astralshepherds

[astralshepherds]

once the character pages on my toyhouse can go live, at least the first few, i will also publish a document on this blog about how I write fray, since her character is extremely important both to zhanar and the story I'm writing with my xiv ocs (to the point you nearly cannot talk about zhanar without mentioning fray, and vice versa). i don't change much about fray's character, nearly nothing actually because the way I write her directly draws from her writing in the japanese and german versions of the dark knight quests. even though I don't disregard the english version entirely the japanese and german versions just fit her and zhanar a lot more

[astralshepherds]

if your sister keeps talking shit about photography deer she'll delete her blog

[astralshepherds]

made a little draft for prommy but I think it makes even less sense than the one I made for zhanar -__- oh well it's only a draft. their toyhouse page will make much more sense

[astralshepherds]

adding on to this i do think this is one of her big negative traits along with her recklessness and stubbornness because good lord can she be extremely petty and pretentious about it. she doesn't think she's above everyone and never puts herself first in any way that matters but she still treats herself as different from everyone else and as someone who couldn't possibly be understood. i think you guys might be thinking about yourselves too much...

the thing about people zhanar dislikes is they either happen to be, like, otherwise terrible people who feel no remorse about hurting others or people who claim to understand her and the people she really holds grudges towards fall into both, that being zenos and emet-selch if it wasnt obvious lol. but that aside the latter is something she can get extremely petty and pretentious about like its literally her version of "who the hell do they think they are" and it can come and go but she's often felt it towards not just strangers or acquaintances but some of the people who are closest to her heart

[astralshepherds]

the thing about people zhanar dislikes is they either happen to be, like, otherwise terrible people who feel no remorse about hurting others or people who claim to understand her and the people she really holds grudges towards fall into both, that being zenos and emet-selch if it wasnt obvious lol. but that aside the latter is something she can get extremely petty and pretentious about like its literally her version of "who the hell do they think they are" and it can come and go but she's often felt it towards not just strangers or acquaintances but some of the people who are closest to her heart

[astralshepherds]

rough draft ^_^ gonna sleep now

[astralshepherds]

concept art for the oc story I thought of...? i didnt care about making these look good just wanted to get my ideas across. i have ideas for 4 other characters but i havent sketched them yet...also none of them have names yet except the first girl. she's called utahime ("diva"/"songstress")

[astralshepherds]

I call their relationship "romantic in a way" first and foremost but it's really platonic and romantic and sexual and something else entirely. the lines blur

really the way zhanar acts around fray is different because of how they know each other and not because of their relationship being romantic in a way, when it comes to everything else zhanar acts around fray pretty similar to how she would act around friends and that's exactly why i dont like describing their relationship with any traditional romantic terms... I'm not particularly averse to it when it comes to other relationships i write but frayzhanar are just not like that. theyre a bit pretentious about it too (when I act like theyre super special that's cause they also think their relationship is super special) but its ok... they dont like the concept of pda but they still hold hands in public because it's different to them

[astralshepherds]

really the way zhanar acts around fray is different because of how they know each other and not because of their relationship being romantic in a way, when it comes to everything else zhanar acts around fray pretty similar to how she would act around friends and that's exactly why i dont like describing their relationship with any traditional romantic terms... I'm not particularly averse to it when it comes to other relationships i write but frayzhanar are just not like that. theyre a bit pretentious about it too (when I act like theyre super special that's cause they also think their relationship is super special) but its ok... they dont like the concept of pda but they still hold hands in public because it's different to them

[astralshepherds]

im using someone else's mod to test it out so im gonna make my own sometime later but first look at height accurate frayzhanar. do we like them

[astralshepherds]

sorry i keep putting them in gridania but at least theyre gorgeous

[astralshepherds]

bro look who's back from penumbra purgatory

[astralshepherds]

and the thing is that zhanar still not being able to just be honest with herself with anyone except fray, who literally knows every part of her, isnt to say that zhanar is the kind of person who is so fake that she even has to put up a front with some of her dearest friends just to seem more bearable. she does eventually allow herself to be fully honest with more of her loved ones but unfortunately having people who are very dear to you does not automatically fix your mental health. she has to put in the effort and she did actually did that with fray too! but imo fray definitely gave her a big push in that regard

[astralshepherds]

I SAW THE ZHANAR POST im curious abt how she acts around people she loves... that being diff between romantic(?) with fray or with family members or with friends. how does she view displays of affection be it giving or receiving. what's something she does that you just know she cares deeply abt someone if she does it

around those she loves she is generally more clingy, more cheerful and can be more honest with herself, more than usual at least... because she does put up a bit of an act in public settings, sort of to be more of a "picture perfect hero" and put a gap between her and people who she's not yet close to, but with those she is close to she can put all of that aside.

she is extremely extroverted and thus she loves to be around others, it will also be pretty obvious that she loves being around others as well if that makes sense? like, she'll pay attention to everything someone is saying no matter how long it takes or if they mess up, she'll sit close to them, she'll act playful or teasing and she'll go along with activities the other had in mind even if it's as simple as drinking together

with fray... even though I do describe their relationship as romantic in a way, i don't think either of them really have anything traditionally romantic in mind when spending time with each other. the way zhanar acts around fray is different for another reason though, and that being that she has no choice but to be honest with the both of them. fray knows zhanar to the point they even know things zhanar likely doesn't, so there's really no point in trying to seem unknowable to them, they can see right through it. that aside she is rather clingy with them all the same and will smile even more than usual

when it comes to family is where it gets a lot more different, at least outside of family-like dynamics with no actual relation. because she is a sort of older sister figure to the twins for example, but she acts towards them the way she would with friends. when it comes to biological family, though... she is a bit clueless. the only family she remembers and would meet up with as an adult is her sister, and their relationship is a bit soured by 1. zhanar's bad memory of her early years 2. the fact that the two were never that close. as children they spent more time apart, and even though zhanar thinks fondly of her sister/vaguely remembers her admiring her sister from far away they rarely saw each other again once they grew up. so... she's not the best with family interactions is what im saying. she freezes up, because this SHOULD be someone familiar she is interacting with, but it feels like she's talking to a stranger

as for displays of affection! she reacts extremely fondly and gives them very often. like i said she's pretty clingy with her loved ones so she'll be sitting close to them for example, but she would also be hugging them or holding their hand or leaning on their shoulder/back (assuming she isnt too heavy for the other person, if she is she's doing it to be purposefully annoying LOL). generally if she does any of that you can tell she absolutely loves the other person because even though she generally appreciates the presence of others she would not be doing all that unless she's really comfortable with and close to the other. sometimes said closeness can be based on how she perceives their closeness, for example on that relationship chart her relationship with graha is that he considers her a friend and wishes they were more close BUT she already considers him a close friend, so if she hugged him for a long time or something he would probably be surprised at first, wouldn't mind though

[astralshepherds]

I do really want to talk about more lighthearted parts of zhanar's character thoughhhhh ones that point out her relationships and how she acts within them or really just how she is with the little things in life or similar things so if anyone could prompt me...? :)

[astralshepherds]

zhanar's character really is just one that feels sentient enough to circle back to itself and slap me in the face huh. she's allll about defining herself as a very specific idea that people view her as instead of seeing her as a full person (because she doesn't feel like one either) so unless im not discussing every single point of her character I'm just coming back to that. ofc it's just how i wrote her and it's not that serious but it's still funny to think about

[astralshepherds]

oh yeah also different idea but i had the thought to give jasima, raven, rákhel, decay and carmina outfits that have a slight bit of a modern touch to them (whatever I'm doing with raven's outfit mostly) or are a bit unconventional in parts (like rákhel's layered petticoat) yet zhanar would just be in her regular armor with nothing unconventional or personalized. the symbolism gets a bit lost when you consider that ardbert and fray also wear regular armor but you get what my intentions were right