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also to be fair to SY's intelligence, it is 100% my fault he doesn't figure out they're Pokemon... for a while. I thought the concept of "me & my bestie/worstie are the only humans living on this mountain, but only one of us actually knows this" was Very Funny

and Shang Qinghua sure as fuck isn't going to say anything.

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FIRST step to enjoying any media is getting attached to the character whose suicidal tendencies are the most obvious

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I am so sick and tired of seeing the trans women around me being slowly hot coaled into the closet and into essentially being forced back into "Men who would really love being women but Can't because they Aren't". It is so painful stop fucking doing this to our trans women. Stop forcing them to be "Fine" with being called dude bro man he and biologically male stop it stop it stop it you are killing her. You are killing her.

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Moshang AU/fic prompt where Shang Qinghua has integral system task to betray Mobei Jun, he knows it's coming like Shen Qingqiu knew with abyss, it's why he creates mushroom body with him.

He thinks he has more time before integral tasks start where he has to start betraying his king, putting his king at risk.. until taks deadline moves up, as Luo Binghe has got out of abyss and everything has sped up.

Shang Qinghua when faced with it with helping Mobei Jun's enemies...can't do it. He knows timeline for starting is approaching fast but he doesn't.

So when Shen Qingqiu self-destructs around the same time Shang Qinghua faces system punishment and both die.

Mobei Jun watching in horror as Shang Qinghua dies, seemingly knowing he would.

Cue Mobei Jun and Luo Binghe kinda fighting and trying to both use the mausoleum, Sha Hualing is watching this shit show like and shaking her head.

Cang Qiong sect want to know why demons keep stealing their dead peak lords... they also would like to know if nay other peak lords are in secret relationships with demons.

Bonus: when looking through notes LBH protagonist halo lets him decipher SQQ and SQH's notes so they know about mushroom bodies but not where they are...

Cue Shen Yuan and airplane shenanigans with both is mushroom bodies with demon partners who are feral looking for them.

Airplane/Shen Yuan: HE'S LOOKING FOR ME TO KILL ME!

MBJ/LBH: As soon I find him I'm gonna marry him abd protect him from everything.

Bonus Bonus: MBJ and LBH found notes about them ranting about system (misunderstandings are future husbands were cursed/were fallen/cursed gods)

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time travel au where liu qingge and shen qingqiu (yuan) end up accidentally traveling a decade back in time before luo binghe was amitted to qing jing peak and before shen qingqiu had his qi deviation, but after their generation has risen to peak lords.

which means, shen yuan realizes quickly, as they're accosted by said peak lords, that he will have to face shen jiu.

as they're being cleared for demonic energy and the likes, mu qingfang of course instantly detects the poison without a cure eating away at shen yuan's meridians. liu qingge pulls a copy of the treatment plan out of his sleeve (shen yuan blushes a bit, did liu qingge always keep that on hand?), and just like in the current timeline, they agree to keep it under wraps.

shen jiu tries various times to get a moment alone with shen yuan, but he never quite manages because liu qingge is there, who is also... nice?? to him?? for some reason?? shen jiu gets a bit flustered at the solemn politeness and skitters off.

it comes out pretty quickly that shen yuan has "memory loss", and thus can't remember anything that's currently taking place in this time. shen yuan expects scorn, hatred and disdain from shen jiu, expects to be grabbed and interrogated, to arouse suspicion.

but shen jiu looks....... sad???

being transported here threw shen yuan's qi off-balance (even liu qingge had to sit down, which means it's bad), and his cultivation is already so unstable, so when the peak lords are all squabbling and arguing and threatening and raising their voice, he can feel his body shut down. he sees yue qingyuan start to move towards him, which, knowing the future yue qingyuan, he really isn't up for right now—but before the sect leader can get to him someone else is at his back, transferring him qi, holding him up gently by his shoulders, then coaxing him up, leading him outside

shen yuan's been fed qi by every peak lord at least once. he doesn't recognize this one. that means it can only be one person.

he looks up. it's shen jiu.

and it's bizarre, getting fussed over by the scum villain, having gentle hands run along his back, his hair, that clear, soothing voice calming him down. and somehow shen jiu knows exactly what to do?? somehow it works perfectly on him?? it's almost as if shen jiu has known him his whole—

oh.

bodies, like homes, hold memories, even if the original occupants are no longer there. it's the milestone marks on the doorpost that chart a child's growth, blurry photographs faded by time, scuffed floors from well-walked paths, and tiny holes in the walls where pictures once hung.

shen jiu takes him to the bamboo house, pours him tea, and asks, calmly, what he remembers from their childhood.

it's not his childhood, so shen yuan doesn't actually remember anything, but the body he's in does. the memories it holds are emotional rather than visual; he remembers being alone, scared, and hungry. he remembers anger, pain. a dark room. loud voices. he remembers his heart skipping a beat when heavy boots stomp his way. the sound of a whip.

he doesn't have to lie. the memories aren't his own, and they're from long ago, which means shen jiu has them too. and, he supposes, this is his only chance to find out what really happened.

but shen jiu doesn't say anything about it. he just nods and stares, intensely. then he asks shen yuan if he remembers yue qingyuan. shen yuan says no, he doesn't. the conversation takes a very strange turn after that. shen yuan can't help but feel a little queasy when shen jiu asks him if yue qingyuan has taken advantage of his memory loss.

"has he come into your home? has he brought you gifts, sweets? does he invite you for tea? did you accept?"

he has. shen yuan doesn't know why that would be a problem, the sect leader has been nothing but kind and helpful and patient. and generous, too.

when he says yes shen jiu looks furious.

liu qingge (his one) comes to pick him up, and his time with shen jiu is cut short. somewhere he's glad, cuddling into liu qingge's back as he holds him while they fly. he feels a little bad for yue qingyuan, knowing he's probably caused a big fight, but it doesn't sit right with him. he wishes he knew what happened.

.

liu qingge, meanwhile, is having the time of his life fighting himself. it's good practice!

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Five months into Trump's presidency, and we are in a war.

Did his supporters have that on the bingo card?

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“i also choose this guy’s dead wife” was easily the #1 funniest thing to ever be written on the internet.

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Ill post this au( inspired by tweet above) i started on my twt on Tumblr too

First part

more comic panels below

Second part

Third part

Fourth part

Shenanigans side extra

this is currently an ongoing series, if this does well here, I will continue posting these in bulk (～￣▽￣)～

feel free to ask me ab this au and give your suggestions!

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One day you think: I want to die. And then you think, very quietly, actually I want a coffee. I want a nap. A sandwich. A book. And I want to die turns day by day into I want to go home, I want to walk in the woods, I want to see my friends, I want to sit in the sun. I want a cleaner room, I want a better job, I want to live somewhere else, I want to live.

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BingLiuShen au where Shen Qingqiu's fevered heteronormativity poisoned brain decides that the best way to avoid dying for the crime of being a heterosexual male in a stallion novel is to pretend not to be heterosexual and thus not a threat to the protagonist's harem. He figures if he can hit that sweet spot where his (supposed! Not real at all!) sexuality is just a quirk of the beloved mentor then the narrative will have no choice but to keep him alive. Airplane might be a hack, but he's exactly the sort of hack who would put in a token gay character, then shunt them off to the background, only to be trotted out again when he's getting flack in the comments for sexist, homophobic, and/or generally shitty writing decisions.

And for Shen Yuan, whose stated life goal is to idle away the hours in luxury and occasionally bask in Binghe's protagonisty coolness (in a very heterosexual way of course!) that would be the perfect out. There's just one problem- how does he demonstrate his (definitely fake!) homosexuality without playing into homophobic tropes and getting himself killed for offending the genre's aggressively het sensibilities?

The answer? Pretend to be pinning away silently in unrequited love for another man. It's perfect! All he has to do is drop a few extremely subtle hints in Binghe's hearing implying having feelings he would never act on for say, Liu Qingge, and he'll be golden. After all, what person attracted to men (which he isn't!) wouldn't fall immediately in love with the Bai Zhan War God? It has the added benefit of proving what a good Token Gay he is by the fact that he saved Liu Qingge's life without any expectations or hopes and without ever even revealing his (supposed!) feelings.

Shen Qingqiu gets about a week of feeling like a genius after putting this plot into motion before Liu Qingge starts showing up at Qing Jing with small gifts and pastries and asking to spar, and well. In between melting down (because how on earth did he put it together from the grand total of three entirely ambiguous hints he dropped!) and trying to stay composed (because even the straightest guy- which he is!- would get flustered by having Liu Qingge smiling at him Like That) he figures the only rational thing to do is just Commit To the Bit, resign himself to one day becoming cultivation partners with Liu Qingge and retiring together into the background of future plot shenanigans. Their are clearly no other possible ways of dealing with this situation, and hey being with Liu Qingge of all people isn't bad. That's a fan favorite character and he's stupidly handsome and brave and kind! Shen Qingqiu could do a lot worse, especially in a world like PIDW. In fact given the alternatives, Shen Qingqiu's could probably consider himself incredibly lucky. Objectively that is. From a purely 'guy trying to survive this dumb novel' point of view. It would be an honor to have Liu Qingge's arms wrapped around him. If he where into men of course.

Meanwhile you have Luo Binghe in the background of every scene the two are in with a forced smile, internally speed running the '*fork in garbage disposal noises*' to 'I just want my Shizun to be happy! I swear!' to 'actually Liu-shishu is really nice I can see what Shizun sees in him' to 'oh no I think I want to be in the Middle Of Whatever That Is' arc.

(And of course, Binghe at the end of the day IS the protagonist, and after much trial and tribulation, is supposed to get exactly what he wants...)

And all the while you have Liu Qingge, utterly oblivious to the mental anguish and gymnastics of his shidi and shizi, who just keeps turning up at Qing Jing, because he really does like Shen Qingqiu and even if that first date was his sister's idea he's found he really does enjoy spending time with Shen Qingqiu, and also Shen Qingqiu's sticky first disciple who despite the crocodile tears is actually clearly pretty strong. He has no idea that Shen Qingqiu is silently picking out drapery for the future house while Luo Binghe tries to rationalize his out of control heartbeat as a completely normal side effect of the sparring match they just fought (Which he only keeps challenging Liu-shishu to make sure he's strong enough to protect Shizun! He swears!).

WIll the three of them ever figure it out and get their act together? Sure. Will they do it before the Conference/Abyss arc upends everything? Absolutely not.

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Thinking about how lucky it is that Shen Qingqiu (SY version) never gave Luo Binghe the wrong impression that he wanted a harem.

Like imagine they've having a conversation and Shen Qingqiu makes some offhanded comment about a harem is all well and good, but he thinks it should definitely be of a manageable size, hint hint, with individuals who get along harmoniously and support their primary spouse, hint hint, and marrying almost everyone you hook up with is just bad form because it's inevitably going to cause friction and it'd be nearly impossible to properly look after that many extra spouses, hint hint.

Luo Binghe picks up on the hints but draws the entirely incorrect conclusions. Combined with his previous inquiries into what kinds of women his shizun likes (SQQ, not wanting to ever be seen as LBH's potential romantic rival and eager to free himself of the original's lecherous reputation: I have no interest in any women whatsoever!) and some subtle inquiries about when a person should settle down (SQQ, with unexamined anxiety at the prospect of his dear disciple heading out into the world: not too soon! a man should establish himself well and figure out what he likes first, and take his time!), Luo Binghe concludes that his master has been biding his time and is building up to constructing a reasonably-sized harem of malewives.

Because apparently, Shizun believes that a man in a position of significant power should inevitably want such things. And disciple Binghe isn't thinking of "a position of significant power" as "effective god-emperor of the whole world", his current ideas of such things are more along the lines of "peak lord" really. Also why should Shen Qingqiu make so many comments about how Luo Binghe must surely be anxious to start taking lovers or daydreaming about having a billion wives unless he just thinks that's the standard for everyone? Because that's what he wants?

It was chaotic enough when just one of these guys was bracing himself for the inevitable harem-building, but if Binghe also expected he was going to have to supply Shen Qingqiu with a stable of other men, hoo boy. Binghe telling himself that he's fine with it. As long as he's first wife, Shizun can have others. Getting particularly vicious towards new guys Shen Qingqiu meets, like okay he's resigned himself to Liu Qingge, and probably maybe also Yue Qingyuan, and in those cases definitely having to fight them tooth and nail for primary spouse position (his plan is to become the undisputed master of the domestic sphere and thereby outrank them on that front, even if he can't beat their peak lord credentials), but anyone else is someone he can potentially chase off and Shizun will still have his reasonably-sized harem. If Gongyi Xiao wants into the harem he's going to have to earn it, and he's getting bottom of the pecking order!

Binghe, after they finally get together, trying to have frank discussions about the inevitable harem. Shen Qingqiu putting on a brave face because he, of course, thinks Binghe's talking about his own harem. Getting confused as to why Liu Qingge is suddenly factoring into the conversation. Then reaching entirely the wrong conclusion because oh right, Binghe is gay now and Liu Qingge is extremely pretty. Makes sense! Definitely not what Binghe means but it makes sense!

Actually this would be a hilarious way for bingliushen OT3 to happen. Just a complete comedy of errors where bingqiu are both trying to secure Liu Qingge for each other without ever concretely establishing that either of them wants him, even though they think they have.

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SVSSS Slasher AU where Shen Yuan transmigrates into a slasher story he was reading, but he never got to the end before he died, so he has no idea who the culprit is. All he knows is that his character dies horribly, and he wants to avoid that

Cue Shen Yuan doing everything to not fall for slasher tropes. He never splits up from his friends, he doesn't have sex with anyone (he wasn't planning on it anyway!!), and he does everything he can to solve the mystery without jumping to conclusions

In the friend group is Luo Binghe, who was bullied by the group when he was young and poor, but now that he has money, he inserted himself into the group to get his revenge on everyone, especially Shen Qingqiu. But right when he started his revenge, Shen Qingqiu changed. He was now nicer to everyone, especially Luo Binghe. Eventually Luo Binghe changes his plan to kill everyone but him

Soon the others in the group point their fingers at Luo Binghe for being the culprit because they think he's the only one with a possible motive, but Shen Qingqiu defends him, and tries to get everyone to calm down because he knows that in slasher stories, the one being accused by everyone is always a red herring! He now 100% believes Luo Binghe's innocence and continues investigating

Eventually it's just 3 of them left, and Shen Yuan knows that the third friend has to be the killer! They were the first to accuse Luo Binghe, and their family business has recently been going under (this was also caused by Luo Binghe), so motive! They clearly resented their rich friends and were killing them all!!

Luo Binghe kills them and Shen Yuan is happy that both he and his favorite character made it through the story alive. Luo Binghe convinces him that they should stay together forever after experiencing such an ordeal, and Shen Yuan agrees. If sometimes people in their life somehow die horribly, well he is still in a slasher, and Luo Binghe makes sure to always keep him safe!

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helen “trans people are perpetuating gender steriotypes” joyce is now upset that the scientific american is writing about how women were hunters too back in the day, not just mothers and caretakers. feminist win!

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sooooo can yall help me determine if this is a fireable offense

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svsss omegaverse au no thoughts just post-canon alpha-“alpha” bingqiu ft trans omega binghe who feels safe enough to explore for the first time.

at first sqq is thoughtlessly cruel about it— ‘binghe is an alpha among alphas; surely he shouldn’t be building nests. what’s all this fake whining—binghe can’t trick me into staying home longer by playing at being an omega. binghe’s kneading at me like a child; he really should stop that before someone mistakes him for an omega.’

never any true malicious intention, but the kind of casual sexism that flourishes in someone who has never thought to examine their beliefs or behaviors. he’s constantly communicating to binghe ‘it is wrong for an alpha to behave like an omega; being an omega is bad; you are finding comfort in the wrong things and you need to stop.’

i was trying to picture how it might come to a head. maybe a plant or potion that affects alpha and omega dynamic sexes—essentially swaps alphas into omegas and vice versa. maybe it needs dual cultivation to cure, and suddenly binghe tries his damndest to avoid sex as long as he can.

but i think what i like better is a lot more mundane.

during a period on qjp, sqq goes out to tend to his duties for the day and lbh decides to stay home. sqq is out, the house is warded to hell and back, and binghe is properly alone. so he builds a nest, and he lets himself purr even though it sounds wrong to his ears. he lets himself feel safe and comfortable and vulnerable.

and then sqq gets home early, sees binghe acting like an omega, and is confused. because binghe is the alpha-est alpha to ever alpha. so he must be confused, if he’s behaving like this.

so he scolds his husband—not overly harsh, in his opinion, but with the clear intention to correct this. (maybe he’s a bit flustered because binghe looks so cute like this, and then he feels guilty for finding it cute. clearly something is wrong if his number-one-alpha husband is acting like this.)

‘binghe, what’s gotten into you, acting like this? are you a full-grown alpha or aren’t you? what kind of fearsome demon lord rolls around in a nest of another alpha’s clothes like some kind of omega? get up binghe, get—’

and binghe just. cries. not the dramatic waterworks that he uses to tease sqq and get his way—there’s no blubbering, no whining, no begging shizun to reconsider. binghe just sort of shuts down, murmurs a hollow, tight-throated ‘yes, shizun,’ and gets up. takes apart the nest as he’s told and cries quietly, because clearly there is something wrong with him. but if sqq doesn’t want him to be that way, he won’t be that way, no matter how it hurts to pack all his softness away.

and immediately sqq sees that he’s fucked up. he doesn’t really understand how, but he sees that he’s hurt binghe deeply, so he stills binghe’s slow, heavy movements as he takes apart his little nest, and he pulls binghe into a warm embrace.

‘binghe…’ he doesn’t know what else to say, so that’s all he says for a while. rubs binghe’s back, strokes his hair, holds him gently and waits for him to calm before he finally, finally asks. why the nests? why all the little things he’s been doing to make himself more like an omega? why play at being something he’s not?

and all binghe can say, voice tiny and vulnerable, is ‘but shizun, i think maybe i am.’

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svsss transfem binghe au bc i’m a bitch for those, featuring disciple shen yuan and sj redemption bc im a bitch for that too

luo binghe has never felt comfortable in his own skin. as a small child, it was a little bit easier to ignore the discomfort. his mother never placed too much importance on the man he would become, but she treasured the little child she had. he often dreamed that one day he would grow to be as kind as her, beautiful inside and out. he imagined surrounding her with beautiful things, and making himself beautiful enough to fit. sometimes he daydreamed of dressing his mother in bright, happy colors and painting her face with pretty makeup. sometimes, he imagined treating himself the same.

he envied the girls in the city. he never saw the wealthy boys being cruel to them. they got to wear happy colors and eat sweets, and the world was kind to them. would the world have been kind to him too, if he got to be a girl? perhaps not—the world was cruel to his mother, after all, and she was the most wonderful, beautiful, deserving woman alive. still, he couldn’t help imagining. maybe, at the very least, the older boys wouldn’t beat him so viciously. it was nice to imagine. if the world were kinder, perhaps he would have gotten to be a girl.

and then his mother died, and he was alone, and he remembered that the world wasn’t kind, and pretty things weren’t for him. being alone so small was hard, and he put away his dreams of happy-colored silks and pretty makeup. what use was it to imagine that sort of thing when there was no one to share those joyful dreams with?

when he joined cang qiong mountain sect, he was greeted by ming fan, the head disciple, who looked down his pointy nose at binghe as soon as they met. he seemed much like those older boys from before, the ones who beat him for the crime of being poor and hungry, and who despised his hardworking mother for being the same. but this was a new beginning, a new life, and cultivators were not like the cruel children in the city. they were better. they protected the weak, and they opposed evil at every turn. luo binghe reminded him of this fact as he followed his new shixiong to their shizun’s house.

twenty minutes later, luo binghe slunk to the baths to wash the tea from his skin.

there was only one other disciple there, a towel over his eyes as he soaked, and luo binghe did his best to be quiet and unobtrusive. he didn’t know the rules of the cultivation sects yet—clearly, he must have violated one to have offended his shizun so terribly. he resolved to be quiet and attentive, to listen and learn from his seniors, and to repent quickly should he cause further offense from his ignorance.

so, he did his best to bathe quietly and quickly, but he must have made too much noise splashing about in the water, because the soaking shixiong jolted and the towel dropped from his face into the bath. he jolted again upon seeing luo binghe’s face, and nearly dunked himself below the water’s surface as he recoiled in surprise.

‘this luo binghe greets shixiong,’ binghe said, his eyes averted and voice just loud enough to be heard. ‘i apologize for disturbing shixiong; i can leave first and return when shixiong is finished.’ he quickly moved to do just that, but after a moment that shixiong’s warm voice called for him to wait.

‘apologies to luo-shidi,’ he said, hunching in on himself. his profile was illuminated only by the fire burning toward the other end of the bath, but from what luo binghe could see, his features seemed sharp and elegant. ‘this shixiong is shen yuan. i must have dozed off; i didn’t realize there was anyone else here. you, ah—shidi was chosen today? have you met shizun already, and da-shixiong?’

luo binghe’s cheeks burned at the memory of tea splashing over his head, of his embarrassing display afterward. his eyes still felt puffy from his tears, and his throat was sore. childish. ‘yes. i wonder how—that is, this one wonders whether shixiong…how was it meeting shizun for the first time?’

at the question, shen yuan let out a decidedly graceless snort. ‘it’s complicated. i met shizun three years ago, in one of the villages at the base of the mountain. it was a difficult situation, and there was more to worry about than making good impressions at the time.’ he sniffed and brought a hand up to tuck a strand of hair behind his ear. ‘shizun is not very good at making positive impressions. was it that way with you?’

those words uncoiled something small and terrified in luo binghe’s chest, even as he felt a sense of heavy guilt at being relieved to hear his senior speaking about their shizun so disrespectfully. ‘shizun is a renowned cultivator,’ luo binghe said carefully, ‘and as the lord of qing jing peak, of course he is unmatched in elegance. i must have offended him somehow… he didn’t accept my tea, but he didn’t throw me out either, and for that i’m grateful. this disciple only wants to improve himself, and to be worthy of the kindness shizun has shown in allowing him to stay and learn’

shen yuan…scoffed. scoffed? had binghe said something wrong again? of course he had—this was a peak of elegant, wise scholars and artists and strategists, and luo binghe was a street rat. of course he’d offend everyone he met; he was—

‘shizun can be an asshole.’

…what?

unperturbed, as if he hadn’t just spoken with such incredibly crude disrespect, shen yuan continued. ‘he can be cruel and calculating and mean. i doubt luo-shidi did anything wrong. i will speak with him tomorrow on shidi’s behalf, and see whether we can come to a resolution before things become more complicated than they need to be.’

‘shixiong needn’t trouble himself!’ panic flooded luo binghe at the thought of causing such problems so quickly after being accepted here. surely, shizun would throw him out if he found out binghe were so arrogant as to complain to the first shixiong he saw. ‘shizun is the master of qing jing peak; how can his judgment be called into question? if he says this disciple was wrong, this disciple was wrong and will correct himself. please don’t trouble shizun over this disciple’s failure. i don’t wish to cause problems, only to learn and improve myself. please.’

a long, heavy silence stretched between them, and luo binghe became acutely aware that he was not dressed. how embarrassing, to be undressed and begging for mercy from a shixiong he had only just met. he pulled his knees to his chest on the bench, covering as much of himself as he could.

finally, shen yuan let out a heavy sigh. ‘alright,’ he said, his voice barely loud enough to be heard over the distance and the water. ‘this shixiong won’t make trouble for luo shidi. only, if shizun doesn’t accept anything luo shidi does, you must promise to tell me. the same with any other disciple; if anyone is cruel to luo shidi, you must let me know. this shixiong hates bullies, and i would hate for anyone to embarrass qing jing peak with childishness—shizun included.’

how terribly bold. the daring words of his shixiong unsettled something in binghe’s chest. clearly, he was a troublemaker binghe should be careful of, lest he be pulled into the boys schemes himself.

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I can't take the "Shen Yuan joins Bingge's harem for political reasons and Bingge has no interest in him" trope seriously because shen yuan WOULD be crazy excited about that like

Binghe on their wedding night: this is just to secure alliance with your clan, I have no interest in getting to know you and you can forget about us having a relationship

Shen Yuan: that works for me! I know I'm not one of your advisors or something but like you said, I'm here to help you secure alliance so I have a few ideas... I think you should negotiate with the village about...

Binghe watching his cute little husband passionately yap about ways he wants to help Binghe and make his life easier without wanting anything in return: I. I may have made a mistake by saying all that.