atlantisalien

[atlantisalien]

childhood is asking your parents to go to mcdonalds but they say no because “we got food at the house”

adulthood is going to mcdonalds despite having food at the house, but not getting a drink at mcdonalds because you got drinks at the house 

[atlantisalien]

You’re teleported to 44 BCE Rome in your everyday street clothes. You’re brought before Caesar and he believes you might be from the future, hoping to bring him fortune. One day he questions you, asking “How Do I Die?”

[atlantisalien]

kids, when you’re choosing your college schedule, you’ll hear a voice saying “just take the 8AM class. it won’t be that bad. you’ve done it for this long” that’s the devil talking

[atlantisalien]

me, at a job interview: I love wage labour, the alienation of the worker from their product, socioeconomic oppression and working my entire life away into dust! haha hire me

[atlantisalien]

do you ever think about how cool it would be to be crazy rich bc you could scroll through Tumblr and just slam dunk all these go fund mes to 100% without a second thought? you get a car, and you get a power wheelchair, and you get rent, and you get surgery for your dog, and and and and

[atlantisalien]

Fuck the queue function. I’m hitting y’all with four straight hours of whirlwind shitposting followed by eight days of radio silence.

[atlantisalien]

if he has abs he doesnt care about you

[atlantisalien]

I JUST FUCKING RAN OVER TREVOR

[atlantisalien]

Customers who get angry when I read them their total cost are so compelling to me. Take charge of your narrative, Janice. Be the hero of your own story. You are the one who is purchasing $113.67 worth of adult zen coloring books, Janice. It’s not me you hate, Janice. It’s not me.

[atlantisalien]

light yagami…….didnt deserve a goth gf

[atlantisalien]

spongebob critical

[atlantisalien]

hey straight people if an lgbt+ person asks you not to call them queer dont call them queer

[atlantisalien]

[atlantisalien]

a flat-earther just followed me and i literally blocked them…….. i really am that petty

[atlantisalien]

I feel like Hozier and Lorde are a lot alike in that they both reside on a seperate plane of existence and decide to every now and then visit our realm to bless us with their presence and music only to immediately retreat back into the moors of their homelands to dance with the Old Gods

[atlantisalien]

Class discussions are fun until u find out ur classmates are racists

[atlantisalien]