ashbelero

[ashbelero]

I’m at a weird stage where I’m like “what if there was a big beefy man but he had huge milky breasts and a pussy with a fat clit but he was still Man Coded, would that be hot” and I’m settling with “yes” but I’m confused where to go from there

[ashbelero]

At least give the omegas fat honking tits, you cowards

[ashbelero]

oh well in that case I respect your choices and boundaries. I’ll clean the window off.

debating how open i want to be about kink shit on main

[ashbelero]

I’m sorry do you have some kind of reputation to protect? On Tunblr Dot Gov? You think you’re better than me? You’re here. I’m at your window drawing dicks oh the glass. You’re not better than me. Open your fucking window, I’m coming in.

debating how open i want to be about kink shit on main

[ashbelero]

Hate that I have to go to the Thai or Vietnamese place and ask for no fucking cilantro, and I don’t have time to explain “I’m not a picky eater, I want the herbs, but I have that genetic thing where cilantro tastes like soap and it ruins the entire dish, please understand that I want the flavor removed not because I am a pissy little white baby but because my poor genetics remove the ability for me to savor the Herb”

I know they’re in the back calling me a pissy little white baby and they’re fucking right but it’s not because of the cilantro

[ashbelero]

You are missing the point.

It’s actually kind of common to type shorthand into the address bar itself, which for most of us redirects to the search engine of our choice and pops up the results.

Now, I do think this is a problem specifically with DuckDuckGo… which I’ve been leaning away from recently as it seems to have been… enshittified somehow. I personally still use Google but with a workaround that redirects it to the udm=14 something something no AI or ads.

PSA

EVERYONE BE CAREFUL. ARCHIVE OF OUR OWN PHISHING SITE (first link)

(the link is purple bc i clicked on it to get the link w/o special characters to report to various phising page report places).

the page leads to what appears to be the normal archive page, w/ the popup about the privacy policy & everything, with the url https://xn--iao3-lw4b.ws/media DO NOT LOG IN. THEY ARE HERE TO STEAL YOUR LOGIN CREDENTIALS. LOOK AT URLS BEFORE ENTERING ANY PERSONAL INFO.

STAY SAFE ON THE INTERNET GUYS!!

please reblog to spread this warning!!

[ashbelero]

I wanna cross stitch this

by Charles-Henri Monvert

[ashbelero]

So like… what’s Mario’s deal anyway?

a question just popped into my head about this video game i'm playing... i could probably figure it out by engaging with the game for like two minutes, but i'm gonna pester people about it on discord instead. also i will omit important context from my query

[ashbelero]

you can always tell when someone who knows little to nothing about music designs a piece of clothing or an accessory or otherwise that’s meant to do with music because notes and symbols are just haphazardly thrown onto the item/design with zero logic, sometimes backwards and upside down, just pure chaos, and this has bothered me for years.

[ashbelero]

I have a somnophilia story.

So, I’m openly asexual now, but my partner and I (both identified as men at the time - they’re enby now) were both super kinky when we met. I told him hey, if we ever have the means to do it, I want to be thrown in a van off the street and gang-banged by masked friends. This was a little extreme, obviously, and who has the cash to rent a panel van and an empty basement?

So we settled on somnophilia. We agreed beforehand and had a ton of discussion about how to do it safely. I also asked that I not be warned about when or how it would happen.

One night my partner gives me a milkshake loaded with Ambien. I do not suspect anything and am knocked the fuck out, and, I assume, violated. This is a fun story for me and hot to imagine. (Now I know it’s hot because I don’t have to have an active role in it - there’s the asexual bit)

Now, I find myself telling this story to a group of friends online and I’m laughing my ass off and my friends are HORRIFIED but I keep assuring them it was totally consensual. My partner walks by and is like, oh, are you telling the story about the Ambien milkshake?

Then he goes

“Yeah, we didn’t do anything. I wasn’t into it and I never planned to do anything to you in the first place, so after you passed out, I just tucked you into bed and played video games.”

…. HUH????

I was the laughingstock of the discord call and I didn’t even get sleep-fucked, I went along thinking I had been for TEN YEARS, what the fuck

[ashbelero]

We used to be a country

Panasonic G70 mobile phone 2003 (x)

[ashbelero]

[ashbelero]

byron donalds gave his life to christ in a cracker barrel parking lot. now you too can learn what religion you can convert to in a fast food restaurant parking lot by spinning these handy links!

[ashbelero]

I have a white rabbit that molts her entire coat twice a year, I’m still punk af, get over yallselves and wear the cat fur

father strange would you ever bless us with a release of merchandise in a color other than black? I have great respect for your noir lifestyle, but I walk a different path.

Literally no I'm forcegothing you all

[ashbelero]

Well, I got Jeff the Killer and now I can drink bleach and wear dress pants. Jealous?

hey its really cool that when everyones Creepypastas awakened you got Snow on Mount Silver giving you the ability to manipulate cold. I got Normal Porn For Normal People which just lets me send an angry, shaved chimp at people, but im sure ill find a use for it [the disappointment in my voice is palpable]

[ashbelero]

Me: oh boy, time to make some tea for breakfast. Let’s open up the airtight box I keep all the teabags in and see what we’ve got.

Foil packet of chamomile: pick me! c:

Foil packet of green tea: pick me! c:

Opened foil sack of 50 Masala Chai teabags: when you unsealed me you sealed your fate. The others hide their aroma in single serve packs, but when you open this box, I am all you smell. The spice must flow. Come, white boy. Consume that which your ancestors destroyed mine for.

Me: man that chai smells good