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archived.

ooc. hi, everyone. it’s been a while. 

So. This has been a while in coming.

I’m shutting down my RP blogs. This one, and pandoricaguarded. They’ll stay up as archives, so if you really want to dig through my threads, or look at my old promos, you can do that.

I’ve been doing RP writing since I was about 14, and got involved on tumblr when I was 15. I’m 19 now. 

I first read the Maximum Ride series when I was about 10 years old, and read the last book in the series when I was about 17. I was warned when first told about it how off-the-rails the whole series went, and yet, I kept reading. Because of this little found-family full of homeless, illegally experimented on, children, somehow tugged at my heartstrings enough for me to devote hundreds of hours and thousands of pages on staying in (and trying to fix) this crumbling little fictional world, the one the fans cared about more than the author. Max is by far one of the characters I’ve written the most of, and it boggles me to think of how much time I’ve spent on her. And yet, I keep coming up with ideas, and so I keep going.

I’m not going to stop writing, far from it. I have an account over on ff.net and archiveofourown, where you can read what I’ve been writing. There’s a lot of Max Ride stuff, because I truly don’t know how to quit. It’s in the works. I have a writing tumblr, if you want to follow that to get the first alerts of my fics popping up on your dash. If you desperately want, you can hop in that tumblr’s askbox to get my fan twitter. 

RP Writing’s been a great experience, for the most part: I’ve found friends here, and improved my writing here. I’ve had laughter and comfort here. I learned a lot about being bisexual, and the community helped me accept and grow to love that part of myself. I’ve improved my photoshop skills, and learned some coding, and some internet slang that’s mostly confined to this corner of the world. I’ve learned a lot from the RP community.

For that, I thank you all, if we’ve done threads together or if your interaction with me is as small as liking a single post. I saw you, and you made my day better. Thank you for reading my thoughts on Maximum Ride, this horribly developed, infuriating, garbage fight child, that’s somehow captured my heart. Thank you for following me. Thank you for helping me smile, on tough days. 

                                           Thank you, RP community. 

                                                    Love, Annalise.

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it’s that time again…

now, i’m willing to accept the fact that you are now TWO YEARS older than me if you are willing to accept the fact that i am never going to stop falling in love with fictional characters and flinging my ideas about them at you. i would say i’m sorry for always murdering them painfully, but quite honestly, i am not. so instead of that gift, please receive this long-ass list of appreciations instead.

Keep reading

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ooc. what’s up! if you’re just now getting on the dash, which u should be bc it’s 6:36 in the morning, i have spent the last 1 and 1/2 hour watching the maximum ride movie. here’s the posts in order on my blog, and it’s time for my official review, under the cut. why did i do this? i suffer so you don’t have to. let’s go.

okay! so, basically, this movie wasn’t QUITE as cringe as i expected, which was a pretty low bar to clear considering maximum ride lets me down on a regular basis. thanks, jpatz. 

here are my general notes:

i always get kinda excited while watching a movie based off a book i love, no matter how disappointing, which is probably the reason for the notes i left behind. with some space, and the thoughts that weren’t the first things i threw on the keyboard, though.... you’ll see

again: insomnia disclaimer. typos and weird phrasing is blamed on that.

i haven’t read the first book in a while, so this is based off my memory

the movie was... the first half of the first book, basically. they stopped right before going off to new york. so we got all of the exposition of something bigger and they’re probably angling for a sequel.

we knew going in that this movie was whitewashed. i was still jarred by it and there’ll be more notes, but basically; they didn’t look like the characters i knew at all. things just kind of... fell, after that

let me list the positives first.

they got gazzy down okay, but considering he’s basically an 8 year old that wants to blow things up in the first book, that’s not very hard.

the backflip off the wall??? hella. u could have given her more scenes like that.

....like, the scenery was cool during the flying shots????

baby max. that was pretty cool to see.

there were occasional moments when the characters harkened back to canon book stuff; max sassing off during the showdown with jeb/ari, max taking care of her children, iggy’s unfortunately brief deadpan snark, nudge being a boss with tech, gaz eager to blow things up. 

not much angel. not much creepy child in this one. holla

brief ari angst. noice.

let’s get into the negatives, which are.... plentiful tbh

the general characterization was off most of the rest of the film. max tended to be a bit.... less sass, more grumble, is the way my exhausted brain is phrasing it. fang talked, like, a lot. iggy did take after the kids, but they phrased it like it was him doing his thing rather than like in the books when max pushes that onto him. NUDGE’S CHARACTER WAS SO???? NOT SOFT?? NOT CHATTY? BASICALLY A SULKY TEEN WHO GRUMBLES A LOT?????????? NOT NUDGE BASICALLY. like they introduce her ready to endanger the flock to get a jacket. while she does love shopping, it’s not to that point. gazzy again was okay. and angel was kept down to a minimum bc school

i can smell the mary-sue they’re trying to push onto max in this movie. like they do it in the books too but in the movie, max was called selfish by nearly every member of the flock except iggy and angel. some of those reasons were: not letting nudge out of the house, keeping the flock in the house, closing off jeb’s office, and saving ella from getting shot. i can feel it. it is not the trash child i know.

listen, the general characterization was pretty not great. there were occasional moments of goodness, mentioned above, but, like... not really great.

the wings were real shitty cgi. i mean, you could have done multiple things to just..... maintain more canon

please put the children in sleeves and windbreakers like in canon, and just stuff them so it looks like bulky wings, re canon, and cut holes in the shirts/sweatshirts. they’re probably cold. wait no high body temperature. but forget it. jackets.

maintain the skimpy tank tops and sleeveless hoodies and vests but have peeks of feathers and wings through them

like, i understand budgetary restrictions, but??? the scars could have just. not been a thing. and just have them in jackets. 

there’s probably more but

whitewashing/casting issues. this one was left for last bc it’s a big one.

DISCLAIMER: I AM WHITE. clearly i cannot speak for poc bc i am not a person of color.

let’s walk through members of the cast/flock first

of 6 members of the flock, 3 are described with the potential to be/as POC, though max is white-passing: max, fang, and nudge. fang is described as having olive-colored skin and dark black hair; many readers presumed he’s a poc.

of those 6, the only POC is nudge

max is white to the point that her hair looks bleached; maybe it is, idk.

fang had reddish-blond hair and is nearly as pale as max.

dr. m and ella are both white, as the discourse prior to this liveblogging stated. both explicitly stated to be latinx.

there was an asian whitecoat woman.

that was it for poc given major screentime/speaking roles, as far as i could tell. nudge and an unnamed whitecoat.

clearly this is????? ridiculous?????? and outrageous?????

there should be more representation, especially when at least 5 of the main characters are stated to be poc/could be cast as poc! 

it’s 2017! 2016 when that movie was made, but. jesus christ none of those actors are particularly well known you could have cast people who actually fit the roles and added diversity to this movie 

to paraphrase john oliver, how is whitewashing still a thing

i’m irritated and kinda pissed and would write more but i have had to go back into my dorm room and don’t want to wake up my roommate with typing. know that this is outrageous and awful.

as far as general casting, the only characters who looked vaguely like i expected were gazzy and angel, plus a bit of jeb and ari. fang had reddish-blonde hair, iggy was a brunette, and max was basically bleached blonde. ella was okay, not great but okay, but she was older than i thought she’d be, as was nudge.

to summarize, not as awful as it could have been, but it does need some work. like? 2.5 stars maybe. the movie gets a strong ehh sound with ambivalent hand-wavey gesture.

might make some more shitpostier posts about it when i am more awake and have processed it more. we’ll see.

i am going to lay quietly and pretend i can get 30 minutes of sleep before i have to get up, rip me

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this is the final post before the review i’m pretty sure

max hugging angel and “i’ll always come for you no matter what”

okAY MAX HAS A MIGRAINE JUST NOW JUST MAX HERE WE GO THE VOICE IS BARELY BEING INTRODUCED, BUT IT’S THE WEIRD IMAGES THING THAT HAPPENS IN THE FIRST BOOK

“the institute: maximum ride”

max stirring awake in fang’s arms

“what the hell happened?” “i was gonna ask you the same thing. u ok?” “yeah i think so” “i thought i lost you again. you need to stop doing that to me.” “i’ll work on it”

aND FANG COMPLAINS “i thought you were blind” “your breathing changed”

group huddle at the edge of a cliff and “so we’re going to new york”

and we end on a foreboding shot of max saying “this experiment’s over” on a tape in black and white being rewound over and over again

okay, review up shortly, bc it looks like that’s it

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max is fighting ari on her way into the cage now. shE PICKPOCKETED HIM AND “daddy wouldn’t like it”

they can stand in the cages they’re smaller in canon

“we should trust him” max says and immediate pandemonium

here comes a call from the director, marian janssen or whatever, who is apparently british

“they’re not human. the most dangerous mistake to make is to think that they are.” says marian (?)

max and ari are ready to Fite

“how stupid do you think i am max?” “pretty stupid” immediately opens the door and starts punching the shit outta ari

max is leading ari on a wild chase. is this when she kills him

“send in the erasers” they say. 

and nudge has shut out all the power, gaz is heading for the chemical room. wearin safety goggles. i actually like movie gaz but it’s probably bc he’s had like 5 lines so they can’t really ruin it, but again, not like i imagined him

slow mo running agian. ari looks like a death metal reject. electricity fritzing in the background.

“there’s always a way out” i didn’t realize max was river song lite

shE DID A KICK OFF THE WALL INTO A FRONTFLIP IN SUPERHERO POSE WHILE A SLEEPING GAS BOMB WENT OFF OR SOMETHING THAT LOOKED REALLY GOOD ACTUALLY

wait is this when ari’s dead

max didn’t kill ari wtf??? it was just the bomb. maybe. idk it’s not clear i’ll rewind, just a moment

yeah it was just the bomb. i don’t think he’s dead tho, jeb’s just cradling him

“and don’t bother looking for us, jeb. the experiment’s over.” man it woulda been cool if you’d kept out the shitty cgi wings

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iokay max went outside, on her own. way to go kiddo

okAY MAX AND ARI SHOWDOWN

“come on ari, jeb wouldn’t want it to be like this” “you still don’t get anything! we’re the good guys!”

also fang just picked ari up to fly him away im

“come on ari you should know better, i’m never really alone”

“you chose to become a monster. i didn’t have that choice”

okay they triggered the migraine in everyone not just max so does everyone get the voice???? also it was triggered by remote and they’re taking all of them to the school now

i have 27 minutes left

max immediately asking if everyone’s okay and almost crying bc she sees max and bEING A TINY TEEN MOM

ready for that jeb faceoff???????? bc i am

wow i didn’t notice but ari has blacked out eyes, like a demon. wait no apparently it’s just him wolfed out

max has chocolate chip cookies waiting for her i feel so betrayed thAT’S A DR M THING NOT A JEB THING

and there’s jeb, looking a bit more polished than the flashback

max refusing to take any cookies. the glower is actually max level.

“i’m trying really hard to come up with a story that would explain any of this” max says explains it and “i guess that’s just wishful thinking”

“option two, this was a lie. it was you. how am i doing, jeb? warm, cold? room temperature?”

“the truth usually lies somewhere in the middle” stfu jeb

she’s just a kid, max hisses

“no, she’s not. she’s extraordinary. all of you are.” 

the house was so they could develop physically and emotionally, then he left for independence 

“god, you actually believe that? you really think that what you did was for the best?” “not for you max, no. but for everyone.”

here comes the save the world bomb

with a long unnecessary speech beforehand

“variables” god i remember that and i always forget that brings in how creepy jeb is

this is the most max sass that’s been in this movie

“now that the illusion’s shattered we will have to keep you here. for now.” “home sweet home”

max shoving away the cookies and “i don’t like chocolate chip cookies anymore. i’ve outgrown them.” no wtf you’re supposed to like them as a representation of home that you’ve been missing all your life

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ok there go max and fang again, through mountains. please let them wear sleeves

and now they’re in a cabin at lake mead. aight. and now she’s lighting candles

and fang is angry at her bc she stopped and “we’re beyond worrying about the right thing to do” and also this is weird but the actress who says sorry says “sourry”

MAX STANDING UP FOR HER ETHICS AND FANG TALKING ABOUT HOW THEY HAVE TO BE RUTHLESS

ok wrist grab, look up and down, licked lips

“i almost lost you” bruh it was in the shoulder

they almost kiss but he reaches up to cover her mouth

iggy stalking them, and gazzy and nudge hugGING MAX IM SO

“i kinda blew it up!” gaz u love

back to angel. they’re monitoring her brain. physical responses, others have increased levels of stress, so. they all have trackers apparently

the school is also not at all as i imagined it

ok the chip is apparently higher up in her arm, not in her actual wrist like i thought. like she’s gesturing to her bicep

also max gave ari a scar back when they were in the cage and “it doesn’t matter” and okay apparently she stabbed him with scissors goddamn

“i think he hated us” and jeb spent all his time with max “you were his favorite”

lingering eye contact. man fang is. so so white. so very white

is it another flashback??? yes it isssss

is it gonna be max stabbing ari? maybe we’ll see

“what are you doing here again?” “does it bother you? i can’t figure it out, why dad likes you so much. because there’s nothing special about you. you’re just a bunch of chemicals somebody cooked up in a lab. if he wanted to, he could make a hundred of you. the truth is, you’re a mistake. an experiment gone wrong. you’re not even human! how does it feel, to be a monster? things would be so much better if you would just go away. would you like that? then we would never have to see each other again. i mean, i could leave you here with no hope. or i could just let you go.” and he’s baiting her with the keycard man ari’s a meanass kid. ok that was the scene where she stabbed him but they didn’t show it

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ok, here we go, time for max to be laid down on a table and fang freaking out

selfish for going to save a girl?????? what kind of reasoning

......ok dr m is white

i don’t know what’s going on here but i can tell i don’t like it this is not dr m this is an imposter

is she gonna be okay? ella asks about a gun wound in the shoulder

ok a flashback, max’s heart beating too fast?? operation i’m pretty sure. bb no

ok adult max is awake now. and seriously she does look like an adult i cannot emphasize that enough but more in the opinion post later

and max is awake TIME TO BOND WITH UR MOTHER MAX

omg ella so cute and soft. but so white.

max eating with her hands. and ok here’s the metabolism coming into play

omg nudge is getting distracted by trying to be a regular teen let her 

dr m being like “you do heal fast your shoulder is nearly fully recovered???” woman you are a doctor, not a vet apparently

oh god the tracker looks like its in her chest oh god are they gonna do the beach scene

dr m trying to offer to help max, but you’re a brave girl and we owe you, and we’ll always be here for you, no questions asked im

eW THE WING COMING IT IS JUST AS GROSS AS I EXPECTED

now max is ripping holes in a ramones t-shirt i think?.... to make it a tank top, for her wings, i guess. why don’t they just rip holes like they do in canon

“you can hurry up” fang says and max stops in her tracks. sass

fang is being nervously chatty im??????????? no

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ooh boy, here’s our look at cinematized school

very basic scientist tbh. lots of pov view with scientists leaning over everyone.

so they’re putting angel through some sort of weird spinny test screen with electrical shocks. and now i’m pretty sure it’s jeb who told them to let her rest

off flies max and fang, there they go. it doesn’t look bad if they keep the angle from far away

man, fang and max are so white. like it bears repeating a million times bc they’re so fuckin white. like max is bleach blonde and fang has brown hair and they’re just. so white

they’re in moab utah, so they’re eating and resting. max worrying and being sulky, wait she said thanks she ruined the canon comment

also they don’t have the increased appetite from what i can see so

oH HERE WE GO IT’S MAX RESCUING ELLA TIME

fang is asking to choose us or them???? wtf

fine you’re right it’s not our problem???? u better take off behind his back

yes there we go u go max bb save someone

if this is ella? she is very white. 

max literally just shoved him to the ground and says “make sure you tell your friends you wer beat up by a girl” and then shoves him back into a wall. 

and there’s the gunshot

and fang. wearing a sleeveless hoodie, the most pointless

how is she knocked out by a gun wound to the shoulder??????

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“what is it?” max says as fang holds up a clearly marked map

oh this is different they’re leaving behind nudge and gazzy so none of this ableist shit, it’s age stuff now

oh wait iggy volunteered to stay behind. so it’s a fax trip. weird ok

off they fly. and yeah ok they did not have the budget to make the flying look believable

the school has a helicopter now apparently

ari is def stalking the flock. way to look intimidating ari. u go

nudge is being a tech hacker yes bb do it. also she’s such a rebellious teenager where is my sweet child???

they’re finding out about their parents oh no

ok damn just noticed but iggy’s arms are RIPPED

oh no now ari is taunting iggy. i’m mad. don’t fight my sons

i realize most of this is action i’ll post opinions once i’m through 

wow the flock’s fighting skills are not up to par lmao iggy got knocked out by being thrown on the ground i think???

man ari looks so dark and intimidating all black and the long hair

oh boy, gaz is about to blOW THE ROOF I CAN FEEL IT

iggy flew out carrying nudge and gaz in his arms when will your fave ever????

ok how did ari survive this explosion bc max has to kill him right

wait intimidating hand punching through the rubble got it

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here we go, my fighting child and oh god no this cgi no no no

also if ur telling me angel couldn’t fight her way out of people holding her like a baby?????

max kicking all of them i the head and they’re knocked out. badass

i think ari has now swooped down and immediately punched max in the face and put out her knee. whoa his hair is so long and flowy he looks like a pantene model

what is this weird cross thing someone is drawing????????? probably angel being creepy

wait no it’s max. and fang, i’m pretty sure. and max drawing birds as her family im. also no it’s ari lol nvm that’s what fang should look like. and ari’s the same age as max???

jeb’s gonna save the world. his job is really important. do you see him much?

every day.

ari my son

she’s very special i still wanna roundhouse kick jeb in the face

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angel, do not go towards the voices u little shit

iggy and nudge friendship. yes. i know you think max doesn’t care, but she does iggy backing max up???

also nudge wanting to be a usual teenager. bb. max only cares about herself CALLING HER OUT GODDAMN

angel, can u fuckin not

they spell eraser with a z. no.

okay, we’re getting into plot, they’re all yelling and looking for angel

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max and nudge are being so mean to each other. no. max stop being so mean to your children

this is so reversed????? iggy has brown hair????? also oh man not at all like i imagined him. not at all. none.

iggy is already calling max out, that’s ic

oh yeah, there’s a flashback of jeb pressuring max, just like canon

so basically max has them all locked up in the house and refusing to leave, which, i mean, yeah it sounds like her

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oh they’re starting off with her nightmare like in the book 

she looks 18. and she’s still blonde. no the blonde fades with age

she’s wearing an unnecessary croptop, also erasers do not seem like the type to roam the woods with flashlights

this is unnecessary slomo

so much about this movie is unnecessary tho

....aRI HAS LONG HAIR! ARI HAS LONG HAIR! HIS HAIR IS LONGER THAN MAX’S

i do like short hair for max tho

the actress for max is very pretty, just not how i imagined max at all. she’s very white, for starters.

ok the kids are in correct ages now. 

wait. oh yeah i remember they have weird scars instead of wings. don’t like that. i mean it’s easier but i still don’t like it

FANG IS SO FUCKIN WHITE HE’S BASICALLY BLOND-REDHEAD

and yes max is eating chocolate chip cookies

nudge is weirdly old??????? like gaz and angel are kids but nudge is not. also nudge was just mean to angel and gazzy this is ooc. but gaz is making a bomb so u know

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chelsea ellis bloch u did a shit job for casting

eXECUTIVE PRODUCER, JENNA MARBLES

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wait all the kids look young as max???

also oh no ari runs out of the school yelling for his dad as jeb drives away, what kinda shitty dad doesn’t make all the kids double buckle wtf

oh my god they’re deadass using lindsey sterling music for the opener

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wtf is this tiny baby max????? omg it is im yelling we get a flashback scene. shE HAS BROWN EYES AND BLONDE HAIR, AT LEAST SHE HAS BROWN EYES

ew tho jeb.... does not look his best

he’s carryin her like a tiny bb. she’s so smol. omg.

everYONE’S IN THE CAR I’M YELLING HE LITERALLY JUST LOADS THEM ALL INTO HIS CAR