bats-and-others

[bats-and-others]

Damian becoming the Doctor of the family, treating the Bats when they're injured, and taking care of them... But doing so in the most evil unhinged ways possible.

Damian, injecting something into Bruce's arm: I'll give you an anesthetic but you are in no condition to fight, Father. You'll be on bed rest until I clear you.

Bruce, already standing up, no fucks given: Thanks, Damian. But I really need to catch these people, they are– They–

Bruce: *Begins to stumble in place* They– y-you–

Damian:

Bruce, falling to the ground: W-what did you–?

*Evil boss music starts playing in the background*

Damian, slowly approaching: Oh, sorry, did I said I would give you anesthetic? I meant to say a paralyzing agent.

Bruce:

Damian: Don't worry, Father, Black Bat will take care of the case...

Damian, carrying Bruce back to bed:And you, as I said, will be on bed rest until I clear you.

*Evil music intensifies*

*After training*

Damian: I made limonade.

Dick, reaching for a glass: Thanks, Dam—

Damian: Not that one. That one is Drake's.

Dick: Oh–

Damian, handing Dick a glass: This one is yours.

Dick: Oh.

Damian:

Dick:

Dick: Did you- Did you put something in Tim's?

Damian:

Dick:... Did you put something in mine?

Damian:

Dick:What did you p–

Damian: Drink it, Grayson. It's good for you.

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Happy pride! Graysons an ally and supports brucebat..

Based off the Lego Batman where Graysons happy because he thinks he has two dad's

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In the night garden, Mary Mattingly

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There’s actually something so sickening about Clark crashing out when Dick takes over as Batman and wears the suit. Dude flipped out and lost it on his favorite Robin, the kid he and Bruce helped raise together. He screams in his face and fucking crashes out because he’s grieving Bruce and here is Batman standing right in front of him but it’s not him. And it should be easier to bear that transition because it’s Dick, but it isn’t.

also this reddit comment I found when looking for additional panels took me out at the knees:

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poor things, well we should definitely make this easier on them by never repeatedly mentioning their name and deeds on the "reblog things forever" website

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They’re not allowed to get interviewed anymore

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worrying is like worshipping the problem

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On a Justice League mission

Wonder Woman: Where’s Barry? I had assumed he would be here before us

*Flash runs in, holding Bruce in a Princess carry*

Flash: Incoming! *sets Batman down* Whew! Damn Bats, you gain some weight?

Batman: *glares* …

Flash: Sorry… that was mean

Batman: Hrn *pats Barry on the head once*

Superman: *clears throat and floats in between them* Ehem… anyways… how are we supposed to-

Batman: *cuts Clark off by shaking his cape. This causes Spoiler and Black Bat to fall out* Got it covered

Spoiler: Damn it B! I was taking a nap! You could’ve at least given us a warning

Black Bat: *finishes that macaroons she was eating* Lets get to work

Batman: *nods at them as they walk off chattering*

Justice League: …?

Green Lantern: How… how do you keep doing that?

Green Arrow: *muttering to himself* It’s not possible… it’s not possible…

Superman: I… are there more in there?

Wonder Woman: Batman, is the small fierce and stabby warrior with you? I would enjoy teaching him more techniques!

Batman: *ignores them*

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Bruce high on pain meds lying on the couch

Jason: I’m gonna a straight answer here B-man. Who’s your favorite?

Bruce: Stephanie

Jason: What The Fuck?!?!

Dick: Jay he’s high as a fucking kite. Nothing he’s gonna say is gonna make sense.

Jason: Fuck that! I need answers

Jason: Bruce, why is Steph your favorite?

Bruce: Because she didn’t annoy me this week.

Tim: I want to say I’m surprised that he ranks us on who annoys him the least but at this point we all do it

Bruce: Your on the money number 5

Jason: Wait, B when was the last time I was your favorite?

Bruce: Three weeks ago when you didn’t kill anyone for 2 weeks. I was really proud.

Damian: Father who is usually the favorite?

Bruce: Cassandra is usually at the top and then Duke and Barbara are below her.

Jason: Who’s the least likely to be at the top?

Bruce: Tim.

Tim: What?!? Why?!??

Bruce: If you would stop with the constant conspiracy theories and caffeine addiction I wouldn’t have to be worried and less annoyed.

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Red Hood continuing to be a crime lord and borderline villain even after making up with the bats specifically to keep his ties with the Gotham rogues so that he can freeze out Tim from joining the criminal underworld every time he crashes out and decides to cause shit.

Tim, storming into Two-Face’s secret base after not sleeping for three days and being pissed off by Bruce one too many times: look alive Dent, i need to punish people and i’ve decided we should work together-

Harvey: no can do, Red. sorry.

Tim:

Tim: excuse me?

Harvey, shrugging: i’m an ally of the Red Hood. one of his rules is specifically ‘don’t give Red Robin the time of day’

Tim:

Tim: are you fucking serious right now?

Harvey, returning to his newspaper: dunno what to tell you kiddo, we’ve all been warned under penalty of beheading not to work with you.

Tim:

*across Gotham*

Jason, supervising a weapon shipment: and put those crates in that truck over there, yeah-

Tim, breaking in through the ceiling: HOOD. STOP TELLING VILLAINS NOT TO FUCKING WORK WITH ME, I’LL KILL YOU-

Jason, not looking away from his spreadsheet: and those ones in that locker, thanks- Red shut the fuck up im working here- that truck leaves in like ten minutes so we gotta be quick,

Tim: I HAVE A CROWBAR HOOD-

Jason, waving off his goons concern: it’s fine he just needs some valium-

Jason, reaching an arm out to catch the crowbar being swung at his head: -can you fucking chill? this is why i had to blacklist you from the criminal peanut gallery.

Tim: *incomprehensible screeches of rage*

Jason, pulling the crowbar out of his hands and tugging him against his chest: shhhh, shh baby bird, we’ll get you in a rage room for an hour or two and you’ll be back to normal by the morning- oh and those guns are to be sent off tomorrow not next week, we got moved up-

Goon: …are we supposed to ignore him?

Jason: yes.

Tim, limp in Jason’s arms: *muffled by his chest* B ate the fucking cinnamon roll i was saving.

Jason, humming: i know kiddo, i know.

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Stephanie dying her hair black for an undercover OP

Stephanie: So what you guys think

Dick:

Tim: That is so freaky

Jason: You… you look like Bruce’s mom!

Stephanie: WHAT? No I don’t!

Dick: You do! And it’s so fucking freaky!

Tim: It’s a really fucking eerie resemblance. Are you sure you’re not related to him? Like a distant cousin or something?

Stephanie: Your all fucking insane. I don’t look like her!

Jason: Hold on. Alfred! Can you come here!

Alfred: There is no need to shout Master Jason. Now what is all the commotion?

Jason: We just need to know, does Steph look like Bruce’s mom?

Alfred: Bloody Hell. You do bear a very striking resemblance to the late Martha Wayne, Ms Brown.

Tim: Told you.

Dick: Come on let’s dye it brown before Bruce sees and has a fucking panic attack.

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You know when someone goes "Oh, you're autistic? You should meet my buddy Ronathon he's autistic you'll love him he's great" and you meet him and he's the fucking worst

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that thing where it's like parents.... at some point you put your child down and don't pick them back up again. except for bruce wayne, who pumps iron so he can launch his 29 year old at themed villains

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Bruce, introducing his kids at a family Interview: This is my eldest Dick, my second eldest Cassandra, then my son Jason, my second youngest Tim, and my youngest Damian

Bruce: That's my daughter-in-law Barbara, and my other daughter-in-law, Stephanie

Tim: ??? Steph and I broke up forever ago?? How is she your daughter-in-Law?

Stephanie: I may not be dating any of you anymore but I'm the State of daughter-in-law. Daughter-in-law is not a family title, it's the friends you make along the way

Jason: I'm not high enough for this shit

Golden boy Dick Grayson: Me fucking neither

Jason: what

Dick: what

Bruce: ??? What do you mean she's not my daughter-in-law anymore?? I was counting on her marrying into the family :C

Steph: Sorry B, unfortunately your son would rather kiss superbitch than me

Dick: TIM IS KISSING WHO NOW

Bruce: >:( We'll talk about that later, right now-

Tim: I don't think that's necess-

Bruce: We'll talk about that later. Right now can't any of you date her?? Jaylad, you're sin-

Steph: HELL NO

Jason, already on his second blunt: You're so funny, old man. I'm literally co parenting my best friends kid. I'm literallyyyy be gay do crime. Haha.

Dick: YOURE WHAT WITH WHO NOW

Bruce: CAN ANY OF YOU JUST DATE HER

Cass, slowly raising her hand like in Hunger Games: I volunteer

Bruce: ...

Tim: ...

Dick: ...

Bruce: This is why you're my favorite daughter 🥹

Cass: Father, I'm your only daughter

Tim: Untrue. I did drag one time, that has to count

Steph: Does this mean I have a girlfriend

Damian: This family is a disgrace

Interviewer: ...

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I hc Dick will be non-verbal for a bit when Bruce first adopts him

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I don’t take hints. Throw a rock at me

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*Dick crashes out while on patrol and beats someone within an inch of their life*

Bruce: Dick might be a little bit fragile after last night, so let’s try to be sensitive.

Jason: Oh, believe me- I am going to be nothing but nice to Dick from now on. If he snaps and goes on a rampage, who do you think he’s coming for first?

Bruce: He’s not going on a rampage.

Tim: I bet he’d let me live. He likes me.

Damian: I’m just gonna say it. I never trusted him.