avarice-06

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Reconciliation

A lot of stuff happened today, but I'm just glad that it ended up the way it did. It was pretty exhausting trying to do things I'm not used to, but it's a good thing that it was solved today.

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Exhausted

Today has been mentally and physically exhausting, since a lot of stuff has been going on and I don't like where its going.

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Too Much

Today we've been given a lot of activities, and it's overwhelming. I don't know which to do first, since every subject has different activities and tasks.

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Tired

Today we practiced our zumba dance for our physical education subject, and it was physically and mentally exhausting. Since I've got to socialize and try my best in the dance.

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Meh

Today I've seen my prefinal grade on the same subject, and I am a bit disappointed. This is due to my belief that I performed well in the exams and could have achieved a higher grade. Although it is better than having it much lower, so I think that it was a bit meh.

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UNMOTIVATED

Today I've asked my professor about my midterms grade and why it was so low compared to my previous ones since I aced my exam and I did all of my activities. So that is when I figured out that there was something wrong with the inputted grade, and it was actually originally higher. That was a relief seeing that it was a misinput rather than me failing, since I was so disappointed at myself after seeing my grades drop.

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Sleep

We ate outside after finishing class and then I went home, since I felt mentally drained and I completely fell asleep after getting home. I slept for 4 hours straight and immediately procrastinated, instead of studying for the upcoming exams.

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Success!

We finally finished our presentation for Philippine Pop Culture and it felt pretty good. Since it was pretty stressful being limited to 15 minutes for a presentation with 47 slides, but good thing it wasn't followed and we were able to successfully do it.

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BORING

Today we had no professors present, and we just actually went to school for a single quiz. Also, we filmed some of the scenes for our short film in Understanding the Self and went home early.

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WAGAGAGA!

Today I realized that I am still unable to speak to strangers since we conducted an interview for our Purposive Communication subject. So I asked a random girl if she was willing to be recorded, and she said yes, so when I finally asked her the question, I kept stuttering and my mind went blank. So in the end, I wasn't able to give my friend a chance to speak in the interview.  Also I got my 3rd anti rabbies shot today...

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DIZZYYY

Today has been a total disaster for me, since I've been dizzy for the WHOLE DAY. I can't focus properly in presenting the lesson to everyone in the class, since my vision is wobbling. Moreover, we didn't even get to properly present it because the projector that is needed in order to give visual queues to everyone is in the computer laboratory, which is still closed even after 7 oclock. So I had to rush everything in the PPT, which I took a lot of effort into making. Lastly, there was a debate in Physical Education, and I fumbled so hard. Since I had to speak while limiting myself, since I needed to give my other group members ideas about our topic.

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Stressed af

I've recently been super stressed for the past few days. It started when we were finished with our exams, and I really wanted to take a break by playing "Sekiro: Shadows Dies Twice" for the whole vacation. However, I've been super stressed about me dying early since I was bitten by my dog and I didn't get a vaccine since I thought that it was already vaccinated, but It turns out that it wasnt. So I had to get a vaccine shot days after the incident, and today is my 2nd dose of it. So now I'm SUPER dizzy and I can't think straight, but the good thing is that I can finally see my classmates again tomorrow.

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October 11, 2024

It's been an exhausting experience today, since we filmed a bunch of scenes for our short film. So, I've been drenched in sweat for the whole day, coupled with the diziness that came from the heat. Although, I did enjoy the people that I was with and it made the experience a lot more bearable.

Moving on, I should really stop these "delusions" of mine and just focus on own path. Since I realized that distracting myself with useless things, will only hinder my success.

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October 9, 2024

My habit of throwing up is coming back, due to overstressing myself. Since there is quiz for a major subject tomorrow, so I've been worrying that I'll somehow perform badly, even if I tried my best to study. Additionally, people have been messaging me almost nonstop and it's really exhausting to reply. It's been bothering me for the last few days and I am really tired of it. So, recently I've been giving shallow messages to people. However, there are few people who I still enjoy messaging.

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October 7, 2024

I've realized that I shouldn't have consumed coffee at night because I couldn't sleep, and when my body finally allowed me, it was already 30 minutes before my alarm. So I ended up being exhausted for the entire time I was in school and I couldn't absorb anything of what my professors was saying. So I ended up goofing off most of the time.

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October 4, 2024

Recently, I've been unmotivated to do anything school-related since there are so many group activities that were assigned to us. So I've been cramming quite a lot of things that were assigned to me. I actually don't know what is wrong with me, and the only thing that I can think of why I act like this is because of the expectations of the people around me. I feel like I'm limiting myself to what people are expecting me to do.