axeldarkling

[axeldarkling]

Sighing he took his cardigan from his waist, carefully laying it over her shoulders."I know you didn't. And even if some part of you did mean it, there was no way I was leaving you. I could tell that you needed me, even if you didn't want to accept that." Turning her hand over he slowly intertwined his fingers with hers and smiled softly. "I am simply to selfish to let you go. I'm afraid, that I may love you to ruins, and you can hate me for that. But just this once, may my self indulgent act of saving you be justified?"

The Trick is, Don't be Afraid || Kaxella

[axeldarkling]

She didn't answer. Instead, he found himself faced with a question that only made him smile. Shifting slightly, he moved so that he held her against his side, one arm around her and the other clasping one of her hands. "In all honesty I do not know. I simply know that I love you, and that when you are not yourself it is my duty to stick by you, until you feel you are ready to accept my help, or tell me what is wrong." He waited and thought for a moment, thinking back to the moment in the elevator. "It's just intuition. I knew something was wrong when you didn't answer your door. So I went to find you. Since I first spoke to you it was like there was a connection, an understanding. As though you had shook my hand and said nice to meet you, I'm your other half."

The Trick is, Don't be Afraid || Kaxella

[axeldarkling]

He felt her position change. She relaxed, the weight of her against him increased and that only made him hold her more tightly. He let her cry, his hand moving to her back. Brushing his palm across it lightly he waited for her to finish. Her own negativity and self depreciation hurt him. Could she really not see what it was that he saw each time he looked at her? "Hey, Kalla, shh. It's okay. I have you and I won't ever let you go." Leaning back, he brushed the hair from her cheek and wiped away a stray tear. Meeting her eyes he smiled and shook his head."What you did was stupid, I will not deny that. But please, do not think of yourself as weak. You were prepared to do something that takes a lot of bravery. You knew what would happen, how the force fields worked and you were prepared to deal with the emotional pain. But promise me, you will not ever do that again. Even if I am there to catch you." Cupping her cheek, his thumb brushed her skin carefully as he kissed her forehead. Closing his eyes he paused, waiting a few seconds before leaning back not meeting her gaze. "Please, tell my why. Why did you say those things?"

The Trick is, Don't be Afraid || Kaxella

[axeldarkling]

He stood there watching her with his hands held tightly behind him as she sat each venomous word at him. Each refusal for his help and utterance left him hurt but still he stood taking each blow as it came not judging her for it. She was upset, and he understood that when people were controlled by their emotions nothing that came from them could ever be fully trusted. But as soon as he saw her shuffling back his arms moved from behind him and he leant forward, the images from before burning brightly in his minds eye. This couldn't happen. Not now. Not ever. As her screamed ripped through the cold night air, he fell forward, hands wrapping around her arm. He looked down at her, eyes wide with fear and worry as he held her over the edge. "Hold on." He may be smaller than most, and his strength was something to work on but now in this moment when it counted he gave no second thoughts and slowly pulled her up, ignoring the scrape of gravel against his shins and elbows he pulled knowing she needed his help. "Say what you like. Insult me, deny my help and reject my efforts to aid you. But do not expect me to stand idly by and left you fall!" With what strength he could muster he heaved her over the edge. Falling back, his arms wrapped tightly around her. Breathing heavy, He slowly sat up hands on her shoulders. Gripping them tightly he looked at her his expression a mixture of fear and anger. "Don't you dare do anything so stupid ever again! On purpose of not don't you ever do something like this. Never, you hear me?!" He knew he shouldn't shout but what good was it to fight against his emotions. He wasn't mad at her, he was scared. His expression softening, he pulled her tightly against him, voice muffled against the wind. "I could have lost you."

The Trick is, Don't be Afraid || Kaxella

[axeldarkling]

The tone of her voice was enough to make his grip on the cardigan loosen slightly, disheartened by her negativity. This wasn't Kalla, the bubbly and caring girl that he was used to. Sure, there were moments when they were both pessimistic, but not like this. The maliciousness was clear. Stumbling back a step he took a small breath, letting it out slowly as he looked at her. Hiding the hurt he felt from her obvious dislike of his company he moved to tie the cardigan round his waist. "I shan't leave you. There is nothing you can say or do that will make me go." His eyes softened as he held his hands tightly behind his back, just as he had in that bathroom so long ago, hoping that the timid gesture would show her he meant no harm. "I know you are capable. But everyone has moments when they might like or require assistance. Whether they are big enough to accept or realise that is an entirely different matter."

The Trick is, Don't be Afraid || Kaxella

[axeldarkling]

His shoulders fell as she avoided his questions. Watching her, getting no nearer to understanding what had upset her so. Seeing no possible benefit from repeating himself he shrugged off his cardigan slowly, taking careful measured steps towards her. "I told you. I cannot do that. I apologise as that is evidently not the reply you were hoping for, and I only hope I can make it up to you." With only a few steps between them his eyes flicked from the edge to her. He needed to get her away from the side, with this wind his mind was only filled with images of her falling. Holding out the cardigan he stopped, not wanting to make her feel cornered. "Here. You are cold and I do not want for you to catch a cold."

The Trick is, Don't be Afraid || Kaxella

[axeldarkling]

From where he stood in the low light, it was easy to see the figure shaking slightly, and his attention was brought to the bitterly cold wind that whipped around them. It was obvious that is was her. As she stood, and her slight frame came into view he couldn't help but feel relieved. But it didn't last long. Something still wasn't right and the tremble in her voice only confirmed his suspicions. Taking another careful step closer he lowered his hand slightly. "I can respect that you wish to be alone. But I cannot do that." Clearing his throat he pushed back the feeling of guilt at ignoring her request. Instead he smiled, hoping his expression would seep into his voice and show her he did not mean to cause her anymore distress. "It's absolutely freezing, and something, shall I say a gut feeling is making me feel as though I should stay." Stepping slowly around her, not getting closer, but moving so that her face came into view he waited, taking the silence that followed as another chance to speak. "Kalla, is there something wrong?"

The Trick is, Don't be Afraid || Kaxella

[axeldarkling]

Now Axel couldn't be sure, and at this point he also couldn't be thinking logically as his hand pushed the top floor button. Some part of him felt it was right, as though going up there were necessary. After all, she had mentioned being up there before. And with the tree in the gardens, Axel wasn't so sure that Kalla would be in any rush to go back there. Clicking his knuckles as he stared at the slowly changing numbers he told himself that his impatience was futile. Tapping his foot and getting agitated would not make it go any faster. The only relief came when the chime sounded and the doors began to open. He didn't wait for them to fully part before pushing through the gap and stepping out into the corridor. There was no sign of any people, and as his heart fell he turned to look back at the still open doors or the elevator. But then something caught his eye. Stopping and turning his head to the door leading to the roof he saw the faint gap and his breath caught in his throat. Stepping towards it, slowly at first and then faster he crossed the small distance and made his way up the steps opening the door to see a silhouetted figure at the edge. "K-Kalla?" his voice was soft so not to startle the person who knelt, with their back towards him. Moving closer, with and outstretched palm he waited for a response, hoping it was her.

The Trick is, Don't be Afraid || Kaxella

[axeldarkling]

How many hours would be acceptable to wait? Ten? Twelve? Axel at this point had no concrete answer and no one to confer with. All he knew was that it had barely been 9 hours since he had last spoken to Kalla and already his patience was wearing thin. Something about being away from her, especially when their time was so scarce has him anxious. Coming to a stop in the center of the room he looked at the small groove he had created in the carpet. Pacing was definitely not helping, the only logical solution was to go see her and hope that her schedule was not going to be too badly interrupted. Making his way quickly out of the flat he took the elevator to her floor, standing in front of the door for a few minutes trying to come up with a reasonable explanation for his being here unannounced. Taking a breath he raised his hand knocking on the door a couple of times. Waiting he listened to the faint ticking of his watch, and when his count reached 60 he knew something was off.  Kalla had mentioned being busy but nothing about this time. Where was she? Stepping into the elevator his hand hovered over the buttons. He needed to see her, but the issue he now faced was finding her.

The Trick is, Don't be Afraid || Kaxella

Looking at herself in the mirror, Kalla could do nothing but shudder. Her hair, as if every one of her ringlets had a mind of it’s own, stood on end, and her eyes were bloodshot and drained from the tears that still tore down her face. She involuntarily shook as she clung the cool porcelain sides of the sink with white knuckles. Look at you, she thought. You couldn’t save her. You weren’t there for her when she needed you. Growling, Kalla violently ripped herself from the room. She was done with trying to impress everyone. After working so hard to fix every ailment she had, it was becoming almost impossible to continue on like this. Without even bothering to grab shoes or change her clothing, Kalla left the apartment and began to make her way to the roof.

[axeldarkling]

She was beautiful. Even when she cried, when her expression was one of sadness and not joy. He couldn't help but appreciate everything about her. Each small smile she had shown him. Every second of contact was a second he had treasured. He listened stunned that she would ask him to say something to Karen. He knew what it meant, for her to say something like that to him. He wanted to say everything that came to mind, that he loved her. That he wished he had done more, been better. "I don't want to be alone. I love you too much. You won't die for me." It took all his focus to say it, to even say that small snippet because he was all too aware of the smoke in the air, and the temperature around them increasing.

"I love y-" It was when he saw her arm shift and felt the cold metal resting against his chest that he stopped, his eyes moving from her claws to meet her eyes. Gasping as he felt the blades tear through him, catching his ribs he looked at her, his smiling fading. "Why.." He didn't understand. He had asked her to leave, to let him die on his own away from her. Axel couldn't take seeing her cry. The pained cry was enough to bring tears to his eyes. It wasn't the pain, the sudden inability to breathe that made him panic, his hand falling from her cheek. He never wanted to see her hurt like this. He couldn't stop it now. He tried to speak, to breathe but it was useless. He could only stare, wide eyed and panic stricken, tears silently falling down his cheeks. In the space of one day he had cried more than he had in the last three years. He had cried for Ava and for the guilt that he felt at hearing Kalla's pain. He could only hope that she would be okay, that Kalla would be strong. He couldn't help her now.

One Step Forward, Three Steps Back | Kaxella |

[axeldarkling]

The relief that came at hearing her agreement was enough to make him smile. She would go. He would be alone, terrified and alone. But Kalla would be out of danger, away from the lava and the smoke. Kalla had to be okay, that she would get down away from all of this unscathed. If there was anything he could do to keep he alive for that bit longer he would do it.  "Be quick. There isn't time." He knew that the smoke was building, he could tell from the way it him to breathe, the way his lungs ached. But he pushed past it, focusing on her. It didn't matter. She would be gone, she would leave and he could die without her here. He would be alone, but she would be safe. He hated leaving her. That there was no chance of coming back, he wasn't leaving the volcano. He pushed the hair back from her face, still smiling. She would be okay. Kalla was brave, strong. She could take it. He knew she could.

One Step Forward, Three Steps Back | Kaxella |

[axeldarkling]

She didn't understand. He needed her to leave, to not stay here where she'd get hurt. All he could think of was her safety. "No. No no no. You have too." He was desperate. She needed to understand that the jump couldn't be in vain. Kalla had to at least make it away from here. Away from him. He was of no use to her now. Axel refused to be the reason she died.  He loved her enough to let her go when he knew that the selfish part would be to make her stay. It hurt, he didn't want to die alone. But it would give her more time. At least he hoped it would. Raising a shaking hand to her cheek he brushed away the tears. "Please. I can not be the reason." He wanted her to go. The sooner she left, the sooner she would be able to carry on, forget that he had not been enough to keep her safe. She would be better off not being here when his  canon sounded.

One Step Forward, Three Steps Back | Kaxella |

[axeldarkling]

Hearing her disagreement he couldn’t help but look away. He couldn’t do it. Fighting he seemed pointless but at the same time he knew that protecting her like this, was an unrealistic hope. Hearing his name, he opened his eyes and saw his foot. It was hard to ignore the pain, but each time he saw it he could only think of how stupid he’d been. It was her next command, said with far more pain in her voice than he would have thought possible that brought his eyes up to meet hers. His hand felt cold and oddly detached where she had dropped it. The kiss had been brief and his own distracting thoughts had made him careless enough to waste it. Her words of reassurance did little to help.

Drawing in a shaky breath he shook his head. “Kalla. I can’t. I can’t move. You have too..” The fiery pain from the burns made every other part of him feel cold. Numb almost. Ava had done well to have taken everything like she did. Still coherent despite the epain. He could appreciate how strong she was knowing now the pain of the lava’s scolding touch. “I need you to stop it. The pain.” When he looked at her he found it hard to focus, his vision shaking. It was then he realised it wasn’t his eyes, it was just him. He was trembling. Whether it was fear  or pain causing him to do so was unclear to even Axel, but he knew it was only hurting her to stay. With what force he could gain he pushed her hand away as Ava had done to him. “Go. You.. you can not stay.” It hurt, physically, emotionally to say it. He didn’t want her on her own, but what option was there. He was dead weight now. Or would be soon enough. “Please.”

One Step Forward, Three Steps Back | Kaxella |

[axeldarkling]

He was aware of her speaking, but all he could do was look down at his foot. How could he have miscalculated his own abilities? It wasn't that he was scared of how it looked, he had seen Ava with burns far worse than this. It was his own disbelief at having been so foolish. When Kalla shifted and moved in front of his view he blinked looking to her. Watching as she rifled through the pack he tried to think of something to say but no words came. Seeing the pills in her palm he went to shake his head but Kalla, showed him she was not having any of his denial. Swallowing, he grimaced, hating that he had taken them. He was supposed to look out for her.  The pain was constant, the burning sensation only intensifying as he tried to move. He looked to her, knowing that what he had done was bad, and when Axel saw her expression he knew just how bad it was. Closing his eyes, his head on the ground he tried to focus on breathing rather than the pain. But as the air around them became thicker it was harder to do so without coughing. Clenching his hands into fists he forced himself to look at her, and acknowledge that the longer she stayed the more at risk she was of being hurt. "You need to go."

One Step Forward, Three Steps Back | Kaxella |

[axeldarkling]

The burning feeling didn't fade, if anything it seemed to hurt more and all it did was remind him of just what had happened to Ava. He'd been stupid. Foolishly desperate to be at Kalla's side, but not like this. It hurt. He couldn't even process how much. What comparison could he make? He was from Three, and barely left a lab until coming here. He couldn't remember if it had hurt in the boat, his worry had been for her injuries and not his own. But now he had no option but to acknowledge them. No means of denial. "It's okay, you're okay." He could hear her, and he wanted to believe it. But everything in his head told him something different. Shaking his head, he looked at what he'd done. Seeing the red skin and damaged shoes somehow made it hurt more and his grip on her hand tightened. "No. It isn't. It's not." the words were slow, his mind more focused on showing him everything he knew of burns rather than speaking. He knew what he had done was bad. Lava would not be the same as a scold from hot water.

One Step Forward, Three Steps Back | Kaxella |

[axeldarkling]

That was it. He was as far back as he could go and the small section of clear ground in front of him would have to do. In theory it could work. Enough speed and he shouldn't have trouble but with such a small space... No. Stopping the thoughts he focused on Kalla. He would do it, there was no way she was leaving here alone. Pushing off with as much force as he could, Axel ran to the edge of the Lava and jumped. A split second before he touched the ground he knew he had made a mistake but there was little he could do now. As one foot hit the burning surface and the other on clear ground he gasped, falling forward as pain shot through his leg. Holding his breath against the pain in his foot, he realised just how foolish the jump had been. He could have so easily fallen and shared the same fiery fate as Ava. Pushing himself up, he turned to look at Kalla and his leg to see just what he had done to it.

One Step Forward, Three Steps Back | Kaxella |

[axeldarkling]

Following her gaze to the volcanoes top he saw the smoke and lava that was filling the sky, and moving steadily towards them.  It seemed like everything was against them. Shaking his head he looked back at her, seeing how she coughed as the air around them became harder to breathe. He wanted to help her, he was desperate to. The air was enough to make his throat sore and his eyes watered when he began to speak. "No. Kalla please, I already lost Ava. I cannot leave you. I would not take it, being far from you, with so many others out there." looking up to the top and then back to her and the ground between them he realised, that unless he wanted a fate similar to Ava's, or to spend the next night worried sick about her, that he would have to jump. "Kalla, I am going to jump to you." He smiled and backed up. He could do this. He hoped he could.

One Step Forward, Three Steps Back | Kaxella |