artisnowy

[artisnowy]

— Mary Lambert, Shame Is an Ocean I Swim Across; "You Are with the Wrong Person" (via lunamonchtuna)

[artisnowy]

— Leah Horlick from “For Your Own Good”

[artisnowy]

I have to go on a 6 week stay at a clinic and im worried my grandpa and his dog will die while im stuck in there

[artisnowy]

I need to move on, I desperately want you back but you shown time snd time you hsve the ability to come back and don't want to ever see me again. I know you chose to get rid of me but its still hard not to have you and im worried I will have this fear for the rest of my life

[artisnowy]

I want to love and make life easier for everyone else and thats why I keep living

[artisnowy]

This is a targeted message. If you happen to see this which i hope you do i miss you. I won't put any identifiers because truely I dont think you will need them but I want to tell you how life has been since we last talked. I got a new car, I got therapy, i have done so many things and have gone to the doctor so much.

What i really wany to tell you is im going into an eating disorder clinic for 6 weeks. I know your wishing me the best and I know your proud of me for finally getting help and i just wish I could tell you myself without hoping your stalking me becausr I truely care about you and I never wanted yo lose you multiple times.

I wish I could tell you about my new dnd campain and how the last one ended and I could hear about yours aswell. I'm so exhausted and I hope your living your best life. For now im listening to Orange Juice by Noah Kahan cause it reminds me of you and not sleeping. part of me wants you to leave an anonymous asks again

I hope everything works out for you

[artisnowy]

Sometimes I close my eyes and im back with you that night in your room, after all that terrible stuff happened and I am holding you tightly wishing with all my energy for your safety and comfort. I wished to be by your side if anything happens and while that night was terrible more for you than for me im so glad I got to be there for you and was able to hold you. I still feel scared of letting go and im scared of losing you

[artisnowy]

As a final act of love, I will resist my wants to reach out for you and try to claw you back. This will not stop your voice from echoing through my soul and will not stop your words from penitrating my thoughts. I miss you dearly and i hope you never think of me again

[artisnowy]

I want to be worth someone wanting to do the art of kintsugi to me. I know I am broken and I want someone willing to reach in and paint gold in my inperfections

[artisnowy]

I am a jar full of fireflies. The fireflies has been asleep for a long time and the jar is cracked.

Im not sure if I know when the light left me, I lost a part of me a while ago and it feels like I've been missing something my whole life

[artisnowy]

I feel hallow, i need to give everyone my love and I cannot accept any back and im exhausted.

[artisnowy]

I cant say this to their face, I think that purchase will be a incredibly bad idea rn that they shouldn't have convinced you to do and will add to much regular costs especially cause you have more important things you should be spending on before this. I know you won't listen to me and its upsetting to see you put yourself in a worse financial situation because someone else convinced you to.

[artisnowy]

I care to deeply about others, why should I spend more time worrying about them than they do about anything

[artisnowy]

I got to high and was transported to a desaturated beach and it was overwhelming and calming at the same time

[artisnowy]

my heart feels intense and so full, I want to rip it out and grow wings

[artisnowy]

I feel so heavy for everyone and I am so overwhelmed with the want to love the people I care about

[artisnowy]

My aunt almost died in the hospital, a couple nights before I got to high and in my visions i was stuck at a beach thats super desaturated and the feeling of the waves washing over me felt like the river i almost drowned in as a kid