Welcome, losers 😌 This is my stuff! 31, Bi af. just here to be my wonderful, weird ass self. Mostly reblog shit I like. Sometimes I share my poems or songs on here. Classic burnout millennial who fancies himself an artist. Enjoy, degenerates!
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DEAD 💀 WHY THIS TRUE THO? 🤣🤣💁
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Me af circa 2023
Feelin’ an awful lot like empty space
#art#not my art#but im alive#to quote MisterWives#“Im sorry you had to see me like that”#“I'm glad I saw this place”#“Now I know Im never coming back”
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I wrote a song about my mom. It's crazy this August it'll be 4 years since she passed. I know a lot of what I write is deeply personal, but this may be the most personal piece I've written to date. I hope the inner turmoil and contradictory feelings that happen when an abusive parent dies is evident here. To anyone who has dealt with, or is still dealing with an abusive parent, I send my love and any spare energy I have these days. I see you. Don't give up.
Y mama, no sé dónde estés, pero quiero que sepas que te sigo amando, a pesar de todo. Ay días dónde me odio por seguir amándote. Escribiendo canciones como está ayuda.
Anyway, enjoy at your own risk.
Cool Mom
Now that it's spring, my heads filling with movies
Miles of tape of days gone moving through me
If I'm not careful, I'll be watching for hours
Rewind the good parts, make note of the flowers
Oh this parts good, there she is smiling at me
Even in crowds, she stood out, guess we all did
She was so loud and damn proud when they called me
To get my diploma; "You're gonna go far, kid"
Funny how time can distort the tape in me,
Switching the vibe of a scene that was happy
So when I linger too long on a good scene
Moments of drunken abuse flash on the screen
I remember being confused
And if I'm honest, kinda pissed too
When my friends said that they wished that
They had a cool mom like I did
Cause cool moms, they let you smoke weed
And come home late piss drunk at 16
But they beat you when your dad cheats
And split your mind with pointed deceit
It's hard to pin down the damn point of no return
The love bombs were daily but so were her burns
Playing a saint, twisting truths to match the vibe
She was my best friend, it's true, but oh the lies
But wait now I'm back on that little orange hill
Before the violence when God was still real
There I am crying, scared of the storm outside
You burnt palms, shouted prayers till it died
Many a storm you killed to soothe my fears
How dare you leave me with unresolved tears
I still get anxious when the weather is rough
Now that she's gone, stormy days are just tough
But,
I remember being confused
And if I'm honest, kinda pissed too
When my friends said that they wished that
They had a cool my like I did
Cause cool moms, they battle hurricanes
And wipe your tears when your young heart breaks
But then they hit you with a closed fist
So now you take it out on your wrist
Perhaps I'll forgive by the end of this song
They say it's healthy and the way to move on
But maybe I'm too weak or maybe I'm strong
All I know is what you did to us is wrong
All I know is what you did to us is sick
I'll spare the gory details where the devil lives
But best believe when I say that the devil lives
Best believe when I say that the devil loves
Best believe when I say that the devil gives
Best believe when I say that you'll pay on blood
So no, hell no I won't forgive
No I won't forgive
Cause even in your dying words you didn't give a shit,
I remember being confused
And if I'm honest, kinda pissed too
When my friends said that they wished that
They had a cool mom like I did
And goddamnit I'm still confused
Why the fuck am I still confused?
#bandito's writing#bandito's song#bandito's lyrics#my song#my lyrics#personal#mom stuff#tw parental abuse#tw self h4rm#tw abuse#spilled ink#writers on tumblr#songwriters on tumblr
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I had meant to write posts about each episode in season two, but work got crazy and I actually missed 3 episodes in a row. Well I caught up today. This side-by-side caught my eye. Are y'all paying attention? That big reveal at the end of episode 5? Pay attention. Good people are capable of unspeakable evil just as much as the next person. And once you cross that line, well... fans of the game know what it all leads to in the end.

like father, like daughter
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A girl I had an *intense* crush on in college is now a boy and his name is Billy and we reconnected on Instagram and holy shit he is still such an attractive human being no matter the gender anyways, he keeps hearting all my Instagram stories and all my vain-ass ever does is post myself, so like he's flirting with me right? Right? I'm new to flirting with boys, and even though we definitely made-out in the past before, I'm not totally sure if they're even attracted to men anymore, let alone a cis man ahhhhh 😭
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Homies(?)
"Well, that wasn't very chill"
I quip to myself in the dark
Like a child trying to cheer up
Their alcoholic mother
Stupid, gorgeous man, why must have you let your beautiful hands
Wander where they so very clearly
Do not belong?
"We're homies," You try to reassure
Your nervous eyes meeting mine
As you continue to touch
Without permission
Stupid, sad, married man,
Why did you choose me
As the latest skeleton,
To add to your collection?
I made a quick exit.
You text before I make it home
Then you call,
"Are we good?"
"Yeah, we're cool"
#personal#spilled ink#spilled poetry#my poetry#my writing#bandito's poetry#bandito's writing#what just happened
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It's time I admit I'm holding on to my long hair at least partly in loyalty to my ex wife. And while I do love my long hair, I feel like it's time for a change. Things are going good these days, it's a new era and so far it's been lovely. So, time for a new look! I think I can finally go through with it. Ever since a preteen I've always played it wild and loose with my hair, rocking many looks and colors, but I'm at a loss for what to do now. Ironically, I also don't "care" enough about my hair to be deadset on having it perfect in any style. Sooo, fuck it gonna make a poll!!! Below are pics of past hairstyles I've had in the past. I'll get whatever gets the most votes, 🤘
A:

B

C:

D:

E:

F:

G:

#personal#personal growth#time for a change#I've put it off for long enough#new era#new look#poll#polls#random polls
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My Sun and Stars

I wonder what went through your head
When I set fire to your identity
I wonder if we had similar reactions
I wonder if we had similar remedies
It is sick, after all...
A cancer of the spirit
And I was angry that day
Decided to test your limits
I must say, I'm quite sad
That I seem to have scared you off
Your silence speaks to bad habits
Like an anxious smokers cough
Or did you call me crazy?
Are you that far gone?
I truly hope not,
My pretty plastic swan
...nah
I'll see you again before the end.
#poem#poems and poetry#my poetry#my writing#journal thoughts#bandito's writing#bandito's poetry#poets on tumblr#writers on tumblr#survivor
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Wrote a song about a recent one-night(ish) stand. After copious marijuana smoking and YouTube scrolling, I made this! Take a listen, I like how it came out. Indie Singer-Songwriter vibes with this one.
24 Hour Lover - SoundCloud
Listen to 24 Hour Lover by dark eyes on #SoundCloud
Lyrics below:
24 Hour Lover
You messaged me,
"Hey, I dig your vibe and I wanna meet"
Said you'd take the bus
Cause I had no car, it's embarrassing
But I liked your smile
And your brown skin, so I said okay
Smoked a cigarette
And paced around while I tried to wait
And there you were
Dressed in sweats and some flip flops
Took you to my room
You brought liquor and a lot of pot
And we both played coy
Played some music I thought you'd enjoy
You stared into my eyes
As I slowly began to lose track of time
I lost track of time
Many moons since I've seen that look
The kind they inked between the pages of your dirty books
Is it the crossfade, is it fate, love?
"I think they want me carnally,
but I'm not sure"
"Oh, I'm not sure"
Then you bent over so casually
And made sure I looked
Marked me as your next casualty
Then my blood ran hot
Bring up filthy numbers and you climb on top
Then you hesitate
"Can you please shut the lights, oh I'm far too shy"
And that makes me sad
Cause your body
Is a work of art
And I'd hate to think
That your suffering
"But of course, darling"
"Let's just keep touching"
"Let's keep, keep, pretending"
"Let's just keep pretending"
Many moons since I felt a tongue
As talented as theirs, almost came undone
"Does that feel good for you too, my love?
"I swear they died twice, but I'm not sure."
But on and on until we went and bent time.
It was night the next day before we said our goodbyes
And you, and you and you...
You asked for another date
I said "fuck yeah, think that sounds great!"
Waited patiently for a few days
And then I caved
"Hey, it's me,
Do you still want to hang?"
And no response
I got no response
#my music#my writing#my song#my art#bandito's music#bandito's writing#spilled ink#indie#indie music#indie artist#singer songwriter#artists on tumblr#writers on tumblr#songwriters on tumblr#musicians on tumblr#one night stand#love life#ghosted
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🤣
Joel season 1: Ellie is a cargo, all I have to do is deliver her and leave
Joel season 2: She is my daughter, I'm a proud father. What do you mean she isn't mine? I birthed her myself.
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😭
joel absolutely would grow shit weed and have a therapist who hates his guts thank you so much hbo
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THE LAST OF US SEASON 2 PREMIERED!!!
DAY ONE FAN HERE, I've been so excited for season 2 after such a strong first season! Here are my spoiler thoughts on episode one!

Just to get it out there first, I've seen some of the complaints online about Bella, but I must say they aren't warranted. Bella isn't video game Ellie's exact body type, duh, but I think it's mostly just ignorance surrounding the physical capabilities of ANY woman that size. (I'm aware of Bella's they/them pronouns, I'm using she/her since the character they play is a woman.) As an avid WMMA fan, I can tell you firsthand some of this little ladies are BEASTS and strong as hell. Just Google Weili Zhang lifting Shaq. Mind you, she's 5'4 and competes at 115 pounds. Ellie does nothing in this episode that couldn't be replicated by any other able-bodied woman her size with sufficient training and exercise. Ugh, sorry, had to get that out of my chest, people are so dumb!!!

Okay, so overall I really enjoyed the first episode. As a huge fan of the games, I was extra curious how they were gonna kick off the season, and this is very much the calm before the storm. We get a very good look at what life is like now 5 years removed from the violence of season 1. Seeing more of Joel as a member of this commune was great, as we didn't get much of that in the game. His therapy session with the always amazing Catherine O'Hara was far and away the best scene in this episode. The way she completely blindsided Joel with her brutal honesty was excellent, I was mesmerized by all the subtle shifts in emotion in both of them as the scene progressed. Pedro Pascal was awesome, his eyes go from guilty panic to hardened resolve in a matter of seconds, truly A-plus acting here, and his final assertive "I saved her" was a well earned gut-punch, ESPECIALLY if you know of what's to come.
All of Ellie's scenes were well done in my opinion. Ellie is your typical 19 year old tomboy. She plays rough, takes unnecessary risks, scoffs at authority, has killer taste in music, and is PISSED the fuck off at her dad. For good reason too, but I suppose non-gamers don't know why yet, so I do appreciate that Ellie's real issue with Joel isn't revealed here. The eternal debate surrounding The Last of Us is "Was Joel right?" in his actions at the end of the first game/season 1. I have VERY strong feelings on this, and I like that so far the show seems to be trying to challenge Joel's die-hard defenders opinions by offering us detailed glimpses of just how Joel's actions that day have affected not only the last 5 years of Ellie's life, but her overall life-trajectory.
The standout new-to-the-series performance is easily Isabela Merced's Dina. I loved her in the games, and I think I may love her more so far in the show. Her relationships with both Joel and Ellie are well constructed, and beautifully acted. Her scene with Joel was sweet and earnest, I love what little we've seen of their relationship. And her and Ellie are so perfect together. Seeing them fearlessly venture into that store to go infected-hunting was a joy to watch, which I felt was a purposeful nod to some of the fun that can be had with a friend who's along for the ride in real life watching you clear this level in the game. The bottle toss was the cherry on top!And omfg don't get me started on her big New Years scene with Ellie. With lines ripped straight from the game, Isabela is able to perfectly capture Dina's eccentric yet ever so smooth seduction of Ellie in a way that honors the source material and even elevates it to new heights, all while providing some expert dark foreshadowing. Don't believe the haters, this show was perfectly cast.
Okay, now on to my only reservation about the premier, and that's Abby and crew's appearances that bookend this episode. So far, I'm sold on Kaitlyn Dever's Abby. That "We kill him slowly" at the beginning of the episode was chilling, not only for it's menace, but also for the raw vulnerability she is able to show at the same time she makes this violent promise. This is a broken individual who has lost everything, and I believe her when she says there will be hell to pay. All that being said, I'm not sure why we got her motives revealed THAT early into the season. Her shocking introduction in the game was so well done, I'm kinda sad we won't experience that same feeling in the show. That being said, I have confidence in the team that they know what they're are doing and I'm not one of those fans who needs the adaptation to be an exact copy from the source material, because duh, it's a different medium, with different rules and ways to engage with the audience!
So overall, I would rate this episode a solid 9/10. The standout scene is easily the therapy session, as it shows what the tv medium is able to provide to such a beloved and rich story. The intro to the Stalker variety of infected was a cool sequence, perfectly spooky and well shot to satisfy the need for action. They say we'll get more infected this season, and so far this is a great start. But this is definitely a character-focused premier that takes it's time with our protagonists in their new lives five years removed from the first season. I'm very excited (and terrified) of what's to come!
#tlou#tlou hbo#tlou max#the last of us#the last of us season 2#tlou season 2#spoilers#spoiler review#review#episode 1#joel miller#ellie williams#pedro pascal#bella ramsey#isabela merced
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Stolen off FB
#about me#me when religion and/or politics come up#*casually detroys your pov*#iron fist alexander#for some reason
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So, let me guess– you just started a new book, right? And you’re stumped. You have no idea how much an AK47 goes for nowadays. I get ya, cousin. Tough world we live in. A writer’s gotta know, but them NSA hounds are after ya 24/7. I know, cousin, I know. If there was only a way to find out all of this rather edgy information without getting yourself in trouble…
You’re in luck, cousin. I have just the thing for ya.
It’s called Havocscope. It’s got information and prices for all sorts of edgy information. Ever wondered how much cocaine costs by the gram, or how much a kidney sells for, or (worst of all) how much it costs to hire an assassin?
I got your back, cousin. Just head over to Havocscope.
((PS: In case you’re wondering, Havocscope is a database full of information regarding the criminal underworld. The information you will find there has been taken from newspapers and police reports. It’s perfectly legal, no need to worry about the NSA hounds, cousin ;p))
Want more writerly content? Follow maxkirin.tumblr.com!
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Colors and Death
Is she everything you hoped that I would be?
Does she rub your neck and scratch your back before sleep?
Does she challenge your opinion or agrees
With the silver-stocking takes you put on me?
I guess love's easier
When you agree with everything
No judgement,
I just think that's kinda boring
I chose you
Cause you challenged my way of life
And I'll love you
Until the day that I die
Does she stay up late when you can't go to sleep?
Even though she has to work in the morning?
Does she write you songs and poems just like me?
I'm sure she does, with her master's degree
I mean you've always said
I was the male version of her
Was I jealous?
Well sure, but it didn't occur
To me that
One day she would be your wife
But I'll still love you
Until the day that I die
Every time I tell myself that I am done
I vomit out another shitty song
Or scratch into my old notebook
Another poem about your cold look
And that just doesn't sit well with me
What if we waited till the green of '23?
And let the ultimatum see the spring light?
What if the "maybes" turned out to be lies?
I hope the honeymoon's as golden-brown as ours
But to tell the truth, I doubt y'all make it far
The gushing wound had not turned to a scar,
Plus the red flags, say ain't that a bit bizarre?
I guess love's easier
When red is all you perceive
No judgement but,
Color is subjective, you see
I chose you
And the colors you brought to my life
And I'll love you
Until the day that I die
#bandito's art#bandito's lyrics#bandito's music#song lyrics#song#my song#my lyrics#my writing#artists on tumblr#songwriters on tumblr#musicians on tumblr#can't wait to hear what this will sound like when I'm done#just had to post the lyrics once I was happy with them#not my gifs
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Sooooo I'm seeing rumors that Frank Ocean and Peyton Talbot may be dating!?!? 😭😭 I love it when worlds clash like this, omg Peyton is one of the most exciting contenders in the UFC right now, and Frank, well, need I say more?
💕🎶My guy pretty like a girl and he got fight stories to tell 🎶💕
#frank ocean#peyton talbott#peyton talbott ufc#mmafighterxmusicicon#i love this for them if it's true
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