babysfirstreview-blog

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New Blog Home!

My blog has migrated to https://babysfirstreview.wordpress.com/

Check it out! I’ve reviewed Alvvays “Plimsoll Punks” for music monday: 

https://babysfirstreview.wordpress.com/2017/09/04/plimsoll-punks-a-review/

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Beach Baby: A Review

Beach Baby, Laurie Elmquist & Elly MacKay, 2016

Apparently, when people take a beach vacation they spend their time reading. Since this is the last gasp of summer, I thought I’d review a perfect vacation book. m. and d. gifted a copy to me while we were visiting the seashore and I still often demand they read it.

Beach Baby starts with the child at the edge of sleep, instead of ending with “good night”… like 84% of board books. While unusual for a children’s book, this is a literary device employed in cult classics like Memento, starring Guy Pearce, or in the little known literary work by Mary Shelley- Frankenstein. Don’t assume I don’t know things because “I’m just a baby.”

The dream-like quality of Elly MacKay’s paper dioramas are fitting given that the child has gone to bed at the opening of the story. Her process gives the illustrations incredible depth. I wish all my dreams looked this good. Why am I already dreaming of my teeth falling out? THEY JUST GOT HERE.

This book is very accurate- after spending a week by the Atlantic, I can confirm that Laurie Elmquist is correct, “The beat of the ocean is a steady thrum.” During our trip, we saw many of the creatures and sea beasts chronicled in the book. No moon snails, though, presumably because they were off following a red herring as part of their mystery. As such, I have no idea whodunnit. Maybe the moon snail IS a red herring! But then, who’s the moon snail? Mystery indeed!

This book is so much better than the actual beach- Almost no cold water and 100% less Ethan getting all up in my blanket. Take a step back, Ethan. We just met.

5 out of 5 doggies

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The Beach: A Review

Too much sand. The water is cold and wet.

And, there are too many socially forward children. Take a step back, Ethan. We just met.

There were, however, a lot of doggies and my plastic shovel was okay.

2 out of 5 doggies

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T-shirts: A Review

Good for pullin’ on. Good for pullin’ off.

3 out of 5 doggies

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Art Gallery of Nova Scotia: A Review

During our visit to the Art Gallery of Nova Scotia we saw the Harold Edgerton exhibit, “The Man Who Made Time Stand Still.” He may have been able to make time stand still, but I was moved. Well, it moved part of me. It was a terrible mess, but m. and d. handled it like champs… who didn’t realize there were change tables in the bathrooms. (Pro-tip: there are change tables located in both of the gender-specific washrooms.)

We all survived. However, the counter near the payphone will never be the same. But, really, who the heck is using the art gallery payphone? It was probably an installation. Oh, geez. I defiled art. We’ll just claim it’s a Duchamp.

It’s nice to see the Indigenous art well integrated into the rest of the gallery so it’s not missed! Unfortunately, we couldn’t find any of the Annie Leibovitz (thanks for nothing, Canadian Cultural Property Export Review Board).

But I can’t wait to go back!

4 out of 5 doggies

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Dear Life: A Review

Dear Life, Beck, 2017

Members of my inner-circle know that I’ve long been a fan of Beck’s work. The lyrics of his new single appropriately include the query “How long must I wait…” Seriously, I feel like I’ve been waiting my whole life for some new Beck. Well, for at least 10 months.*

“Dear Life” begins with ragtime-y syncopated piano, and ends with Beach Boys-esque harmonies, so it’s a pretty typical Beck song. I like it.

According to Beck, “You sang your swan song to the dogs…”  I’ve learned through the classic sing-a-long “Old MacDonald Had a Farm” that swans make a honking sound. When I see doggies I make more of a closed-mouth grunting noise, because I’m excited. I can only assume swans are also excited about doggies, but do swans grunt or honk at them? This song creates more questions than it answers.

*editors’ note: at the time of publication, the reviewer was not yet 11-months-old.

4 out of 5 doggies

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Little You: A Review

Little You, Richard van Camp & Julie Flett, 2013

This is a book. I like its pages; they’re easy to turn. I like its art. The collage-style illustrations are reminiscent of the Cape Dorset print-making cooperative. The artist, Julie Flett, in a 2014 interview with 49th Shelf observed that “…the sun and moon tend to be an anchor both conceptually and visually” in her work. This is obvious in Little You, and I relish the opportunity to point out the sun and moon to m. and d. numerous times on multiple pages. 

I like that the rhyming couplets avoid the usual baby book clichés, and the book’s conclusion is very affirming: “You are the birth of everything new/you are perfect/you are you!” This is my new mantra. Repeating it provides much needed perspective when m. and d. erroneously coerce me into taking a nap I’m certain that I don’t need, because “I am the birth of everything new/I am perfect/ I AM ME!”

I LOVE THIS BOOK. We wore out the library’s copy, so m. and. d. bought our own—good investment, guys. This book can easily be read 6 to 7 times before bed. Plus, it has an adorable doggie. 

5 out of 5 doggies

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Salt Shaker Deli: A Review

You might be surprised that I’m reviewing a restaurant after publicizing my strong opinion about food. My underdeveloped mobility, speech, and cognition means that m. and d. largely get to dictate where I go and what I do. So, here’s a restaurant review.

The Salt Shaker Deli in Lunenburg, Nova Scotia is located on “restaurant row,” so named because, as we heard one local explain, there are so many restaurants… in a row. The table was easily converted into a great play space – plenty of room for my blocks – and the staff supplied me with my own highchair conveniently placed across from Nana who provided just the right amount of attention. I appreciated the inclusion of the young men seated next to us who accepted my staring-contest challenge. Sure, I might’ve blinked first, but I saw right into their souls and their futures look bleak. So, we know who really won.

m. was raving about the fish tacos (I assume they were delicious). d. had the smoked salmon club and potato wedges with a lovely garlic aioli (I assume they were delicious). Nana opted for a classic chicken club sandwich (I assume it was delicious). I was forced to endure food from home presented in a sad Tupperware container, which was no fault of the Salt Shaker Deli (I salt-shake my head at you, m. and d.)

The water was cold and the service was excellent. Overall, great experience.

4 out of 5 doggies.

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Feeding Myself: A Review

I WON’T DO IT.

Food is only good for squeezing in my fist like the soft skulls of my enemies… and hiding the evidence in my highchair, preferably under my butt.

1 out of 5 doggies

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Falling Over: A Review

I’m great at it. It’s terrible.

Don’t hate the player, hate the game.

1 out of 5 doggies

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Short Skirt/Long Jacket: A Review

Short Skirt/Long Jacket, Cake, 2001

I’ve chosen to review another one of my fav dance tunes or “bum boppers,” as I like to call them, after my signature dance move.

This dessert band really knows how to lay down a tasty groove. m. loves the vibraslap, while d. won’t shut up about the horn section—lamenting the missed opportunity to play trumpet in a ska band, as Grampy suggested. I may not have mastered the English language or any recognizable words yet, but I appreciate that there’s a sing-a-long section that I can participate in thanks to my perfection of the phoneme “na.”

It’s a crying shame that m. and d. didn’t buy a Chrysler LeBaron. What a majestic sounding automobile. I can only assume it’s the vehicle of choice for the rich and famous. Also, I don’t know what a Citibank is, but it sounds like a magical place where strangers will let you use pens. m. and d. keep telling me they’re off limits—pens, not Citibanks. No wait, also Citibanks *sigh*

5 out of 5 doggies

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Naps: A Review

Naps. I HATE THEM.

0 out of 5 doggies

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A is for Activist: A Review

A is for Activist, by Innosanto Nagara, 2013

Geez… what is going on in the world?!? I HAVE A MOLAR AND MY MOUTH FEELS LIKE JEAN-CLAUDE VAN DAMME IS TRYING TO BURST THROUGH MY FACE.

But, seriously, what’s going on in the world? 

I only got three months of Obama and it was probably the most comfortable part of my life. Nothing but eating, sleeping, and expecting the President of the United States to condemn acts of hatred. I think now is the right time to review a social-justice-motivated alphabet book. 

A is for Activist has a lot to offer. An easy primer on the core principals of human rights, equality, and the alphabet. There are a few words that m. and d. had to explain to me- they call it “vocabulary building.” Did you know that jicama (hee-cama) isn’t a fruit? The bright, colourful illustrations feature a wide cross-section of ages, abilities, and ethnicities because, really, if I wanted to see another white baby I could just look in a mirror. 

It isn’t perfect. It’s problematic using the word “choice” in reference to LGBTQ relationships. And, while I’m eager to be able to say “no,” it’s unfortunate that “N is for NO… NO to what must go!” shares a page spread with O “Open minds operate best.” When do I stop saying no and get my mind opened? Is that what college is for? I have so much to learn. Like, when does Obama come back? He is coming back, right? Please?

I think m. and d. find the narrative reassuring (so, thanks Oma and Grampy for that gift). Plus, there’s a cat on every page because, apparently, (spoiler alert) Zapatistas love them.

4 out of 5 doggies

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Licking the Floor: A Review

It was okay. Good enough to do twice.

3 out of 5 doggies

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Superstition: A Review

Superstition, Stevie Wonder, 1972

HAVE YOU HEARD THIS SONG? I CANNOT sit still. m. and d. often forget how long it is and the dance party goes from soul train to train wreck in 3 minutes.

Although it’s a sweet groove, I find the lyrics confusing. How did that 13-month-old baby get close enough to a mirror to break it? m. and d. won’t let me touch ANYTHING!

I think this Mr. Wonder is going to go far. He’s aptly named. I predict big things.

5 out of 5 doggies

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Natal Day Parade: A Review

There was a good turnout for for the 122nd Halifax Dartmouth Natal Day Parade. PSA parade watchers: the parade won’t start faster if you’re standing in the middle of the street.

Natal Day apparently means birthday, so these idiots got it wrong because I was born in October. While we’re on the subject of age- Sidney Crosby is a 30-year-old grown man. If he’s old enough to consider a career change, people need to stop calling him a kid. Trust me. I know.

On the upside, I saw a lot of doggies.

3 out of 5 doggies

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Hello Humpback: A Review

Hello Humpback! by Roy Henry Vickers & Robert Budd, 2017

Strikingly beautiful. I’ve long been an admirer of Pacific Northwest Coast Indigenous art and Roy Henry Vickers is a master. I particularly like the colours and textures- art that’s meant to be touched is my jam. 

It took m. and d. 15 reads to realize that there’s a rhyming scheme, but they can be a bit slow. 

Hello, Humpback. Goodbye boredom!

5 out of 5 doggies