arminsic

[arminsic]

Just something I wrote in the moment of sadness about the idea of a boy I fell in love with. pls disregard my horrible grammar and punctuation.

i still hang on to single thread of hope that you love me back like it’s a lifeline, allowing me to reach inside myself and offer my one thing I could offer, my love unconditional and unwavering in hopes that it would change the mind of the stubborn the broken and the self proclaimed damned, hoping that if I showed you enough of my love it would make me worthy of yours, excusing the shitty acts and and your use of my willingness to give you whatever you desire from me as if it would change the truth, that you would never love me.

my tongue still holds your name like the bitter taste of blood, poisoning my heart every-time I speak it into existence, sending me into a spiral of despair and heartbreak, you unknowingly broke me in ways that I could never even begin to explain, your selfishness to keep me as a friend and string me along knowing I felt this way about you has left me with bittersweet memories.

You used me, you used my heart, almost like you wanted someone to prove to you that you are still worthy of love and what do you do? You tell me you’d get bored of me eventually.

Why do I still feel the need to prove myself to you? You deserve nothing of me, not a thought in the world and yet here we are.