back2ben

[back2ben]

ofpilotisms​:

hope smiled and nodded her head. “ you’re right. everything’s gonna be totally fine. no big deal right ? “ she said, chuckling nervously. it was a lot on her shoulders but hell , they were used to that by now right? fucking legacy and all that. at least she could be solidified in the knowledge that she wasn’t alone anymore. and that feeling meant more to her than anything. “ well , that’s me. what about you? how’s jedi school ? “ she asked, desperate to talk about something else.

.

He smiled at her, trying to be as comforting as possible. He knew that this was terrifying and complex but he’d be there for her in any way that he could. And sure, that didn’t solve all the problems or really could take away the anxiety about everything but he hoped it did at least a tiny bit. He shrugged. “It’s going alright. Feeling better about things every day, you know?” He still had setbacks, the loss of Ami a major one, but each time he was able to overcome it all he grew even more confident in his choice and his abilities.

[back2ben]

fieryhvpe​:

rey  shook  her  head.  “  i  think  they  look  great,  actually,  “  rey  corrected  ben  and  looked  up  at  him  with  a  bright  smile.  “  thank  you.  “  rey  never  expected  gifts  so  when  they  were  given  one,  no  matter  what  kind  of  gift  it  was,  she  always  loved  it.  and  she  really  loved  trying  different  flavors  of  things  &  different  types of  foods,  which  ben  knew.  this  present  was  perfect.  “  i’m  glad  you  like  it!  “  rey  grinned.  it  was  a  small  gift,  but  it  was  as  heartfelt  as  the  ones  she  made  for  breena  and  obi-wan.  they  give  a  slight  shrug  and  scrunch  their  nose.  “  weird’s  …  one  way  to  put  it.  “  at  least  he  was  here  in  person  and  this  wasn’t  over  their  dyad  connection.  “   it’s  been  awhile.  “

.

“Thanks!” He replied, taking the compliment even though he knew that they could be better. “You’re welcome.” He nodded in reply, a smile working across his face. Whenever Rey smiled he just couldn’t help but to be smiling too. They had that effect on him every time. He sighed, nodding in agreement. As much as Ben was glad that they had their connection, nothing compared to them being together in person. “Weird is probably putting it mildly.” He noted. “This path month sucked.” That was also probably putting it mildly. 

[back2ben]

ofpilotisms​:

hope chuckled softly and shook her head. she was glad this went well - not that she expected it to not go well. she could always count on ben to say something to make her laugh even when she didn’t feel like it. she loved him for it. “ oh you have a point there, “ she teased right back.  “ everything does seem to make more sense now, “ she agreed. “ it’s still a little… intimidating, i guess. but it’s gonna be better than before. it has to be. “ hope would do anything to help change the course of the galaxy and stop someone like snoke from ruining it for everyone else again. it seemed like her destiny was calling. 

.

Ben smiled, glad that he could at least get a little laugh out of his twin. Things were so tense the past month,  a little laughter was much needed. He nodded in agreement. “It is intimidating but it doesn’t have to be. You have me and Obi Wan and Circe. We are all on your side. You got this.” He gave her a reassuring smile. He’d be there for Hope every step of the way. “Whatever you need, you let me know, okay?”

[back2ben]

“ have i ever lied to you ? … i mean , in this room . ” - poe

PORTAL MEMES | CLOSED.

“In this room?” Ben asked, glancing around and taking in his surroundings. “No. But then again, this is the first time I’m in this room so...” He laughed, giving his friend a little nudge. “Kidding... I’m kidding!” 

[back2ben]

“ nice job breaking it , hero . ” - alana !

PORTAL MEMES | CLOSED.

Ben was really hoping that no one was around to notice him dropping everything out of his hands and onto the floor but he heard Alana’s voice and it was clear that he wasn’t. Great. “Uh... yeah. Fucked that up, huh?” He said as he bent down to pick up his things. 

[back2ben]

“ killing you and giving you good advice aren’t mutually exclusive . ” || Kenzie

PORTAL MEMES | CLOSED.

Ben’s eyes went wide. “Wait... what?” He was just trying to order some caf and now it seemed like he was getting a death threat? What the hell? “I just wanted to know if the bold caf was super strong but um.. that’s cool too? I guess?”

[back2ben]

ofpilotisms​:

hope smiled. she was so glad things were like this again. they could be themselves and not have to worry about influence from anyone else. they could be true and pick their own destinies for once. hope wasn’t nervous about what the future held. she’d have her brother , and that was a fact that would always be true. she squeezed his hand back and let out a breath. “ thank you, “ she told him. “ for trusting me on this. i don’t know what i’d do without you. “ really , she didn’t. even during the worst times of their lives, at least they had each other. she nodded her head in agreement. “ obi wan suggested maybe our own force bond needs balance too. you with the jedi and the light, and me with the sith and the dark to match. “

.

Ben smiled at his sister, shaking his head in dismissal of her thanks. “Of course. You never doubted me so of course I’m going to be right by your side. Plus, you’re ten times smarter than me so it’s actually going to turn out good here.” He was glad that he could somewhat joke about the situation and while it really wasn’t funny, if he didn’t find some humor in it he’d be a complete mess. He was just glad that he and hope were finally getting the chance to make decisions for themselves without the influence of outside forces pushing them one way or another. It was should have happened all along. He nodded. “That… makes a ton of sense actually.” It seemed like everything was so far out of sync that he wouldn’t be surprised if balance needed to exist amongst them as well.

[back2ben]

ICONIC  THINGS  GLaDOS  FROM  PORTAL  HAS  SAID .

“   we’ve   both   said   a   lot   of   things   you’re   going   to   regret  .   ” “   i   think   we   can   put   our   differences   behind   us  …   you   monster  .   ” “   it’s   been   a   long   time  .   ” “   how   have   you   been  ?   ” “   this   will   be   our   only   chance   to   talk  .   ” “   you   are   a   horrible   person  .   ” “   i’ll   give   you   credit :   i   guess   you   are   listening   to   me  .   ” “   remember   before ,   when   i   was   talking   about   smelly   garbage   standing   around   being   useless  ?   that   was   a   metaphor  .   i   was   actually   talking   about   you  .   ” “   did   you   know   that   people   with   guilty   consciences   are   more   easily   startled   by   loud   nois—   *blasts   airhorn*   ” “   nobody   but   you   is   that   pointlessly   cruel  .   ” “   i   made   it   all   up  .   ” “   i   am   very   pleased   you   made   it   through   my   final   challenge ,   where   i  …   pretended   i   was   going   to   murder   you  .   ” “   i   know   you’re   there  .   i   can   sense   you  .   ” “   you   haven’t   escaped ,   you   know  .   ” “   you’re   not   even   going   the   right   way  .   ” “   uh - oh  .   somebody   cut   the   cake  .   i   told   them   to   wait   for   you ,   but   they   did   it   anyway  .   ” “   didn’t   we   have   some   fun ,   though  ?   ” “   you   really   shouldn’t   be   here  .   this   isn’t   safe   for   you  .   ” “   it’s   not   too   late   for   you   to   turn   back  .   ” “   okay  .   i   am   going   to   kill   you   now  .   ” “   someday ,   we’ll   remember   this   and   laugh  .   and   laugh  .   and   laugh  .   ” “   you’re   not   a   good   person  .   you   know   that ,   right  ?   ” “   this   is   your   fault  .   it   didn’t   have   to   be   like   this  .   ” “   i’m   not   kidding  .   turn   back ,   or   i   will   kill   you  .   ” “   i’m   going   to   kill   you ,   and   all   the   cake   is   gone  .   ” “   you   don’t   even   care ,   do   you  ?   ” “   despite   your   violent   behaviour ,   the   only   thing   you’ve   broken   so   far   is   my   heart  .   ” “   maybe   you   should   marry   that   thing   if   you   love   it   so   much  .   do   you   want   to   marry   it  ?   …   WELL   I   WON’T   LET   YOU  .   how   does   that   feel  ?   ” “   i’ll   tell   you   what   that   thing   isn’t :   it   isn’t   yours  .   so   leave   it   alone  .   ” “   have   i   ever   lied   to   you  ?   …   i   mean ,   in   this   room  .   ” “   killing   you   and   giving   you   good   advice   aren’t   mutually   exclusive  .   ” “   nice   job   breaking   it ,   hero  .   ” “   this   isn’t   brave  .   it’s   murder  .   what   did   i   ever   do   to   you  ?   ” “   i   honestly ,   TRULY   didn’t   think   you’d   fall   for   that  .   ” “   you’re   about   to   become   the   immediate   past   president   of   the   being   alive   club  .   ” “   i   hate   you   so   much  .   ” “   look ,   even   if   you   think   we’re   enemies ,   we’re   enemies   with   a   common   interest :   revenge  .   ” “   i   thought   you   were   my   greatest   enemy ,   when   all   along ,   you   were   my   best   friend  .   ” “   under   the   circumstances ,   i’ve   been   shockingly   nice  .   ” “   i   used   to   want   you   dead   but   now   i   only   want   you   gone  .   ” “   you’ve   got   your   short ,   sad   life   left  .   ” “   goodbye ,   my   only   friend  …   oh  —   did   you   think   i   meant   you  ?   that   would   be   funny   if   it   weren’t   so   sad  .   well ,   you   have   been   replaced  .   i   don’t   need   anyone   now  .   ” “   when   i   delete   you   maybe   i’ll   stop   feeling   so   bad  .   ” “   go   make   some   new   disaster  .   ” “   you’re   someone   else’s   problem  .   ” “   i’m   brilliant  .   i’m   not   bragging ,   it’s   an   objective   fact  .   ” “   i   hate   you  .   it   can’t   be   for   no   reason  .   you   must   deserve   it  .   ” “   i   don’t   suppose   you   ever   stopped   whining   long   enough   to   reflect   on   your   own   shortcomings  .   ”

[back2ben]

fieryhvpe​:

rey  had  celebrated  valentine’s  day  the  year  before  with  poe  and  finn.  it  had  been  the  first  valentine’s  day  that  she  had  ever  celebrated  and  …  she  hadn’t  even  known  much  about  the  holiday.  it  wasn’t  something  that  was  celebrated  on  jakku.  then  again  jakku  hardly  did  anything  for  life  day  or  the  new  year  so  that  wasn’t  surprising.  “  hey,  “  rey  smiles  small  and  watched  as  he  sat  beside  her.  it  felt  like  years  since  they  had  time  for  each  other.  “  you  made  them?  “  she  asks,  even  if  it  was  clear  thanks  to  the  poor  frosting  job.  “  happy  valentine’s  day,  “  she  reached  behind  her  and  pulled  out  a  rock  that  fit  in  her  palm.  it  was  in  the  shape  of  a  heart,  painted  black  &  with  a  few  small  painted  designs.  it  wasn’t  anything  big  or  exciting  but  after  seeing  the  rock  in  the  forest  she  couldn’t  leave  it  alone.

.

Ben nodded, glancing down at the mess of frosting a bit sheepishly. “Yeah... you can probably tell. But Hope helped with the actual cupcake so I’m sure it’ll taste great even if they don’t look so great.” Of course they had to be at least a little messed up looking. If not, it wouldn’t really be a gift from Ben. He smiled as he took the little rock from Rey. He instantly adored it. “This is so cool!” He turned it over in his hands a few times, taking in all the little detail that went into it. “I love it. Thank you.” He was excited to put it in his room on his little table beside the plants that Rey had given him. (The ones that he was taking very good care of by the way!!) “Happy Valentine’s Day.” He said, pressing a soft kiss to her lips. “Sorry things have been so... weird.” That was putting it mildly.

[back2ben]

Ben had never been in a relationship on Valentine’s Day so he wasn’t exactly sure what he should be doing here. He felt a little stupid as his eyes scanned through the different things for sale in the marketplace the days leading up to the holiday, just feeling like Rey wouldn’t get much use out of any of them. He wanted to do something more than just pick something up and give it to them so instead he met up with sister and made some cupcakes for Rey. They weren’t great. Far from it, really. They were lopsided and messy but it was the thought that counts, right? He hoped so.

“Hey…” he said as he found Rey sitting in the little meadow they had meditated in before. He moved to sit down beside her, holding up the plate up cupcakes. “I made these for you. Happy Valentine’s Day.” // @fieryhvpe​ for Rey!

[back2ben]

ofpilotisms​:

hope knew what she was telling ben , it was a lot. she had gone through all the emotions herself ; confusion , denial , anxiety , before finally landing on this sense of acceptance. she couldn’t have gone through it all without obi wan and circe. really , she didn’t know where she’d be without the two of them. “ i love you , “ she told him sincerely. ben was so important to her, and she didn’t know what she’d do without her twin brother. “ i know that’s … a lot to take in. but i don’t think i’ve ever felt so secure in anything before. the light side thing has always been a struggle. this just feels right , y’know ? “

.

“I love you too.” He echoed, not missing a beat. He loved his sister. He always would. She had been there for him when no one else was. She was constantly his rock in life. He didn’t deserve her. Nothing would ever change that. He nodded. “It is a lot but it makes sense.” He reached out and gave her hand a little squeeze. “If it feels right then I am right here by your side through this. I trust you and your intuition on this.” Besides, he learned through Circe that following the path of the dark side of the force didn’t have to be an experience similar to Ben’s. He was taken advantage of by bad people. He wouldn’t let that happen to Hope and he knew that Circe wouldn’t either.  “This... feels right.” He noted the longer he sat with it. “It feels like we’re finally finding balance for the first time in awhile.”  

[back2ben]

ofpilotisms​:

hope let herself pause a moment before continuing on. there was a lot to get through, and she wanted to make sure she recounted it as accurately as possible. “ he mentioned the prophecy of the chosen one. and how he technically did destroy the sith, but only for a time. and if something doesn’t change, that cycle is just going to repeat itself. the sith code has to change. it’s been so corrupted over the years thanks to people like palpatine and snoke. anyway, the force showed me another vision of the sith thrones. it was very clearly circe and me. the force was showing me my path lies with the sith, not the jedi, “ she said. it was a nerve wracking thing to admit but she knew if anyone would understand, it was ben. 

.

Ben listened carefully. He didn’t interrupt her, he let his sister tell him everything that was going on with her. He was quiet for a few moments, trying to process what she was saying. That was … a lot. It was a lot to handle. But at the same time, it made a lot of sense. Once Hope said it, Ben felt something within himself that just let him know that she was on the right path. Maybe some of her intuition was rubbing off on him. He nodded slowly. “Alright… yeah. Okay. I get what you’re saying.” Of course he was nervous about the situation, not wanting the same thing that happened to him to happen to his sister but he trusted her. He trusted Circe. He knew that balance was definitely needed and if there was anyone that would be able to bring that balance it would be her. “I’m glad you’re finding your path.” He said with a definitive nod. He had been lost for so long, he understood what it was like to never feel as though he was on the right path in life. “I’m really happy for you, Hope. I’m so glad you know the path you should be taking. I’m here for you, okay? Whatever you need.”

[back2ben]

ofpilotisms​:

hope chuckled softly and rolled her eyes right back at him. they really had picked up a lot of movements from the other. they were twins after all, there was no denying that. “ alright fine - you sleep more than a cat, “ she said, adjusting the phrasing of her words. she took a breath and nodded her head. “ okay, so. i meant to tell you this sooner, but then pryde showed up and with everything going on. it didn’t seem like the right time, “ she started. she wasn’t necessarily nervous to tell him what was going on , but she couldn’t ignore how important this conversation felt. “ i was doing some meditating with obi wan in the cave a while ago, before everything, and i had a force vision. of vader, “ she said, taking a pause to give him room to digest that bit of information. darth vader was sort of a touchy subject in their family, after all.

.

Ben laughed and nodded in approval. “Okay better.” He listened carefully, his eyebrows instantly knitting together at the mention of Vader. “Alright...” he said, leaning a bit forward in his seat in anticipation for what Hope was going to say. In a way he almost felt as if he knew where this was going.  They were twins, they had a strong connection to one another even without the help of the force. “What happened next?” 

[back2ben]

ofpilotisms​:

hope smiled some when the door opened. “ jerk? who - me ? “ she asked with feign shock and surprise as she walked into the room.  “ it’s not my fault you sleep more than millicent, “ she pointed out as she flopped down in one of the chairs. after the month they had, they could at least joke around a little before hope got to the important reason she had for visiting that day. more important than their co-dependency anyway. “ i need to talk to you about something, “ she said, her voice dropping into a more serious tone. she really couldn’t put it off any longer. and she didn’t want to. she told her brother just about everything, especially the important stuff in her life. 

.

He nodded. “Yep! You.” Ben rolled his eyes with a little huff. “Don’t compare me to her!” He was such a child sometimes. He flopped into a chair across from her. Hearing the serious tone of her voice she had he tilted his head to the side. “Sure, yeah. What’s up?”

[back2ben]

ofpilotisms​:

okay , so hope hadn’t meant for it to go on this long, but the past month had been a fucking whirlwind. it had been hell on batuu and there really hadn’t been a good time to tell ben about everything that had been going on with her personally. they had bigger things to worry about , like pryde and losing their sister. but pryde was dead, the prisoners were freed, things on the outpost were slowly getting back to normal. she couldn’t put off explaining everything to her brother for much longer.  she was a little surprised that he hadn’t said anything about the change in her eye color the last couple of times they were together. she figured with how crazy things had been , he either hadn’t noticed or thought it was a temporary change, like before. 

“ ben ? “ she called out as she knocked on his door. “ i swear on the force if you’re asleep i’ll just wake you up – “ she added as she waited impatiently outside the door in question. // for @back2ben​ !

.

Ben wasn’t asleep. For once in his damn life he was wide awake. Since Ami’s death and everything with Pryde he was only sleeping out of pure exhaustion at this point as opposed to his usual naps for enjoyment. Which was why he felt Hope coming his direction and was right there when she knocked on his door. “Hi.” He said, practically cutting her off from complaining about him being asleep. “I’m awake, jerk.” He teased, with only love behind his tone.  “What’s up?” He asked as he moved aside so his twin could enter the room. 

[back2ben]

ofleadersx​:

she nodded absently and lowered her head to his shoulder again. she was so exhausted. ❝ you should… um… go to them. i don’t want you to get in trouble. you can call the troopers to get me or somethin’. ❞ she didn’t want pryde to start growing distrust in ben, she didn’t want things to get bad for him the same way they were for her and gray. she and her brother were strong as hell, they could deal with this shit. they could deal with the torture and discomfort. but she didn’t want ben to suffer needlessly when he was trying to do a precarious job.

.

He nodded. She was right. It would start to look suspicious if he spent any more time here. “Alright.” He gently gave Lona another hug. She meant so much to him, he hoped that she understood how much this hurt him. He stood up and moved to the door so that he could flag some troopers down to escort Lona back to the cell where they were holding her. He had a pit in his stomach, a deep sense of fear that this wasn’t going to work out but he couldn’t let himself focus on that negativity. It had to work out. 

[back2ben]

ofleadersx​:

lona nodded a little. ❝ it’s all just a mess, i hate that this has happened. i hate that you’re in this position and i- i hate that everybody’s suffering. ❞ she pulled back slightly to look in ben’s eyes. ❝ you need to kill him, you need to. i don’t know if any of us can take much more. ❞ they’d been tortured for a month straight. she couldn’t deal with another session, she knew gray couldn’t either. they needed to give this up and just get rid of pryde.

.

Ben shook his head. “I’m in this position because I made bad choices. Don’t feel bad for me. You’re the ones I am worried about.” He looked back at her and nodded, moving his hands so that he could hold her upright a bit better. “I will. He won’t get away with this. He wont.” He wouldn’t let that happen. “You’re both going to be okay.”