haggard and drained, your human form ill-suited to take in the untamed magic of the cave he’d brought the two of you to, away from the beach where villagers lingered at the edges, unable to actually enter the cursed beach themselves. He traced gentle touches down your face, your shoulders, your arms, undoing the spells he’d layered upon you ten years ago when he’d delivered you to the shores of this village.

The one deal he’d regretted in the past ten years.

He kept watch over you until your breathing eased and your body adjusted to the magic saturating in the cave, laying you down in the pool of water that’d begun to grow as the tide came into the cave.

Your true form was just as breathtaking as the last he’d seen it, before you’d left home to come onto land, to be with these humans you loved so much.

“To think I’d ever break my rule to never negotiate with the fae,” he murmured, taking in your peaceful, sleeping face.

He hated humans, yes. They made it so easy to prey upon their greed. He truly did not understand what you saw in them.

But he was still no monster.

Likes and reblogs are welcomed and appreciated! If you have any questions about this story and the elements that were left open ended and up to interpretation, please feel free to send me an ask!

#RAAAHHH MIMI POSTED #1000/10 #would read again

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animusicnerd · 1 year ago

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doodle

Alastor is excited about sinners

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animusicnerd · 1 year ago

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The host of the hotel

Our short king

Delicious

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animusicnerd · 1 year ago

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PATTERN BANNERS | galaxy 06.

( requested by → Anon )

heehee, thank you for requesting this, Anonnie ! i used the same palette as my sunset mdni and support banners. :D I’m personally loving the second last set heheh 🤍

colours : 001 / 002 / 003 / 004 / 005 / 006 / 007 / 008 / 009

feel free to use; please like, reblog, and credit 〜

support me through ko-fi | more dividers →

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animusicnerd · 1 year ago

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PATTERN BANNERS | galaxy 05.

( requested by → Anon & @forjongseong )

this palette reminds me of how the night sky goes from dark blues to purples after the sun sets and before the sun rises. original title for this was ‘night wave,’ hehe.

colours : 001 / 002 / 003 / 004 / 005 / 006 / 007 / 008 / 009

feel free to use; please like, reblog, and credit 〜

support me through ko-fi | more dividers →

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animusicnerd · 1 year ago

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Mortals and Fools — First Look #1 (Coming Soon)

Want to read a SFW coming-of-age fantasy novel with evil gods, two adult aspec protagonists and magic? Consider supporting this project!

Author's Note: After a total of 8 years of posting fanfiction on this account, I am excited to announce that I am finally starting my first long-term original work as an author! Goal is to get this series published as an actual novel but until then, I will be uploading chapters online as I write them, hopefully building an audience in the process! Mortals and Fools will be available on Wattpad and potentially other platforms. The first 4 chapters will be uploaded to Tumblr as well. Over the next few weeks I will keep uploading promo posts with new characters and more info! Thank you so much to everyone who has supported me as a writer over the years and welcome to everyone who's new here!

Summary: In the land of Elsthess, brilliant but arrogant Dr. Immanuel Faust is doing his best to follow the teachings of the Goddess of Wisdom, live up to his late grandmother's expectations and hide the fact that he has been seeing strange, mystical apparitions all his life. When his pupil becomes afflicted with an ancient curse and the things he has seen turn out to be more than just hallucinations, Immanuel must forge a contract with Morgan, a being from another realm who's ready to humble him at every turn, and learn his religion's most despised art: magic. As he steps outside of the simple world he has grown up in, he slowly comes to realize that there is much more to learn for him still.

Themes:

The Meaning of Wisdom & Growth

Unlearning harmful narratives and prejudices

Religious Trauma

Healing from Abuse

Rebuilding trust in others

Learning to understand others

Navigating radical changes during adulthood

Elitism and class inequality

The problems with the ideal of meritocracy

Queerplatonic & Alterous Attraction

Addiction

Gender Dysphoria

What this story contains:

A variety of fun magical powers!

Evil Gods & Forces from other Realms!

Queer rep! (demisexual & aroace protagonists, a trans man and a wlw couple)

Mysteries to unravel

The coming-of-age fantasy adventures you're used to from YA novels but with characters in their 20s and struggles of adulthood

Humor

My blood, sweat and tears as an author

The Cast: Introducing 3 Characters

Here's some info on the three characters in the header, from left to right!

#1 — Dr. Immanuel Icarus Faust

❝ It wasn't supposed to be like this... I've failed... as both a doctor and a man of faith. I wanted to follow your teachings, dear Goddess, and guide those who seek wisdom and knowledge, as grandmother did... but I couldn't even save one innocent girl. Have I become godless? ❝

Raised by his grandmother, the High Priestess of Solbrynn's temple, Immanuel was taught from an early age on to aspire to be the best in everything he attempted to do and dedicate his life to wisdom, in order to make the Goddess Adira proud. Having become a renowned physician at the age of 28, Immanuel understands himself as his kingdom's ideal of a self-made man: a scholar who can achieve everything he puts his mind to, no matter the circumstances. As a result, he has put himself on a pedestal, believing that those who achieved less than him had all the chances and merely didn't use them. Fearing nothing more than failure and becoming anything like his absent, alcoholic father; Immanuel is bound for a rude awakening.

#2 — Morgan Miralaith

❝ While you were having your existential crisis in the mad scientist laboratory you call your bedroom, I took the liberty to read your grandmother's diary. The good news is, I finally understand where all the hubris comes from. ❝

Morgan, belonging to a long-lived species from the realm of Calliah, is the second-in-command for the Elsthess Resistance against the Plague Avatars. While the Resistance on Mhorunn regards her as a capable leader and a skilled fighter; using fire magic to blaze her way to victory; it is clear to most that she has many secrets and ulterior motives. She cares about others in her own way, yet hardly lets anyone close to her. With her mischievous demeanor and cynical nature, Morgan has made it her new mission to recruit Immanuel for the Resistance and, while at it, shatter his very distorted self-image and worldview. Upon forging a contract with her, Immanuel believes that he has sold his soul to a demon. It is only upon meeting others of her kind that he realizes that really is just her personality.

#3 — Mortis Grimm

❞ People reject that which is foreign to them. You of all people should know this. Still, my personal aspirations and origins are of no concern to you. Remember that. ❝

While there are several people from the Realm of Calliah in Elsthess, the realm that Mortis Grimm originated from is unknown. He seems to be the only one of his kind and there is something sinister about him. Wielding powerful magic that matches no other in recorded nature, Mortis, despite being the leader of the Resistance, is a big mystery to all of its members. Usually donning a Plague Doctor mask, Morgan is among the few to have seen his face. He is Mhorunn's greatest ally, but hardly a trusted one. Most understand that he could just as well become its greatest enemy one day.

Interested in reading more and receiving updates as they're posted? Comment on this post and tell me if you'd like to be added to the taglist! Reblogs are appreciated to spread the word! 💞

Taglist — @gwaaaaar @silveryloneliness @noxochicoztliv @justletmeon12 @averytirednerd @letsallsleepoverwork @styrofauxm @non-pressurizeddiamond @mangoinacan13 @amateurmasksmith @kenobiblue @soru-dee @pictures-of-the-stars @elf-osamu @animusicnerd

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animusicnerd · 1 year ago

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Since it's Aromantic Spectrum Awareness Week I want to thank the aro community for everything they taught me and everything they did for me even before I started to identify as frayromantic. I had so much amatonormativity to unlearn before I could arrive at this point, so this is my first aro week, but identifying as ace for years, I inevitably met a lot of aros online and saw a lot of aro positivity posts.

Truth be told, from age 14 - 19 I suffered a period of debilitating, very traumatizing emotional abuse that killed my entire social life and my abuser would make sure i couldn't form these bonds when i wanted to. As soon as I got out of that -> covid lockdown. When the pandemic restrictions were lifted I've spent 7 years at that point pretty much socially isolated aside from online contacts. And in the past 3 years I've been busy healing, studying, adulting and picking up the pieces.

It's been almost a decade now in which I didn't have a stable social life (aside from my relatives) and everyone else has always looked at me with this... weird pity for it. I had a lot of anxiety due to being ace as well; because i didn't feel like i could find that close committed relationship i wanted without engaging in sexual activity. People imagined the past decade in my life as me sitting on the couch all day wallowing in self-pity and loneliness, which honestly does such a disservice to all the places I visited, the ways in which i've grown, the art i made and the changes i made. People treated me like I had wasted 10 years of my life and constantly put pressure on me to be more social, to put myself into situations i wasn't comfortable with or to at least get a partner so I won't have to die alone. Dying alone was this terrible horror concept that was pushed onto me as my inevitable fate if i didn't get my shit together. And for the longest time I believed that. I hardly struggled with loneliness, I struggled with this internalized idea that I had failed at life - that i am a failure - if i don't have this many irl friends or a partner.

The aro community was THE FIRST SPACE that helped me dismantle this perspective of seeing the relationships in my life as an extension of myself. The first space that taught me that relationships of any kind aren't these things i have to collect to prove I've led a successful life. The first community that turned around and said "You are whole as you are. You are enough. And you don't need anyone else to complete you." And hearing that, to me, was such a wake-up call; it was such a novelty-realization in contrast to all the bullshit i had internalized, that I cried because damn, this was what I needed to hear.

Suddenly the value of my life wasn't defined by the kind of relationships and how many relationships I filled it with. Suddenly I realized that the committed relationship I wanted didn't have to be romantic (or sexual for that matter); hell, I didn't even want it to be. Suddenly I realized the biggest obstacle to enjoying life for me was all the people who told me i wasn't enjoying my life properly. The aro community taught me so much about love, self-worth and independence. And I haven't been active here for long but everyone has been so kind.

The aro community gave me all the hope and positivity that i needed to focus on myself and my life. I still want to form meaningful irl friendships and get a QPR in the future but the pressure is gone to get all of that asap or else my time on this earth is wasted. I have faith that these things will come when I'm ready and when it's the right time and even if they don't, it's not going to be the end of the world. My value as a person and the success of my life is not defined by the people in it and it never will be. Nor will yours. Nor will anyone's.

Some of y'all might be out here asking yourselves "I'm not aro, what does the aromantic community concern me?" So much. Amatonormativity and relationship hierarchy go so much deeper than just the assumption that everyone desires romantic love. The aromantic community can teach us so much and help us unlearn so many things that are ingrained into our system and into our way of thinking. We should be unlearning those things because doing so will take pressure away from all of us, no matter how we identify. The aromantic community should concern you because they're people with their own hopes and dreams who deserve to find happiness in whatever way feels right for them without the world constantly telling them they're doing it wrong.

The aromantic community has made me a more understanding, hopeful, positive and independent person and I can't thank them enough for that. Happy Aromantic Spectrum Awareness Week.

🧡💛🤍🩵💙

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animusicnerd · 1 year ago

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I want to know the secret of shadow

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animusicnerd · 1 year ago

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glasses

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animusicnerd · 1 year ago

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doodle

Alastor has a rich expression, which is nice

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animusicnerd · 1 year ago

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Let’s Talk About Love

Shall We Date?: Obey Me! One Master To Rule Them All!

Summary: Levi doesn’t understand why you keep choosing him over his brothers time and time again. He can’t offer you the same things that they would be able to offer you.

Word Count: 2174 ✯ AO3 Version

Characters: Aromantic! Asexual! Leviathan x Aromantic! Asexual! GN! Reader

Tags: Fluff, aroace reader x aroace character, discussions of aromanticism, discussions of queer platonic relationships, autistic-coded Levi

Jealousy was an emotion that Leviathan spent the whole of his existence being intimately familiar with. Such a thing is no surprise, really - he transformed into the Avatar of Envy after his fall from heaven, afterall. Envy was a black, ugly feeling that he lived with too closely anytime he didn't drown himself in his manga, anime, or games to escape from it.

Inferiority was another emotion he knew just as well, even if he experienced it less often, since he shut himself away in his room most everyday so that he wouldn't have to deal with the overwhelming weight of all he was lacking that came with inferiority. That and so he wouldn't have to deal with his social anxiety, too.

Inferiority was, unfortunately, something he was feeling way too much lately, ever since you have come to the Devildom and wormed your way into his family’s life. Watching his brothers all fawn over you around the breakfast table, the inferiority was especially oppressive today. Each of them had a different approach to you, but he knew that each one of them was in love with you.

Mammon was the most obvious about his being in love with you with how he constantly tried to get your attention and monopolize your time, even if he wasn’t entirely honest about his feelings. Satan was slightly more devious about it, covering up his shyness over outright saying his feelings by straight-forward actions, flirting with you and asking you out on dates. Belphegor was territorial and possessive of you, easily upset when your thoughts and time weren’t devoted to him, wanting to monopolize you in a way that was much less wholesome than how Mammon desired to monopolize your time.

Levi sincerely hopes that his younger brother was not a yandere, like the kinds he sometimes saw in his manga and anime. For your safety as well as the safety of the rest of them.

Asmodeus flirted with you just as he flirted with every person he found attractive, but Levi knows that Asmo’s love for you was genuine in that you were the only person allowed to see the true insecurities lying under the air-headed facade Asmo maintained. Lucifer desired you just as Asmo desired you, openly fond of you when he thought no one else was watching, being severely strict upon you to try and maintain the idea that he had no favoritism towards you when he thought people were watching. Beelzebub - well, Levi actually wasn’t sure that Beel experienced love or desire for anything that wasn’t food. But he did know that it definitely meant something that his younger brother willingly shared food with you and cooked for you.

As soon as Lucifer dismissed them from the breakfast table, Levi made a beeline for his room, itching to bury himself under a blanket to try and not thinking about the whirlwind of barbed thoughts running through his mind right now.

Leviathan himself, well...he is fairly sure that he does love you too, in some capacity. He knows for a fact that he cares for you deeply, that he’s fond of you, and that he finds himself wanting to share his special interests with you - but he’s also aware, somewhere in the back of his mind, that the way he feels about you is not the same way that his brothers feel about you. He’s painfully conscious of the fact that even when these tangle of emotions confuse him when he thinks on them too long that he’s not, not in love with you. At least, not like how Satan and Mammon are in love with you. And he doesn’t desire you either, not the way that Lucifer and Asmodeus desire you.

The inferiority that overcomes him whenever he acknowledges these thoughts, these feelings, that he can’t offer to you what his brothers can, yet selfishly desiring to spend every waking moment he could just enjoying your company...it makes him want to just curl up under his blankets, blocking out all the lights of his room, their lights brighter than usual in his heightened emotional distress, blocking out all the buzzing of his electronics with his headphones, just blocking out the world entirely, trying to block out his mind at the same time.

Why - despite his brothers constantly vying for your time, attention, and affections - do you continue to keep choosing him out of all them to spend all your time with?

“Levi? Are you in there?” you called from outside his bedroom door with a knock, “I wanted to watch the new TSL DVD with you, if you were still up for that?”

Levi groggily unfurled himself from his blanket nest, squinting at the brightness of his phone, faintly surprised that he had basically let himself pass the whole day away hiding under his blankets.

“I can go if you aren’t feeling well…”

Rubbing at his eyes, Levi pulled himself out of his tub-bed with a grimace, striding over and opening the door for you, before turning back and disappearing back into his room so he wouldn’t have to deal with the brightness of the hall lights, “I’ll set up the movie once I find it. You can set up the pillows.”

Entering his room, you were caught over by the big nest of blankets all heaped in the tub-bed already, and looking over at Leviathan, you could see his tail sticking out from the one blanket that was still wrapped about him like a hood, his tail flicking up and down rapidly. Levi was obviously really upset about something.

Pursing your lips, contemplating if you should just straight up give him a hug, or ask him what was wrong first, then give him the hug, you picked out the pillows that you know were Levi’s favorites and arranged the tub-bed to be as comfy as possible. Nodding in satisfaction, you turned to see Levi still rummaging through his stack of DVDs, head drooped and tail still flicking with irritation. He seemed as though he was lost in thought.

“Levi? Are you okay?”

He startled, dropping the DVDs he was holding and tipping over the whole stack. Feeling positively horrible that you startled him like that, you quickly rushed over to help him pick up the fallen DVDs.

“I’m fine, I’m just really tired,” he mumbled as he avoided eye-contact, picking up DVD after DVD quickly.

You sighed softly, gently putting a hand on his arm and stopping him, “You’re in your demon form, Levi. You morph into your demon form whenever you’re upset. ...can I give you a hug?”

He hesitated for a moment before he nodded, putting aside the DVDs onto his desk. You wrapped him up in a huge hug, patting his back gently, and Levi found himself relaxing into your tender embrace, resting his cheek against your head, exhaling long and slow. He already felt loads better.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“No, it’s...it’s fine. It’s...silly. I don’t want to bother you with - “

You squeezed him gently, tightening your arms around him, “Levi. You are never a bother to me. And your feelings are never, ever ‘silly.’ Okay? Your feelings are important, just like how you’re important. Okay? Now, talk to me, Levi. What’s wrong? Why’re you upset?”

Levi trembled at the utter anxiety clogging his throat up at just the mere thought of trying to express what he was feeling out loud, hiding his face in your hair as he held you close, “It’s..it’s, um…”

“You can take all the time you need,” you quietly encouraged him, rubbing a comforting hand up and down his back.

Shakily taking a breath, he tried again, “I, um...All my brothers...they’re in love with you. But I...I don’t love you. Ah, but that’s - ! That’s not - ! It’s, that’s, what I meant, is that, I don’t...I don’t love you the same way they do. I...I can't give you the same kind of love they would, so I don’t - I don’t understand why you...why keep choosing to spend all your time with...with someone like me…”

You stood quietly, letting his words wash over you as you processed what he was telling you. Pulling away from the hug with careful movements, you looked up at Levi to see he had his eyes anxiously squeezed shut, likely afraid of what your reaction would be to his words.

“Levi, look at me. Please,” you asked him, keeping your voice hushed, knowing how he became hyper sensitive when his emotions were high strung.

He hesitantly opened his eyes, looking down at you, heart near stopping at how you were looking at him with such...utter understanding.

You took his hands and sat him down in the nest of pillows and blankets you had set up in his tub-bed, plopping down next him.

“I keep choosing you to spend all my time with because I like you, Levi.”

Levi sat straight up, struggling against sinking into all the pillows, “But - !”

“I’m not interest in what your brothers have to offer me, either.”

“But I - “

You turned to look up at him, avoiding eye contact so that you wouldn’t make him uncomfortable with how distraught he already was, “I don’t return any of their feelings. And I don’t expect you to feel any differently for me than you already do. Have you aromanticism, Levi?”

He blinked, caught off guard by the question Levi shook his head.

“Aromanticism is when a person very rarely, or never, feels romantic attraction.”

Levi gaped at you, “That’s - that’s a real thing?!”

“It is,” you nodded, smiling fondly at him, “There’s an entire spectrum, for all the different ways a person experiences aromanticism.”

Levi slumped back into the pillows and blankets, sinking into them as he stared at the ceiling in wonderment, mulling over what you had just told him. He sat up suddenly, struggling to not sit back into the bed again,

“Wait! Are you aromantic?”

You nodded, smiling at him all the same, “Yeah. I am. I’m asexual too. Asexuality means that you rarely or never feel sexual attraction. There’s a whole spectrum to how people experience asexuality too.”

Leviathan stared at you, utterly wowed, trying to figure out how to say what he was feeling, inhaling sharply, “I - I think I might be aromantic and, and asexual…”

You grinned as you pulled him into another big hug and he returned the hug, and Levi found himself grinning too as he returned the hug, his tail rapidly thumping against the pillows all around the both of you, but this time it was because he was excited to learn this new thing you just told him about.

“...there’s nothing wrong with me,” Leviathan murmured, finally allowing himself to sink back into the pillows and blankets and stay there.

“There was nothing wrong with you to begin with,” you agree, sinking into the pillows and blankets beside him, feeling comfortable and safe in his arms.

“...but you know, I...I feel really deeply for you, but I do know that I don’t want to like, be your boyfriend or anything, but I, I do want to spend like - agh, I’m not making any sense, am I…?” he huffed, hiding his face into the pillows, frustrated with himself.

“No, I get it,” you reassured him, poking at him to try and get him to stop hiding, “Do you know what a queer platonic relationship is?”

Levi peeked up at you, face adorably scrunched up in confusion, “Huh? A what?”

“I’m guessing not,” you giggled, cuddling up close, “Let’s see...a QPR is something more intense than friendship, but isn’t exactly romantic. The lines between platonic feelings and romantic feelings can be blurred and it can be hard for both people involved to really understand how they feel about each other fully. They can include friendships and ambiguously-romantic relationships that go beyond friendship norms in emotional intensity, physical affection, or other areas. Some QPR partners get married. A QPR can look different for everyone, depending on what the people involved are comfortable with and how they feel for each other.”

Levi mouthed out a “wow,” thinking this over, “So what I feel…”

You squished his cheeks together playfully, giggling, “I understand what you feel entirely. In fact, I feel the same. You just learned a lot in a few minutes, but...I really like you, Levi. Would you want to be my queer platonic partner?”

He gaped at you, before laughing excitedly, nodding and pulling you into an even tighter hug, positively delighted. You returned the hug just as happily, resting your head on his shoulder. The two of you pulled back to smile at each other, the world feeling perfectly in balance at this new decision that the two of you made together.

That evening, the two of you thoroughly enjoyed the new TSL DVD together, cuddling under the light of the movie that played on Levi’s large flat screen television.

Likes and reblogs are loved and appreciated!

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animusicnerd · 1 year ago

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✨️

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animusicnerd · 2 years ago

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Hi! I heard about you from Ry-Ry’s recommendations! I’ve read some of your stuff and it seems really amazing! I’d like to have a piece of your work!

Could I have a Malleus and reader just watching the starry night skies, but Malleus is watching the stars in the reader’s eyes? I love him sm 💕💕 if not, completely understand! Don’t worry!

I’ll be reading your future posts! You have my support! 💕💕💕💕💕

(Main blog is @minimallyminnie, not this one by the way, in case I ever tag you in anything)

Stargazing (Malleus x Reader)

(A/N): I’m sorry it took so long to get to your request! I’m glad you like my writing!!! 🥰 Thank you for your support and mutual love for Malleus! I love him just as much, and your request inspired me greatly! I hope you enjoy!!

Reader is implied to be the player character/the prefect. Reader is written as someone who hasn’t had the chance to see the stars before.

“I must confess, sometimes I miss being able to see the stars while here at Night Raven College. As nocturnal fae make up the majority of the castle staff, there is little need for the halls to be lit at night. I often had a clear view of the stars from my bedroom window, when it wasn’t storming or cloudy.”

Malleus’s eyes were fixed on the sky above as you sat side by side on Ramshackle’s porch, your eyes fixed on his face as he spoke, hands just shy of touching each other. The two of you were weakly illuminated by the dim porch light, awake far beyond curfew. Malleus’s visits were always worth the cost of your sleep, in your opinion, though.

Tonight, he seemed wistful as he looked up at the sky.

“Do you feel homesick, when you look up at the sky?”

He smiles, a gentle tug of lips that you wouldn’t have noticed if you weren’t so focused on him.

“At times.” His eyes shift from the night sky as his head turns to meet your gaze. “Do you?”

You shake your head, thoughts scattering for a moment as he intertwines his fingers with yours.

“No. Even in another world, the sky is the same no matter where I go. It’s comforting, in a way, to be honest. But…”

Now you were the one looking up at the sky, cloudless and dark, faintly illuminated by the school building in the distance.

“I’ve never really had the chance to see the stars, actually. I’ve always lived in places with too many lights to see them.”

His lips parted for a moment as he blinked, his eyes turning to follow yours to look at the school building as he turned over that confession in his mind.

“I suppose as a diurnal species, the constant need for light during the night means that you cannot see the stars as you please.”

You nod, pulling your fingers from his just a bit to idly play with his hand.

“It’s kinda a shame, honestly. I guess it can’t be helped, but…I’d love to be able to see them one day.” You slot your hands back together, eyes glancing up to meet his for a moment before glancing away again just as quickly. “Especially the view in Briar Valley.”

Malleus gives your hand a gentle squeeze, his eyes seeming to glow as he gives you another smile. “You need only say when.”

The two of you lapsed into a content silence, pressing shoulder to shoulder as you both returned to looking up at the blank night sky, your joined hands a warm anchor in this dream-like bubble.

“Hm…would you join me, to some place further than our usual walk?” You look up at him, question dying on your tongue when faced with Malleus leaning into your space much closer than was good for your heart, his eyes aglow with excitement. “I know of a place here, with a clear view of the stars. I can take us right now, if you’d like.”

You had to take a moment to swallow, struggling to remember how to turn your thoughts into coherent speech. In the end, you can only manage a nod, ready to to stand, when Malleus grins and withdraws his hand from yours to quickly wrap his arm around your waist, tugging you close into his side. His murmuring into your ear to close your eyes is the only warning you get before his magic flashes and you feel weightless, Malleus’s arms around you the only support you have. You slowly open your eyes tentatively when you feel his feet settle on the ground just as the smell of the ocean hits your nose, and you can’t help the gasp that escapes you as you take in the sight before you.

“It’s beautiful, Malleus!” you whisper, leaning against him in your attempt to take in everything. To talk any louder would feel as though it would shatter this private moment with him.

Before you lay a blanket of stars, brightly indistinct like fluffy clouds of blue and purple, white and pink. They were so brilliantly plentiful that they were as though a master painter had created his magnum opus, a painting that one would never tire of looking at. You had no idea the night sky could be so colorful, or that the ocean waves and sandy shore could glitter like this under the glow of the moon and stars.

“It is,” he agreed, but his response came distractedly late. His eyes were much too focused on observing the stars that were reflected in your eyes as you looked up at them with open awe, a quiet smile on his face. He would have never thought he’d find a view he loved even more than looking up at the stars back home, before he met you.

“You saw skies like this all the time back home, huh?”

He hummed in another distracted response to your question. Curious to see if he was as in awe of the stars as you were, you turned your face to look at him, only to find his eyes already meeting yours. The surprise left you breathless.

“It’s a sight I’ll never tire of,” he says, the words so quiet that they would’ve been stolen by the sound of the waves cresting upon the shore if he hadn’t been holding you so close.

His eyes continued to remain fixed on yours.

Your lips part, an attempt to form a response, thoughts scattered and trying to not be further distracted by the way his eyes followed the movement of your lips.

“Can…” you hide your face against his shoulder, hiding from his tender gaze. “...can we come and watch the stars again soon? Just the two of us?”

The corners of his eyes crinkle in delight, nudging you with his shoulder to look up at him. As soon as you peeked at him, face warm with embarrassment, he took the opportunity to quickly press a kiss to your forehead.

“I’d love nothing more.”

(A/N): Once again, sorry it took so long! I hope you enjoyed it! :)

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