asterismjess

[asterismjess]

I FINALLY FOUND IT AGAIN

[asterismjess]

If I switch bodies with Trump I would announce on TV that I was resigning but that JD Vance was an agent of the deep state and that Republicans jobs were to obstruct absolutely everything he does and also that I had lots and lots and lots of gay sex with Roy Cohn.

[asterismjess]

twitter feed simulator

[asterismjess]

I got to see Ghost on Saturday and I keep seeing people talk about post concert depression and I swear I'm still riding the high. How could I possibly be depressed after that level of delight. Knowing that much joy is in the world. The depression will undoubtedly return but or now the world is ok.

[asterismjess]

[asterismjess]

new shirts and shorts are up on my shop!

https://blessedscavengers.etsy.com

[asterismjess]

fuuuuck i just realized that the future idealized version of myself cant exist without current me being the catalyst for change and doing hard things. has anybody heard about this

[asterismjess]

Fixed it.

[asterismjess]

LMFAO

[asterismjess]

We’ve had five babies born this shift (they play a lullaby over the intercom so we’re kept apprised) and one nurse was like “we are being overrun by new virgos” with what sounded like genuine disgust. I think she was joking but I prefer to think she isn’t because that’s funnier.

[asterismjess]

I actually went to the east coast and got to partake in swimming in the Atlantic when it didn't want to kill me or freeze off my tits. If you get the chance go to Blowing Rocks preserve its simply magical.

[asterismjess]

[asterismjess]

people reposting my tumblr posts to other sites pisses me off, but not because they're "stealing my post" or whatever. it's a tumblr post, it doesn't have a copyright. it's not a registered IP. I don't have a patent on saying deranged things on the internet. it pisses me off because you don't know my lore. I'm just a soundbite to you people. I'm not a fully realized character

[asterismjess]

What if water didn't have surface tension and whenever you spilled some, the whole floor of your entire apartment was covered in a 2 micrometer deep puddle

[asterismjess]

[asterismjess]

I don't think the emu "war" is funny btw

[asterismjess]

die girlies reading this 🥰