autisticspoonie

[autisticspoonie]

“Sometimes suffering is just suffering. It doesnt make you stronger. It doesnt build character. It only hurts.”

— Kate Jacobs; Comfort Food

[autisticspoonie]

[autisticspoonie]

chronic pain diagnoses are all like yeah we don't know what this is or why it happens. we also don't know how to treat it. good luck out there soldier

[autisticspoonie]

Western doctors' egos are so big they can't see they're not practicing medicine, they're undereducated glorified drug dealers for capitalism and arms of the patriarchy. I'm burnt out from being gaslit, I'm traumatized from trusting in their "science", I've lost years of my life on waiting lists, only to be disappointed in the end.

Western medicine is implicitly biased against and incapable of caring for autistic people with complex trauma, for women and young people with chronic illness, and for the mentally ill. Pathologizing humanity. Our society is sick and soulless. I know who to call when I'm craving a bandaid for my bullet hole.

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[autisticspoonie]

[autisticspoonie]

Kinda wild how most people generally recognize that the "too sick to go to school, too sick to watch tv/play games" mindset our parents had was bullshit but still impose essentially the exact same rules on disabled adults and scrutinize them for enjoying low-energy hobbies while being too fatigued or in pain to work a full time job (or any job at all)

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what abled ppl think is a massive problem for disabled folks: 13 year old on the internet faking something

what is actually a massive problem for disabled folks: "well you don't LOOK disabled, are you sure you're not faking? I'm not giving you accommodations until you PROVE you're not faking. Please give me, a stranger, your medical info and explain your condition to me in detail so I know you're not faking and only then will I respect or take you seriously"

[autisticspoonie]

[autisticspoonie]

Fuck anyone who says I have to forgive everyone, “for my sake.” I worked hard for this anger. I worked hard to love myself enough to hate them.

[autisticspoonie]

chronic fatigue from mental illness and neurodivergency isn't something you can just will your way out of. your nervous system is part of your body. your brain is an organ. the fatigue is real. you're not lazy. so be kinder to yourself. be gentler with your bodymind.

[autisticspoonie]

It's so funny to be diagnosed with "Pain We Can't Find The Source Of Disorder" or "Brain is Physically Fucked and we Don't Know Why Disorder" or "We Don't Know Why You Have Seizures Disorder" and instead of more research, tests, etc being performed, you're told to get Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. Bonus points if your diagnosis of Exclusion was the 1st-3rd conclusion your doctor came to.

[autisticspoonie]

It's damaging to be constantly on the hook to explain why we aren't getting better right away. And it's demoralizing to be thought of as "not trying hard enough."

...no one has thought as much about how we can get relief as we have. No one is more attuned to what might make life less miserable. No one has been more possessed to find promising treatments than we are...

What we really want is to be listened to and, most of all, to be understood.

from Why Chronic Pain Sufferers Hate Yoga by Randall H. Duckett (Medium)

[autisticspoonie]

[autisticspoonie]

I am just so tired of the phrases "contribute to society" and "functioning member of society"

Because what does that even mean? What dictates an appropriate contribution or functioning level? I know the people saying it mean someone who has a job but that's such bullshit. Being able to work or not being able to work should not dictate your worth to other people.

[autisticspoonie]

The deer has a scar along its spine

It's ugly and it makes the deer's body crooked. The deer has a lifelong limp because of it

Sometimes, the scar opens into the wound it once was. It's gruesome and oozes blood, dripping red along the grass wherever the deer goes. Flies lay and bathe in the wound, buzzing constantly near the deer's ears

The deer can't run from the flies. They come with the wound. The wound comes with the scar. The scar comes with the deer

The deer can't run from itself

It's tried to

Everyone runs from the deer. It looks sickly and wrong and the wound in its back smells rotten

The deer can smell it too. But it can't run from itself

It's tried to