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Perfect Love

How long should one wait for the perfect love?

I have heard in the first half of my life

I need to find someone

Or I'll end up lonely

Find someone to spend your life with

Find someone to give us grandchildren

Are you dating anyone?

He must be gay because he hasn't found a nice girl yet

Every day I was belittled

Without love I am nothing

So I began to believe it

I believed that love is all there is

So I gave myself to it

I spent every waking moment

Trying to find a connection

With someone that could fill the void

Some were good patches

But none satisfied

Now in this part of my life

I am told not to settle

That love is worth waiting for

I deserve the best

Who's to say that I'm the best for someone?

Waiting for this perfect pair is unrealistic

Waiting for someone to be wholy unselfish

And yet selfish enough to say what they want

We all seek perfection in life

Love shouldn't be one of those places

Love should be wholly imperfect

One partner should be allowed to love "too much"

One partner should be able to have some toxicity

I am no longer waiting for perfect love

I am waiting for a good enough love

First I must learn to love myself enough

To have respect

To believe it when I hear those three words

How long do I wait for love?

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Being an Empath

What's so wrong with being me?

What's so wrong with wanting to help people? What's so wrong if I wanna give every ounce of myself into everything that I do?

To everyone that I help what's wrong with that?

People always tells me that there must be something wrong

To be so unselfish is inherently bad

I must have something hiding in my closet

I must have some ulterior motive

I must hold resentment for debts unpaid

I'm here to say my peace

That's all I'm here to do

To make the world a better place

If you can't accept that get out of my way

I'm not here to make myself any better than anyone else

I'm here to make sure that everyone gets that same deal that I did

That they get better than I did

Because if I don't try for that I'm no better

Than the ones that took it all away from me

I'm no better than the ones that caused me harm

For all the people that doubt me

That doubt my motives

I kindly say fuck you

I'm sorry that you have such a perception of the world

That anyone offering unsolicited help is so unbelievable

I'm sorry that I don't fit your typical idea of a philanthropist

I'm here for those that came before me and those that will come after

I'm here to show people that they deserve the love

That they may never have gotten from anyone else

Why is that so wrong?

If I want to help someone and ask nothing in return

Don't call me a liar!

I will give til I've got nothing left

Because I care

I understand that people are hard to trust

I'm not asking for trust

I'm asking for understanding

Understand that not everything in your world

Matches how I see mine

I have seen the darkness as well as the light

Why can't you believe me?

How hard is it to believe in what I say?

Have I given you any reason to doubt me?

No.

That's on the world.

I am an empath.

I am here to help.

[asadboysmiling-blog]

I struggle with Empathy

I sometimes feel something so passionately that I end up hurting myself

I sometimes feel the hurt from others so much that it keeps me up at night more than my own problems

I am such a strong proponent for my friends and family, that often I wear myself out

I feel things so strongly that it gets hard to think straight

I feed off of others vibes so strongly that it can make or break my day

I want to be there to help so much that I put myself out

I put myself in uncomfortable situations just to help others

I have never thought of myself as a person

I cannot take compliments very well

Whenever people compliment me I worry about what they want in return

I feel gross when people compliment me, it literally churns my stomach

I don't like to look in the mirror because my reflection reminds me of someone I hate

I tell others so many kind things, but I can never tell myself

I stopped taking care of myself because I don't think I deserve it

My brain is so full that it never stops thinking

I fill my life with meaningless pop culture to try and quiet the voices in my head

I try and relate to others, but often I feel I fall short

I try and show my care for others, but I was never taught how

I can never show care for myself, because that would be selfish

I care

But

I struggle with Empathy

[asadboysmiling-blog]

CAUSE EVERY TIME WE TOUCH I GET THIS FEELING

EVERY TIME WE KISS I SWEAR I COULD FLY

CAN’T U FEEL MY HEART BEAT FAST, I WANT THIS TO LAST

NEED YOU BY MY SIDE

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No matter who you are. Loving someone only opens you up to be hurt

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[asadboysmiling-blog]

in case u stressed abt school

how to get motivated

10 useful study websites

how to be a morning person

taking notes on an ipad

how to beat test anxiety

group studying advice

how i catch up with work

15 habits of successful students

how to de-stress from school

maybe try summary foldables

how to start a planner

advice for freshmen

how to cram for a test

avoid careless mistakes

25 awesome study tips

time management advice

how to get organized

common study mistakes

fastest way to take notes

how to start a bullet journal

stop procrastinating

15 study tips

how to make mind maps

memorization advice

reorganize ur study space

act study advice + tips

advice: hs freshmen

advice: hs sophomores

advice: hs juniors

advice: hs seniors

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Learn, grow, improve - get 2 FREE Audiobooks From Audible

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REbecca

Please excuse the terrible writing style. I was about 16 when I wrote this.

An Ode to Becca

As I sit here in the dark

With my world filled with gloom

I take one look around and there is a spark

It is a light that fills the room

The light is you Rebecca

It is the memory of a day long ago

I can clearly remember

I was going to school on a bus though the snow

When I saw her sitting there across the way

Her locks were of auburn and reminded me of spring

As it moved back and forth in a steady sway

It filled me with nothing but warm feelings

It seemed it could not be though for she was taken

I became very sad and felt like a fool

Until one day it seemed I had become mistaken

It was a normal day and I was in school

When I heard the most wonderful news

She was free from the bonds of her last relationship

And so I laced up my best running shoes

I ran straight to my computer and started to chip

Away at the computer until it was done

The draft for a letter I would give to her

Then I rewrote it and gave it to her thinking this is the one

The next part was somewhat of a blur

She wasn’t quite interested in me

But we began to date as middle schoolers did

And not much happened so it ended week by week

Until came high school when childhood had been rid

She had become more beautiful than ever before

I knew I had to have her heart

So we began to explore

What it would be like to date like at the start

She showed me a movie and I was awe struck

She came over later than planned and that was okay

Because I was late too, thanks firetruck

I loved her more and more every new day

But then something happened that brought it all to a stop

Something had happened and she had gotten ill

I learned what had happened and my heart it just dropped

I stayed strong for her with my iron will

She slowly got better and then one day

She came to visit me at school

I came out and shouted hooray hooray!

Now I tried my best to follow each rule

Of how to treat a lady that deserves no less than the best

I took her to a ball game and when we got home

She took a rest

A few months later we met up again but this time we were alone

I took her to lunch, a movie, and ice cream to begin our date

We came home and watched Kaiju and Jaegers fight

After that we had fun, but she stays up late

So she went to sleep as if it was night

I watched as she lay there and dared not to move

Because it turned out I loved her

I feared if I woke her she would consider me rude

So I sat there and waited for her to stir

Until it was time for her to leave and go home

I said goodbye as I dropped her off

I later brought her a glass rose from Rome

Unfortunately no one was there

That was the last time I would be at her door

I decided to get out of her hair

But I could not forget feeling so sore

I thought and I prayed for this misery to end

But I decided I would never quit

I would try again to be her friend

I will do my best to save it

Please meet with me one last time

For old time’s sake

I am done with my rhymes

But please help me fix my mistake

Alas you have gone from this world

Another angel among lost too soon

And as I am hurled

Within this monsoon

Of grief and regret

I can’t help but think

As I smoke this last cigarette

My heart sinks

To be beside you one last time is all I ask

To see you smile that gorgeous smile

Ah but this is an impossible task

I will walk a thousand miles

For you have left me all alone

To journey on

With no one else to call my own

And I know it might be wrong

But I shall carry on by myself

I shall go where no one else can find me

No need to take my heart off of this dusty shelf

For it shall always be

With you