assmodeus

[assmodeus]

so i haven't been on here because i low key stopped playing for like a couple of months, but i came back to the game and i'm here to scream about the mental image of mammon searching the entire beach for pretty shells and things to give to MC,,,,,, am crying about him

[assmodeus]

oh fuck yeah natural partners and sexual chemistry with mammon!!!! 88%!!!!! my pisces ass is winning

🔮 match yourself or your oc today!

[assmodeus]

Listen, as much as I want Simeon to be a love interest because he's pretty as fuck and unproblematic, there's one other reason:

His memory cards describing him as 'The Affectionate Angel'

Literally just let me smooch him. Let him smooch me. Please.

[assmodeus]

Kissing Your Best Friend Trend (ft my fav boys)

I straight up forgot I wrote this I've had it for weeks but here you go

For the sake of the headcanons lets just say you can get tiktok on your DDD and thus know about the trend

MAMMON

He has no idea why you keep filming him??? Taking photos???? he doesn't actually quite know what you're doing but he's confused as to why

Little does he know you're getting short clips for the intro to him as your friend and crush in the video

He notices you're kinda skittish on the day you decide to strike, but you keep telling him you're fine so he leaves it alone for now

You have to beg him to record with you because you won't tell him what you're recording. The video even includes him telling you to pay him for his guest appearance as you drag him in front of the camera

You've told him to just stand there and react to what you do, and after a moment of both of you standing and you laughing because you can barely take yourself seriously, you finally just do it

Its a sweet lil kiss - your arms go around his neck and pull him to close the distance between you. His eyes go wide then flutter shut, but just as they do you pull away

He's bright red and trying to speak but only managing disjointed sounds, glancing at the camera while you giggle, almost as red as him

"Are you okay, Mammon?"

He fucking growls and lunges at you to kiss you again

The video goes viral because he's cute but also switches from flustered baby to hot and possessive in like two seconds flat

LEVIATHAN

Straight up doesn't notice you recording him at random points while you spend the day in his room. It's all him gaming, or watching something with you, or rambling about something or other

You're not really nervous because you've already found out from numerous sources that he also likes you, and with that reassurance you just know he's going to be so flustered and cute

You don't tell him you're recording, you just set up the camera while he's not paying attention and then call him over to where you're sat

He sits down next to you and you just go for it, but you make it very quick because you don't want to overload him

Bro stares at you for a second and then collapses backwards, you straight up think he's fainted at first

"Oh my god Levi are you good?" "...I can die happy"

You go to turn off the camera and only then does he notice it

"Were you recording that?!?!"

You only laugh and turn it off, then go to give him lots more kisses

People love it because his reaction is just so cute and hilarious

ASMODEUS

He knows you're recording him the couple of days before. He doesn't know why but he's not complaining, always strikes a pose or at least throws up a peace sign

When you ask him to film a tiktok with you, he's all for it. Kinda disappointed when you say its not a dance, but when you tell him to just sit and close his eyes, he's kinda excited. Makes some joke about keeping things PG so you don't get the video deleted

When you lean down and kiss him, he wastes no time kissing back. His hands go straight to your hair and he's pulling you into his lap

Judging by that, as well as the way your eyes fly open and the surpised noise you make before melting into it, you'd think he was the one who surprised you.

He actually just knew the trend and figured what you were gonna do, don't even try to tell me he doesn't have tiktok

You have to add a small clip at the end of you laughing and him in the background winking at the camera with the text "HE KNEW THE FUCKING TREND also we're dating now"

Goes viral as well because oh how the turntables and also half the comments are people thirsting over him

[assmodeus]

This Obey Me ad keeps coming up on my instagram and it makes me laugh every time. Is Lucifer okay?

[assmodeus]

do events usually not have any content past the end of chapter 2???? I'm new and I've never got that far, why is there nothing past 2-23. There wasn't even a real conclusion. I'm shocked and upset

[assmodeus]

One of my favourite things about Obey Me is the 'app' names. Like

Your Tasks, Phone, Chat - yes that is what they are. very descriptive well done

:D JOBS - Also descriptive but happy!!! excited!!!!!!!

Nightmare - yeah with my luck on the draws it is a fucking nightmare but it's really breaking the trend of telling me what's going on

Akuzon and Devilgram - Ripoff demon versions of amazon and instagram

Majolish - am i missing something or is this just random syllables. What is that supposed to mean

Schedule - sounds descriptive but its just not a schedule of any kind

I refuse to believe that all of these were named by the same person. Its so mismatched and i live for it

[assmodeus]

smooch! (levi x f!reader)

Prompted by everyone agreeing that we need more of Levi not knowing how to handle affection from his crush, and slightly based on the fact that me and my friends always give each other kisses on the cheek and just think nothing of it

Leviathan was absolutely sure you were going to be the death of him.

First, you had come along as an exchange student and had the audacity to be adorable and nice to him. Then, you'd asked him for game and anime recommendations, saying you didn't know much about Devildom media but were excited to try. This had lead to you spending more time than he bargained for in his room, because yours didn't have any sort of computer or gaming console, let alone ones as good as his. He was really having a hard time adjusting to that, because he wasn't used to having anyone in his room for more than a few minutes at a time, let alone a very cute girl.

And now, just when he was starting to get to grips with the fact that maybe his excitement whenever he saw you wasn't just happiness from having a friend who shared his interests, and that maybe he wouldn't mind holding your hand and taking you to concerts and kissing you, you had started getting more and more affectionate. He had spent the last few weeks a blushing, stuttering mess whenever you were around, because you simply had to hug him when you greeted him. And play with his hair and comment on how soft it is. And compare his hand size to yours (was it normal for your hands to be that small? Levi didn’t know, but he found it adorable).

But this... were you trying to kill him?

The two of you had been curled up on the sofa in his room, the bed being off limits due to the fact that it was also a bath - you may be affectionate, but you had often teased the blue-haired demon about his strange choice of bed - with some anime playing as background noise for Levi’s racing heart and thoughts. You were leaned up against him, both of your arms wrapped around one of his as if it were a teddy bear, and your head resting comfortably on his shoulder. Although he was slowly but surely getting used to your quick embraces and momentary ruffles of his hair, this much contact for this long had him on the verge of blowing a fuse. It had been over an hour now, and every time he thought he was starting to calm down, you’d snuggle closer to him, or turn your head to look at him from his shoulder, or giggle at one of the jokes in the show, and his face would flush even brighter than before.

He was working so hard to keep his eyes trained on the screen, even though everything was going in one ear and coming out the other. This had really forced the shutdown of all but emergency functions in his brain, and he felt that if he turned to actually look at you, he would either faint or start crying.

But it seemed Levi didn’t need to do anything at all for you to push him over the edge, because suddenly he felt something that was warm and slightly damp and most definitely a pair of lips on his cheek.

He jumped up off the bed in a strange spasm with a strangled yelp, before sinking down into a crouching position, one hand resting on the place you’d kissed him while the other desperately tried to cover the rest of his blushing face.

“I- I’m sorry?” your voice brought him out of his shock enough to realise what he was doing, and that he had probably pushed you off him in his panic. Your face showed concern, and more importantly, hurt, and Levi was more than kicking himself mentally. He had completely fucked this up - this was probably the best thing that had ever happened to him, better than when he’d won a unique Ruri-chan figurine, and he’d fucked it up by being such a dweeb about it.

“No! I- wait, I mean- you can’t just... ugh!” he stammered out, giving up on words with a whimper as he sank down further to sit on the floor. It was hard to form coherent thoughts when his cheek was still buzzing with electricity, but he knew he wished the ground would just swallow him up.

“I’m sorry,” you apologised again, which really wasn’t helping Levi in any way, “I just... I do that a lot with my friends in the human world, and it felt right? I really don’t know, I’m sorry.”

“You meant that in a friend way?!” Leviathan exclaimed, jumping up to his feet again. 

“Yeah..?” you responded, eyes wide and bewildered as you tried to process what was going on.

“Excuse me,” Levi sighed, hand covering his face again as he started to walk towards the door, “I think I need to go die now.”

His hand was already on the doorknob when it finally hit you what had just happened and what he’d been thinking. You shot up, grabbing him by the wrist just before he stepped out. 

“Levi, wait!” you exclaimed, a little too loud for the distance between you, “I... Just because that was platonic doesn’t mean I don’t want to be more than friends.”

The silence that fell over the two of you was ridiculous - if it weren’t for the thumping of your own heart, you were sure you would be able to hear the cogs turning in Leviathan’s brain.

“Really?” he squeaked out after much too long - though maybe it had only been seconds, you couldn’t tell. You simply nodded, biting your lip nervously with a smile. And now he really couldn’t take it - the cute way you were looking up at him and blushing, the fact that you liked him, everything else that had just happened - the only thing he could do was engulf you in a hug as he buried his burning face in the crook of your neck.

“You’re so adorable,” you giggled, and you felt him whine against you.

“Stop it, I don’t think I can take any more!”

You had to force yourself not to kiss him again after that, because you didn’t want an unconscious Levi on your hands. For a fleeting moment, you wondered how he’d react when you eventually kissed him on the lips. But that wasn’t important at the moment - for now, this was just fine.

[assmodeus]

I'm.... soft?????

[assmodeus]

Anyone else have ridiculous amounts of AP or is that just me?

[assmodeus]

This new event is such a rollercoaster. So much is happening

[assmodeus]

I don't know why but "bleep-bloop music" made me CACKLE

[assmodeus]

WHY THE FRICK DID NTT SOLMARE MAKE SUCH PRETTY AND ADORABLE BOI AND NOT LET ME HAVE HIM

HE’S SO CUTE I-

*cri*

[assmodeus]

mammon bf headcanons

I was not originally planning to do headcanons on here. but i need to discuss my baby my darling the light of my life in a more general way or I might go i n s a n e

he loves PDA but he is so shy and embarrassed about initiating it that he never will

he's also embarrassed whenever you initiate it but he would never in his life tell you to stop

hold his hand in public and he will be blushing ridiculously and incapable of forming coherent sentences, but he'll have the goofiest grin on his face that he just can't get rid of

give him smoochies in front of any of his brothers and he completely stops functioning, because not only is he getting kisses but he's also getting teased by whoever is around

in private its a whole other story, he becomes the clingiest most affectionate baby in the Devildom

he's actually just so psyched that wow his human actually likes him back and he's dating them and he can kiss and cuddle them all he wants instead of fantasizing about it, so you bet he's gonna take advantage of your alone time to snuggle up to you

if he's lying on your or his bed and no one else is in the room, by lord diavolo please get on top of him and give him kisses all over his face. he'll be giggling and breathless and also the happiest demon in the devildom

despite his overconfident facade, this boy needs loads of reassurance, because getting called a scumbag by your family for so long is enough to make anyone a bit insecure

so he'll be happiest if you tell him you love him a lot, or just give him lots of compliments and make him believe that you don't believe a word his brothers say about him

even a simple "I love spending time with you" is a one hit K.O. for this babie

this one is obvious from the game itself but he would be very jealous and protective of you

if you give his brothers more attention than him then he'll get all pouty and dejected, but if they start getting more friendly with you he is in Murder Mode in two seconds flat

you have to apologise to Asmo because he's basically not allowed within a five metre radius of you for the first couple of weeks you date Mammon (slowly but surely, he relaxes it until you can have self care nights again (though Mammon will attend and just glare threateningly from the corner))

he is the avatar of greed after all - he wants you all to himself whenever possible

leading on from that, he loves giving you hickies to make sure everyone knows you're off limit. has honestly debated writing his name in sharpie on your forehead because some demons just can't seem to take a hint

remember when lucifer (i think it was lucifer anyway) said that when mammon takes a liking to someone, they suddenly find themselves surrounded by riches from him? yeah he works real hard to make that happen

he'll take loads of jobs and beg people for money and sometimes do some things of questionable legality to buy you anything he thinks you'll like

on the flipside, he loves being spoiled but he won't pressure you to do that. he'll never deny a gift or if you insist on treating him to anything though, and he'll treasure whatever you get him forever

dating him includes a lot of crazy shenanigans. you better be ride or die because you're getting dragged along to all his money-making schemes and adventures to piss off lucifer.

also you just goof off if you're not causing trouble. tickle fights, playfully annoying each other, stupid dares, play fighting, when you hang out its just loads of fun

[assmodeus]

Thanks for 200 notes on this!!! I did not expect this to blow up but I know this fandom is fic-starved I got through the entirety of the mammon x reader tag on ao3 in one day

period drama

This isn't a ship piece, i literally just got my period and thought "what the fuck would i do about this in the devildom" so i had to write it out of me.

You sit on your toilet, staring blankly at your D.D.D and wracking your brains for the least troublesome answer to your question: which demon brother should you call about your period?

It was your fault, in hindsight, that you were in this situation. You really should have thought about it sooner, instead of forgetting about it until you woke up one Sunday and found blood on your underwear. But, in your defence, your first two weeks in the Devildom had been hectic enough to forget about your more human problems.

Maybe you'd expected to have more time to settle in and get used to the weird food and magic and lack of sun and random people threatening to eat you. But it hadn't even been a month, and you already had a pact with one demon and were working on getting a second in some convoluted plan to check out the forbidden attic. Life here was crazy, yet somehow, trying to figure out which of the six demon brothers in your contacts would be the best to send off to get you some tampons was just as hard as any of the other decisions you'd had to make so far.

Levi and Mammon were immediately out of the question. You just knew Mammon would panic about it, and you had a feeling Levi would tap out the moment you mentioned the word 'vagina'. Asmodeus was a worthy competitor, but you already felt like a bother after asking him for makeup and clothes. And you didn't want to worry Beel about it - that would just make you feel bad for the big softie. So the only two left were Lucifer and Satan.

Satan was more approachable, that was for sure. But he was also more likely to tell the others about it, and you didn't particularly feel like making the blood pouring out of you the number one topic of the day. Besides, the eldest demon had said to contact him if you needed his help. A sigh escaped your lips.

Lucifer it was, then.

You quickly scrolled through your contacts and found the firstborn, finger hovering over the call button as you prepared what you were going to say.

'Just tell him outright. It's not that big of a deal', you thought, bracing yourself, 'if you can ask that girl who hated your guts in high school for a tampon, you can ask Lucifer to go get you some.'

A deel breath. Your finger lowered. Then a sudden thought struck you.

Do demons even get periods?

Sure, you knew none of the brothers did - they were all males. But the idea of having to explain what a period was to a demon that was thousands of years old, and intimidating at that, immediately filled you with dread and embarrassment.

But you really needed those tampons. You couldn't just sit here on the toilet for the next week.

Not allowing yourself to think about it any longer, you pressed the screen and brought the phone to your ear. It rang once. Twice. It kept ringing. For a second, you thought you would go to voicemail, which wasn't that shocking - Lucifer was a busy demon after all. But before that could happen, the ringing stopped and you heard his familiar voice on the other end.

"Hello, (Y/N). Is something wrong?"

You swallow hard before answering.

"I- erm, nothing too serious, but I need your help," you manage, foot tapping anxiously - and somewhat impatiently - on the bathroom tiles.

"Can Mammon not help you? He is looking after you, and I have a meeting with Lord Diavolo soon," Lucifer asked. To his merit, he sounded apologetic, but you hadn't spent the last ten minutes trying to choose which one of them to call only to get sent to someone else.

"I really hate to bother you, but I just-" you struggled to find the right words to explain why Mammon was not the one for this job, "I'm not sure he would handle it well."

"I guess I can't blame you for that," he chuckled, putting you at ease a bit, "What do you need? It is my responsibility to help you during your stay here, after all."

Okay, now the big moment. Just come out and say it.

'But what if he doesn't know what it is?' the annoying voice at the back of your head piped up.

'Then he'll ask. If he does know and I start explaining it'll just be awkward,' you reasoned to yourself.

"I just got my period."

The silence that followed, although it was a couple of seconds at most, felt like decades. You never thought you'd hear Lucifer stammer, but that's what seemed to happen for a moment before he responded.

"I apologise, but I only have a vague knowledge of what that is. Would you mind explaining?"

You heaved a deep sigh, trying to figure out the best way to explain. You were really going to have to do this, huh? You were really about to explain periods to a demon.

"Well, you see- I mean, about once a month for about a week... every human woman..." it took another moment of silence for you to stop trying to find a tactful way of phrasing it, "blood comes out of our vagina."

"Oh... I'm sorry if I misheard, but did you say blood comes out of your vagina?" Lucifer responded, sounding shocked and a little worried.

"That was probably my reaction too when my mum told me about it," you managed with an awkward laugh, "don't worry, it doesn't hurt. Well, not the actual bleeding part. Cramps are a common side affect, but that doesn't really matter right now," you trailed off with another nervous chuckle.

"So, what do you need? Should I call a doctor?" he asked, making you laugh more sincerely at his concern. This whole conversation made him seem so innocent you almost forgot he was a demon.

"Oh, that's fine. I can go about my day as usual most of the time. I just need some tampons, so I don't bleed all over the place," you assured him, before realisation hit you once more, "but I'm guessing you don't know what those are, either."

"I'm afraid I don't."

God, this was just getting worse and worse. You were suddenly very glad you had called Lucifer instead of one of the others.

"They're little cotton balls... well, not really balls, they're more like sticks really, but anyway. They soak up the blood," you tried, hoping he would just go and get you the tampons instead of asking more questions.

"How exactly does that work?"

Brilliant. Superb. You had hoped to avoid mentioning the fact that they go inside your vagina, but that wasn't going to be possible, apparently.

"Well... they, erm..." you steeled yourself, once again resolving to just spit it out, "they go inside."

"Your vagina?" Lucifer asked, and you were suddenly glad you had remembered this problem at the last minute instead of going to see him about it earlier. You were cringing uncontrollably as it was - having this conversation in person would be mortifying.

"Yeah."

"Oh."

An almost unbearable silence followed on, and you really wished you could think of something to say. You had a feeling Lucifer had many more questions, but were glad that he wasn't asking them.

"How long do you think you can hold on, (Y/N)?" Lucifer asked awkwardly, "I will go to the human world now to get some if necessary, but I would really rather not reschedule my meeting."

Reading between the lines, you figured he mostly didn't want to explain the cause for the change to Lord Diavolo, and you really couldn't blame him.

"I mean, I'm not going to die or anything if I wait an hour or two," you started, trying to make sure he didn't freak out, "but I would rather not sit on my toilet for that long."

"Can you not hold it in?" he asked, a hint of annoyance creeping in behind his mostly worried and confused tone. The question made you grimace, but in all fairness, it was perfectly valid from someone who had only just learnt what a period was. Many human guys had the same misconception, unfortunately.

"I don't particularly have any control over it, so no."

Another silence. This was so much more awkward than it needed to be, but really, what did you expect?

"Human bodies are strange."

"I won't argue with you on that one."

Both of you chuckled somewhat awkwardly, the ice broken a little.

"Alright, (Y/N), I'll head up and get them now. I'm sure Diavolo will understand."

"Thank you so much," you said gratefully, "I'll message you with the type I need."

"There's different types?"

"Well, they're more like sizes honestly-"

"Forget I asked."

You laughed little more at this. At least this was as awkward for him as it was for you.

"Thanks again. I really owe you."

"Don't worry about it," Lucifer responded, "this is a necessity for you after all. I'll bring them to your room as soon as possible."

"Thank you," you responded, feeling a little awkward at thanking him so many times, "oh, another thing, Lucifer," you quickly added before he could hang up.

"Yes?"

"Please don't mention this to Mammon. He'll freak out."

"Understood. I'll see you soon."

[assmodeus]

An elaboration on this because I have more reasons we should all simp for Satan. He loves cats and just animals in general but especially cats. He's smart. He absolutely loves starting shit for the sake of pissing people (esp. Lucifer) off so he's not boring. He's very pretty.

Satan is like. The perfect man. Realistically, he's husband material so much more than the others are. Like all of my messages from him are him asking me out to a museum or cafe or something. He doesn't let his wrath get to him in everyday life. He's pretty. Where did it go wrong? Why isn't he the one we're all simping over? I want answers.

[assmodeus]

Also!!! Mammon getting emotional and flustered when MC gives him very genuine and sweet compliments!!!!!!! I need more of this stuff!!!!!!!!!! Give Me My B o y s

Why isn't there more tooth-rottingly sweet fluff of Levi just being super shy and short-circuiting when MC shows him affection when he's crushing on them. Every one I've read is either too short or leads to smut. Am i going to have to write this myself? I'm going to have to write this myself-