anxirinrin

[anxirinrin]

When I was 17 my appendix ruptured because I thought I was just having period cramps and didn’t go to the hospital so don’t tell me PMS symptoms are no big deal

[anxirinrin]

Twitter stans in general are fcking annoying but the anime one... no comment

Yall really would have jumped on anyone who would criticize the new animation in haikyuu and now that the second part is out and some scenes are really fcking ugly yall are having a seizure 💀💀💀

[anxirinrin]

Lmaooi evil lord kenma really is canon

Ive come to the rrealization that Kenma's a sadistic little shit

[anxirinrin]

Awful things ive been told by X so i will never forget bc X sure did

TW: Some stuff are really awful like rape mention and slut shaming and might trigger some people i just needed somewhere to vent

-for my sister's birthday, x made some fries and cream sauce with mushroom (my favorite). I was hungry and everyone kept talking and talking so i snuck out to the kitchen and stole some fries with sauce to put in a sandwich. Turns out they forgot (like every adults) to go grocery shopping and basically i took too much sauce and there was no cream to make some more so i got screamed at bc i was fat and i ate too much and that i should lose all that weight bc otherwise i would get raped by all the boys in highschool with the huge ass i had :). Tbh i still to this day dont understand how did we run out of cream bc rn even tho idont have a car or a driving license i sure damn well go on shopping spree by walking. Unless it was on a sunday and they forgot. Anywaaay

-I actually thought that i was exaggerating that one time but she actually said it again (in front of my sister this time but she sure will never act like she was here) when i told her might not pass my 3rd year of mechanical engineering and that i will probably redo and she told me i better not bc she wants me to stop taking the subway as soon as possible and if i redo a year it will be one more year where ill need to take the subway and if i get raped in the subway it will be my own fault for failing a year and putting myself in danger for one unnecessary year.

-When i had a free semester (i failed my second year lets just say i was still pretty shaken by my dad's death) i wanted to take a job she didnt want me to but she wanted me to take care of the website of her shop. I said i didnt want to bc (she literally asked "would u like to do it???" So i said no) .. i didnt want to deal with her crusty ass annoying clients and running a fb page really isnt my thing so my older sister took care of it. However an order got lost bc it was made on a post in a fb group which deleted our post hence deleting the comments and the order with it. My sister didnt understand what waa going on and then tried to explain to mum and then my mum screamed at her that we basically were making fun of her and taking advantage of the fact she didnt know how to use technology (she is a fb addict she uses it more often in a week than i did for the past 7 years). Anyway my sister got mad cried in her car and while she wasnt here my mum screamed at me telling me everything was my fault bc i refuses to take care of her fb page and that my sister had better things in her life and at work than doing this and that one day something real bad was going to happen to my sister if she gets this upset one more time bc she is asthmatic (and get asthma crisis when she is upset) and that it would be my fault.

-also like a week after my dad died she made a personal mission to tell me daily that in the religious fb group she is someone told her that someone brutally/suddenly dying like my dad was a warning that happen when someone in the house doesnt pray (like me and my sister but somehow im the only one who got this kind of reminder).

-in the same time she like cornered me in the bathroom and she was really depresses after my dad died and i was too and she would end up crying on my shoulder telling me to get fit, study and pray (idk if that was supposed to be an encouragement but it sure was ill-timed 💀)

-when i was in middle school she was CONSTANTLY comparing me to 2 other girls bc they were thing and had good grades (not as good as mine but anyway) the thing that kills me is that both of these girls were bitchy (each in their own way) and she knew it first hand but still she would rather have a slim bitch (as a mean person) of daughter rather than a fat normal one.

-on top of that she would regularly hide the key of the kitchen so i would not eat between my meals which is not the bad thing in this point. She also would never allow me to wear knee-lenght dresses or short (i was allowed to shave anyway soo) for middle to high school all of this while bragging abt the miniskirt she used to wear when she was thirteen. When i talked abt it my sister she was like " but u know mum is not all that picky about clothes she would let u wear anything you want if u were not fat". Again thats not the worst thing yet. The worst thing is when YEARS later we talked abt how/in what way/when did each one of us put on weight and when it came to my turn she went like "no u u were not fat in school it all started when u entered uni" like what??? What????? U called me a cow when i was in middle school and when i hid to cry abt u ran after me and screamed "why are u crying? Just loose some weight!" hysterically and a of this but suddenly u turn around and act like u never thought i was fat????? "We have picture of you this age u were not fat" yeah exactly i wasnt but u don't get to say it bc it will erase all the shit u did. Suddenly i become the crazy one bc if i wasnt fat yet then there was no reason for you to do all of this so obviously i must be imagining things and lying 💀💀💀💀

[anxirinrin]

Honestly lets normalize age in bios and make it a permanent thing it will make everything so easy

[anxirinrin]

Just a reminder that I’m an Adult™ and if that makes you feel uncomfortable feel free to:

unfollow me

ask me to unfollow you

block me

I won’t get mad or anything. It’s important to make sure you feel comfortable and secure.

[anxirinrin]

Honestly ive come to the realization that i will never be able to do what i want to. I cant disobey bc im still being fed and live here, i cant leave bc i dont have any money whatsoever and even if i manage to gain money and leave ill be way to old to do the shit i would like to be doing rn like lets be realistic?? A 30 yrs old security engineer wearing high ponytails and platforms shoes, cosplaying on the weekend and doing all the shit she couldnt do as a teenager/young adult ?? It sounds ridiculous honestly im already bad at whatever the fck im doing i dont need to make my credibility weaker than it already is with how much i suck at studying.

So i guess i will find a way to work close to home and at some point she will start asking if im dating (when i can barely make connections with ppl i LIVE with what a fcking joke) and push some algerian doctor she will find somewhere to push her single good for nothing daughter to date

[anxirinrin]

[anxirinrin]

Ive come to the rrealization that Kenma's a sadistic little shit

[anxirinrin]

THIS WAS SO ORGASMIC OH MY GOD IVE BEEN WAITING FOR MORE THAN 30 CHAPTERS FOR THIS DPUCHEBAG TO GET KNOCKED OFF

Fcking FINALLY

[anxirinrin]

DEAR LORD HE IS SO FCKING CUTE I WILL MYSELF TO SLEEP HOLY SHIT DIBXKWSUUAJQ

[anxirinrin]

There is an easy solution to end all of these problems but im way too much of a coward to actually do it

[anxirinrin]

working full time is terrible why do we just accept that having 8 days off a month is normal and okay........ being alive could be cool but we waste it at our JOBS.... sorry i’m just heated about capitalism again i’ll be fine

[anxirinrin]

Im way to old to do any of the things i like now this is depressing

[anxirinrin]

How many years? How many more years im just so fcking tired end it all

[anxirinrin]

God i hate myself

[anxirinrin]

Lmao me not wanting to hear something insulting and useless makes me a sensitive close minded person stuck in my bubble????

The shit i have to deal with in this fucking house istg