aurelie-in-letters

[aurelie-in-letters]

[aurelie-in-letters]

In my next life I will be reborn as #photos.

[aurelie-in-letters]

I have to be the thing that saves me

[aurelie-in-letters]

Peach Cobbler... & Vanilla Ice Cream .... I want ...

[aurelie-in-letters]

My mom & dad went to dinner with my piece of shit homophobic sister last night & they don't take the way she treated me 2 years ago seriously at all. They let her come in the fucking apartment while I was here & I had almost no warning whatsoever !!! Then I heard she had the nerve to imply that she was the one who had been mistreated or been through something in some way because of me !!! If that was even remotely true her ass would not have felt comfortable walking into this place knowing I was here while I was the one who was hiding in my parents bedroom until she fucking left. It's also just ridiculous because they don't even like her? My mom literally got me a #1 daughter mug last year & all of my later teenage years whenever I did something they didn't like they told me I was acting like her & she became like a symbol or example of what to avoid being. My mom was also complaining a few days ago that she didn't even want to go get dinner with her when she was passing through & you can't tell me she couldn't have come up with a plausible excuse to avoid seeing her. I'm so sick of everyone being unreliable or shady. I don't understand why you can't show the world the same face you show me or each other.

[aurelie-in-letters]

“The world is coloured by the lens through which we choose to see it. Choose kindness, choose light.”

— Anna Akhmatova

[aurelie-in-letters]

Death is a lot like the people I love are living in the back of my mind, the same way the little cats I drew on my notebooks in elementary lived on the paper. I invent a world for you. I draw a little bed, I draw food & drink, & many things to occupy you there (books, a TV, pens & paper, anything for you). You're not alone, either. With my heart & my brain I scratch in the shape of those you hold dear. But not me - though I can't bear to leave you alone. I feel that I am always on the outside looking in, which may be the opposite of what one would expect from one dead & one living. But I am on the outside. I have to imagine you are happy. There must be another world where you are happy & free of any worldly pain.

[aurelie-in-letters]

My stupid soul festers & my damn heart whines each time I think of how little of my "creativity", my "fluidity", I have now - something that came so easily to me as a child spurns me now. It's cruel - to remember, unable to retain, nor even retrieve what you can still ... taste.

[aurelie-in-letters]

Yes, I wanted it to be different.

But I'm not surprised that it ended this way.

[aurelie-in-letters]

i want to be loved like the women i read about. like i’m the person they would do anything for. the person they look for in everyone else and everywhere they go because they can’t get her out of their heads. the person their entire being burns for. the person they are patient with, even when she’s rambling, being emotional or sick. the person they go out of their way for, over and over again, because it’s her. the person they love. the person they… love and keep loving.

[aurelie-in-letters]

Regrettably, cheese is bad for the skin.

[aurelie-in-letters]

It will really grind my gears if I commit suicide & people say that it is because I was lonely or I didn't love myself. I actually love myself very much & if I kill myself that is an act of love ! It is an act of granting freedom ! Don't you dare let anyone lie about me on my tombstone !

[aurelie-in-letters]

I want to create something that haunting

[aurelie-in-letters]

I cannot begin to tell you why but I find tragedy the most compelling. Nothing reaches me so thoroughly

[aurelie-in-letters]

The barista said today,

"hello, my favorite person"

She doesn't know my name.

Sometimes I don't either

[aurelie-in-letters]

Well-fed devils behave better than famished saints.

[aurelie-in-letters]

i have lovey dovey bitch syndrome & its incurable