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jokes to make after failure that aren’t self-deprecating:

I’m the best to ever do it

Nobody saw that (best if said loudly)

No one’s ever done it like me

I could be President/they should make me President

Behold, a mere fraction of my power!

The public wants to be me soooooo bad

I’m an expert in (thing you just failed at)

How could this have happened to god’s favorite princess?

Nothing ibuprofen and a glass of water cant fix

I’m being sabotaged

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Every year I'm like "I'm not gonna do artfight again this year" and then every year I do art fight, these refs are gonna be uploaded tomorrow.

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Not saying anything new probably but I just re-realized the reason the Doctor's go to not-killing strategy is to lock people up alone in nothing-voids is because being alone is the worst punishment he can imagine. And not only has he gone through that several times but often it's self imposed send tweet

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finale so bad it unites the fandom

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anyone else, regardless of the billie piper of it all, really fucking upset that ncuti gatwa isn't the doctor anymore

he was SUCH a good one. SO good. we had nowhere NEAR enough time with him with two short ass series.

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wish world: conrad is evil for forcing belinda to be a 50s stepford wives housewife mother

reality war: the doctor changes the entire timeline to ensure belinda stays a mother when she never wanted that

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The Doctor having a baby by simply wishing her into existence is the most on brand, asexual thing the Doctor's ever done. We have spent YEARS going like "How did Susan's parent come about?? Who did he have a child with??" No, he just met a cute baby in his feelings era and wanted it real bad.

Wait wait wait!!!!!

In Space Babies, when explaining to Poppy that the Doctor and Ruby are not their parents, he says "I wish I was".

We have the god of wishes.... Did the doctor accidentally wish Poppy to be his daughter?!!? Is she Susans parent?!?!

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i mean this completely seriously but… a cup of coffee can save your life a little, a shower can save your life a little, making your favorite meal can save your life a little…….little things actually add up to really big things in the long run if you let them, the secret to surviving everyday is infusing a little bit of magic into the mundane i truly believe that

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There have been numerous injuries ⚫️_⚫️

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it’s crazy how much you can read if you read

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✨Jimbo James✨

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More relevant sketches

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Persistence isn't repetition Persistence is choosing a desired state stubbornly until it shows up

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my best tip for anyone trying to get back into reading is to remember that you can read books to avoid other responsibilities in ur life and it can become a vice if you play your cards right

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He's taken over