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Ligier Richier, Transi de René de Chalon, circa 1545-1547

Source

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友里恵

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シリアルエクスペリメンツレイン Serial Experiments Lain // PlayStation (1998)  

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Artist: Yoshitoshi Abe

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What is “my” Depression like?

When it comes to describing depression to some people, it can be really hard. It’s hard enough to come to terms with things yourself too. Depression is very complex so to try and get to know my little demon a bit better, I’m going to try and describe it in short points.

My Depression Is: - numbing - makes me feel empty - makes me feel heavy - makes my head feel like its full of fog  - makes me feel frustrated at myself over anything and everything - makes me feel inadequate - makes my body physically ache, hurt and feel tired - makes me angry - makes me sad - makes me want to disappear - makes it impossible to enjoy anything - makes me want to have never existed - makes every attempt at productivity an affirmation of worthlessness and inability to succeed at the impossible levels I set for myself - makes me feel like I am just lazy - hits me like a brick to the face at random times - like swimming while exhausted - makes me want to ruin things that are going well because I feel as if I do not deserve them - makes me seek validation in small instant achievements rather than ones that require work or long term dedication (e.g. getting better) Non-exhaustive and I will probably edit this in the future with more.

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Serial Experiments Lain - Official art by Yoshitoshi ABe