anophtopia-town-hall

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Dated: 27.01.2023 - A Message From the Mayor’s Office

After considerate meetings with the town council, as well as the official mayoral electees, we have decided to go ahead with our Casino Night. It is an important tradition in Anophtopia history, and our volunteers and hard-workers have been giving their all in making it a magical night.

In terms of the recent hacking scandals, whilst there hasn’t been official statements from our electees, we are ensuring that all of them or their families will not be attending the fundraiser evening, as a sign of respect to what we stand for in Anophtopia.

Thank you all for understanding,

- Anophtopia Town Council

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SCANDAL, SEX AND SUSPICIOUS DEBTS – THE TRUTH COMES OUT

There is only one debate we care about at the moment, and that is who is the most debauched in the race to be mayor of our beloved town. Whilst we know everyone is guilty of some skeletons in our closets, nothing can be compared to what these so-called politics are hiding from us.

We have received an anonymous tip-off providing all the evidence we need to show you the real mayoral candidates, who up until now have been effectively pulling the wool over our eyes with their big promises and bright, commercial worthy smiles. This is who we’re trusting to keep our town safe, Anophtopia:

Fundamentals: The ABC’s – Allegations, Bribes and Collusion

Attorney at Law and Senior Councilman Simon Lane has been revealed to be a true wolf in sheep’s clothing. Lane, an Anophtopia native, has always given his platform to voices otherwise ignored. He vocally rallied for gay marriage, equal pay, and other important social justice matters. However, in an email leak received this evening, we can reveal that Lane can talk the talk, but does not walk with Pride. Not only have reports been exposed that he has been voting against his own propositions in council meetings, including an increase in a budget for LGBTQ+ spaces in town, but has actively donated to charities that do not support beliefs he claimed to in the past. To make matters worse, a few lost files on his recent cases have been recovered, only to expose his alleged collusion in a court of law. These are obviously serious claims against Mr. Lane, but as printed below, we have apparent proof of these statements against his character.

Hush Little Baby Don’t You Cry, Mommy’s Gonna Buy You an Ivy League

Our current mayor is not as clean cut as she has made out to be in last year’s campaign either. Though she at least stands for what she believes in, both in and out of council meetings, Deborah Gibson is not afraid to engage in some bribery of her own. Accepting bribes to grant impossible wish fulfilment schemes for council members, and bribing the top schools for her kids, including an email documenting a ten year plan for when her eldest gets to college, a certain Yale University willing to accept them when the time comes. Talk about early admission. Of course, it is strange her opponent of last year hadn’t used this against her, but, of course, we don’t tend to dig up dirt without risk of dirt spilling everywhere…

Leave Me A Loan

A lot of complaints from Michael Proctor’s tenure as mayor was simply him not fulfilling the promises he made, which was always excused as simply not having enough room in the budget. But why was that Mr. Ex-Mayor? Perhaps the receipt the leak provided, could answer that. Like with dirty clothes needing a wash, money needs laundered too, right? Money that could have vastly improved our town gone towards cars, vacations and a pesky little drug habit. Not surprising from a man who infamously backed That notable president.

Affairs of the Bank Account

Though notably not a family-focused candidate, as obvious from her business empire, it seems that Evelyn Chao is not as focused on morals either. The woman, consider The Lady of all of the ladies of the night, may have been in an happy marriage with her late husband until his death, but the relationship, as shared in the leak, may have been more of a fiscal benefit than physical. Flirty texts and photos have showcased Evelyn the star of an affair to remember, her inheritance from her deceased husband keeping her gilded the past five years. Of course, as far as we know, there’s been no political scandal up Evelyn’s well-jeweled sleeve, but the company she keeps isn’t exactly helping with forming a wholesome image in the eyes of our humble town.

Age is Just a Number

Surprise candidate Catalina Marquois also has a couple of secrets she’d like to keep secret. Whilst she was open about her first, tragic marriage and her now-strained relationship with her son, it turns out there’s some things she never wanted public. Like the records of her real ID, which report she is actually four years older than she previously declared. It seems like honesty isn’t the policy with the mayoral candidates of this town, and this cougar’s last marriage probably leaves a sour taste in the family’s mouths, as after all, the Ritchies are all about good, old fashioned values. Right, Martin?

Springtime for Ritchie

Of course, old fashioned values we’re referring to don’t include anytime from World War One to Vietnam, but Martin Ritchie, descendant of one of the oldest founding families, seems to not be as much as a pacifist as he previously demonstrated, with records showing he has been funding weapons for years, apparently a tradition his grandfather began in the 1940’s. Of course, he doesn’t believe in benefiting from war, unless it’s to claim his stake in fracking, one of the biggest financial benefits to the Ritchie Corporation and family.

Speaking of the beloved family, what is the dark secret emails and texts seem to mention in the leak? Unfortunately for us, but good for War Criminal Martin, a lot of the documents associated with such a situation have been redacted to hell and back. We could only what it would be – keeping it in the family, in every type of way? The way old, old families tend to? Or, perhaps, ownership of a plantation, much like fellow founding family O’Keefe, where we know the two family trees intertwined at some point.

A Town Called Menance (and Full of Secrecy...)

Though it’s not just the Ritchie family under suspicion for hiding their families and assumed less than stellar pasts. Long-time friend and advocate of Ritchie, and his political endeavours, Gwen Myers, seems to be playing house in our picturesque town. The leak revealed, through a data mining spam email masquerading as a survey, that just before arriving in town and enrolling at Anophtopia University, Gwendolyn Hall was actually Annabelle Halliday, hailing from Oregon to our lovely town. Now, it is of course, not suspicious for a young woman to change her name and moving out of her home state, but the past texts and emails regarding a mysterious “R” and a failed engagement do pique our interest. Is perhaps her closeness with the Ritchie family due to them helping her clean her image up?

Of course, our other founding families aren’t exempt in this exposing report. As shown in a series of emails involving a family lawyer, our friends the Bass family, known for their shipping company expanding across the state, in fact lied in their public statement a few years back about their darling Emily moving to Washington to pursue a career in politics. Emily is actually right here in town, pursuing the stars and the spirits, under her preferred name Emerald Moonlight. I guess not every rich kid is a nepo baby.

Speaking of nepo babies though, Aurelia Florez being the black sheep of her influential one isn’t exactly a surprise. What is though, is news of her arrest not too long ago? All charges were dropped, obviously, but we’re surprised that such old-school parents of hers are letting her take charge of their flagship hotel, unless the Florez’s are making extra money in the drug distribution business as well as hospitality.

And hospitality and drugs do go so well, such a perfect pairing, like a merlot with a steak. Ezra Anders obviously know what we mean, as he himself is reported to have declared bankruptcy on Vino Restaurante due to the fact he and his team of well-skilled chefs have a little fascination with snowy weather. It makes you wonder why the upmarket Italian is so, so addictive, right? However, despite the claim, he retracted the filing after seemingly finding the money he was looking for. It makes you wonder how dangerous the life of a chef can be.

We are sure more secrets of the Anophtopia public have been spilled, and we are sure they have badly affected the community, but we knew that the secrets involving our most elite members benefitting the most from the mayoral election needed to be out and exposed to the town. Though some seem petty and frivolous, you need to ask yourselves the question: why did they hide it?

And they may give their excuses and reasons, but we deserve the truth, and they need to give it to us.

By James Collins

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Anophtopia Council and the Anophtopia Historical Society present

CASINO NIGHT 2023

Since the founding of Anophtopia, the Anophtopia Charity fundraiser has always been held on the last Saturday of January. The event, hosting from carnivals, to galas, to fetes, has always been with the future of Anophtopia in mind. To fund the schools, the societies, to make sure local businesses have support, the Council invites its friends from all across the globe to join us in celebrating the town, and securing its legacy.

The amazing themes have always been the talk of the town for weeks to follow, and whilst 2022′s Black and White ball was certainly impressive, we will take a gamble on the popularity of Casino Night.

With various tables, including Roulette, Poker and more, there’s plenty of fun to be had. Dress in your best Rat Pack inspired garb, order your martini’s shaken not stirred, and put it all on red for the best night of your life! There will also be live entertainment from our insanely talented Anophtopia locals and, of course, the annual lottery to give 3 lucky people tickets for free!

Ticket packages begin at $100, with the basic package covering entrance fee, a welcome drink and a three course meal, with the VIP ticket of $1000 covering bottomless champagne for the full evening, a five course meal, and luxury suites for the night in the Florez Hotel (with additional costs for upgrades).

Jobs are also available for this event. Please see below for the application information.

Dress Code: Formal attire, black tie

When: 28th January 2023, 7pm

Location: Florez Hotel Ballroom

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THE ANNUAL ANOPHTOPIA CHARITY BALL

Happy January folks! It’s once again time to announce the most exciting occasion of the year is almost here! Following last year’s success of the BLACK AND WHITE BALL theme, we hope to make it even bigger with our 2023 theme!

As always, the charity ball, hosted by the Anophtopia Council in association with the Anophtopia Historical Society, is to raise money for various funds and schemes for our beloved town. With friends flying in from all over the world, each year we make it a night they can never forget. Keep your eyes peeled in the next coming days for the announcement on theme...

Please note, the Job Site will be posting hires needed for the event, including wait-staff, security, and site coordinators so for those wanting to work the event, please keep an eye out!

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Happy Hanukkah! 

18th December - 26th December 

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FOUNDERS WEEK IS UPON US

Founders Day, held on the 21st September every year, is an important day for our community. Not only do we show our respect and love for such a gorgeous town, we truly come together as a community, as the intention from our founders when it was first built in 1802. Ever year, we like to host a week-long festival in honour of our founders, and the beautiful history that makes Anophtopia the town it is today.

The 18th will be the opening of the festival, held in the Town Hall and Square, via a ceremonial ribbon cutting ceremony by our current mayor, Debra Gibson. There will be a selection of booths and stalls promoting our local companies and their craft, as well as a selection of fairground rides from a nearby festival company. 

The 21st, Founders Day, will kick off with a spellbounding performance from the senior members of the Anophtopia Amateur Operatic Society, who will be recreating the story of how our town grew and cultivated the love and community it has today.

The 22nd will also be hosting the first round of the Mayoral Candidate Debates, following the month long promotional campaign our six lucky candidates have participated in this summer. Please make sure you are at the Town Hall at 6pm for this, hosted by acting moderator and Anophtopia Times journalist, Martha Clawe. 

On the 23rd, schools and select businesses will be closed, for the annual Founders Parade. Floats participating include our mayor, the generous Ritchie and Florez families, the Anophtopia Amateur Operatic Society, the Anophtopia Historical Society, and various of our small businesses and societies. 

If you are still wanting a float for the parade, please contact the council at your earliest convenience. 

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Remember, it’s the Annual Anophtopia High School Charity Fundraiser this month! 

As a new school year begins, we urge our citizens of our gorgeous town to donate what they can to help the students at Anophtopia High who need it most. From clothing, to school supplies, and even contributions to extracurricular clubs, every little helps.

This year, the school will be hosting a small student-run auction to help raise money for the Senior Trip to Williamsburg, VA, to help cover transport, hotel, and funds for students who cannot afford it themselves. The auction is asking for additional donations; from anything from clothing, to baked goods, or even a skill-building lesson in music or painting! The auction will be held at the Anophtopia High Auditorium on the 16th September 2022 at 2pm. 

Donations for both the school in general as well as the auction will be open to acceptance from the 9th September 2022, 9am. Please drop all items off at the main office.

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(Delivered in the mail for the following people):

@anophtopiawrites

Evelyn Chao plus One

Martha Clawe (NPC) plus One

James Collins plus One

Aubrey Duncan plus One

Rufus Dunbar and Maisie Dunbar (NPC)

Austin Duncan

Gaspard Duval (NPC) plus One

Marlow von Eynern plus One

Mr and Mrs Florez (NPC)

Aurelia Florez plus One

Scarlett Florez

Debra Gibson (NPC) plus One

Dominic Hollins plus One

Simon Lane (NPC) plus One

Theodore Lavigne

Sajan Mahato

Catalina Marquois plus One

Diego Morales

Anthony Myers and Gwen Myers

Michael Proctor (NPC) plus One

Helene Ricardo and Isla Robinson-Reed

Cheryl, Roy, Juliette etc. Ritchie (NPC)

Alexis St. James plus One

Monique Walton (NPC) plus One

Any NPCs with a Plus One means that any muses not on the “list” per se can be their plus one if you want muses who aren’t on the list joining in :)

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We are delighted to announce the Cast for our amazing production, and to thank everyone who auditioned!...

JUDY BERNLEY .......... MAYA CASTILLO

VIOLET NEWSTEAD .......... VALENTINA RAMIREZ

DORALEE RHODES .......... MARLOW VON EYNERN

FRANKLIN HART JR. .......... RORY FLANAGAN

ROZ KEITH .......... AURELIA FLOREZ

MARGARET .......... ELENA SANCHEZ

DWAYNE RHODES .......... RHETT PARKER

MARIA DELGADO .......... ISLA ROBINSON-REED

KATHY .......... OLIVIA COLE

JOE .......... CONNOR BROWN

MISSY HART .......... CHERRY RITCHIE

JOSH NEWSTEAD .......... THEODORE LAVIGNE

DICK BERNLEY .......... RAY FABELLO

RUSSELL TINSWORTHY  .......... AUBREY DUNCAN

We also like to thank AVYAAN NARAYAN for volunteering in helping out our director and producer, and to the staff of INSPIRE MAGAZINE for loaning a hand out for our costumes and makeup. 

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Introducing the runners for this year’s mayoral campaign

Current Mayor Deborah Gibson

Former Mayor and Councilman Michael Proctor

Business Owner Evelyn Chao

Senior Councilman and retired Attorney at Law Simon Lane

Chief Volunteer Catalina Marquois

Councilman and Business Tycoon Martin Ritchie

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