anonymousbloggergal

[anonymousbloggergal]

I can’t believe I’m back here. And I can’t believe how much life has changed.

Since my last post I have:

-Finished my PGCE

-Spent a year working as a TA in a school

-Took a solo trip to Walt Disney World (what a magical place. I will be back)

-Moved to Kuwait to teach!!!!

-Started my ECT induction as an EYFS teacher abroad

-Caught Covid for the second Christmas in a row

So after deciding teaching ‘wasn’t for me’ I fell back in love with it during my TA’s job. Which I’m thankful for. I love my job now and I love my kiddos even more.

I just wanted to pop on here and update anyone who reads this blog. It’s mainly just a place for me to vent or write down my feelings.

At the moment I’m feeling very emotional, probably because it’s the new year. I want 2023 to be the making of me. I want to keep losing weight, get my mental health sorted, make some new friends and keep them. Most importantly I want to travel more! See the world as much as possible. Hopefully I can do all that alongside being just healthier and happier in general.

Happy new year to each and every one of you.

Peace&love - A x

31.12.22

[anonymousbloggergal]

Hi Tumblr,

Long time, no see huh? That’s because my life has been very busy lately.

First things first, I’ve decided teaching isn’t for me. I want to work with children and young people still, focusing on their well-being instead.

I’ve also had blood tests done to see if I have a horemone imbalance which I don’t, so I’m making an appointment with my doctor about why my emotions are all over the place next week.

I’m very nearly finished with uni and honestly I cannot wait. It’s been a hard yeah. With Covid, losing my grandad, my grandma moving in and all her health issues I feel like I’ve been dragged along a road by a car going 40mph. What a visual, hey?

Anyway, I guess I just wanted to say I’m feeling deflated today. Especially since my dad told me that my PGCE graduation isn’t a proper one compared to my undergraduate degree. That hurt more than I’d care to admit.

I hope you’re all keeping well.

Peace&love - A x

15.05.21

[anonymousbloggergal]

Hi it’s me again. Long time no speak, right?

Truth be told this last week has been a bit shit. I’ve been on my period and emotional/irrational af. I’ve got a doctors appoitment tomorrow though so hopefully we’re starting the journey to getting that sorted.

I’m teaching a couple of lessons this week and I’m kinda nervous about it. I’m starting maths tomorrow, on my own, with a lower ability group. Maths terrifies me. It was my worst subject in school. I’m trying to develop my subject knowledge but it’s hard with so much else going on in school.

Grandma is still with us, but she’s getting worse as the days go on. It’s sad and it’s scary. We’re hoping for a diagnosis soon though. 🤞🏼

I really don’t think there is much more to write on here honestly. Whilst the past week has been tough, not much has happened aside from my mini mental breakdowns.

I’m kind of doubting whether or not teaching is for me, because if it’s not, where do I go from here? It’s terrifying.

Stay safe out there.

Peace&love - A x

[anonymousbloggergal]

Hi - I feel like I need to write that my name actually starts with an A, I'm not trying to be edgy by using the iconic 'A' from Pretty Little Liars (iykyk).

Anyway, yesterday was better. I adulted by booking a dentist appoitment, booking a doctors appointment (for my hormones). And I was able to have a productive day despite being woken up at 4:30am by my grandma (I stayed up as I couldn't get back to sleep).

As I write this now I have tears in my eyes. I was woken up at 4am by my grandma, was able to get back asleep but then was woken up again at around 6:30am so that she could go downstairs (something she can't do alone as it's unsafe for her to do so). I'm honestly exhausted. I've been woken up for the last 3 nights on the bounce at around 4:30am and then have been woken up two hours later and starting my day then as I've not been able to get back asleep. Lack of sleep and long working days have taken a toll and I'm not left in a bit of a pit.

There has been talks of getting a lock on my bedroom door however I'm not sure it'll work as I feel my grandma may hurt herself by trying to get the door to open (she won't realise it's locked).

We'll see how it goes. I'm hoping occupational therapy will be out to offer some support sooner rather than later as at the moment we're all finding this a bit of a big adjustment and I resemble a zombie 💀.

Peace&love - A x

18.04.21

[anonymousbloggergal]

3 posts in 1 day means I'm eager to start this journey, so let's get to it.

✨Rainbow ramblings✨

Today was a bit of a crazy day. As I'm writing this its 9:26pm BST and my neighbour is hoovering her house. This. Annoys. Me. So. Much. She has alllll day to hoover (vacuum if you're American) and she chooses NOW to do it. Anyway...

Today my grandma moved in with us. We recently lost my grandad in November 2020 and she hasn't been herself since. She's currently under assessment for dementia, which we all think she's got; her memory has been kinda spiralling for a while. I don't have the best relationship with her and I don't really like change, so this has been a bit much for me. Some could say it's selfish of me to think like this but idc. I love my grandma don't get me wrong, I just don't always like her.

It's been this way since I was 16. But that's another story. I find it really hard to see anyone in any kind of discomfort, pain or struggle as I'm too emotionally involved with eveyone in my life. I'm sensitive, take things so personally and I'm a real people pleaser. It's because of these three things combined that I believe I am too emotionally involved in everything.

Today I have cried over my grandma staying with us, I find it really hard to see her so confused and out of sorts. That and the fact she keeps calling my dad by my grandads name and asking where my grandad is. I'm emotionally drained. And I'm tired. She got up at 2:30am to go the bathroom and accidentally walked into my room and my little sisters room. Luckily my little sister was flat out, but I'm a light sleeper, so I woke up. I helped her go the bathroom and get back in bed before returning to my own room, but sadly couldn't fall back asleep for a good while. This will be part of the reason I am so emotional today; because I'm tired. That and the fact I'm due on and some months my hormones are all over the place (I really must see my doctor about that).

It's also the Easter holidays over here so I have had a ton of uni work to do, which always stresses me out. I wish someone would've slapped me over the head and told me 'no' when I decided to do a PGCE. Especially during a pandemic. Today I spent my day procrastinating, creating my teaching CV (it sucks I'm sure of it) and writing a personal statement for an NQT talent pool and I'll be honest that was shit too. I'm going to have to re-look at it tomorrow and fix it. Then sort out my lesson plans as some adjustments need making. And complete my Computing ESKA for my electronic portfolio. All whilst trying to help my dad with my grandma.

I'm gonna need chocolate.

I want to make it clear I'm not trying to be like 'oh woe is me, my life is shit'. I'm struggling rn and just need somewhere to write this all down.

Anyway I'm going to bed now. I'm shattered. Tomorrow will be a better, more productive day, I'm 90% sure of it.

Peace&love - A x

07.04.21

[anonymousbloggergal]

Welcome to my universe...

Let's start with some facts about me;

1) I'm 24 nearly 25

2) I'm a girl

3) I'm from the UK

4) I definitely have an undiagnosed hormone inbalance (especially around 'that time of the month' if you know what I mean ladies)

5) I've never done anything like this before but just want to get my thoughts and feelings down somewhere

6) I've got an undergraduate degree in media and I'm currently near the end of my post-graduate teacher training (eek!)

7) I use ! far too often when writing emails to people to try and sound enthusiastic

8) Humour and crying are my copying mechanisms

9) I love chcolate (I'm probably addicted)

10) Niall Horan is my fave person on the planet (✨swoon✨)

Anyway, now that we're somewhat acquainted, I can now properly unload my emotions onto this blog knowing that someone out there knows a little more about me.

Stay safe.

Peace&love - A x

[anonymousbloggergal]

It's funny because I've had this account (under a different name) for years but haven't really used it properly; which is why this picture seems perfect to welcome me back to tumblr.

I've found myself feeling so all-over-the-place recently and really just want a place to put down my thoughts and feelings. I'm not looking for followers or reblogs or whatever it is people do on tumblr, just a space to express myself I guess?? And if anyone out there reads these and feels less alone, then that's a bonus.

First blog post to follow shortly as today has been one hell of a day. I'm back bitches. - A x