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Homemade Peanut Butter Ice Cream

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11/2 Today Goofus the Peacock killed a mouse and instead of eating it right away, decided to wander around the pasture carrying it in his beak. The feral cats always appreciate dead-rodent-based performance art, so they followed behind Goofus single file to make a Very Exciting Dead Rodent Parade.

At one point Goofus stopped and put down his rodent and one of the feral cats dared to sniff at it, and Goofus unleashed The Most Terrifying Honk, something along the lines of I WILL END YOU AND EVERYONE YOU LOVE AND YOUR BONES WILL BE FORGOTTEN ON THE FROZEN EARTH WHEN I SNUFF OUT THE SUN AND SING THE STARS TO DARKNESS I AM THE DEVOURER AND DESTROYER OF ALL THINGS

The feral cats, previously unaware that the Death Of The Universe And End Of All Things is currently living as a peacock, ran off at about fifty miles an hour and hid under the barn for the rest of the day. They didn’t even come out at milking time to beg for goat milk, which is a first.

We probably should not have named the Death Of The Universe And The End Of All Things “Goofus,” actually.

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🎼Feeling the music🎶 on We Heart It.

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Here’s the thing: I’m an asshole. Even if I’m nicer to you than anyone ever has been. Even if I fucking love the shit out of you. Even if you’re my favorite person ever. I am still an asshole. Forever and always

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Fan Art | Scout, because Scout.

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Zodiac Leo Facts. For more information on the zodiac signs, click here. 

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I hurt people©Scout

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The view from a Broadway stage.

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What doesn’t kill me should run, because now I’m fucking pissed.

(via meaty-bicycle)

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Reeses Peanut Butter Cake

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OH MY GOD

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*does laundry but like in a punk way*

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Zodiac Leo Facts. For more information on the zodiac signs, click here.

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“While the world fawns over his tail, the peacock looks down & laments at the sight of his ugly feet” #QuinnsQuips

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From the series “Strip Clubs”.