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Like a half hour after taking pain relief meds: oh actually it doesnt hurt anymore i probably didnt even need to take those
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you want me to come out of my cage AND be doing just fine?? in this economy???
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Being a little too cold: brrrr i鈥檓 a little too cold !!!
Being a little too warm: i am going to kill the next person who makes eye contact with me.
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Not what I expected coming from John Green
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so this European clothing retailer decided to advertise their jean cuts on youtube and it's unintentionally the funniest shit I've seen today. why? well.

now important context here: in German, die (pronounced 'dee') is just a feminine article, it literally means "the".

but if an ad gets placed in the middle of an English video and doesn't use a single explicitly German word for most of the ad, even a native speaker is gonna think "they want me to die how?" it keeps getting funnier.

I mean, holy shit

i will use these as reaction images until i die
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so you're telling me that, on oct 3rd, 2022, at an mcr concert (the band that inspired stephanie meyer to write twilight) gerard way went on stage for the encore wearing a TWILIGHT EDWARD TSHIRT, with robert pattinson's face on it, proceeded to call robert pattinson hot, and then, AND THEN played fucking VAMPIRE MONEY??
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by artist It艒 Jakuchu, 1790, Japan. Sano City Yoshizawa Memorial Museum
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where鈥檚 that interview where ray said he wanted people to leave their shows feeling like they just got fucked. that really is what it feels like
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fantastic news from the zones tumbleweeds. it looks like queen elizabeth had a clap with an exterminator that went all costa rica and got herself ghosted, dusted out on route guano.
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