backonmyshitbull

[backonmyshitbull]

cas is gone

cas has been gone for hours

cas isn't coming back

Dean's just... sitting there, in silence, emotionless.

he can't cry anymore

hes not thinking

moving

He's not even sure he's breathing

he has to be, he guesses

he doesn't want to be

he feels nothing

he feels everything

he feels like hes suffocating

he feels... incomplete

empty with a hole tgat he didn't even realized had formed

a hole that won't be filled ever again

he regrets

he blames

he fell, he realizes

he fell hard

and he won't stop falling, wanting, waiting, wishing, blaming

blame

blame

blame

regret

castiel

please

cas

he needs

he wants

he craves

he'll be left empty and disappointed

regret

regret

regret

guilt

regret

blame

him

blame him

his fault

fault

fault

wrong

mess up

disappointment

[backonmyshitbull]

I know Eddie's usually the vampire in fics because of the Kas theory but I like to imagine the chaos that would unfold if Steve became a vampire first because he was also bitten by the demobats.

The gang practically force Steve to go to the hospital because he's starting to look like a walking corpse. He's insisting he's okay, but he's clearly the furthest thing from okay. He's the least okay person they've ever seen and that's saying something.

He's all pale with sunken in eyes and too sharp cheek bones. He can't eat without getting sick, he's suddenly super sensitive to the light, he's complaining that everything is too loud and the throbbing pain in his gums is getting so annoying. He's also going between freezing and boiling and his pulse is erratic, which scares the shit out of Robin and Dustin and is ultimately what gets him to agree to have a medical professional take a look at him.

The only issue is, the doctors are stumped because they can't find any reason for his symptoms. They decide to keep him in overnight and run as many tests as possible but so far they have nothing.

In the early hours of the morning, Steve goes into cardiac arrest and is pronounced dead. As they go to wheel him to the morgue he sits up with a gasp and says, "What did you guys do? I feel so much better."

The nurses scream and the doctor apologises profusely, fearing for his job because he just accidentally pronounced the Harringtons' only son dead and almost had him taken away for an autopsy.

Hopper bullies the hospital into letting Dustin and Robin stay with Steve the next night because while he seems to oddly be doing a lot better, the doctor wants to keep him there one more night to be sure.

This time, Steve gets up out of bed at 3am and walks out of the room sniffing the air. Dustin follows him, only to be mildly horrified when Steve finds a bunch of blood bags in storage and starts drinking from them like they're Capri Suns.

When he catches Dustin watching him, he just says, "What? I was hungry and they smelled good. Is that a crime?"

"I'm pretty sure stealing blood from the hospital and drinking it is probably illegal in some capacity, yeah." Dustin answers.

"Oh my god. The demobats." Robin - who followed them both when she noticed they were gone - says, stumbling in on the scene and putting two and two together at the sight of Steve holding the empty bags, hands and lips smudged with blood. "They bit you and now you're like some kind of alternate dimension vampire."

Dustin eyes him warily. "You're not gonna try to bite any of us are you?"

"Ew! No!" Steve says, looking so offended at the idea that Robin kind of takes offense to it a little. "That would be like a mom trying to eat her child or something. Gross. Even if I got desperate, you guys would be my absolute last resort."

"Gee thanks," Robin deadpans. "Also, interesting that you went straight to 'mom'. But what if we can't get more of those blood bags, genius?"

"I don't know, we'll take as many as we can carry for now and if I run out I can always go hunt deer in the woods or something."

"Steve, no!" Dustin says, distraught. "Not Bambi and his mom!"

----------------------------------------

Later that morning, while they're waiting for someone to come and say if Steve can be discharged, Dustin speaks up. "If we're going with the usual vampire logic, does this mean you can't go out in direct sunlight?"

Steve looks thoughtful. "Only one way to find out I guess," he shrugs.

He gets up from his bed, stands next to the window and opens the blinds just enough to allow a small beam of sunlight through. Then he takes a deep breath and holds his hand out toward it.

"Wait! Don't!" Robin cries out as she realises what he's planning.

Steve rolls his eyes. "Relax, Rob. It'll probably be-"

His left hand immediately disintegrates into dust as it slips into the sunlight. Steve jerks back, shuts the blinds and leans against the wall, staring at where the hand used to be in shock.

"Well... it's a good thing I'm right-handed." He says bluntly with a little hysterical laugh, right before passing out.

----------------------------------------

It takes them a stupid amount of time but eventually, once Dustin and Robin have gotten Steve back to his house, Dustin has a realisation.

They're sitting in the living room together after covering all the windows so Steve doesn't fry the next morning and emptying the kitchen of all traces of garlic because Steve said the smell of it was making him nauseous. Then all of a sudden, Dustin jumps up out of his seat and looks at the two of them, horrified.

"Woah, woah. What's wrong?" Steve asks, immediately on alert.

"You mean aside from the fact that you now need to drink blood to survive and could accidentally burn yourself to a crisp at some point?" Robin teases, but it doesn't break the tense atmosphere.

"Eddie," Dustin says as he starts pacing. "We left him in the Upside Down."

"Uh. Yeah?" Robin replies, not sure where he's going with this.

"We didn't have time to carry him out, remember?" Steve says sadly. "I'm so sorry, Dustin."

"Oh my god. No, that's not-" Dustin says, slapping a palm to his face and shaking his head. He stops in front of Steve and turns to make direct eye contact like he's trying to project what he means into his brain. "We. Left. Eddie. In. The. Upside. Down. Steve." He says, sounding each word out deliberately.

"Yeah. I. know. Dustin." Steve says, giving him twice as much attitude back. "He's. Dead."

"What killed him, dickhead?"

The room falls silent as they process the question.

"Demobats!" Dustin explodes. "He was bitten to death by demobats! And what has literally just happened to you after dying from bites from those very same bats, Steve?"

Realisation spreads over Steve's features. "Oh."

"Yeah," Dustin replies. "Fucking, oh."

"Well, shit," Robin says, slumping back into her seat with wide eyes. "He could be wandering around all lost down there right now then."

Steve puts his one remaining hand on his chin. "You know, now that you mention it, I have felt like I have this really weird connection to something all day. Like I've been tied to someone by a rope but the rope is invisible. Huh."

Dustin and Robin both stare at him, unblinking.

He sighs and gets up. "I'll go call the others."

[backonmyshitbull]

:/

Gordon Ramsey fursona reveal!

[backonmyshitbull]

...possibly.. @allyricas

Eddie meant it when he said he was getting the hell out of Hawkins

sure, all the dimensional bullshit was over, but the town still hated him.

so he ran like a bat outta hell

he kept up with the others, yeah, but it was sparse, with half of them being kids and the others being busy with work just like himself

he works at a record shop during the day, and on weekends, he'll perform at this little dive bar down the road from his apartment

all things considered, he's doing pretty well for himself

°☆▪︎☆°

He's sitting alone at a bar, shooting the shit with random people who indulge with his theatrics

Dustin called a few days ago saying he's coming to visit soon. They agreed on Friday

which is tomorrow. He's getting in one more night of drinking before he cleans up his act at least a little bit around the kid.

his mind can't help but wander to Steve

he hasn't heard from him in awhile, last phone call was about two months ago, and it lasted almost three hours

they talked about anything and everything, steve had mentioned not being able to call for a while. Sure, he was disappointed, but its not like they're dating or anything, so hes not *that* disappointed...

he took another swig of his cheap beer. He barely registers someone announcing a singer coming to the small stage that he is quite familiar with

he sorta remembers seeing a poster outside for someone singing tonight. He didn't pay much attention to it, though

he turns to look at the stage, leaning back against the bar

he can't see who's on stage yet, but he can silhouette of a man holding a guitar.

the stage lights begin to brighten a little while still staying quite dim

the man on stage starts to hum a little into the mic

Eddie briefly recognizes the voice before the lights brighten more

"What will you do

Now that you're gone?

On to somebody new

Well, that didn't take long"

oh my god its steve

Steve singing in this deep, rough voice that he's never heard from him

Eddie sits there frozen, eyes wide and jaw slack.

"And where you gonna go?

Not that I care

And who can you trust

Now that I'm not there?"

He's playing the guitar too,

Steve Harrington is *playing the guitar*

he looks like a wet dream standing up there, singing lowly, even the bar was quiet now, all the focus now on the Greek god of a man that is steve Harrington

the lights hit his hair just right to make it almost golden. He's tanner now, and god, he looks *delectable*.

his eyes hooded as he sings, hair unstyled for once

Eddie is about ready to jump up on the stage and take a bite out of him

"Never known such unhappiness

Never thought it would be like this

What will I do now that you're gone?

Now that you're gone"

he isn't even paying attention to the lyrics. He can't, not while Steve looks like the sun himself

is he drooling?

he can't really tell when the only thing going through his mind is 'stevestevestevestevestevesteve'

Eddie always knew he liked steve. he's cursed to have crushes on pretty straight boys

"and god was steve pretty

And what will you do?

Now you're all alone

Who's gonna keep you warm

Out there in the cold?"

it was easy when he knew him just as King steve

a dick who didn't give anyone the time of day, with his loyal followers who caused most of the trouble

but then he met *steve*

sweater wearing, caring, badass, mom of the group, *straight boy* steve.

who looks at him like he matters...

and here he is, singing his heart out while looking way too pretty for his own good

and Eddie is fucked.

[backonmyshitbull]

Eddie meant it when he said he was getting the hell out of Hawkins

sure, all the dimensional bullshit was over, but the town still hated him.

so he ran like a bat outta hell

he kept up with the others, yeah, but it was sparse, with half of them being kids and the others being busy with work just like himself

he works at a record shop during the day, and on weekends, he'll perform at this little dive bar down the road from his apartment

all things considered, he's doing pretty well for himself

°☆▪︎☆°

He's sitting alone at a bar, shooting the shit with random people who indulge with his theatrics

Dustin called a few days ago saying he's coming to visit soon. They agreed on Friday

which is tomorrow. He's getting in one more night of drinking before he cleans up his act at least a little bit around the kid.

his mind can't help but wander to Steve

he hasn't heard from him in awhile, last phone call was about two months ago, and it lasted almost three hours

they talked about anything and everything, steve had mentioned not being able to call for a while. Sure, he was disappointed, but its not like they're dating or anything, so hes not *that* disappointed...

he took another swig of his cheap beer. He barely registers someone announcing a singer coming to the small stage that he is quite familiar with

he sorta remembers seeing a poster outside for someone singing tonight. He didn't pay much attention to it, though

he turns to look at the stage, leaning back against the bar

he can't see who's on stage yet, but he can silhouette of a man holding a guitar.

the stage lights begin to brighten a little while still staying quite dim

the man on stage starts to hum a little into the mic

Eddie briefly recognizes the voice before the lights brighten more

"What will you do

Now that you're gone?

On to somebody new

Well, that didn't take long"

oh my god its steve

Steve singing in this deep, rough voice that he's never heard from him

Eddie sits there frozen, eyes wide and jaw slack.

"And where you gonna go?

Not that I care

And who can you trust

Now that I'm not there?"

He's playing the guitar too,

Steve Harrington is *playing the guitar*

he looks like a wet dream standing up there, singing lowly, even the bar was quiet now, all the focus now on the Greek god of a man that is steve Harrington

the lights hit his hair just right to make it almost golden. He's tanner now, and god, he looks *delectable*.

his eyes hooded as he sings, hair unstyled for once

Eddie is about ready to jump up on the stage and take a bite out of him

"Never known such unhappiness

Never thought it would be like this

What will I do now that you're gone?

Now that you're gone"

he isn't even paying attention to the lyrics. He can't, not while Steve looks like the sun himself

is he drooling?

he can't really tell when the only thing going through his mind is 'stevestevestevestevestevesteve'

Eddie always knew he liked steve. he's cursed to have crushes on pretty straight boys

"and god was steve pretty

And what will you do?

Now you're all alone

Who's gonna keep you warm

Out there in the cold?"

it was easy when he knew him just as King steve

a dick who didn't give anyone the time of day, with his loyal followers who caused most of the trouble

but then he met *steve*

sweater wearing, caring, badass, mom of the group, *straight boy* steve.

who looks at him like he matters...

and here he is, singing his heart out while looking way too pretty for his own good

and Eddie is fucked.

[backonmyshitbull]

the king sits disinterested on his throne, knights by his side, while the horribly boring feast continues

hes the king, yet he cant seem to catch a break

lady Eleanor has tried five times to seduce him into taking her to his bed chambers

sir Maverick stands too close as he talks, breath reeking of wine as he slurs his words

It's too loud, too many people for his liking

yet there is one single solace among the sea of drunk royals

a lowly jester

adorned in a large hat and puffy pants made in horried colors that do nothing for the jesters' lovely brown eyes

the jester smiles and dances, makes a fool of himself as any good jester would

the king watches and laughs quietly so as not to gain the attention of the others

he rests his head on his palm with a very small smile

almost unnoticeable if you weren't paying attention

but oh, was the jester paying attention to the sad and lonely king

That's what the townspeople and neighboring kingdoms refer to him

the sad bear in his lonely castle

rarely seen outside

never seen in other kingdoms

its alluring to most

the woman giggled and call him mysterious

the men grow jealous but call him stoic and what 'a real man should strive to be'

no one truly knows the sad king

except for one.

"So I see you're making a fool of yourself again," he says, voice gruff and deep, and oh so wonderful to hear

"it is my job, sire," the jester bows with a grin, the bells on his hat jingle with each movement

the king shakes his head, and you can see the fondness in the gesture

and oh how the jester falls even further in love with this man

nothing could ever come of it, he knows

he is a jester, a servant

and the king is well... the king

he has no chance

even if the king did love LIKE him back, it would never be allowed

so he's content with watching, making his king smile that oh so soft smile

watching as queen after queen, princess after princess flirt with the man he'd give everything for one night with

yeah

content..

[backonmyshitbull]

but it was all for not as I never saw her again

yet

it is as if I see everywhere

in the setting sun

rising moon

falling stars

blooming flowers

rushing rivers

and sometimes

in myself

[backonmyshitbull]

I miss you

i miss you even though im the one who left you

i miss you even though i shouldn't miss you

I miss you even though i don't want you back

I miss the person you are when we met, even though you didn't really change

I miss you even though I never want to talk to you again

I hate you

I hate that I miss you

I hate when you talk

I hate that I left

im happy i left

I hate you

im happy I get to miss you because that means we stopped talking

[backonmyshitbull]

"how many loops has it been..?" "..I lost count"

MY FAVORITE DAMN THING

UGGHHH

[backonmyshitbull]

I love being in the know of things while others aren't

like haha I know shit and you don't

and then it's just a stupid inside joke called peanut butter between me and my friends

[backonmyshitbull]

IM JUST HERE TO TALK ABT BULLSHIT THAT INTEREST ME AND WRITE SHIT