athenuspenus

[athenuspenus]

A lot of men are confused about this because they were taught one-size-fits-all rules about how to treat women instead of rules based on consent. Religion could very likely have played a part in that.

For example, when a boy is taught about sexual harassment in an abstinence-only way, he's usually taught sexual = bad, sexual harassment = sexual, therefore sexual harassment = bad. He's taught that it's disrespectful to tell a woman that she has nice tits and a nice ass. But then he witnesses women being proud of their tits and ass, women complimenting each other about their tits and ass, and sometimes even men giving those compliments and having those compliments welcomed. He may come to the conclusion that everything he was taught was a lie and that women actually like having sexual things said to them. Women object to comments on their tits and ass from random strangers, from someone with power over her, in a professional setting, from someone who she's already told to leave her alone, when she's trying to be noticed for something else, when it's said too many times, or when she hasn't indicated any interest in receiving comments like that. What they're objecting to is the lack of consent.

There's also the rule that a man shouldn't be rough with a woman. It is true that he shouldn't be rough without her consent, or for the purpose of maintaining his dominance, or in a way that hurts her, or in a way that triggers her trauma from being abused. But many men insist that it's always wrong for a man to be rough with a woman, even if they've both freely communicated that they agree to it, even if she's clearly stronger than him, and even if she clearly chose to join it knowing that the roughness is expected. I remember taking a karate class and the sensei had to remind the beginner men to stop going easy on the black belt women.

[athenuspenus]

me: uh oh! if i fail to block any more of these spells, the evil wizard will take over my mind and make me suck him off!!! i need to be careful, i can feel it working already...

the evil wizard trying to blow my head off with lightning bolts: that's not what I'm trying to do

[athenuspenus]

the urge to say some petty shit like "should we call congress? the president?" whenever someone tells me they hate cheese cake

[athenuspenus]

junk food is always better than no food

I’ve met people who will actually argue against this (and I suggest just blocking anyone who does) but if your choice is between going hungry and getting fast food or snack food….PLEASE JUST FEED YOURSELF. No food is actually bad enough that it’s better to skip eating entirely. Malnutrition is more dangerous, more immediately, and more long-term than any consequences of eating a damn twinkie or a cheeseburger.

[athenuspenus]

like have a relationship on agreeable terms. thats healthy and hold ur partner to account if they tread over your boundaries maliciously or without regard for yourself but while the terms of a relationship you lay out may be static you and your partner are not. these boundaries exist in a poly relationship too, you can still betray trust and you can still cheat depending on the structure you have found yourselves agreed on. if someone finds they dont want a monogamous relationship anymore it is okay if thats not for you, you should express that and you are not compatible if this is the case no wild compromises or requirements that would keep either of you miserable. thats life and it sucks and you can mourn a relationship that hasnt worked out! but the second you turn around and start slandering that person as well as poly and generally queer relationships then maybe a little something else is going on???

[athenuspenus]

I get real "I'm at soup" vibes from some media crit

[athenuspenus]

i think some of the problem is that people link sex drive to attraction. like i have a high sex drive but my sexual attraction to other humans is minimal to the point that i can identify somewhere on the greyace scale comfortably, but i've known people who have low sex drives and experience high attraction to others. also some people just have incredible vibrators and don't want to get another human involved regardless of attraction level. destroying heteronormative thinking means we also need to destroy the bullshit they've made up about relationships and sex

as someone who is both poly and aroace, it's insane to me that whenever someone brings up that aroaces can date allos that some idiot has to say some shit like "oh yeah because your allo partner can have sex with someone else." oooor sometimes sex just isn't a dealbreaker for some people and not all allos feel the need to be having sex with other people

[athenuspenus]

as someone who is both poly and aroace, it's insane to me that whenever someone brings up that aroaces can date allos that some idiot has to say some shit like "oh yeah because your allo partner can have sex with someone else." oooor sometimes sex just isn't a dealbreaker for some people and not all allos feel the need to be having sex with other people

[athenuspenus]

"he's a bottom bc of x" "he's a top bc of y"

he's a bottom bc thinking about him getting fucked in the ass is hot!!!

[athenuspenus]

"vampires will never hurt you" please don't say that

[athenuspenus]

^^^^character dynamic i need to do more with .EVERYONE SEES YOUR WORTH EXCEPT FOR YOU💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥

[athenuspenus]

if you kill yourself the fascists win

[athenuspenus]

Had to unfollow this one person on here cause they just would not stop making posts about how transfems on e getting periods is just made up symptoms and like, I don't have definitive proof I only have my and others experience but like how do you, as someone who is not on e, who has access to the same amount of studies looking into this with decent sample sizes as I do (none), feel so confident to say it's all just placebo and made up ? What makes you so confident ? Cause I gotta say after almost two years of nearly right on the dot once a month suddenly feeling nausea all week, taking the most unbelievable shits, feeling all my organs cramp, and having mood swings out the ass which always just so happens to line up with when the two people with uteruses in my house also get their periods, I feel like I have more data to work off of than you do

[athenuspenus]

i only want them to have sex because it actively harms them both

[athenuspenus]

when it’s almost my period so everything hurts and i get zombie levels of fatigue and my brain isn’t working and i want to get my life together and i want to die and i hate everyone and i love everyone and i wanna crank my shit and the dysphoria gets so bad that i can feel my body dying all around me last unicorn style and as if that wasn’t enough i have to sleep on my stomach for 7 days straight

[athenuspenus]

(if you use many of these interchangeably but have one you use more than the others, try to select that, but there are options if you use different options interchangeably)

[athenuspenus]

Little bit funny how people's dislike of Harry Potter has now lapsed into like complete and total dismissal. The other day I was at a flower show and the theme for the displays at this particular flower show were book themed. And of course an admiring crowd went round and did the circuit of displays, ooh-ing and aah-ing at various renditions of The Railway Children and Little Red Riding Hood and taking photos. All extremely cool. And then they got to the Harry Potter section and there was just a complete blank look on a lot of people's faces. They didn't even comment like with the other displays, they simply walked by giving each other what-the-fuck-is-this shrugs. My sister is getting offered the opportunity to go to Harry Potter World by her college for art purposes this year and she said people were so distinctly unpsyched by even the offer of a very cheap coach trip and abysmally low priced tickets that they were already counting themselves out of the trip months in advance. There are stores with discount Gryffindor lunchboxes and scarves piling up desperately by the masses. Little stickers on them denoting price drops. Some stickers on top of others. Nobody gives a fuck about Harry Potter. It's all terribly exciting. I hope the HBO show is the nail in the coffin and we can finally put this shambolic corpse to a stake through the chest rest