anochefue

[anochefue]

lets write 07/17/23

i feel trapped

like i'm walking on eggshells

trapped into you

and your idea of me

what i should be, yours

understanding how ur pain is associated with your emotions

how ur chronic pain is triggered by my request for our depart

watching you in agony over my words

needing a medicine to the cruelty of your body's pains

hearing you also feel trapped

i don't blame you, i understand it's how your body responds to stress. something painful in your past still hurting you today

i want to say all of these things but i know where it will lead, your pain chronically spreading all over you and i can do anything to help you

it won't be easy to leave you when i do.. honestly. im exhausted thinking about it.

i'm not sure what i've gotten myself into

lured me in

but it's brought me back here to a paper and pen (keyboard)

it's always men who get me here

i'm not ready for a commitment yet

yet, i ponder about the what if

what if we made it work and im happy

what if we made it work and im unhappy

what if this isnt my free will

what if i'm trapped

after fighting so hard to not be

after all the work i've done on me

just to be trapped

you and me