askrobotnikempire

[askrobotnikempire]

Robotnik's Troop Showcase 0001

Robotnik: "Ladies and gentlebots, I want you to meet your guardians- apologies, I meant to say ENFORCERS! My robot army is unstoppable, and I trust they will carry out my will! Meet... the SWATbots!"

Robotnik: "Shown here is a SWATbot captain, they are able to send commands to larger groups of common SWATbots, which usually only come in black or grey! They can do any task as small as guard duty to as large as hunting down prey! AND THEY ARE NOT TO BE TRIFLED WITH! AND NASTY RUMORS ABOUT THE DESTRUCTION OF A FACTORY ARE -bzzt- UNFOUNDED AND PEOPLE WHO -bzzt-SPEAK OF IT -bzzt- WILL BE SCRAPPED-"

[The feed cuts.]

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[askrobotnikempire]

BUIW 0001 11-11-3228

CODEWORD DETECTED

Robotnik: "SNIVELY!"

Snively: "Yes Unc- Sir?"

Robotnik: "What happened!?"

Snively: "Well, sir, our major SWATbot factory was attacked by some sort of weapon..."

Robotnik: "How did it get past our defenses!? Computer, open cameras from the SWATbot factory!"

[The computer shows the front door of the factory, and a blue streak speeds inside and 12 seconds pass before the streak leaves and explosions come from inside, cancelling the recording.]

Snively: "The only explanation I can think of, sir, is that it was some sort of self guiding laser. It went through every room of the factory and destroyed every SWATbot it could."

Robotnik: "Ah, ye of little imagination, you sniveling baffoon. This can only be the work of Sonic the Hedgehog!"

Snively: "Sir, you said that Sonic Joe was a normal soldier who got used for propaganda by the Mobian miliatry."

Robotnik: "If I told you everything, I would not be a good ruler! I know he was real!"

Snively: "Even still, sir, all records show Joe the Hedgehog was labeled KIA during the tail end of the war, survived by no parents, no siblings, and no spouse or children. And even then, sir, you still took care of all the hedgehogs you could find."

Robotnik: "I know he's returned, Snively: a spirit perhaps, time travel... maybe a clone?"

Snively: "I see sir... I'm going to get the robots started on the repairs."

[Snively leaves the view of the camera.]

Robotnik: "Watch your tone, you insolent brat! I tell you this, I'll get that hedgehog and hang his head on my wall!"

[Robotnik stares at the screen in silence before the feed cuts.]

[askrobotnikempire]

Robotnik PSA 001

[A flash of red before the screen cuts to a large rotund man with a large red moustache and bald head, red flashy suit.]

Robotnik: "Citizens of Robotropolis, all surrounding areas, and the rest of the world! I have come to make an announcement! And that announcement? You are not safe. If I have done my job right, which I always do, everyone is nothing than a robot servant for me! But, something tells me that somewhere there are more people holding out."

[A short pointy nosed man walks up behind the egg-shaped man.]

Snively: "Uncle Robotnik, the new group of SWATbots has been fin-"

Robotnik: "SNIVELY! You sniveling oaf! I am on the air, and when robots can see, or even when they can't, you call me SIR!"

Snively: "Ye-Yes sir. But... you need to instill the new fear-of-you programming into the SWATbots, as you asked for..."

Robotnik: "Ah yes! Perfect! Did you remember to make the extra one?"

Snively: "Yes sir-"

Robotnik: "Omlettes!"

[A short robot shaped like an egg with a button on its head waddles over.]

Omlettes: "Yes boss?!"

[Robotnik slams down on the button with his fist, opening a capsule in the robot's chest and pulls out a staff with an 8-ball on end.]

Robotnik: "Thank you, Omlettes. It's always important that the robots know they are expendable!"

Snively: "Sir... you're still on the air."

Robotnik: "Oop- Um... You think I didn't know that! I want them ALL to know they are expendable! Now, if you have any questions for your wonderful and powerful leader, please send it to 1245 Garbage Dump Lane, Refuseville, Robotropolis! And remember, if you're not Robotic... you will deal with Robotnik! Mwahahah!!"

[The screen cuts to black and red words flash on the screen]

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