archfeyfrumpkin

[archfeyfrumpkin]

with each new promo still that comes out i lose my mind a little more i will be INSUFFERABLE when november 19 rolls around

[archfeyfrumpkin]

I forgot I made these badge ribbons back in april/may to give away as a con purchase bonus, and I have a lot extra that I had been concerned about because the joke is so topical that what if they become outdated and tariffs are no longer an issue by the next time I attend a ribbon con. which was wildly optimistic of me

unfortunately right now is also the funniest time to own this ribbon and a few people requested them, so I made them available to purchase (it's on ko-fi rather than my big cartel shop because then I can send these via untracked letter shipping for cheap)

[archfeyfrumpkin]

Five Batches of Deep Fried Peppers

For Lucanis Week - Day 5 (500 words)

🌶️🌶️🌶️🌶️🌶️

It's 4 AM and Lucanis is frying his fourth batch of peppers.

Whether sleep eluded him or he eluded sleep, it doesn't matter. He left the pantry with vague plans for the chickpea flour he bought at the market this morning—yesterday morning, he supposes, technically. Some panelle, perhaps. Or something lighter, with bicarbonato to make the dough puff…

Then Taash wandered in, drawn by the scent of oil warming on the stove, and asked if he was frying peppers. Saying yes was easier than asking what was keeping them up this late. They would talk about it if they wanted to.

So Lucanis adapted, adding chili powder and turmeric to the batter, chopping coriander with the parsley. Flavors he knows Taash appreciates.

After the first batch, Taash suggested more heat, and Lucanis adjusted the spices accordingly. The second batch was deemed perfect. The third batch was supposed to be for everyone else to share whenever they woke up, but Taash ate those, too.

So. Batch number four.

"How do you know how to do all this?" Taash asks. They're sitting at the dining table with their legs propped up in another chair and their arms crossed, an empty plate in their lap.

"How to cook, you mean?"

Lucanis dredges the peppers through the batter.

"Yeah. Do you have all these recipes memorized? Do you just wing it?"

"I suppose you could say I've learned enough of the basics to be able to experiment with some confidence."

"But how do you know it'll taste good?"

"I know what I like."

"But how do you convince other people that you know it's good?" they ask with a tinge of frustration.

Lucanis drops the peppers into the simmering oil, one by one, and nudges them gently with a long wooden spoon.

"This isn't actually about cooking, is it?"

"The whole non-binary thing," Taash confirms with a grunt, their arms hugging closer around themself. "I try to explain it, but I don't know if people get it. How do you explain not being something?"

"I'm not…" Lucanis stops, then starts again. "I didn't think I was interested in sex, for a long time. I'm still not, usually." When Taash doesn't interrupt, he turns to face them fully. "Other people seem to think an absence of desire should feel like nothing, like an empty space, but it doesn't. There is no empty space inside of me. Nothing is missing. I know that's true like I know how to breathe."

Their grip on their arms loosens, bit by bit, as Lucanis speaks, and their scowl softens.

"Yeah," they agree. "But how do you make other people get it?"

"You tell them it's like breathing."

They blink at him, and take a deep breath. They nod.

"Is there a word for not being interested in sex?"

"If there is, I don't know it."

"Rook is interested in sex. With you."

Lucanis drops the spoon.

"Oh, and the peppers are burning."

"Mierda!"

He whirls to face the stove, but it's too late. The batter has darkened from golden brown to a dark, crispy black.

"You're gonna make another batch, right?"

[archfeyfrumpkin]

there are so NEEDY

[archfeyfrumpkin]

The OP's pronouns are they/he.

[archfeyfrumpkin]

Signed up to help with bird banding locally 💪 gonna get to grisp some critters

[archfeyfrumpkin]

God Bless people who dress wild and go out in public. I love seeing a woman in all pink with pink hair and pink nails, with a tiny dog in a pink outfit in her bag. Or a massively goth dude covered in piercings sporting a giant green mohawk. Cosplayers. SCA reenactors. Ren Faire people. There’s nothing I love more than a pair of handsome young men walking around in Revolutionary War outfits. Just please keep dressing wild and freaky. You bring color to life, and it never fails to put a big smile on my face.

[archfeyfrumpkin]

[archfeyfrumpkin]

I ate a babybel cheese wheel in from of him

[archfeyfrumpkin]

i fucking love freezing things. coconut milk? CUBED. rice? GET FUCKIN CUBED. lentils? FUKEN CUBED. any kind of fruit or wegetable? ROCK SOLID AND BAGGED. i fUCKING LOVE MY FREEZER!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[archfeyfrumpkin]

HAPPY 1st BIRTHDAY to

LUCKLING DUCKLING

[archfeyfrumpkin]

I think when you correctly identify a trauma that is the base of a woe of yours it should just disappear. It should be like "aaahh. you got me" and vanish and leave 100 dollars behind

[archfeyfrumpkin]

despite, despite, despite!!

[archfeyfrumpkin]

despite, despite, despite!!

[archfeyfrumpkin]

IMASFHSJHSGJFHK 😭

[archfeyfrumpkin]

Mirko Hanák (Czech ,1921-1971)

[archfeyfrumpkin]

well, well. you thought it would be fun having an icecreamgirl gf. you thought it would be cool that she's plural and has three flavors. now she's trying to conquer europe, and you come crying to me