aroadfullofpromises

[aroadfullofpromises]

maybe you MILLENIALS would be able to afford a house if you stopped spending your money at your local diner’s jukebox buying twenty one (21) plays of what’s new pussycat with one (1) play of it’s not unusual in the middle

[aroadfullofpromises]

Good thing it’s 2018 and literally no one just stops by anymore

Where has this been all my life?

[aroadfullofpromises]

me because it’s march 2018 and i still gotta hear shape of you by ed sheeran

[aroadfullofpromises]

[aroadfullofpromises]

you ever just get in bed and ur like yep this is where i’m meant to be

[aroadfullofpromises]

Meryl Streep in Mamma Mia really was living the best life- owned a hotel on a beautiful Greek island, singing sweet ABBA bops, had a history of dicking down so many hot dudes she wasn’t sure which handsome, tone-deaf, middle-aged man was her kid’s dad. 

what a life. 

[aroadfullofpromises]

“you’re so polite!” thank you i have anxiety

[aroadfullofpromises]

im not a complicated person. a funny ape picture here, a little pee joke there, maybe even a silly sound… that’s enough for me to have a good time

[aroadfullofpromises]

Why my parents so old and stupid fuck off

[aroadfullofpromises]

Do you realize that all great literature is all about what a bummer it is to be a human being? Isn’t it such a relief to have somebody say that?

Kurt Vonnegut (via quotemadness)

[aroadfullofpromises]

[aroadfullofpromises]

[aroadfullofpromises]

me: im tired 

Someone in walmart: NOT as tired as our TROOPS! 

[aroadfullofpromises]

honestly 2017 has been such a ride that the pentagon just admitted they had a ufo department and the head of it says they found aliens and I’m just like “hm. okay I guess”

[aroadfullofpromises]

the 70s was an incredibly horny decade, largely due to the music of its day. if you’ve ever heard queen abba or electric light orchestra you’ll understand why the youth were balls to the wall and wore hideous clothing not only without shame but with hubris. in this essay i will

[aroadfullofpromises]

[aroadfullofpromises]

why do 90% of all medicines sound like cool wizard names