bea-aeb

[bea-aeb]

Hey Virginia,

I've always wanted to know what was said during the Loustat reunion & I think we may have an answer. My friend's cousin is deaf & my friend says her cousin is certain Louis says this to Lestat: "We're in this together. It's you and me. You and me always. You hear me?"

I've watched the scene so many times & I think her cousin may be on to something? Thoughts? 😭

Wow.....I just.....I had to let this one marinate for a minute.

Because if you look at Louis' lips, it does seem to fit?!

And it would fit for Jam too. Honestly.

I mean.....if this is what Louis really said to him? It's no wonder Lestat doesn't actually respond anything and just collapses into sobs! That sentiment would be something Lestat had always needed to hear and coming from Louis?! It would fit with Sam saying it is now canon to Lestat and Lestat will always carry it with him, and it would be a callback to 2x01 when Louis is giving the impassioned "you and me" speech while his eyes drift over to DreamStat. The meaning within all that! OMG! 😭😭😭

[bea-aeb]

one of the saddest things is when someone in your family tells you you would've loved someone who died before you were born. like my mother has told me & my best friend that we would have loved talking to her father. that me & my brothers have the same humor as our late uncle & even look like him. everyone is everywhere & nowhere & here & gone & dying & coming back. it's as though you know them through their shadow or their ghost or your own actions, but you won't ever really know. haunts me, i guess

[bea-aeb]

fucking whatever man

[bea-aeb]

Hello linguists! I have a conundrum. I am a native English speaker and have studied French at Alevel (the only other language I can claim to somewhat understand, and even then I am definitely not fluent). I am now on summer break and want to learn Italian, yet I have never taught myself a new language from scratch, and so I was hoping that some of you would have some tips for learning your first language from a completely beginner level! I have started by trying to teach myself the grammar rules but I’m unsure that I am even achieving this much.

Please help! I admire you lot for being able to learn multiple languages and I aspire to do the same, but I am very stuck currently!!!

[bea-aeb]

Today’s Daily Purr from my Purrtreon. I post one every weekday over there, so if you'd like to receive more of these — and support my work while you're at it — you’re very welcome to join. 🐾🤍

[bea-aeb]

A brief moment of rationality from the bird place.

[bea-aeb]

my unpopular merlin opinion is that merlin telling morgana he had magic wouldn't have changed anything but this scene did

I'm not saying because arthur would have killed uthere blah blah blah. uther could have as well lived, but if merlin left the seed of doubt in arthur's mind everything would have been entirely different. and that's the obvious part.

but I had also seen a genius tumblr post (if I can find it, I'll link it and tag the author) in which op was talking about how putting morgana on the throne was only morgause's backup plan. which makes perfect sense. on the one hand, morgana's quest for power is her demise: she gives up everything good in her life in favour of her greed and desire for the throne. something that she did not have before morgause set her mind on this plan. I am positive she would have much rather kept her safe and happy in a land where she can finally explore her potential without any violent coup than give away her life to never reach what she wanted.

on the other hand, arthur is the heir. no coup would have been needed and if he started thinking about magic in a positive light, he could have brought about the change morgana and morgause wanted without any desire for revenge (therefore, no violence or losses on either party). it would have been the perfect plan and morgause was clearly trying to achieve it in the sins of the father. it is no coincidence that we can see her reaction to arthur and uther's reconciliation.

I believe this episode is the real "beginning of the end" and merlin's biggest misstep, because every other that followed was a direct consequence of this moment, e.g. morgana being thrust into the role of magic bringer and going insane, the disir's judgement, kara's death, mordred's betrayal, etc. everything could have been avoided if in this moment merlin had just convinced him to put the sword down without taking away from arthur's talk with ygraine.

[bea-aeb]

D E V O T I O N

[bea-aeb]

jude recognized the taste of poison on cardan's lips in twk because she had been poisoning herself for months, but do you think cardan drank the poison and thought, oddly, of how jude had tasted when he kissed her in that room behind the throne? do you think it made him drink deeper?

[bea-aeb]

Jude and Cardan 🥀

[bea-aeb]

for the life of me i cannot believe that merlin would spend over a thousand years as a miserable depressed wreck of a person. like that's so antithetical to his entire character that it's absurd. do i think he has bad days where he misses everyone he's ever lost? SURE! absolutely! do i think he's so lost in apathy and agony and utter sadness that he views life as nothing but a hopeless death march without the death? hell no!!!!

[bea-aeb]

endless life on farm with merlin

_only_ for the field work no homo

[bea-aeb]

I want my Merlin back.

[bea-aeb]

Every time Merlin invented a fake identity, it was to save Gwen.

[bea-aeb]

Do you ever wonder how many times we've saved Arthur Pendragon, only because the original Arthur dies?

Do you ever think that: huh, he lives so often because of us. Is happy so often, just because he suffered once.

Perhaps that's why he had to suffer in the first place? Do you think he died, just so he could be saved?

[bea-aeb]

I’m sure this has already been discussed but it has only just occurred to me - what if The Eye of The Phoenix is just a whole episode foreshadowing Arthur’s reign?

Morgana spends the episode trying to weaken and kill him. Standard.

Uther insists that Arthur completes his quest alone because he believes a King must rule alone. But Arthur believes Camelot is stronger and that he is a better King for consulting his knights, even the common-born ones. Enter Gwaine, who in this episode represents all the knights - they are Arthur’s strength. Arthur himself is courage, which is what he needs in order to rule as he sees fit, not as Uther or Agravaine would have him rule. And then there’s Merlin - magic. Whether or not Arthur knows it, he needs magic at his side.

But here’s the other thing: The Fisher King tells Merlin this was really his quest, not Arthur’s. Merlin’s quest, his destiny, has always been to unite the land and bring about the golden age of Albion. In the grail legends, achieving the grail and healing The Fisher King also means healing the wasteland - but in this retelling the wasteland is never healed. So if this is a foreshadowing episode then we already know that Merlin will never see his golden age. To top it off, the king gives Merlin a vial of water from the Lake of Avalon for the dark times ahead, telling us where the story will end when everything is lost.

[bea-aeb]

The way this entire thing just described Merthur except possibly the last one because Arthur died before they could get to that point

Writing characters who don’t know they’re in love

(PS: but literally everyone else does and is so tired)

These characters aren’t clueless, no, they’re not walking around like, “love? never heard of her.” They know something’s going on, they just won’t admit it (not to themselves, not to anyone.) Maybe they’re scared of messing it up, or maybe they think the other person doesn’t feel the same. Maybe they’ve stuffed the feeling so deep even a NASA rover couldn’t dig it out.

Whatever the reason, they’re not avoiding the truth as much as they’re…rebranding it. Calling it “friendship” while giving each other their only jacket and dreaming about each other’s voices like it’s totally normal behavior.

ꕤ They don’t realize it’s love, but they notice everything else. They clock every mood shift, every absence, every little thing. They definitely  know when something’s off.

⇢ “You changed your hair.” ⇢ “You looked upset earlier.” ⇢ “You didn’t text me back and I panicked.” ⇢ “You weren’t at lunch and it felt weird.” ⇢ “Are you cold?” hands over jacket without a second thought

They don’t say “I love you,” but their actions scream it constantly.

ꕤ they get weird when someone else gets close They’re not jealous. No, how dare you think something like that… they’re just keeping an eye out. For safety... Or whatever."

⇢ “Who was that?” ⇢ “Oh, you’re hanging out with them again?” ⇢ “I just think it’s interesting how you never cancel on them.”

They don’t say it, but they hate the idea of being replaced. It stings more than they’re ready to admit.

ꕤ they make excuses to be around each other.

Literally inventing reasons to be in the same space.

⇢ “Wanna study together? I’m struggling with this topic.” (They’re not.) ⇢ “Oh, I was just in the area.” (They weren’t.) ⇢ “You forgot this.” (It’s a single pen.)

They’d rather lie badly than admit, “I just wanted to see you.”

ꕤ  Their friends are so over it Everyone around them is either rooting for them or trying not to scream.

⇢ “You’re in love with them.” ⇢ “That’s not friendship, and you know it.” ⇢ “You made them soup. FUCKING SOUP. Just say you’re married already.” ⇢ “If I have to hear you talk about them one more time, I’m charging rent.”

Friends are the Greek chorus of this situation, like, brutally honest and endlessly tired.

ꕤ  There’s always a moment they almost figure it out That one soft, unspoken beat where the truth almost breaks through.

⇢ Watching them laugh like it’s the first time. ⇢ Seeing them cry and wanting to fix it more than anything. ⇢ Realizing no one else makes them feel like this. ⇢ Thinking, God, they’re beautiful.

Then they blink, panic a little, and go, “Huh. Weird.” And move on. Like absolute fools.

ꕤ  When it finally hits, it’s not cute, it’s catastrophic. Suddenly everything makes sense and feels like too much.

⇢ Flashbacks. ⇢ Internal screaming. ⇢ “Oh no.” ⇢ “OH MY GOD.” ⇢ “Has it always been this obvious??” ⇢ “Wait. Everyone knew?!”

Yes. Everyone. The friends, the neighbor’s cat. You were the only two who didn’t get the memo...