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autisthottygoth · 2 days ago

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Burnt Out Former Child Star Xie Lian

teen hua cheng lying about his age to enter like a cheap scummy radio contest to "meet and greet" broke as hell, burnt out and bitter former childstar + idol xie lian. hua cheng winning it and then having to reframe everything he knew about the dude just to be like "he's still perfect"

cw: teen hua cheng gets a cheek kiss? extremely brief implied suicidal ideation. dark humor. mean to waitstaff. [ original bsky thread ]

xie lian the Only member of xianle trio to not make it in the industry despite how he was the groups golden boy and the main character of a whole TV show basically his whole adolescence. he was everywhere, in everything, to a very detrimental degree to his mental health and he went off the deep end

fell out of sight for a long time and whenever he did surface it was to shots of him drunk or yelling at former fans, while mu qing and feng xin went off to pursue their own careers (or quit to get married and then suffered a messy public divorce… sorry feng xin)

point is, this is tail end no face xie lian era who is Trying he's fucking Trying he swears but he has days and then Bad Days and he woke up on the wrong side of the bed today and then remembered he had to go to this skeevy show for $ and he knows they expect him to sleep with the guest or some shit

and this wu ming… christ he's just Too Earnest about meeting xie lian and ignoring every sleazy joke the hosts are making about the dinner date they're supposed to go on later and xie lian is glad he spent years practicing this smile because otherwise he might be screaming

xie lian is pretty sure he shouldn't be oddly charmed by the very straightforward way and dark way wu ming says he'd make sure the radio hosts couldn't comment on… things about xie lian again. but xie lians not exactly one to talk with how many similar things he's muttered to himself

despite a very fucked up discussion about killing people, it's a nice little date! it feels almost normal! what a nice change of pace. enough that when it ends, xie lian decides to shove down the discomfort and kiss wu ming on the cheek and try to Actually smile (he knows it ain't sitting right). but wu ming looks starstruck and red as blood and xie lian feels not so shit. like hes- damn it's stupid, one little date with an objectively not normal dude who Listens and doesnt cringe at xie lians dark humor and it does wonders for him xie lian @ felt loved, might turn my life around a bit

"might turn my life around" over the next week consists of sending a message to mu qing (gets left on read), sending a message to feng xin (better but convo lasts maybe 4 whole turns) and then ordering delivery a bunch and spending all the money he just earned but. eh. he's eating. baby steps.

this is kind of a self contained au tbh, it's entirely about xie lian having someone finally commiserate with and let him spill his messy mean and nasty guts and they Agree. he's never exactly had a chance to say what he thought to other people without it possibly blowing back on him.

sometimes u cant be all good! sometimes u just want to wish someone gets hit by a car but it's JUST a wish, hes not- he wouldnt- but that'd be taken out of context so fast by tabloids or mu qing woulda told him that's unhealthy or feng xin wouldve awkwardly laughed, changed the topic

wu ming just nods and then says a truck would be better and xie lian can't help the "or a woodchipper" that slips out and then he slaps a hand over his mouth in reflex, ashamed but he's not told off for it in the slightest or made to feel like he crossed a line

xie lian still has to do some not so great no name celeb gigs but he keeps up with talking to feng xin and eventually gets set up babysitting his kid (xie lian is deeply ashamed he didn't even know his former friend Had a kid and fails to school his face at feng xins "yeh, that makes two of us")

xie lian learns feng xin and mu qing are still in rather close contact (mu qing has a Key, close) when xie lians OTHER former group mate just walks in one day while xie lian is babysitting and mu qings arms are full of groceries and kids toys (which he proceeds to drop in the entryway)

feng xin is Not pleased to hear that mu qings been ignoring every single one of xie lians texts for the past few months ("ah, he's been reading them though, I can see that…? so he's not ignoring them Exactly.")

back here thinking about this a bit and I think during the "date" xie lian makes things a nightmare for waitstaff because the place is upscale and expensive and they're looking down on wu ming very blatantly for not having a nice enough outfit to be eating there (xie lian thinks he looks plenty nice, the shirts a little ill fitting but its a lovely red, and his pants have been carefully ironed even though they show a bit of age.)

xie lians never liked dress codes in the first place, and definitely never understood them when it came to a /restaurant/. you're there to Eat, it's not some high society event or the red carpet? you're not there to have your picture taken or to represent a brand. what you wear should only matter to you and whomever you're out with. xie lian sends back his dishes with his widest smile and tells them to have it remade, its not right, its burnt, its bad

wu ming, sitting across the table in the best dress shirt he could find from his closet, and pants he found at the secondhand shop and painstakingly ironed flat, picks at his food and feels such warmth in his chest that xie lian is doing this for Him, to defend Him??? xie lian asks if his meal is alright and wu ming smiles and says "mm, it's rather over salted" and xie lians eyes crinkle with his smile back, a real one, just for wu ming, and the waiter blanches they're kind of a nightmare but they deserve to be for once. glow ups come afterwards

xie lian coaxing wu ming into showing him his art, photos taken on his shit old phone that can barely use Instagram let alone take a not blurry pic and wu mings going to die when xie lian pulls out his own phone and follows him (not that xie lian uses the app ever, he forgot he even had it)

years from now xie lian is going to be horribly embarrassed about the way he acted and hua cheng is just gonna say it was one of the most important nights of his life

i need them to meet again like 8 years later when xie lian is in a Much better place mentally, physically and job wise, while he's taking cuo cuo on a lil outting for feng xin and hua cheng sees xie lian holding the hand of some kid who's staring up at him adoringly

hua cheng misunderstands and once again mentally reframes everything about xie lian (but incorrectly this time) to reach the conclusion that "… ok he's a dad now, i can work with this. it could be much worse."

hua cheng expecting to have been forgotten but jokes on you boy, xie lian NEVER forgot wu ming and that "date" and wished everyday he hadn't forgotten his insta login (he lost it when he was forced to finally get a new phone) so he could check up on you and your work!!

it was so hard for hua cheng to keep track of what xie lian was doing once he fully disappeared from anything showbiz and social media related but it was the only choice xie lian had or he was going to destroy himself with it and hua cheng is genuinely relieved.

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jumping back but a little after the "date" with wu ming, whatever remaining money xie lian had from his parents and when he was actively working (delivered in a check every two weeks) finally dries up and he has to move in with feng xin temporarily (fx is the one who offers, now that they're… friends… again?)

xl beforehand was absolutely going to just. kinda,,, disappear permanently once the money ran out. he hadn't seen his life getting better, hadn't planned to try and make it better. every day was the same and it felt pointless. xie lian found himself blurting this to wu ming too, god, was there anything he didn't lowkey dump on that poor kid that night?? really shitty of him, makes him wince to think about now.

but wu ming had clenched a cloth napkin in his hand and-- oh, xl felt a little bad laughing at him but he had to cut the other off before he tried to offer to let xl live with him. the teen barely looked like he could afford a meal on the regular so even if he had a place of his own, no way it could support them both (the burning earnestness of wu mings gaze was so flattering tho, one of the many nice things he gave xl that night)

anyway, this is all a set up for talking about how feng xin keeps catching xie lian eating in the kitchen in the middle of the night with no lights on and scaring the shit out of fx who does NOT scream in terror, just Politely asks why the fuck xl's sitting in pitch black to eat. the lights works

xl, shrugging slightly, picking at his leftovers: got used to it since they'd turn the power off sometimes when I got too far behind on payments fx: xl: mmm. too much? fx, rubbing at his temples: no its fine

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so because jian lan was one of xie lians co-stars (minor love interest, not as big of a name but a decent actress) everyone thought theyd end up together and the shock to find out she was with feng xin of all people (and even considering MARRIAGE?) made headlines, the gossip columns went wild

but of course, as is the way of celebrity worship, she got accused of two timing xie lian (despite how often he tried to explain that there never Was anything between them, hell his contract even Specified he couldnt so much as HINT at dating) or that feng xin stole his friends girlfriend

it persisted even after feng xin left the show where he was a minor character who could easily be cut and all the talk and controversy surrounding it made him tough to employ. feng xin never cared though, he was young and in love and thats all he needed, he could work any job if needed for them but what shouldve been the best time of their lives was rocky with attacks spamming their social medias, being hounded by paparazzi, being recognized everywhere he applied. jian lans new works get review bombed and it drives a pretty big wedge between them and xie lian who cant do a thing about it

jian lan files for divorce roughly a month from their one year and then disappears from the spotlight when its finalized. xie lian and feng xin have a very big fight that gets posted everywhere and xie lian finally cracks and has a breakdown thats goes even more viral

feng xin feels terrible at how glad he is for the spotlight to suddenly be all on xie lian again, to be free of the hot seat mu qing is the one who finds jian lan a few years later, reaches out because hes heard things after having kept tabs on everyone because… just because.

mu qing finds out feng xin has a son before feng xin does. and he really cant blame jian lan for keeping it to herself, he knows the way the industry pries, the way "fans" dig and dig until theres nothing of you that you can keep for yourself. theyd certainly done it to him.

theyd ripped up every little thing they could about his upbringing, his lack of formal training, his mother. half of them made fun of it and half of them woobified him for it and mu qing was fucking sick of them all. and after what happened with his mothers funeral… yeh he cant blame jian lan for going completely off the damn radar with this info at all.

this is where i lost all my steam but mu qing gets jian lan to reach out to feng xin to tell him about the kid, at least let him meet his son, take some of the burden off herself. its not like any of them (minus mu qing, who did move into directing) are big names anymore. and then suddenly feng xin is texting mu qing asking for advice. and then suddenly mu qing is helping feng xin change diapers and adapt to having a toddler around every other week. and then suddenly xie lians back and things sort of go on.

aka this is the fengqing + jian lan + baby multichapter fix it sequel to the one sided wu ming / xie lian one shot that started the au (this will never happen, i dont write)

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xie lians disney era tv show was the only thing ever playing on the short half hour of TV hua cheng could sneak in before someone came home after work and he got kicked out of the house until late and was a formative experience because his character was Always upbeat and positive and Kind

bonus points if it was a literal show for bitty kids, the kind where they address the audience and ask questions and it's stupid but sometimes it was the only nice words and question about his day hua cheng would get

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