aulisdeer

[aulisdeer]

@mythlived genshin brainrot hours??? did i use the word correctly??

The breeze on Windrise was just as gentle as Iphigenia remembered it to be - a wind that playfully tossed fallen leaves through the air and tousled her hair just enough to send her now-much-shorter strands billowing up in an almost-unflattering way. The statue of Barbatos had hardly seen erosion - she remembered every crevice and broken chip on its base as if it were just yesterday she had played beneath the great tree, even though it had been years. 

The nearest patrolling Knight of Favonius - had they changed the uniform? - paid her no heed, and it was just as well, considering what she was about to do might be frowned upon.

As soon as the portly man is out of sight, turned around a craggy outcrop of rocks, her legs spring her up against the tree, her hands greedily pressing into still-familiar bark as she pulls herself higher and higher into the myriad branches and leaves that form a small canopy over the plains. A place of safety, where slimes were rare and greater enemies of Mondstadt near forgotten. Still, this place held no safety for her. Not in years, nor would it ever be truly safe as long as her father still held his place among the Knights.

Swinging her legs over a sturdier branch, she wonders if the old man has retired yet. She hopes, perhaps a little childishly, that the face she last saw as she hurtled into oblivion, eyes turned skyward with desperation and betrayal, had wrinkled. He had always been somewhat vain. 

The lingering resentment, however, calms as she shifts to lean her back against the heavy trunk, and the scratchy bark catches the fabric of her clothes. The clink of her Vision, embedded in the back of her right glove, grounds her in a sort of reluctant gratitude - for the first god who had saved her. She wouldn’t deny him that appreciation, at least. 

The sun was setting in the sky. She couldn’t dawdle too much longer here, in a wasteland of corrupted happier memories. Walking further along the branch, her eyes are drawn to a scene further away, on the other side of the small lake. Two Abyss Mages - and a poor fellow who seemed to have run into them. 

Perhaps she could be of assistance. If they were a Mondstadt citizen, it would only make her first impression that much more... positive, before the others arrived in due time. 

Twirling in a passing gust of wind, she infuses her own Vision to synthesize a ribbon of wind that carries her towards the Abyss Mages - and as quick and hot as a sharp gust of wind bursting forth from a volcanic rift, a plain black polearm manifests to cleave through one of the Abyss Mages’ shields. In a whirlwind of freely spun thrusts, the Mages are dropped unforgivingly by a particularly strong current into the water... where they drown rather unceremoniously. 

Turning towards the stranger, with her eyes still on the water - still half-wary of a new enemy to spring up from fresh shallow graves - 

“Are you all right?” 

Her hand flexes, twirling the polearm once before it disappears behind her, and the hard stone of the Vision strains against the tension in her wrist as her eyes turn towards-

Oh.

It was.... Patroclus? Her old... 

Never mind. Did he even recognize her? Perhaps she was wrong. 

[aulisdeer]

[Aris] ❛ you can’t sign people up for criminal activity like it’s a bake sale. ❜

"I can and I will. Now, take this bag of.... sugar to Pyrrha. She's... baking. For the... bake sale. She's out and the, ah, usual grocery store isn't open anymore."

The plastic bag really does have sugar in it and Pyrrha really was out of sugar, but where was the fun in normally communicating that? Aris now had the option to risk being caught running drugs, or sniffing crystalline sugar in a suspicious clear plastic baggie.

[aulisdeer]

𝐆𝐎𝐎𝐃 𝐆𝐈𝐑𝐋𝐒 𝐒𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐂𝐄 𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐌𝐏𝐓𝐒 ! ( part one , season one )

❛  you can’t sign people up for criminal activity like it’s a bake sale.  ❜ ❛   i don’t want him back,  he just had a gun in my face. ❜ ❛  i mean i am so tired of almost dying. ❜ ❛  i’m sorry you’re too stupid to understand basic human decency.  ❜ ❛  i’m not proud of my part in everything. ❜ ❛  it’s like, you take your eye off the road, you’re gonna hit a speed bump every now and then.  ❜ ❛   what do you think this is ? little league ?  and you get a trophy just for playing ?  ❜ ❛  i don’t give a damn if you try, you gotta win,  bitch.  ❜ ❛  i want you out.  yeah,  i want you gone now.  ❜ ❛  when did life become this big monster that we just have to constantly feed ?  ❜ ❛  what was that ?  i couldn’t hear you over the sound of your bones snapping. ❜ ❛  why do you have to do that ?  you know,  we were actually having a nice moment.  we were like,  vibing. then you just say something stupid and you ruin it every time.  ❜ ❛  i am a fully functioning adult human. i can take care of myself.  i mean,  sometimes.  ❜ ❛  this ain’t the girl scouts,  you can’t give the cookies back.  ❜ ❛  is that why you bailed in the middle of the night ?  had to get cracking on that to-do list ?  ❜ ❛  maybe take one more minute of conversation before you drop your pants.  ❜ ❛  are you slut shaming me ?  you are on the wrong side of history,  trust me.  ❜ ❛  they’re gonna wanna know what someone like me is doing with someone like you.  ❜ ❛  what are you doing with someone like me ?  ❜ ❛  all that stuff you think you’re keeping from them ?   you’re not. ❜ ❛  man,  you messed up my damn face.  ❜ ❛  it only happened once.  ❜ ❛  i’m tougher than i look.  ❜ ❛  how much is all of this gonna cost ? ❜ ❛  see now,  if i didn’t know you like i do,  i’d think something shady was going on.  ❜ ❛  i’ve never worked so hard for so little. ❜ ❛  it’s not a college internship. you can’t be like “thanks, bye, i learned so much!”  ❜ ❛  god.  when did you get so cool ?  ❜ ❛  you can’t just serve a bitch a mini muffin and invite her to join you in a life of crime.  ❜ ❛  i’m pretty sure j. edgar hoover rocked a feather boa.  ❜ ❛  i don’t believe a word that just came out of your mouth,  how about that ?  ❜ ❛  you’ve always had trouble meeting people and i always thought it wasn’t your fault.  ❜ ❛  he thinks i’m some naive idiot that got taken advantage of.  ❜ ❛  school ain’t in session right now.  ❜ ❛  she knows all those words individually,  but not like,  in a row.  ❜ ❛  i didn’t process a word and then i was too embarrassed to ask again.  ❜ ❛  i did something so stupid and risky that you would’ve had my head examined.  ❜ ❛  i’m sorry,  just to be totally clear  —  you understand that i stole from you, right ?  ❜ ❛  what if i told you i was looking to  –  uh –  party ?  ❜ ❛  dangerous people took advantage of you.  ❜ ❛  how did they take advantage of me ? am i so naive and innocent ?  i must be.  ❜ ❛  they didn’t take advantage of me,  it was a choice.  i wanted to.  ❜ ❛  you have no idea what i have done,  or even who i am.  ❜

[aulisdeer]

IN THE FLESH | STARTERS send a prompt or send ✉ for a random starter. triggers apply.

do you ever get afraid?

you shrink with age, you know, like dried fruit.

i hope they find the bastard.

what’s a little dirt between friends?

people don’t like snoopers.

it was a great responsibility, but we shouldered it quite happily.

you weren’t content with the stories, with what they wrote on the walls.

it was a good bone to chew over, though.

things that happen. things you can’t control.

since when has police procedure made sense?

down the hall. turn left and left again. 

that’s why the officers are armed.

be gentle.

like a fucking rat.

so why’s it so important, anyhow?

you can only cover so many scars with a beard.

don’t waste your energy. it’s going to be a long night.

i gave up praying the morning my father died.

nobody tells me what to do. nobody.

i saw my mother. large as life.

why do they tell lies like that?

you’ve got the resources. dig around.

i’ve seen you before. walking by.

[aulisdeer]

disastrio’s ‘the pin list’ text starters.   below and under the cut, you can find ~100 messages dug up from the pins of the cursed group chat of three international friends. slightly edited for roleplay purposes. spelling errors opted to keep in tact to maintain the Energy™. edit as you please. tw: nsfw, mention of abuse.

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   u should know by now i’m not as much a complete person as i am several sitcom tropes stacked in an anxiety blanket

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   things that should not be present in making spaghetti and meatballs: sparks   [ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   things that were present when i was making spaghetti and meatballs two minutes ago: sparks

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   give it a good deep fry and it’ll make reddit front page

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   you piece of fuck

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   i’m not making this up it’s a real post

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   i just really don’t like the look of american hollywood boys apparently

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   quit trying to post porn [name]

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   what’s deeper than emotional? are you going to /fuck/ the house?

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   i genuinely don’t know what i expected googling that thing but that was not it

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   i legitimately don’t know how you’re expecting me to reply to this

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   i’m setting up my bfu episode

Keep reading

[aulisdeer]

[Pyrrha] ❝ You’re a smooth talker. You’re a smoothie. ❞

@duskwilt

“I... thanks? I would hope so, considering... my entire living is based on my ability to perform. I’m glad you think-” 

She cracks a smile, still catching the sentiment despite her confusion at the method of delivery.

“I’m a smoothie if you’re a smoothie too.” 

[aulisdeer]

[Kyr] "what happened to your hand?"

@duskwilt

“... I got some red hair dye on my hand and it won’t come off no matter how many times I wash my hands, but...”

“It looks like I murdered someone with my bare hands, doesn’t it?” 

[aulisdeer]

[Pyrrha] "Have you ever been to hell?"

... Iphi wonders why anything that Pyrrha says surprises her anymore. 

One moment they could be making avocado bites in the kitchen, the next moment... whatever this conversation was. 

Hell, huh. 

She isn’t familiar with neverending fire, or the kind of eternal frustration and toil that dooms the subjects of stories like Sisyphus’. 

But she thinks... that the razor-thin blade of light that cuts through a bedroom door slightly ajar, the heat of someone unwanted, the searing soreness of muscles too weak to push really anyone around... 

Isn’t that a kind of hell, too?

Her eyes casually flit over to meet Pyrrha’s as she wipes her hands on her apron with a smile. 

“Can’t say I have the privilege of saying I’ve been on that kind of vacation. You?” 

[aulisdeer]

The Witcher Sentence Starters

Today isn’t your day, is it? Yeah, fuck that – kill him with your bare hands if you have to. I killed a rat this morning with my breakfast fork. Have you ever been to hell? Not many of my likeness are left. Wizards are all the same: you talk nonsense while making all wise and meaningful faces. Pretty balads hide bastard truths. You will rule this land someday. I talk to my horse. Your service has been an honour to us all. I haven’t spoken to anyone in three days. I love the way you just sit in the corner and brood. Need a hand? I’ve got two! I won’t be but a silent back-up. Chaos is the most dangerous thing in this world. Listen closely, your survival depends on it. Did your mother fuck a snow bear? You don’t deserve the air you breathe. No matter what you choose, you’ll come out bloody and hate yourself. Sometimes the best thing a flower can do for us, is die. When a wolf crosses a maiden’s grave, a pregnant girl would die before her time. When you live as long as I do, all names start to sound the same. Your kind already swindled us once! It’s my plan, my coin. Not answering questions is a pillar of your brooding charm. Your scent was on her sheets, old ones and new ones. You’re just angry because you lost your chance to be beautiful. Will this work? Answer honestly. Food, women and wine, (…)! How many of these lords want to kill you? I’ve always wanted to know, do Witchers ever retire? Why are you dressed like a sad silk trader? Maybe you should start thinking for yourself. I could torture you so very slowly into compliance. How can you not foresee this? You’re supposed to protect us! All this because male tradition demands it. I abide no law made by men who have never carried any child. You can’t outrun destiny because you’re terrified. You can’t change the world this way. I’ve never been shy a day in my life. The sword of destiny has two edges. I fear I shall die a broken-hearted man. Destiny is the embodiment of the soul’s desire to grow. Let go, you horse’s arse! You’re afraid I’m everything you could never be. Your heartbeat is extraordinarily slow. Nobody smart plays fair. I wish very badly to leave this place forever. When did you last feel happy when you were trapped? The burden of power can be painful. Nobody mentioned anything about impending death. You worry if you blink, you’ll never see her again. When your species is on the brink of collapse, perhaps everything becomes more desperate. Uhm, I’m not sure I’d eat that, good sir. States rise and fall like the tide. You’re the one who’s been staring daggers eer since we arrived. Every time I’m near you, I say more in five minutes than I’ve said in weeks. It’s hard to regret something you didn’t choose. If life could give me one blessing, it would be to take you off my hands. Fine, I’ll just follow the sound of crying girls. It took about five minutes for the lies to start. Think for yourself, it’ll save you a lifetime of heartbreak. There’s far worse things than expulsion. I never wanted to come back here. Look at this place, it’s a joke! The only thing you should do quickly is flee! Not a happy ending after all… They have come from beyond the mountains to destroy the world. Must you always be so fatalistic? It’s time to accept that life has nothing left to give. People linked by destiny will always find each other. Just give me an ale and consider your debt paid. I can’t help but think I was meant to find you.

[aulisdeer]

𝕔𝕙𝕣𝕚𝕤𝕥𝕒 𝕨𝕠𝕝𝕗'𝕤 "𝕔𝕒𝕤𝕤𝕒𝕟𝕕𝕣𝕒" 𝕤𝕥𝕒𝕣𝕥𝕖𝕣𝕤

» Welcome to change pronouns as needed. || Mix of fluffy, angsty, NSFW, etc. «

“ I have belonged completely to no one. “

“ I have even understood their hatred for me. “

“ I am testing for pain. “

“ I left the terror behind for a long time. “

“ In the past, it was love I had to conquer; now, fear. “

“ All men are self-centered children. “

“ War gives its people their shape. “

“ She loves the indomitable ones. “

“ Fear is weakness and weakness can be amended by iron discipline. “

“ Tears clouded one’s reasoning powers.”

“ It’s not good to be overtired when you die. “

“ How much better it is to have a strong enemy. “

“ What can a leader do against a host of superstitious men? “

“ You are in conflict with yourself. “

“ They will obey their appetites no matter what we do. “

“ Do not let your own people deceive you. “

“ You’re enough to drive one to despair. “

“ No one can win a war waged for a phantom. “

“ There was a time when the dead were sacred. “

“ It would take more than that to make me disown my father. “

“ Let the earth vomit out his ashes. “

“ Anyone who touches me will end up with a knife in him. “

“ He can smell you gloating. “

“ His mouth is laughing, but his forehead is sad. “

“ I chose captivity and death rather than him. “

“ Our self-confidence was founded on the veneration of dead heroes. “

“ You did not know what that kind of fear was. “

“ Everything it gives rise to falls on the head of those who caused it. “

“ Nothing is sweeter than death. “

“ She does not see the world as it is. “

“ Not everyone can retrace his steps once he has been degraded to an animal. “

[aulisdeer]

@duskwilt cont. from here (x)

Iphi keeps a respectful distance, holding a box doused in red glitter before her as she kneels on one knee.

“Permission to approach the birthday girl?”

Luckily, she’s able to keep from laughing, her expression kept perfectly solemn. She even dressed up in a full tuxedo with cat bow tie and glittery pocket square for the occasion. 

Inside the box is a gold mermaid tail blanket and an Oscar trophy replica engraved with “Best Pyrrha Award.”

[aulisdeer]

Briseis is quick to throw a blanket over Iphigenia where she sits on the couch before promptly sitting down in the spot next to her. She barely glances at the television before turning her full attention back to the girl next to her. "Quick, who has the most meme-able face in the MBM?" While she already has her own—very strong—opinions on it, she has to know what Iphi thinks. "It's for science."

“Patty - thanks.”

No question about it - he was the most meme-able by all metrics and standards. 

Settling under the offered blanket, she snuggles up into a small ball before putting her homework aside.

“Maybe Aris or Emery next.” 

“Who are you thinking of, though?”

[aulisdeer]

duskwilt‌:

「 ♡ 」 Pyrrha already knew how much Aris in particular would hate her idea—-something she’d observed based on past experiences. Others might take a more logical ( or clairvoyant ) approach to figuring out whether or not she was serious in her claim, but overall, she looked to seeing who stood out as weak and unable to survive the winter versus strong and capable of surviving ten winters.

“We’ll be careful, then! And if a couple of them end up a little smudged, it’ll only reinforce what I say and cause more chaos. I don’t think we’ll all fit in Nona’s apartment, so do you know anywhere else we might be able to have our party?”

“How many should we say you licked? We have to keep our story consistent.”

Iphi starts to slide the pans out of the oven, placing them gently on the counter, where the edible glitter shimmers under the fluorescent kitchen lighting. 

“Okay, there’s three pans, how do you want to transport the goods?”

As she says so, she takes a clean Q-tip, runs it under the faucet, and smudges a single cake pop just a tad.

“... Oh, and I already booked part of a park, so we can hang out there.”

[aulisdeer]

duskwilt‌:

「 ♡ 」 Oh! Somehow, that news didn’t come as a surprise, and Pyrrha hummed as she stood to follow her big-little-sister into the kitchen—-or whatever magical area where this cake might be stored. Without a doubt, Iphi surely went overboard with the baking; go big or go home was a philosophy the two of them shared, after all. Even with the entire club there to participate, everyone would likely be sick if they attempted to eat all the treats in one sitting.

Even the leftovers would have to be divided up to avoid indigestion. Pyrrha knew that fact deep within her heart of hearts.

“I’m sure licking is out of the question, but what if I just claim that I licked some random stuff and leave everyone to sort that out for themselves? That’s allowed, right? It would generate the sort of chaos that you love, which makes it an excellent birthday present.” She hummed, thoughtful. “And I hope your cake is mobile, since I was insinuating that I have treats for you elsewhere.”

The cake pops are still in the oven where she left them - though she left the oven door open, to prevent the icing from melting off in the latent heat. They look magical indeed - but hopefully, they’ll taste just as divine. More divine than Aphrodite, anyway.

As she hears out Pyrrha’s idea, she can’t help but laugh.

“Okay, but you can’t actually lick anything. I’ll pretend you did, and that I don’t care.”

A wide grin - today, they’d finally cull the weak and cowardly from the club, by determining who was afraid of germs and who wasn’t. 

“The pans are mobile... sort of. As long as we don’t smush them on top of each other.”

[aulisdeer]

mythlived‌:

❛   @aulisdeer​​​​​​​ asked: Iphi is on her fifth mocha of the day now. With one slightly vibrating hand, she passes Patty another sticky note: “another mocha please.” She dares him to say anything - it’s her birthday, and she is seventeen, young and sweet, the dancing queen,  !  

     (  ♛  )  —  The grimace comes easily to his features as the shaking sticky note finds its way to him. Glancing at her, he can’t help but hope the two of them aren’t going to become the reason cafés can’t serve more than x amount of coffees to one person in a day. Even with the small, nagging worry in the back of his mind, he’d told her he’d make her as many mochas as she wanted for her birthday and he didn’t intend to go back on his word.  ❝  Give me a couple of minutes, I’ll have it ready.  ❞  If nothing else, he’s glad Iphi likes the mocha enough to want more than one. Even so, the fear of being the unwitting herald of her death is ever present as he puts together her sixth mocha of the day. He can’t remember how he was talked into this, but as long as she was alive and well, it would probably be fine. 

Pressing the lid onto the cup, he walks to the little table where she’s taken up residence for the last little bit and puts it down in front of her, smiling. ❝  Here you go. Happy birthday, Iphi  !  ❞  He had wished her a happy birthday with every mocha she ordered and would keep it up until she was finished ordering them. He might as well, he figured. That’s what they were for, after all. 

❝  Please consume caffeine responsibly.  ❞  That was it. That was the only thing he was going to say about it. Otherwise, she could dance on, so to speak. 

Iphi pointedly ignores the grimace that flits across Patty’s countenance when she requests her sixth mocha of the day - he made a promise, and he’d better keep it. Or else... well, she wasn’t sure. But. Patty wouldn’t betray her like that. 

She cheers out a thanks, and watches him start to make it - he’d better not put decaf in it. He knows she’d be able to taste the difference.

When Patty returns, she’s just finished uploading a picture of her fifth empty mocha cup online - a concerning brag on the timeline. 

“Thanks, Patty!” 

She’s too excited about the unlimited, free mochas today.

“I think this will be my last of the day.”

A pause.

“Or maybe I should have seventeen mochas today. You know, since I’m turning seventeen.” 

She wouldn’t actually, but she knows she looks serious enough to at least get a reaction out of him. Completely ignores his warning to consume caffeine responsibly. 

[aulisdeer]

duskwilt‌:

♔ 「 @aulisdeer​​ asked : Iphi’s up early today - draped over the couch, hair somehow already doused in glitter, having posted her first Instagram story that day. She poses when the other walks in the room. “It’s my cake day,” she states, as if they would forget. 。 」

♡ ❞ As if anyone could forget! Pyrrha, admittedly, woke up a little bit later than usual—-at least, she didn’t leave her room until after some extensive text conversations to make sure all the preparation she put into today paid off. Having spent the previous afternoon at Nona’s baking up a storm and decorating for the surprise, she demanded pictures to prove that everything still looked just the way she left it; she trusted Nona, of course, but given the important occasion, one could never be too sure.

She had, however, told Iphi that she’d been gone for tutoring sessions, even threw in a whine to make it more believable.

Upon seeing her darling sister on the couch, Pyrrha promptly ran over and flung herself onto the cushions next to her, arms spread wide as she resisted any urge to hug. Thanks to her precision acrobatics and absolute skill, she managed to avoid flattening the birthday girl with this stunt, and a moment passed before she rolled into a sitting position.

“It’s your cake day!” she reiterated with a grin, beaming from ear to ear. “Too bad we don’t have any here, then, huh?”

But plenty of treats awaited them in a different location, all decorated in silver with gold glitter ombres—-perfect colours for a perfect friend!

When Iphi sees Pyrrha, she barely has time to react before her little-big-sister self-projectiles onto the couch - and while for a split second, Iphi’s afraid she’ll be crushed to death, she doesn’t chicken out. She promptly spreads her arms in tandem with Pyrrha’s, trying to keep a straight face but mostly failing as they T-pose at each other on the couch.

As she drops her arms (and the power pose), Iphi gets up from the couch. 

“Cake day! - and actually, we do.” She’d managed to sneak some time to herself between Pyrrha’s tutoring sessions yesterday and waking up early this morning, enough to make a hundred cake pops. 

“Do you want dibs? You have to immediately eat whatever you call dibs on, though.”

[aulisdeer]

It’s Iphi’s 17th birthday!!!!

She was too lazy to make a cake this year, so.... cake pops. 

She didn’t want to invite the entire club to Theon’s apartment, so she rented out a nice gazebo in a local park. 

She snaps a photo of the cake pops before sending it forth into the group chat, along with the address - 

“First come first serve.” 

An empty threat, considering there’s about a hundred of the cake pops.