My personal writing blog for memes and occasionally my writing journey with fanfic and original fictionđŤNonbinary, 31, they/themđŤ
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switching gears and working on a one shot for Xavier, star boy needs some love
#writing#writblur#love and deepspace#ao3#fanfic#lads fanfic#did I mention he was the reason I downloaded the game?#even though sylus is my main now
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i think my love for the âdied and came back wrongâ trope in media is that it feels like a very accurate representation of severe trauma where you are alive now, but you died once and you came back and you came back so different that you arenât anymore. youâre something else.
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Insomnia abound, working on a sleep token fic with some morning tea, let's goo~
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trying to work on a sleep token fic, just keep getting stuck on other shit đ
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I will carve the life I want for myself in earnest, damned the sword of Damocles run me through
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destined to chase sunsets in different skies.
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Louise GlĂźck, from a poem titled "Blue Rotunda," featured in Averno: Poems, originally published in 2006
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slowly I'm becoming a storehouse of all the ideas i keep abandoning
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Richard Le Gallienne, âTo A Mountain Springâ
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finally crafting the Lies of P x AMR fic I've been sitting on, I've restarted twice out of dissatifation (and wanting to get farther in my playthrough of LoP...)
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Stay--Sylus/MC Oneshot
MINORS DO NOT INTERACT
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Rating: Explicit
Words: 3,787
Tags: Fluff and Smut, Soft!Sylus, Situationship to Lovers
Summary: You take a much needed vacation, and run into Sylus while you're out, determined to finalize what exactly is going on between you two. Smut ensues, and feelings, kinda
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Ever since looking into your origins, there was no doubt your life had gone in an unprecedented direction. Your job kept you steady, helping the public gave you purpose. The mystery of you lingered at the fringes of it all, just out of reach. But Sylus waited for you regardless. Even if the two of you never crossed paths again, heâd help you in any way possible. Of course, heâd been too brash, too driven by his emotions to actually talk to you properly at the start. And when you spilled the vitriol of Calebâs supposed death onto him, he realized his mistake.
Heâd found you again, and so had they. And it hurt him, knowing they may have done any number of things to you, and he wasnât there to stop them. Not in the arena, where you took charge and swore to get the both of you out. Not to mention how you seemingly had no memory of ever meeting him.
In the time after, the shifting of seasons and independent lives moving ever forward, that bond had shifted from a dagger to something more tangible. Softer, debatably even playful. And then another shift materialized.Â
Of a glass tank, and people who saw you as nothing but a force to prod at. To be contained within any means necessary, regardless of hurt. And Sylus, desperately pulling you out of the dark. Everything was a jumbled mess of memories, any resurfacing moments causing splitting migraines, like an overloading CPU. Your job performance hadnât slipped, but everyone could see the exhaustion carved into your face.
You needed to get out, even for just a little bit, and with Autumn on the horizon something in the air made it feel like the perfect time. Maybe it would help with the migraines. To say the captain was surprised when you walked into her office holding PTO papers was an understatement.Â
âYouâre actually letting yourself take a break? Thatâs good.â Jenna approved them without a fuss, âI didnât want to push you, but youâve looked like youâve needed it for some time.âÂ
You stifled the heavy handed sigh caught in your throat. She always was perceptive to these kinds of things. Jenna handed back the approved forms, âMind if I make a recommendation? Thereâs a retreat that just opened up an hour out of Linkon, massages, hot springs, you name it. If you want I can give you a pass for it. The bus line in Linkon goes out that way all the time, it's gotten popular with tourists recently.â
You couldnât hide your surprise at the gesture, âAre you sure? That sounds really expensive, as nice as that would be.â
âY/N, think of it as a reward for all your hard work these last few months. Youâve earned it.â
Yet that notion didnât sit well in your gut as well as it should have.
The spa itself was bigger than youâd expected, but a welcome relief after the long drive. Jenna had gone out of her way to schedule for you, while you insisted on finding lodging at the hotel just across the street. You hadnât realized the chaos of the city until the silence in the air sank into your bones, a welcome notion. The front lobby was unexpectedly sparse, even for a weekend, with only a few clients walking around grabbing a drink from the juice bar off to the side, or heading down a hallway that led to a pair of locker rooms according to the signage.Â
According to the front desk, you had both a spa treatment and massage on the itinerary, with the rest of your time to be spent however you wanted. Youâd noticed how greasy your skin felt by happenstance, and requested a facial as a follow up, hoping it helped with the eye bags you spotted in the mirror that morning. They handed you a sized white pair of scrubs, and a key for one of the lockers to put your regular clothes in, which you dutifully changed into. It didnât take long to notice just how run down you looked as you checked your reflection, even your posture screaming hey, I need a damn break!Â
Except you had never quite been able to grasp what that meant. The few scars that stuck around from particularly tough fights were fault lines across your figure, each with a story. When it had been your first big battle, the first near fatal mistake that earned you a lecture from Zayne, the first fight you gave your all to save a civilian, even when it left you in the hospital for weeks. Battle scars you tried your best to be proud of. It meant you were working hard, so no one would have to be afraid like you had been fourteen years ago.
But you had been afraid before then too, so much so it shook your very being. And yet here you stood. A little hurt, maybe a few bruises, but present nonetheless.Â
Letâs try enjoying ourselves, yeah?
No coworkers, just you and some time away.
You were so focused on trying to keep yourself psyched up though, that you werenât paying attention to a fellow client in the hallway funneling back into the main lobby, almost running into the tall figure.
âOh shit, sorryââ Your rapid apology cut off as you looked up, and met the familiar garnet eyes of Onychinusâs leader.
âWhat a surprise to see you here, kitten.â
âI could say the same to you, skye. â You were used to this by now, and also stubbornly refused to let Sylus see you slip up this makeshift identity in a public space. The two of you fell into step down the hall, taking your time.Â
âBusiness or pleasure?â
âPleasure, paid for by business.â His expression was playful, though his eyes softened whenever he stole a glance your way.
âThatâs fitting considering everything you do for the association. How is your vacation so far?â
âItâs just started actually. Iâm here for the next few days.â
You explained how you were staying in the hotel across the way, Sylus listening with intent, a gentle smile in silent response.Â
âReally?â You caught on to his attitude like clockwork, âSo am I. I needed to get out of the N109 Zone for a little bit myself.â
âMr. Boss man getting stir crazy? Never thought Iâd see the day.â Quickly you rushed up a few steps ahead, a mockingly quizzed look in your eyes, âOr, are you secretly here on a business deal?â
By now you two were back in the lobby, and after you checked the time of your appointments, deciding you had enough wiggle room to relax in the lounge with Sylus, or Skye, as he was known here, obviously.
âI hate to disappoint you, but no. This is purely for recreation. Luke and Kieran are keeping an eye on things back home.â
Youâd both taken over the closest chairs, as you stretched across the back to try and unstiffen your spine, to no avail. Chatter fell to nothing in particular, the two of you simply enjoying the others company as you fell into a rhythm. It almost felt normal, it was kind of ridiculous.
Of course, all the things left unsaid were still hidden away.
Things between you were a quagmire. Not officially an item, as neither of you had probed the topic, but a very particular night spent in one of Sylusâs safe houses a few months back easily called into question.Â
It wasnât your fault the memory of his flushed face came into view whenever you needed to loosen up. When you had first seen him like that, the everything became almost dreamlike. In what world did any of what transpired make sense?Â
The leader of Onychinus, blushing and flustered, his hands handling you with a surprising gentleness. A feeling your gut told you heâd had the whole time, youâd both been too hasty in action to catch from the start,
You couldnât pretend you didnât miss it, even if you tried. The warmth of his hands on your skin, the way heâd whispered precious nothings as the tension ramped up. Lips falling from your mouth to your neck and lower still. Much much lower.
 He wanted more. You knew that, and heâd made himself clear as crystal. But it wasnât his move to make, in his words.Heâd hit his timer of the proverbial chess clock between you two ever since.Â
âI refuse, kitten.â He said two weeks later, on a random call late into the night, when you texted him about being unable to sleep. âForcing you into this isnât an option.â
âBecause you donât trust me?â
âI trust you with my life, Y/N. But Iâm not about to make you what we have into something you may not want.â
His voice had been gentle then. Careful, almost scared. If he was going to lose you, heâd accept all the pain it would bring, no questions asked. It had almost happened once before, when he took a joke of yours too seriously and disappeared for weeks. It took him coming back into your life, bruised and tired, for him to understand you werenât going to just let him go.
Yet you knew this was getting to him, the waiting. Because it was gnawing at you too, when no one was watching.
âY/N? Weâre ready for you.â The receptionist voice broke the mood, leaving you a tad fluttered, but with enough grace left to leave a message,
âAfter Iâm done here, Iâll be free for time. What room are you staying in?â
â5th floor, room 503.â Yours was the floor below, in 402.
âPerfect. Iâll meet you at 11pm sharp. Donât get up to any trouble before then.â
He matched your own subtle cheeky grin, âItâs a date then. See you later, kitten.â
You had severely underestimated just how much youâd need this sort of a break, every muscle both relaxed and aching by the time all of your appointments were over. Youâd had enough energy to change back into your regular clothes, before falling into a tired pile of bones back in your hotel room, no less thankful.
You took the time to catch up with Tara, who was curious about your vacation, and slightly disappointed to learn it wasnât anything crazy, or that you werenât lucky enough to get a date.
Tara:Â Imagine if Skye showed up.Â
Well this was a little awkward. You didnât feel comfortable telling her anything though, considering the truth. That would be a whole box to unpack, and would probably get you a jail sentence for cavorting with the biggest criminal in the N109 Zone.
Me:Â Doubt it, but it would be pretty funny. And that fruit really was refreshing on the last team outing..
Tara:Â I mean, heâs pretty handsome too, so thatâs a bonus right?
Me:Â Handsome doesnât automatically mean open to dating, Tara. Beside, our line of work doesnât exactly lend well to serious relationships. I wouldnât want to leave a partner behind like that.
Yikes. And here you were, talking out your ass like you werenât doing some crazy shit later.
âI am a terrible person.â You muttered, âSorry, Tara.â
A few candid photos for Moments and the group chat with Jenna and Tara rounded out the short exchange, Your thoughts falling to that elusive night again. It didnât take long for you to be slipping out of your jeans and pleasuring yourself, letting yourself get lost in the memories all those months ago.Â
Focus, kitten.
It was all too easy, stifling the moans threatening to escape your throat with one of the pillows.Â
Do you want it, kitten?Â
You just said yes.
I hope youâre serious.
You had been, completely. There was no denying it anymore. You wanted to feel his touch again, the way he worshiped every part of your body like the marble statues of Athens.Â
Because I donât think I can hold myself back anymore.
Youâd caught how his voice wavered as he reached out, the scant moments before as you stroked his blushed face, the man so entranced he hadnât registered the gesture. Youâd stayed quiet, but were sweaty and hot by the time you got off, the action hollow.
You scrolled through social media for the next hour before finally shooting him a text, hoping he wouldnât mind being a little early. The need was going to eat you alive.
Are you still at the spa?
After ten minutes, you got an answer, Iâm heading back to the hotel now. Why? Couldnât wait?
Oh, that bastard. Heâd sent one of his usual crow emotes to tease you, a cute little question mark floating above its head.
Fuck it.
You hit the call button, holding your breath till you heard the click on the other end.
âKitten?â
âIâŚâ The words sounded so desperate falling from your lips. Sure you were horny as fuck, but hollow too. In the quiet moments, of hard days. When the burden of the knowledge you carried was too much. And heâd carry it all without even asking for a thank you.
Heâd held you gently then, and by god you needed it now. Memories of a phone call youâd had rang in the back of your mind.
Rest if youâre tired, cry if youâre sad. Donât do it if you donât want to.
Iâll be there, every step of the way.
And he was. From the gladiator's ring in a life you knew only in fractures, to the glass tank he pulled to safety from, twice. Heâd been there, watching over you as best he could. Your chest was so very warm.
âI need you.â You sounded like some down bad for the enemy kind of idiot from a soapy romance movie. And you didnât care at all.
âThen come see me. Iâll be in my room in just a moment.â His words were feathers dancing in the breeze. Like home, for the first time in so long.
âOkay.â
Once youâd shut the door closed, youâd noticed Sylus lounging on the desk chair of the hotel room, book in hand. He took note of your mixed expression immediately, coming over to embrace you.
âAre you alright?â
You found yourself desperate to save face, âYeah, yeah Iâm good.â And it was true, really. You just werenât sure how to show him that.
âIâm really glad to see you.â You reached up and pulled his face closer to yours, granting a light kiss, âI wasnât kidding about what I said.â
He understood without words, taking you by the hand to pull you fully into the room, as you pushed him down onto the bed in a reverse of last time. With your left knee in between his legs and a free hand gently pulling on the tie still around his neck.
âThen donât hold back.â
You straddled him, gesturing for him to get on his elbows so you could continue kissing him while slowly rubbing yourself against the obvious tent in his pants.
âTeasing me? Really?â His whispers were honey in your ears,
âBehave.â You started to unbutton his shirt, sure to run your fingers gently over his abs once you were done. He had zero right to look as good as he did, even considering the faint scars evident in the light crisscrossing his skin.
He did his best to keep himself in check, light desperate moans from his lips filling the air.Â
âArenât you worried any neighbours might hear?â You teased, taking a moment to slip your shirt off and throw it to the side, and do the same for his with some help.
âI made sure to book this room because there arenât any.â
He brushed his hands across your chest, arms, anywhere he could reach, already drunk on you. You reached down and started planting kisses along his exposed skin, and a few playful bites that clearly sent him reeling.
âY/N..â
You did it once more, for good measure before pretending to kiss the pain away and admire the red halo of marks, âIs there a problem?â
With some adjusting, you leaned back and started unbuttoning your jeans, before awkwardly pulling them off and throwing them to join the pile on the floor.
âNot at all.â Heâd gained his composure for a moment, â Iâm just enjoying the view.â
You slowly grinded against him harder than before, causing him to ball up a section of the sheets in his hands. In short, you were driving him completely insane. Youâdâve laughed if it wasnât so incredibly attractive to watch him unwind like this.
âYouâre a menace, you know that?â
You stopped to admire him, before unbuttoning his pants and rubbing a hand against his tented boxers, eliciting a low moan as he reflexively jutted forward towards your hand.Â
âSo youâve said.â You bend down, planting a hard kiss on the pulse point of his neck, âDo you want me?â
âOf course .â The last word came out a gasp as you tugged roughly at his waist band.Â
âThen take it off. Be a good boy for me.â
Fuck.
You almost didnât recognize yourself. But seeing him this hot and bothered was worth every second.
You got up for the moment to let him do so, slipping a hand under the fabric of your underwear to gauge where you stood too. Saying you were wet was the understatement of the century; you were soaked, as if your body couldnât keep up with the sheer anticipation of it all.   Â
Stupid horny bullshit.
And fuck, even though youâd already seen him once before, you still managed to under estimate his size. Youâd be fine of course, as long as you took things slow at the start. Youâd have time to get used to him eventually.
Sylus for the moment couldnât help himself at the sight of you, pulling you in for a rough kiss and a claiming mark just above your shoulder, the sensation intense enough a desperate moan of your own filled the room.Â
He kept going, kissing any section of skin just like you had, multitasking to unclasp your bra and toss it aside, giving enough pause so you could slip out of your last remaining garment. You expected him to lose it, even for just a moment, yet he kept composed, even as you noted the slight tremble in his fingers as you moved to let him lead for the moment.
âYou wonât break me, Sylus.â You brushed the palm of your hand against his cheek, as he leaned into the gesture lovingly, âIâm not so fragile.â
âI know.â He grinded slowly against your entrance, as you laid down fully with hooded eyes to lose yourself in the sensation, âBut a person can never be too careful.â
And they say romance is dead.
Perhaps itâs just hiding in the most unexpected places.
He was true to his word, so very gentle, and you eventually were encapsulated by him as he began to move at a steady pace. He left hickies on your neck and shoulders, just on the precipice enough youâd have to keep yourself from half screaming from pleasure from the combination once he sped up. Intense yet soft motions befell the both of you, willingly getting lost much like you had the first time.Â
âSylusâah!â Pleasure flooded your senses, but you were still determined to get your thought across, even as he kissed your forehead and slowed enough to let you ride the orgasm out, before starting back up.
âYes?â The way he panted against your skin like a creature in heat was a stunning juxtaposition to his sweet words,
âStay with me. No matter what.â Somehow, youâd had the feeling youâd said something similar before, a long time ago. Or maybe, in the future? You werenât sure, but the words felt right. And the light of recognition that sparked in Sylusâs ruby eyes for a split second said enough.
âEven if fate itself tries to tear us apart?â
âEven if. I wonât stand for it.â
His smile made your heart flutter.
âIs that an order, miss?â
Another orgasm rocked your sensesâ, making the lines of everything blur for a brief moment. Your head was swimming, and it was becoming increasingly hard to focus. But you needed to answer him, let him know you meant it.
âYeah.â The words tumbled out in a half-moan, â And Iâm holding you to it,â Heâd rolled his hips, hitting deeply for a brief moment, â Sylus! â
Sylus chuckled low by your ear, part of you melting at the sound.
âThen, let me see my beautiful loversâ face at least.â
God , hearing him actually say it was breathtaking.Â
By the time he himself was close, youâd switched positions to being on top of him again, the man putting on a condom before you adjusted yourself. He shivered as you settled down, slowly until your nethers met the base of his cock and you slowly got into a rhythm of movement.Â
â Fuck, Sweetie, you are doing so well.â
âTell me how you feel.â You liked being in control, and he loved letting you.Â
You traced a line from the base of his neck, slowly down his chest, âFantastic, ugh , more, please.â He was practically begging for release now, jutting up when he could to meet your movements, harsh waves of pleasure coursing through your body.
âSylusââ You tried catching your breath, âIâm almostâ ahh!â
Another jut, meant to be a response, âI can see it on your face, kitten.â He was starting to struggle now too, his expression oh so soft as he watched you fall apart one last time,
 âJust let go. Let it all go.â
You slowed down as he caught up, all you could do being bracing yourself as he used your pussy as his own personal toy, his name leaving your lips in whimpers, He watched your features soften as he came, trying to get the static in your head to go away so you could move, and when you remembered your legs worked, clean up.Â
You laid against his chest until you mind came back, listening to his beating heart as he held you close.Â
âI think weâve definitely moved into the dating faze.â You surmised, as the two of you soon stumbled, jello legged into the roomâs bathroom. âHell of a way to figure that out though.â
âReally?â Sylus laughed, âI think itâs right on brand for us.â His features softened as the room started to fill with steam from the shower, âAnd I have a feeling you wouldnât have it any other way."
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Latest crosspost with my ao3, enjoy!
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working on a new Sylus/MC oneshot~
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âI dwell in possibilityâ - Emily Dickinson
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