automaticcycleland

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WHEEEE

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Magic the Gathering tip: OwO

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Love how Nicol Bolas looks and I always have and always will.

Definitely Top 5 Magic The Gathering Cards.

Nicol Bolas, Planeswalker

Artist: D. Alexander Gregory TCG Player Link Scryfall Link EDHREC Link

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Me hearing the video will be at 240p

And my "The Vivziepop Hatedom is Cringe" stream VOD is back up!

This is the final for real one. Sorry about all the technical issues, the stream was unfortunately stuck at 240p visuals for the duration.

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So there’s this new tabletop game called Trench Crusade that I’ve been reading up on, and here’s some of my favorite lore tidbits so far:

-The whole setting is an alternate timeline where the Knights Templar found a portal to Hell in Jerusalem during the Crusades and opened it, plunging the world into a forever war with demons that’s lasted into 1914.

-The church has made multiple clones of Jesus called Meta-Christs. There’s at least seven of them, and they’re harvested for their flesh which turns you into a horrifying mutant with superpowers if you eat it.

-The initiation ritual for the human fighters of Hell, the Heretic Legion, involves traveling to the gates of Hell and coming back without being burned alive. The only way for a human to survive Hell is to be a bad person, so even the basic infantry is made up of grade-H (for Hell) certified pieces of shit.

-The Heretic Legion has a unit called an Artillery Witch. They use magic to teleport bombs from factories and then throw them at people.

-The Hashashin still exist in 1914, and they use special drugs that briefly send their bodies into the future so they can attack from multiple places at once. They also build up toxins in their blood and then use said blood to make poison knives.

-In the official timeline there’s an event in 1477 that just states “The city of Argos is taken by God and it is no more,” and there’s no elaboration on what that means.

-There’s a lot of little alternate history moments that boil down to “it didn’t happen because Europe was too busy fighting Hell.” Protestant Reformation? European Colonialism? Who has time for that when you’re being attacked by a wolf with a chainsaw for a face?

-Not a lore tidbit, but it’s a genuine miracle that the creators aren’t those weird alt-right Crusades or Roman Empire LARPers, given the game’s general aesthetic and subject matter.

So yeah, Trench Crusade is absolutely insane so far. I’m still on the fence about it as a game, but the lore is all kinds of insane and I can’t wait to see how it gets fleshed out.

Official website because proper credit is important:

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Gravedigger

Oddly, no one questioned the Cabal’s wisdom in hiring a zombie to work at the cemetery.

Artist: Dermot Power TCG Player Link Scryfall Link EDHREC Link

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Out of Touch

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"How might Small(tm) fantasy creatures use bows?"

Tiny bow was surprisingly fun to wield. Might use that again sometime 😁

Patreon still exists for all your art reference and bonus content needs!

And you can find more fantasy creatures doing archery here:

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As someone who’s reported alt-right harassment and rhetoric on various social media sites and been told “there’s nothing here that violates our TOS,” seeing what RPGnet is doing is a welcome breath of fresh air.

Please, more social media sites need to do this.

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Is this REALLY what Steven Universe about????

Rebecca Sugar cooked with "Character whose entire existence is devoted to the service of another character who's now dead and now they have no idea what to do with themselves except live." I love that shit. I forged myself into a tool for you and now you're gone. I'm sniffing this like a bloodhound

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THE MATRIX (1999) dir. The Wachowski Sisters

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@crimsonender

bat

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Not a fan of the endless crossovers with other IPs in MTG, I would much rather have them expand their own lore and setting.

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Art by Boris Groh

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NOOO DON'T TURN INTO MARKETABLE POPSICLES NOO