NO LONGER ACTIVE. A South Park askblog/comic for Stan and Kyle. Characters are aged up. Not affiliated with Comedy Central. USA SUICIDE HOTLINE: 1-800-273-8255 // USA CHILD ABUSE HOTLINE:1-800-422-4453
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In response
((OOC
i checked this blog today to make sure it hadnt been deleted and saw a few things in the inbox. i want to clear up a couple of things. if this is the last post to ever hit this blog, so be it, but heres the endcase:
no, i decided not to make the end comic. i wrote this story nine years ago with someone i loved very much. it sort of became a net for my feelings about my loss and addiction. it was messy and weird and put a lot of my perspectives on display. ive been clean for two years now and i think its okay not to tie up this story with a neat end. like stan and kyle, i graduated and i got older and i have a career. thats all it would have been. i would have tried to ascribe some deeper meaning to making a dumb thing in high school, and i would have tried really hard to make it feel like the way things were back then were okay. i dont really feel like revisiting it. comics are hard. it took me a very long time to write and create something that can be read in maybe an afternoon. maybe you just had to be there. by following stan and kyle for as long as it took, you followed me and my coming to grips with being a person. really, this was just longform vent art about whatever dumb bullshit occurs to a high school junior. but i know it helped some people and entertained some other people so, i will be leaving it up. i just dont think ill ever slap a neat bow on it. my story wont have a neat end and neither will stan and kyles.
no, i wont end the craig blog either. i havent logged into that one in a while and i think if tumblr wants to wash it away thats okay. it was a way for me to reclaim some control over a narrative and maybe explore some deeper feelings (surprise, my birth father Also went missing, who knew) but it ultimately didnt amount to much. whatever happened to craig is up to you. my interpretation wasnt liked much anyway, and to have an askblog, you need people to be curious about the premise. i didnt connect as much with it and the frustration associated with running a project like that outweighed whatever i got out of it. i still dont know what that was.
anyway. i moved onto writing dnd campaigns and i am still alive. i still make art sometimes. i still get anxious when i see the inbox notifs, but these days, 9 times out of 10 its spam. i hope you guys all liked the south park post-pandemic aged up specials. i didnt, but im nitpicky and kind of bitter about the idea altogether. i havent seen an active askblog since 2017 but hey. be nice to people who make things. if you feel so inclined, maybe go make something for yourself. id like to thank the people who were curious and had fun here. id like to thank sekrit, neggy, rachel, five, ozzy and nadia. id like to thank everyone who let me tell my story. its just not over yet.
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[ONE HOUR LATER]
CRAIG: Okay. I’m going. CRAIG: I’m going to the door. CRAIG: I’m gonna go meet my dad. TWEEK: Good luck!
ETHAN: …Can I help you?
[TO BE CONTINUED]
#((just in case the stragglers here didnt see this#((the craig blog is very active and look! craig met his dad!#((so go follow that one cause the storys not over!#((ooc
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CRAIG: … CRAIG: This wasn’t my idea. But I went with it, because it was a good idea. CRAIG: I don’t know if anyone remembers that one blog. Was around a few months ago. CRAIG: AskMarshandBroflovski- The one with the stupid gay kids in the hats. CRAIG: I was on it. And, I think some details got mixed up. CRAIG: There wasn’t a lot of time to clarify. CRAIG: And they won’t touch it, because they’re jerks. So. CRAIG: If anyone wants to ask me anything about it. Here I am. CRAIG: And I’ll answer stuff. Probably.
[inbox is open for craig!]
#remember when something was mentioned? this was that something#go send craig some questions!#askmarshandbroflovski isnt coming back but now we have a sequel!#ooc
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KYLE: Hey! So, there are some things we should say. STAN: First of all, we just graduated! Class of 2016! KYLE: Also, we're for sure not using this blog anymore. KYLE: I'm going to college and Stan's gonna take a year off to... what was it? STAN: Find myself. STAN: Which is what I told my parents, when really, I'm just gonna visit Kyle and get a job. KYLE: Right. KYLE: So, that's it! KYLE: Two years running, that's pretty impressive, dude. KYLE: We've both definitely grown a lot since then. STAN: Yeah. STAN: And we wanted to say a big, big last thank you to all of you guys! STAN: All... six thousand of you, wow. But you've really gotten us through some hard times, and given us crazy good advice when we really needed it. STAN: I would be in a different place without you, and I know Kyle would, too. KYLE: Yeah. Thank you all so much for your support. And know that we love you, too! STAN: Good luck with the rest of your lives, guys!
*click*
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[CONTINUED]
WENDY: Friends, family, guests. Graduates of 2016. WENDY: I am truly honored to deliver the valedictory for this year's graduating class. WENDY: I look out at all of you today, the kids that I know and some kids that I don't, but I am so proud of all of you. All of us. WENDY: We made it. WENDY: But this isn't the end of anything. No, this is only the beginning. WENDY: some of us will go on to get more education, some of us will jump straight into work. Some of us will be left wondering where they spent the last four years at all. WENDY: But no matter where we end up after we go home today, I want you to promise me some things.
WENDY: I want you to promise me that you'll not only be successful, but happy. WENDY: That what you do with the rest of your life is something that you enjoy. It's something that makes you proud, and something that makes you eager to get out of bed in the morning. WENDY: Because while money is important, especially in this day and age, it's equally as important to value your life and what you do with it. WENDY: So please promise me that you'll find some way to be happy.
WENDY: And, please promise me that you'll make smart decisions. WENDY: When you leave here, make a game plan and try to follow it as best as you can. WENDY: Be productive, be intelligent, have some common sense. Learn to recognize your own self worth and what you can do for the rest of the world. WENDY: It's not up to everyone else to save the world someday. That's an activity that everyone participates in.
WENDY: Maybe most importantly, I want you to promise me you'll do good things with the rest of your life. WENDY: Whether it makes you happy, finds you love, or is generally stress-free. I want you to be proud of what you've accomplished. WENDY: Go somewhere, do something, make yourself and anyone else you possibly can feel good. WENDY: I don't just mean charity work or volunteering. I mean take that trip you've always wanted to. Apply for the job you've dreamed of having since you were a kid. WENDY: Don't let your past hold you down to where you are. Take off the heavy chains and let yourself soar higher than you ever thought you could.
WENDY: And last but certainly not least, I want you to promise me one more thing. WENDY: I want you to love yourselves. WENDY: Find love, and love yourselves. Be it in the form of a spouse, a roommate, a trusted coworker, or even a pet. WENDY: Know that you matter. Know that you are capable, you are good people, and you will always be loved by someone. WENDY: It's one of the most important things humans can feel, love and acceptance. Make sure you feel loved and accepted, somehow, some way.
WENDY: And with that, all I have left to say is how very proud I am of the classmates and friends sitting in front of me today. WENDY: I want only the best for all of you. I want you to go out and experience life, and make something great. WENDY: Be introspective. Be educated. Be excellent. And, most of all, remember where you came from. WENDY: Remember who you are, and stay true to how you feel. You never know what you can really do until you try it. WENDY: Now, if you'll all join me in switching the tassel from the right to the left...
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[grand ‘pomp and circumstance’ playing in the distance]
[TO BE CONTINUED]
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STAN: Are you sure the robes look okay over everything? KYLE: Yes, Stan, you're just as handsome as ever. KYLE: Is everything all set with your parents? STAN: Yeah, they'll be at dinner. Everything's fine. KYLE: Great. STAN: Do I really look okay, though? STAN: I just feel like my tie is- CARTMAN: Hey, guys.
KYLE: ...What the fuck do you want. CARTMAN: Alright, look. I'm not here for anything bad. CARTMAN: I wanted to say a couple things. STAN: Why aren't you in your robes, dude? CARTMAN: I haven't been to class in months, Stan. I'm not graduating on time. KYLE: Gee. I thought you would have conned your way through that by now. CARTMAN: No, Kyle. I was busy.
CARTMAN: I realized something, while I had some downtime. CARTMAN: You guys weren't really doing anything to hurt me. I was doing everything to hurt you. CARTMAN: I, like, actually tried to kill you guys. That was really messed up. CARTMAN: But I know now that I was wrong. I provoked you. CARTMAN: But I didn't need to. Because you two provoke yourselves. CARTMAN: Why should I bother trying to stir things up when you do already? You two make things worse for yourselves so often, I hardly have to lift a finger. CARTMAN: So I don't want to waste my time bringing you to a hell you're already in. CARTMAN: I'm seeing a therapist to get me back on track to the real goals. College, a career, a stable life. CARTMAN: Far, far away from the two of you.
KYLE: ... KYLE: Shut up. KYLE: Let's go, Stan.
[TO BE CONTINUED]
#askmarshandbroflovski#story post#south park#its not about whether or not a character is capable of redemption#because cartman is absolutely capable of redemption#but he doesnt WANT it#he doesnt give two shits what stan and kyle think of him#hes going to go somewhere else get his GED and be a better person and he doesnt want to think about them anymore#so hes going to cut ties while he can and get the hell out of south park to do something constructive
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happy two year anniversary/last day!
the majority of the finale will be posted today, dont worry. but i just wanted to say a brief thank you to everyone who stuck by me, and for everyone who didnt! its been a wild ride. and i couldnt have finished this askblog without your support. this is truly the biggest project ive ever taken on, and the first! so from the bottom of my heart, thank you guys for following and asking questions, and thank you for making me feel so good about the things that i can do when i apply myself.
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I'm just relieved you're actually having a finale, instead of just leaving open ended tbh
(dude, same. it felt like such a shitty way to drop it last time. this time will be better and conclusive!)
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Is it possible for you to make like a post of all of them in the future? Like their lives as adults.
(depending on how i feel by the end of summer, there MIGHT be a little flash forward to a high school reunion ten years later. MAYBE. i will not guarantee anything. but during the finale, there will be snapshots of the yearbook!)
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Noooooo, why does it have to end?
(because it’s been two years and i’m so, so tired. and, i doubt stan and kyle would keep the blog after high school, anyway.)
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(only a few more days until the finale!)
#askmarshandbroflovski#their last day was friday btw#theyre graduating soon!!#its almost over!!!#south park
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CRAIG: If you two actively choose not to learn your lesson, that's fine. That's your dumbass choice. CRAIG: But do not call me a slut on a public forum. Especially where you fully expect me not to see it, or defend myself. CRAIG: Because I know for a goddamn fact that not only did you kiss me back, but you shoved your stupid tongue down my throat. CRAIG: And I don't think you're prepared to fight me on this. I don't think you have a leg to stand on. CRAIG: So why don't you stay in your own fucking lane, and both of you grow the fuck up.
KYLE: I’m gonna leave him be. KYLE: I think he tried to talk to me about this, like, two days ago. KYLE: It was really awkward, he tried to apologize, and I told him it was fine. KYLE: It’s not like he’s in love with me. Gross. STAN: Exactly, dude. STAN: He kissed you, like, once. It’s not a huge deal. KYLE: Right. He’s just in a weird place in his life, and uses sexual gratification to gloss over some badly ended relationships. KYLE: Like filling a pothole in the road with something other than concrete. STAN: …Right.
#askmarshandbroflovski#south park#smoking//#craig still remembers the password and is disconnecting himself from their bullshit drama
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KYLE: I'm gonna leave him be. KYLE: I think he tried to talk to me about this, like, two days ago. KYLE: It was really awkward, he tried to apologize, and I told him it was fine. KYLE: It's not like he's in love with me. Gross. STAN: Exactly, dude. STAN: He kissed you, like, once. It's not a huge deal. KYLE: Right. He's just in a weird place in his life, and uses sexual gratification to gloss over some badly ended relationships. KYLE: Like filling a pothole in the road with something other than concrete. STAN: ...Right.
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KYLE: I shouldn't entertain this ask, but I will. KYLE: Diagram? STAN: Diagram. KYLE: Craig and Stan are vastly different in two major ways. KYLE: One, appearance. KYLE: Yes, they both have black hair and blue eyes, but if you look closely, even those are different. KYLE: Craig's hair sticks up everywhere, while Stan's falls where it pleases. KYLE: And where Stan's eyes are a deep, ocean blue, Craig's eyes are more grey and icey. KYLE: And obviously, their body types are really different. KYLE: Craig is tall and thin, almost surprisingly so, while Stan is more broad and stocky.
KYLE: Personality-wise, they're also very different. KYLE: And, to me, this is more of a personal preference spot. KYLE: A lot of the time, Craig sits back and lets things just happen. Sometimes he hides or gives up easily. KYLE: Example, the time we went to Peru and he just fucking walked away. KYLE: Or when Jimmy came up with that stupid joke, and Craig told him to let Cartman take credit. KYLE: All while Stan's had a history of sticking up for himself or other people, and fighting for what he thinks is right. KYLE: Like taking over Whale Wars, or intervening when his parents fight. KYLE: In a way you could say they're both stubborn, but for different reasons. KYLE: As this chart would suggest, Craig is a very angry person. While Stan, still prone to anger, just has less of it in his body.
KYLE: Craig is very far from Stan, and Stan is very far from Craig. KYLE: I like Stan because when he puts his mind to something, he can usually accomplish it. KYLE: And he tries hard to make sure other people are happy. KYLE: He can be selfish, sure, but they both can. And Stan may just be the lesser of two evils. STAN: Are you saying Craig is evil? KYLE: No- well... No. KYLE: But I am saying you both have your moments. I just prefer yours to his. STAN: Alright, well. Okay. STAN: I'm glad to hear that.
#askmarshandbroflovski#south park#this does not reflect my views as the author#this is kyles very superficial examination of the two of them#there are elements of truth and elements of judgment but yes thats what he thinks
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KYLE: I didn't get much for my birthday this year, which I don't have much of a problem with. KYLE: My parents told me they're paying half of my tuition, which counts as an amazing present. KYLE: Oh! And Stan got me this. STAN: Ha, it's not an engagement ring. It's a promise ring. STAN: Not the 'no sex until marriage' thing, because let's face it... that's not going to happen. KYLE: (sorry, mom.) STAN: But it's to symbolize, like... we're staying together until we're ready to get married. KYLE: Right. It's like a pre-engagement ring. STAN: Yeah.
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