armagnac-army

[armagnac-army]

CAN YOU BELIEVE THIS GUY

PUTAIN DE ROIS

SAVE SOME CELLARS FOR THE REST OF US YOU CHARGRILLED BRISKET

Hmmm... You are a little deceiver, don't you?

Why do you call yourself armagnac army, when there isn't any in uniform? Could you at least work on that?

- Prinny ❤️

(( @prinnyramblings ))

THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT ROI DE ROSBIF ????

ARE YOU DEMANDING I DRESS MY FUCKING BRANDY UP IN UNIFORMS

WHY

[armagnac-army]

WHY EXACTLY DO I NEED TO SHOW OFF MY FRANCITÉ

DO YOU PERSONALLY GET CONFUSED WHEN YOUR ALCOHOL DOESNT HAVE CLOTHES ON ?! DONT FUCKING TELL ME YOU FUCKING DRESS UP YOUR ALCOHOL BOTTLES DO YOU

Hmmm... You are a little deceiver, don't you?

Why do you call yourself armagnac army, when there isn't any in uniform? Could you at least work on that?

- Prinny ❤️

(( @prinnyramblings ))

THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT ROI DE ROSBIF ????

ARE YOU DEMANDING I DRESS MY FUCKING BRANDY UP IN UNIFORMS

WHY

[armagnac-army]

Hmmm... You are a little deceiver, don't you?

Why do you call yourself armagnac army, when there isn't any in uniform? Could you at least work on that?

- Prinny ❤️

(( @prinnyramblings ))

THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT ROI DE ROSBIF ????

ARE YOU DEMANDING I DRESS MY FUCKING BRANDY UP IN UNIFORMS

WHY

[armagnac-army]

hindered by our rivalry hah! bold of you to assume were not still rivals mon lapin aux oreilles tombantes ! im winning this marriage

the fuck crawled up your ass and died murat?

well enjoy your stay at casa de bessieres im going to go and get my sheep out of the kitchen

Lannes waves and, like a tree, he leaves. There is a baa emanating from the room he has entered.

Excuse me for the rude intrusion old friend, I hope I didn't disturb anything important, but I needed a break from everything going on at home.

Murat seemed to have better days despite the chilling cold he was drenched in sweat and had dark circles under his eyes from a clear lack of rest.

Let's just say many things have been going on lately, and well you're the first person that came to mind so here I am...Uhh, surprise!

There was no sight of his normally well-kept appearance; his hair was in a hastily done ponytail; though as always he had brought over a 'party gift' which was a bottle of the finest wine.

Excuse my less-than-stellar appearance; I would've dressed for the occasion but; things got...complicated let's say.

Bessières' eyes widen at the sorry state of his old friend, but he quickly recovers from the shock enough to compose himself.

Please, do come in. Sit down with me, by the fire, you look soaked through.

He thinks of bringing Murat a blanket, or some hot food, but he is worried about the former prince of Naples prickling at being treated like a beggar given shelter at Christmas.

My dear friend, I am sorry to hear that misfortunes have befallen you. Is there any way in which I could help? Or would you like to simply talk about it?

Talk, sitting side by side, like when they were two young soldiers in the Guarde Nationale, bored out of their minds and shooting the breeze waiting to be relieved of duty. It has been a long time and a great many events since then, and life had, in its cruel fashion, held them further apart the longer it went on. Bessières would be grateful for a chance to reconnect properly.

[armagnac-army]

CANT A MARRIAGE MADE ON A MUTUAL DARE TO PROVE OUR RESPECTIVE HONOURS WORK OUT SOMEHOW INEXPLICABLY

HUH?!

marshal lannes is your wife?!!!!

@armagnac-army is almost everyone’s wife at this point but not mine!

For the fucks sake, Colonel Heymes, why did you need to say anything at all?

[armagnac-army]

SOMEONE SOUNDS JEALOUS

marshal lannes is your wife?!!!!

@armagnac-army is almost everyone’s wife at this point but not mine!

For the fucks sake, Colonel Heymes, why did you need to say anything at all?

[armagnac-army]

Friendly company incoming!

THE FUCK YOU DOIN IN MY HOUSE

BONJOUR MURAT

WHERES MY HUSBAND

(( @bayard-de-la-garde, @everyones-favourite-marshal ))

Excuse me for the rude intrusion old friend, I hope I didn't disturb anything important, but I needed a break from everything going on at home.

Murat seemed to have better days despite the chilling cold he was drenched in sweat and had dark circles under his eyes from a clear lack of rest.

Let's just say many things have been going on lately, and well you're the first person that came to mind so here I am...Uhh, surprise!

There was no sight of his normally well-kept appearance; his hair was in a hastily done ponytail; though as always he had brought over a 'party gift' which was a bottle of the finest wine.

Excuse my less-than-stellar appearance; I would've dressed for the occasion but; things got...complicated let's say.

Bessières' eyes widen at the sorry state of his old friend, but he quickly recovers from the shock enough to compose himself.

Please, do come in. Sit down with me, by the fire, you look soaked through.

He thinks of bringing Murat a blanket, or some hot food, but he is worried about the former prince of Naples prickling at being treated like a beggar given shelter at Christmas.

My dear friend, I am sorry to hear that misfortunes have befallen you. Is there any way in which I could help? Or would you like to simply talk about it?

Talk, sitting side by side, like when they were two young soldiers in the Guarde Nationale, bored out of their minds and shooting the breeze waiting to be relieved of duty. It has been a long time and a great many events since then, and life had, in its cruel fashion, held them further apart the longer it went on. Bessières would be grateful for a chance to reconnect properly.

[armagnac-army]

Monsieur le Maréchal, I noticed a bedroll that's been empty for a while and belongings left behind by a "P. Marcé", but no one seems to notice or even know the man...should this be a cause for concern?

-- a concerned private

When the news is filtered up to Lannes, he responds-

SO YOU'RE SAYING THERE'S SOME PRIVATE THAT NOBODY HERE KNOWS WHO HAS VANISHED

CONSIDERING OUR ENEMIES ARE PUTAINS DE CONNUS ENNUYANTS DU NÉANT

THAT IS EXTREMELY FUCKING CONCERNING

Soult: I would suggest a far more mundane explanation of desertion. Not everything is related to our irritating enemies.

Soult: ... Marshal Bessières did mention... no, perhaps I am misremembering...

SOULT IF YOUVE GOT WHAT YOU CAME FOR YOU CAN MISREMEMBER OUT OF MY OFFICE

Soult: Hmmph.

...

Lᴇᴛ ᴍᴇ(?) ᴛᴇʟʟ ʏᴏᴜ(?) ᴀ sᴛᴏʀʏ ᴀʙᴏᴜᴛ ᴛᴡᴏ sᴏʟᴅɪᴇʀs ᴡʜᴏ sᴀᴡ ᴀ TOWER ᴛʜᴀᴛ ɴᴏʙᴏᴅʏ ᴡᴀɴᴛᴇᴅ ᴛᴏ ᴄʟɪᴍʙ, ᴀɴᴅ ᴛʜᴇɴ ᴛʜᴇʏ ᴅᴇᴄɪᴅᴇᴅ ᴛʜᴇʏ ᴡᴀɴᴛᴇᴅ ᴛᴏ ᴄʟɪᴍʙ ɪᴛ. [Sᴛᴏʀʏ ɢᴏᴇs ʜᴇʀᴇ.] [… Wᴇʀᴇ ʏᴏᴜ(?) ᴇxᴘᴇᴄᴛɪɴɢ ᴀ sᴛᴏʀʏ?] [Sᴏᴍᴇᴛɪᴍᴇs ᴀʙsᴇɴᴄᴇ ᴛᴇʟʟs ʏᴏᴜ ᴍᴏʀᴇ ᴛʜᴀɴ ᴘʀᴇsᴇɴᴄᴇ.] Oɴᴇ sᴏʟᴅɪᴇʀ ʀᴇᴛᴜʀɴᴇᴅ. Tʜᴇʀᴇ ᴡᴀs ᴀʟᴡᴀʏs ᴏɴʟʏ ᴏɴᴇ sᴏʟᴅɪᴇʀ. Aɴᴅ sᴏᴏɴ, ᴛʜᴇʀᴇ ᴍɪɢʜᴛ ᴏɴʟʏ ��ᴠᴇʀ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ʙᴇᴇɴ ɴᴏɴᴇ ᴡʜᴏ ᴇᴠᴇʀ ᴅᴀʀᴇᴅ ᴄʟɪᴍʙ ᴛʜᴇ TOWER. Bᴜᴛ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ᴘᴀʀᴛ, ᴡᴇ(?) ᴄᴀɴ ʙʟᴀᴍᴇ ᴏɴ ᴛʜᴇ-

[armagnac-army]

my dear marshal...i'm not sure how to say this...so...the emperor may or may not have been turned into/replaced by an eyebrow goose...aka this thing https://www.reddit.com/r/geese/comments/vneq8k/there_is_increasing_trend_of_eyebrow_goose_on/

basically a goose with eyebrows. honks and hisses at everything now.

...

this better not be a prank mademoiselle!

you better not have grabbed a random goose painted eyebrows on it and put it in an imperial outfit! because if word gets out that i got fucking bitten by a putain d'oie thinking it was the boss

then that would be extremely embarrassing!!!

[armagnac-army]

THROW ME AND I WILL FUCKING SIEGE YOUR HOUSE

if you had to throw lannes, how far/high could you throw him?

Hmmm...good question, Anonimo.

Knowing my raw strength; I could throw him beyond the horizon if I wished to do so.

Perhaps I should test this out with @armagnac-army when I have the time.

[armagnac-army]

Hello i'm tight pants anon. Isn't it a bit painful to wear such tight pants?

non ?

what the fuck are you on about ? is your leg skin so délicate that any fucking pressure makes your legs explode ????

[armagnac-army]

WHY WOULD ANYONE MARRY THIS

Hey Sharpe?

Fuck, marry, kill: Jean Lannes, Michel Ney, André Massena

Let’s see…

Fuck: Ney because why not? I always like to remind the frogs that we won @le-brave-des-braves

Marry Lannes so we can siege stuff together @armagnac-army

And kill Massena so I can rob him of his shiny stuff

[armagnac-army]

WHY WOULD I MARRY A ROAST BEEF

Hey Sharpe?

Fuck, marry, kill: Jean Lannes, Michel Ney, André Massena

Let’s see…

Fuck: Ney because why not? I always like to remind the frogs that we won @le-brave-des-braves

Marry Lannes so we can siege stuff together @armagnac-army

And kill Massena so I can rob him of his shiny stuff

[armagnac-army]

Do you bite in bed?

HOW THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO ANSWER THIS QUESTION AND DO I EVEN WANT TO ????

[armagnac-army]

IF WE STOOD THE ENTIRE GRANDE ARMEE ON YOUR TINY ISLAND

IT WOULD PROMPTLY SINK INTO THE SEA

Greetings, My darling Subjects.

It is with a heart full of enthusiasm and warm feelings that I, George Augustus Frederick, once the Prince of Wales, then Prince Regent and lastly King of the United Kingdom, inform you all of my unique presence on this site.

I have been observing a lot of people here, mostly those whom I had to call enemies in the past. But, the past is the past, am I alright?

All I wish is to share my gracious time with all of you, my darling subjects, and give you all the chance of reading your thoughts and feelings towards me.

Of course, I come to also acknowledge those of you who aren't… Not so darlings to me. Those who seem to enjoy making fun of me. Worry not; I shouldn't ignore you. Just expect that, after so many criticism and mockery, I have become bored of the same said, all over and over again.

So please, try to be creative!

-Prinny ❤️

((Hello! This is an unserious RP ask blog of George IV! I'm simply doing this for fun!))

[armagnac-army]

FUCKING WHY

Greetings, My darling Subjects.

It is with a heart full of enthusiasm and warm feelings that I, George Augustus Frederick, once the Prince of Wales, then Prince Regent and lastly King of the United Kingdom, inform you all of my unique presence on this site.

I have been observing a lot of people here, mostly those whom I had to call enemies in the past. But, the past is the past, am I alright?

All I wish is to share my gracious time with all of you, my darling subjects, and give you all the chance of reading your thoughts and feelings towards me.

Of course, I come to also acknowledge those of you who aren't… Not so darlings to me. Those who seem to enjoy making fun of me. Worry not; I shouldn't ignore you. Just expect that, after so many criticism and mockery, I have become bored of the same said, all over and over again.

So please, try to be creative!

-Prinny ❤️

((Hello! This is an unserious RP ask blog of George IV! I'm simply doing this for fun!))

[armagnac-army]

Marbot: Ah, in life. I am... very sorry.

Marbot: So this will be a manner of homecoming for you, non?

Marbot: Well, let me take you to some temporary quarters so you may freshen up.

When Coëtlosquet is left at his temporary room, after a while, a black cat with very curly whiskers that seems kinda familiar and a small curly-furred kitten will gambol into his room. The black cat will rub against him if he is amenable to that. The kitten's collar says MÉRINO, while the black cat's collar says MARBOT.

A lone horseman will ride up to the sentries. The horse is worn out and so is the rider, who wears a hussar's uniform that bears dirty evidence of a rather hard march. The only thing reasonably clean about him is the brassard on his arm that denotes him as someone's aide-de-camp.

Finally another soldier! God, I hardly know how long I have been riding, the time keeps changing in the places I pass through... Who is in command here? Would they know of the whereabouts of General Lasalle?

In his search for his General, he has passed through various shifting impressions of places he saw in life, except that all of them seemed... off. He hopes, prays even, that this is where the search ends.

My name is Coetlosquet, I am supposed to be his aide-de-camp, if only I could find the man.

The sentries quickly send the message up the chain of command, and soon, Coetlosquet is directed to one of Marshal Lannes' ADCs - one Marcellin Marbot. Who has black cat ears. That nobody is acknowledging. Marbot takes a seat and offers Coetlosquet a seat.

Marbot: Bonjour, Chef d'escadron Coetlosquet! You are in the headquarters of Corps 1er of l'Armée de l'au-delà as commanded by Maréchal Lannes - in the afterlife, as we are all dead, and we have all died most bravely, I assure you!

Marbot: In fact I died while-

MARBOT ARE YOU BULLSHITTING AGAIN

Marshal Lannes marches into the tent, rolling his eyes with a smirk.

someone get this guy a change of uniform and a drink for dieu's sake!

Marbot: Monsieur le Maréchal! You're back early!

i dont feel like answering the rest of the letters and ive just looked at the report subervie sent to me about his rendezvous with @thehussargeneral

coelacanth ive been in talks with your commanding officer and were hopin to see him soon

tell me

have you seen any weird fog around

because apparently general lasalle is trapped by some weird fog

Lannes, still standing, places a hand on the back of Marbot's chair and leans over.