autilesbian

[autilesbian]

Lovers ~

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unbalanced

[autilesbian]

that moment by the end of sinners where the harrowing opening scene of sammie walking into the church bloody and beaten, shellshocked, terrified, holding his broken guitar, and his father is welcoming him back into the fold of the church like a prodigal son, and it seems to be the perfect set up for a religious cautionary tale of the consequences of straying from god... but it's then resolved in this instant transition where you see sammie driving away, crying, still clutching his guitar despite it all and it hits all in one moment that he has rejected christianity and chosen blues even though he's just gone through this horrible, traumatic event "because" of "the devil's music" - that he has uncovered and refused the abusive fallacy at the center of christianity that the bad things that happen to you if you stray are because of the things you love that are against bible doctrine, that it's your fault and you've brought it upon yourself. and he said no! he said no. and then we see him go on and live to have this successful career and know that he was right, that the association of blues with the devil was a lie. that's it that's what it's like. i bawled my eyes out at the movie theatre especially in combination with the beauty and terror of the piece the resistance of the film, the scene where the spirits of the past and future all come together to unapologetically embody that music, that history, even as they are surrounded by flames burning the building down, and it's like: fuck you, we'll have the party in hell, then, but god damn it we will have it

[autilesbian]

Cyberpunk 2077 killed it with its in-universe slang. It's genuinely charming and adds a lot of flavour to what could have either been a misery porn shock-value grimdark setting or a Rick and Morty-esque hellishly meta farce. Like it's admittedly ridiculous out of context but when you're in the world it feels 100% natural, partially helped by the great voice acting.

[autilesbian]

Thinking about the temperance ending, Johnny in V's body, and the fact that the game makes it pretty clear that the technology to radically change one's appearance not only exists but is actually pretty fucking easy.

There's that email about the psychofan trying to get surgery to make himself look like Kerry which means it's not impossible for Johnny to get surgery to make himself look like, well, Johnny.

I mean phantom liberty gives us the cyberware to radically change our appearance to disguise ourselves as someone else almost instantaneously.

So, Johnny has several pretty easy ways to change V's appearance, to make their body look like his body, and then, just, doesn't.

And the implications of that are just so incredibly tragic to me.

[autilesbian]

i feel strongly about this

[autilesbian]

the insane experience of missing a fictional character . like you can always go back and reread the book , replay the game , rewatch the show or movie , you can always go back & see them , but you can never experience them & their story for the first time again . its absurd to miss them because they'll always be there , but you'll miss when there were still new things for them to say .

for a small time they were real & growing and changing and you hung onto every new word, but now all they can do is repeat the same story forever&ever & they're not real anymore because you know everything they're going to do. & you miss them. its fucked man...

[autilesbian]

OKAY SO HERE ARE RANDOM HAMILTON THE MUSICAL FACTS NO ONE ASKED FOR

• After Maria mentions she is "helpless" in Say No To This, Eliza doesn't mention it for the rest of the play

• In That Would Be Enough, Eliza says: "I wrote to the general a month ago". In Stay Alive we can see her writing the letter

• In Take A Break, when Angelica and Eliza reunite and say each other's names there is a slight pause for "and Peggy"

• In Stay Alive (reprise), Phillip says to Eliza "Mom, I'm sorry for forgetting what you taught me" because Eliza taught him how to count to 10 in Take A Break and he thought that mr. Eaker counted to 10 even though he didn't

• Phillip had trouble with number 7 in Take A Break, got shot at number 7 and died at Sept-7 (guess it wasn't exactly his lucky number)

• Burr always repeats that he's willing to wait for it and Alexander always repeats that he's not throwing away his shot, but in The World Was Wide Enough, Burr doesn't wait for it and shoots Alexander and Alexander throws away his shot by aiming his pistol at the sky

• In Hurricane, Alexander says: "I couldn't seem to die" and the backing vocals/ensemble say: "Wait for it, wait for it, wait for it, wait for it.." because Burr is going to shoot him in 9 songs

• If we count all of the songs in Hamilton + Lauren's interlude, there is exactly 47 songs. 47 is also the age Alexander Hamilton died at

• In Best Of Wives And Best Of Women both Alexander and Eliza say exactly 37 words, which is also how many songs they were married for in the musical

• In Who Lives, Who Dies, Who Tells Your Story when Eliza says: "I speak out against slavery," Washington makes a surprised face behind her because he owned around 120 slaves

• In What'd I miss when Jefferson gets the letter from Washington he says: "Sally, be a lamb, darlin' won't you open it," reffering to a slave of his

[autilesbian]

"You tell me to be selfish and all i can find in myself is to ask you to stay,"

-excerpt from I Lay All My Cards on the Table, Always. Take Them. j. goode

[autilesbian]

"Pretend you don’t notice what you inherited. Feel it in your jaw. Ache. Ache."

-excerpt from To Forget You Have A Father, j. goode

[autilesbian]

$20 used to mean something

[autilesbian]

[autilesbian]

A dream I had the other night.

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i hate you summer i hate you heat i hate you sweating i hate you burning sun i hate you warm weather i hate you climate change

[autilesbian]

fuckin hate johnny silverhand. ooh look at me im johnny silverhand. i sit on things and insult you and backseat drive your life. that im ruining, btw. the first thing i ever did was get in a fistfight with you. i hate prostitutes and think they're stupid for no reason. i killed 10000+ people with a nuke and i still think it was a good choice. oooh look at me. im johnny silverhand i get genuinely concerned when you fall. i gave you my dog tags as a promise to die for you. i sit on your couch and ride in your car and crack jokes. im johnny silverhand i went across the blackwall to bargain with my ex for your life with no regard for my own survival. i got you a tattoo of our names in a cupid heart while joyriding in your body

fucker.

[autilesbian]

wish I had enough radiation to set off a geiger counter but come with no health repercussions

[autilesbian]

Who knows how much longer I'll lay on the floor

Touch me till I vomit

I'm not scared of god, I'm scared he was gone all along