bagelsandlocks

[bagelsandlocks]

I LOVE this entire series of albums...please see attached lyrics.

They show Penelope is witty and beautifully sneaky by asking Oddie to move the bed. She knew the answer. She wanted to be sure the gods weren't testing her with a fake.

I love Oddie's reply "how could you ask me of this?!" And how he says it in the song is great. He's totally outraged.

my favorite hc is that penelope was told by the ladies in waiting to go and stay in her room and not to come out for anyone

and she hears screams and whatnot and is like oh fuck now theyve done it, the suitors are gonna destroy the place

only to hear the screams lessen in volume and being like ? are they killing each other?

but then she hears a scream clear as day "THIS WILL BE YOUR FATE" and she's like🧍‍♀️no fuckin shot my husband is down there on a murder spree

and she immediately starts pacing back and forth like "LADIES HELP ME PREPARE I NEED TO LOOK DIVINE" and it's a full makeover sequence

and they're posing her and being like "hold on, tilt your chin up a little bit, turn to the side like 12 degrees- BOOM my lady you are serving such cunt"

and then they hear odysseus' loud ass steps going up the stairs and all the ladies scatter while penelope tries to look nonchalant like "AHEM....😳 is it you? have my prayers been answered?"

[bagelsandlocks]

can i ask what filter you used on your animal crossing pocket camp post? it's so pretty!

Of course, and I've been looking to find it! It was a preset filter on my Samsung phone...but now I can't find it and I feel like I imagined it 🤣🤣

[bagelsandlocks]

a quick step by step guide on what to do if you come back to your apartment and find yourself locked out because your front door is frozen shut

kick the bottom of the door for 10 minutes

text your landlord

remember your landlord is on vacation and also in her mid 50′s so it takes about 36 hours to receive a response

briefly wonder why the fuck you moved the canada

remember that college tuition is significantly cheaper here than in the united states 

look up and notice your cat is at the window, staring at you. he paws at the window lightly and meows. it’s devastating. his eyes are so big and imploring. decide that you have to get inside your apartment at all costs. not even god himself can stop you from feeding your cat his chicken wet food dinner. frida kahlo herself could descend from the heavens and ask “hey you wanna bang?” and you’d say “hell yeah but first let me open this door so i can feed my cat his dinner”

remember there is a starbucks 3 blocks down the street from you

enter. the barista gives you a weird look for entering a starbucks at 7pm on a tuesday

order a venti cup of hot water. you order in french because the barista just said “bonjour” instead of “bonjour, hi.” you have a strong american accent. you hit the r in merci a little too hard to compensate. you embarrass yourself.

exit the starbucks clutching the massive cup of hot water in your hands. it’s burning your fingers.

return. methodically pour the starbucks cup of water all over the the door frame. it begins moving a little but still wont open

back up

ensure your doc martens are properly gripping the sheet of ice covering the ground. many people have told you to stop wearing doc martens in the winter, despite your protests that theyre actually the ideal winter boot. also, you’re a lesbian and punk’s not dead

release a pterodactyl screech and sprint towards the door, slamming the full force of your pathetically tiny 5′2″ 110lb body into it

you dont know any of your neighbors so you dont care about maintaining your pride anyways

the door swings open

run up the stairs

open the actual door to your apartment and yell MOMMY’S HOME MY LITTLE BITCHASS BABY BOY DONT WORRY at your cat

cat flings his body to the ground and starts purring like he does every time you come home

write tumblr post

[bagelsandlocks]

Y'all ever open a book on a new subject, read a little bit, and have to put it back so you can process the way in which your mind was just expanded?

[bagelsandlocks]

You can HUG the ghosts! I can't stop playing Cozy Grove 🥰

[bagelsandlocks]

Feel free to add me on Animal Crossing Pocket Complete 🥰✨️

[bagelsandlocks]

When your genocidal warmongering colonialist imperialistic buff butch milf wolf mom wants you to join your home country’s military industrial complex but you’re too busy being artdeco steampunk fenty beauty mogul diplomat goddess with a buff latino-adjacent boytoy who has a situationship with a sad eastern European 90’s heroin-chic machine messiah Czech hunter twink boyfriend

[bagelsandlocks]

Fresh air is good for the soul ✨️

[bagelsandlocks]

Accurate.

I tried to clean my home but it seems like nothing ever gets done🤔

[bagelsandlocks]

There you have it folks...

This morning at 5AM, we have found it...

A wild bagelsandlocks spotted in it's natural habitat...

Daydreaming before the annihilation...

I'm sorry gingerbread community, there will be no survivors!

[bagelsandlocks]

Same Lucky...same

[bagelsandlocks]

You don't have to be doing the same thing as me. Your presence is enough ✨️💕

[bagelsandlocks]

I'm on a quest through Inkomplete Bay!

How ironic since I have so any incomplete tasks! Sometimes (all the time) it's hard to start tasks, let alone finish them.

It can be so daunting to see the list...and it scrolls...ugh, motivation is depleting...

Use your mantra...

Small actions lead to Big actions

'Top Priority' filter first.

Clear out leftover 'Self Care' filter.

Clear out remaining 'Chores' filter.

I need to have those heals up and ready for the party!

FOR THE PARTY! 💪✨️

[bagelsandlocks]

This is my wolf Toast, he also helps me fish during my nightly adventures 🥰

Don't forget to give your cute fur-baby some pets ✨️

[bagelsandlocks]

Take a moment to stretch out your neck and shoulders. Maybe even enjoy a favourite beverage like Rosie.