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Every Relationship Matters

Relationships are powerful. Life Changing type of powerful. I’m not talking about romantic relationships but all relationships. Any consistent connection you have with someone or something (including yourself) is considered a relationship. We have relationships with just about everyone/thing we come in contact with consistently. How you carry yourself in these relationships is telling of the type of person you are and what you value.

Every relationship you have creates infinite amounts of possibilities that will impact the outcome of your life. The way you interact within these relationships creates opportunities to display characteristics of who you are for others (and yourself) to observe. This blog is about some key principles every relationship has and why every relationship matters.

Responsibility

Every relationship you’re in requires a degree of responsibility from you. Responsibility is the ability to respond, therefore to maintain a relationship requires you being able to respond to various stimuli consistently. The simplest relationships have the least amount of responsibility. The more complex relationships require more responsibility to maintain & grow. Your relationship with the cashier at Walmart is quite simple. You pay & they scan & bag, maybe small talk but nothing too serious. The responsibilities of both parties are simple.

What you’re responsible for providing determines what that relationship entails. Your relationship with your boss isn’t simple, especially if you’re trying to move up within the company. That relationship requires more consistent interactions as well as accountability from both parties to follow through with their actions. How you interact with your boss determines how much & what you’re responsible for, and this can build or break the relationship if you’re not responding properly.

Responsibility can be a good thing if you want to see the relationship you’re in grow, or not so good if you don’t want the relationship to grow. If the cashier at Walmart starts asking you for financial advice, the relationship will grow significantly seeing that you’re now responsible for sharing financial insights.This is something to be conscious of depending on if you want to grow a relationship, end it, or keep it where it is. I look at responsibility in relationships as a key indicator for the type of relationship you’ll have as well as what’s expected from you in any given relationship.

Influence

Since any relationship you foster requires a consistent connection, you’re allowing it to influence your life and vice versa. The more you’re interacting with someone/something and building your relationship, the more you both are influencing each other even if you’re not aware. Choosing who you associate with is important, even if you don’t think the interactions are significant, they add up. Mindset & character is everything, and if a person/ thing doesn’t match your mindset & character, you’re better off without it.

Since preschool we’ve been making friends and developing relationships and I’m sure you’ve come across great people that just weren’t good for you. Personally, I found myself hanging out with good people but I’d always get in trouble hanging out with them while they were exempt. After plenty of whoopings and punishments I learned I was just better off not associating with them because the bad outweighed the good. A lot of people think they can keep relationships with people that don’t have the same values as them, but they’re not aware of the influence people/things you consistently interact with have over you. This can be positive or negative depending on who you are involved with so be wary of someone's mindset & character for this will determine what type of person they are.

Relationships with positive influences are great because it forces you to grow as a person. Often influential relationships have like minded people/things that share similar values and can maintain responsibility needed to grow. Personally, I like to associate with people that I consistently learn from & that challenge me to be better. These relationships make for great character development and you never know what you might learn that will help you down the road.

Reflection of Character.

If you haven’t noticed, we’re all just characters in this game called life. Great part about it is that you get to develop your character into whatever you want it to be! Your character reveals itself when you think nobody is watching. So when you're out running errands by yourself and see someone litter when there is a wastecan nearby. Do you ignore it? Or do you pick it up and dispose of it yourself? Or maybe you find $200 in the fitting room of your favorite store. Do you keep it and claim it as a blessing? Or do you go turn it in, in hopes the money finds its owner? You also see your character in action within any relationship you’re involved in. However you treat that person, place or thing will directly show the type of character you have. This makes every interaction important because they’re all direct reflections of the type of person you are or becoming.

Looking back on your actions in any given relationship gives you a good compass of what you truly cared about at that time. Being conscious of how someone/something is making you feel and how your actions are affecting them is vital for sustaining any relationship.

In some relationships people act “out of character” and lose a sense of who they are. If a person/ thing is making you react this way consistently, you’re better off without it. Ideally, you only want to develop relationships with people that have a strong character & only put you in uncomfortable situations that will make you grow. When you start developing relationships with high character people, they put you in challenging situations that ultimately make you better. Also being around these types of people will make your name more credible since you’re consistently displaying high character characteristics.

Reputation

Think about how many people you know. Now think about how many people one of your friends know. Your friend probably knows plenty of people you don’t, and those people know plenty of people they don’t and so on so forth. When you know one person, you basically know everyone, therefore it’s wise to always put your best foot forward in every relationship you’re in.Your reputation meets people before you actually do, so It’s smart to be mindful of how your actions affect the truthful things people can say about you. The more honest acts of character you display, the more people can speak to it and your reputation will grow.

Being reputable is important because it’ll get you in rooms you couldn’t get into yourself. This is why you should care about your reputation because it can travel much further than you think and it will either help or hurt you given your actions in one relationship. You shouldn’t want to treat people right because they might help you one day but it should naturally be a part of your character. Once it’s a part of your character your reputation will precede itself. People will speak highly of the type of person you are and this could lead to infinite possibilities & connections.

Conclusion

Now do you see why every relationship matters? They have the power to change your life, for better or worse. Relationships give you a taste of responsibility and allow you to influence others and even work on your character.

Personally I’ve been more conscious of the relationships I develop, who I’m developing them with and how I act when involved. Being able to see people for who they truly are and watching people's character in action allows me to take advantage of opportunities that could lead to growth. Also being more conscious of who I’m getting involved with allows me to protect my reputation and better navigate the relationship to maintain a certain understanding. I hope this blog gave you a new perspective on relationships that will allow you to maximize any that you’re in!

[beastybarron]

Identity Crisis

Am I the only one that feels like we’re going through an identity crisis? Seems like few are content with living as their most authentic self, which is stripping the world of great gifts. Plenty of people are falling victim to groupthink, heightened by social media acceptance, withholding them from thinking independently and abundantly.  I want to shed light on this “crisis” and propose ideas for escaping it and enabling others to do the same.

Everyone is born with a distinguished personality. First step of getting comfortable with yourself is understanding who you are, where you come from, what you value and why. This includes unique features, traits and family practices that influence the way you perceive yourself. Learning about your family and their history looks different for everyone. If possible do some research, connect with relatives and reflect on your family and how you came about. Connecting with relatives you don’t speak with often can help you recall traits/interests you forgot or spark new ideas for who you see yourself as. Often elements of who we are can be rooted in our family history or dynamic. For me, I learned that an addictive personality trait is commonly found in men in my family. Knowing that, I exercise discipline in whatever I find pleasurable, knowing I’ll have a hard time letting it go. Knowing this, I use it to my advantage by getting addicted to positive things like working out, drinking water and developing healthy habits. Having the knowledge of this trait allows me to use it how I please and you can do the same. No family is perfect so you might realize a lot of patterns or issues that might be destructive, but once you are aware, you can make it work for you with the right mindset. 

People can only give their gifts to the world when they are comfortable living in their truth. Not knowing who you are allows others to make you into what they want you to be. Not a position anyone wants to be in, but happens too often because we give others more respect & love than ourselves. Lack of identity will make you feel like you don’t deserve the love & respect you give others because you don’t see the greatness within.You have a place in this world made specifically For You. However, you’ll only find that place once you give yourself the love and respect you deserve.Having a strong sense of self needs to be emphasized to people at a young age so we realize who we are will always be enough. 

Being comfortable with your identity comes with operating outside of the group. The ability to live in your truth takes courage & bravery that is rewarded with peace of mind. Once finding an understanding of yourself and your values nothing will be able to disturb that peace. Not even influential people disagreeing with your viewpoints and philosophies. It may be difficult to speak / act against the group but it only needs to make sense to you. Being able to speak freely and honestly is critical when you’re discussing important topics. You now have the opportunity to share a different perspective that can lead to new insight & ideas. This is powerful because it gives you the opportunity to inspire and create within others. You can open doors that were shut and shine light to dark areas of one's life. Not knowing who you can do this for makes it imperative you live as your true self in everyday life. It will become effortless to give your gifts to the world because you’ll naturally serve others living as your best self.

Social media and cultural norms contribute greatly to this identity crisis and if not addressed will lead to a regressive society. Social media is a puissant tool because of its communication capabilities.  However it is far too easy to get caught up in the illusion that it creates. The community aspect of social media is great, now everyone has an opportunity to find a group that fits them. Yet, people are withholding their true thoughts and succumbing to groupthink. Groupthink is exactly what it sounds like,it occurs when a group of people conform to the consensus ideas/practices rather than thinking independently, in hopes of remaining in the group. Basically people being too lazy to think for themselves or too scared to speak against the group in fear of exilement. This has many of us in a chokehold because we value our perceptions online more than our thoughts in real life. 

Groupthink within the black community is very common. We’ve all watched countless viral videos of pure ignorance getting praise and acknowledgement within the black community on social media. Most people get a good laugh in and keep scrolling, not realizing that we’re normalizing destructive behavior that the youth thinks is appropriate. Since these videos get plenty of views, people  interpret that as a reward for the behavior, and doing more things like it for attention. I have to mention the body dysmorphia caused by looking at all of these “perfect” faces and bodies getting glorified on social media. We’re seeing beautiful black Queens becoming insecure of their color, size, shape and image because of what’s being praised / criticized online. It’s bewildering because we obsess over keeping up with these models, celebrities and influencers not realizing we are the blueprint !  The constant comparison is stopping us from cherishing our uniqueness because we’re blinded by what we “lack”. 

A solution would be normalizing higher quality role models or influencers on social media, especially black and minority ones. Having socially prominent figures promote positive, valuable information will start a change in the way people think and what they value. If Drake started talking about how important it is for him to drink water and eat fruits I guarantee you’ll see people (that like Drake) value the same things.Same with Cardi B or Kevin Durant. I have no issues with rappers, athletes or entertainers. I just think they shouldn’t set the standard of what’s acceptable for their communities. We must be more critical of who we are letting influence us. Social media isn’t going anywhere, so shifting from entertainers and athletes to true thought leaders and positive influencers will show the next generation they can be themselves and still be “cool”. 

You can only be comfortable with your identity after you figure out who you are. The concept is simple, but it really makes you think; Who are you? If you’re American, odds are you respond with your name and occupation. Which is a mere fraction of who you really are. For many, our occupation is far from who we are but we become absorbed in it, neglecting our true passion chasing security. Living in America, money is very important and you realize this early. Once you get it, it just gives you the freedom to become who you’ve always been. So if you never figured out who you are, money will do nothing but make that more prevalent by what you chose to do with it. Money finds anyone that is adding value to the world. When you understand yourself and get an idea of your gifts, you can start to cultivate them and money will naturally find its way to you. Plus you’ll have meaningful relationships to enjoy the freedom that comes with having money. This way you’ll be able to help others and find out the best way to help them cultivate their gifts and increase to add value to the world.

You have to start taking into account what you truly value in this life and that will determine what you gravitate towards as well as who you are. The beauty of being comfortable with your identity allows you to operate in your own world while coexisting with others in theirs. It  requires a deep understanding of yourself and who you want to be then nothing should stop you from becoming that. It’s not easy but if you’re humble enough to look in the mirror and accept all your “flaws” then you’ll be able to build upon who you are. 

The world will be a better place when everyone is striving to be the best version of themselves. The only way we can be our best self is to understand who we are and what being our best looks like, then executing. When you’re being authentically you, it is impossible to fail because your intentions will always be pure. This requires trusting yourself and seeing how everything happening around you is happening for you. When you’re clear on your values and who you are or want to become, life will become more enjoyable and you’ll inspire many people to live out their truths. Never be afraid to speak your mind even if the people you identify with disagree because you could be the one that sparks something great within that community. Above all just be you, nobody else gets to experience life from your perspective so embrace everything that comes with it and make it more enjoyable for the next person.

[beastybarron]

Welcome! However you managed to get here, I’m glad you did. This blog was created with the intent to spark a conversation within communities around the world. An ongoing dialogue regarding society’s standards and why we feel obligated to conform.

Today, it is far too easy to get caught up in the illusions that plague modern society. The illusion where we think we have it figured out, but in reality we’re barely getting by. Or what about the illusion that we should be making six figures before the age of 30 yet only to fail, once again. We all know that social media depicts these false positives of how perfect life is, because everyone's flawless right? Ya know what I’m talking about. Fallacies such as that are key contributors to the modern day identity crisis that’s leading to the separation of people from their individuality.

Society's expectations for people are too outdated. Correct me if I’m wrong but doesn’t EVERYBODY grow up dreaming of wanting to attend a four- year College/University, earn a degree, struggle afterwards to get that “dream” job [which if you’re lucky will be in your field of study] , payoff school debt, strategize how you’re going to save/invest for retirement, all while trying to enjoy life? Let’s also not forget the social pressure of finding a romantic partner, starting a family and the “mumbo-jumbo” that’s associated with the word love. If that’s the lifestyle you dreamed of as a child; then I’m sorry, BUT you are in the right place because I’d like to shed some light on those unrealistic expectations.

Society subliminally trains us to believe we’re put here just to experience life rather than live it how we want. The education system is a great example of this by how it teaches kids what to think rather than how to think. This process is a way of taming children's personality / creativity which is what allows you to imagine the kind of life you want to live, and execute it. Without constant creation and imagination kids will grow up and accept all the pre-set rules for life established by the adults around them.

I dare you to ask a group of 1st graders what they want to be when they're grown, you’ll hear all kinds of brilliant responses. It’s in that moment they realize anything they want is within reach because they are the creators of their reality. Fast forward 10 years and those answers will become more vanilla because they’ve been exposed to society's pressures. It’s not your fault that society trains people to blend into the crowd but it is your responsibility to keep your individualism. If you’re thinking there’s nothing special about you then you’ve let society’s standards get to you. The standards that we already established as total BS. I’m willing to guarantee the majority of people aren’t enjoying their day to day lifestyle which is a problem because life is meant to be enjoyed.

YOU ARE THE CREATOR OF YOUR REALITY. Any and everything that is happening to you is happening for you and that’s up to you to see. We will never be able to control what happens to us but we always have a choice in how we respond. This is where our true power resides. We need to realize we have a response-ability (the ability to respond) to any and everything that happens to us. If you choose to respond poorly to an unfortunate series of events, expect that to be your normal routine. However, if you choose to respond positively, you begin to transform your mind into seeing tragedy as opportunity.This process is much easier said than done but if you become more conscious of what you can control versus what you can’t, you’ll be able to alter your responses to make any situation beneficial for yourself.

Personally, I’m tired of living life and seeing people succumbing to all of these illusions because they don’t truly know who they are and what they actually want. We’re born knowing who we are and what we like but over time society starts to mold us into someone that “fits” into the crowd. Most people would rather postpone their joy for Friday/Saturday night when they feel they can truly be themselves and forget about all their problems that plague them during the week. By no means am I condemning people for going out every weekend. Fun is great, but I do pose the question: What are you celebrating? Is it truly a celebration of the hard work put in during the week or just a coping mechanism for the stress you’re enduring on a day to day basis?

The conversations need to be shifted from what everybody else is doing to what are you doing and why? At the end of the day you're the person that has to look in the mirror and accept what's looking back... The great thing about being a human (besides the thumbs) is the fact we can change the trajectory of our lives at any given moment whilst other animals cannot. You can come from nothing and die with everything and vice versa. With this power there must come a time of self reflection and humility that will allow new curiosities to be pursued and new habits to be developed so you can live a more fulfilling life.

I’m creating this blog in hopes of inspiring someone somewhere to take a stand against society and truly embody who they are. If every person is focused on being the best version of themselves however that looks, the world can and will be a better place. This life stuff is a lot simpler than we make it out to be, we just get caught up in what everyone else is doing in comparison to what we “should '' be doing.

Life isn’t meant to be as stressful and complicated as we make it. Life should be effortless as long as you’re in tune with yourself. It’s taking time to find out who you are and staying true to that throughout the ups and downs in life. It will keep you leveled and eliminate a lot, if not all stress you’re dealing with. Once again easier said than done or else we all would be “enlightened” and floating through life with ease. As long as you’re surrounding your subconscious with information related to making you better (such as this) then you’ll be alright. That’s really where everything lies that determines who you are- the subconscious mind.

I hope this post was informative in some way and that you can use the information provided to start to break away from modern society and live as your authentic self. We are all the creators of our realities and I encourage you to create a reality that aligns with who you are and what you stand for. This is just the beginning of “Some Shit to Think About” and I hope to see you again soon.

[beastybarron]

Welcome! However you managed to get here, I’m glad you did. This blog was created with the intent to spark a conversation within communities around the world. An ongoing dialogue regarding society’s standards and why we feel obligated to conform.

Today, it is far too easy to get caught up in the illusions that plague modern society. The illusion where we think we have it figured out, but in reality we’re barely getting by. Or what about the illusion that we should be making six figures before the age of 30 yet only to fail, once again. We all know that social media depicts these false positives of how perfect life is, because everyone's flawless right? Ya know what I’m talking about. Fallacies such as that are key contributors to the modern day identity crisis that’s leading to the separation of people from their individuality.

Society's expectations for people are too outdated. Correct me if I’m wrong but doesn’t EVERYBODY grow up dreaming of wanting to attend a four- year College/University, earn a degree, struggle afterwards to get that “dream” job [which if you’re lucky will be in your field of study] , payoff school debt, strategize how you’re going to save/invest for retirement, all while trying to enjoy life? Let’s also not forget the social pressure of finding a romantic partner, starting a family and the “mumbo-jumbo” that’s associated with the word love. If that’s the lifestyle you dreamed of as a child; then I’m sorry, BUT you are in the right place because I’d like to shed some light on those unrealistic expectations.

Society subliminally trains us to believe we’re put here just to experience life rather than live it how we want. The education system is a great example of this by how it teaches kids what to think rather than how to think. This process is a way of taming children's personality / creativity which is what allows you to imagine the kind of life you want to live, and execute it. Without constant creation and imagination kids will grow up and accept all the pre-set rules for life established by the adults around them.

I dare you to ask a group of 1st graders what they want to be when they're grown, you’ll hear all kinds of brilliant responses. It’s in that moment they realize anything they want is within reach because they are the creators of their reality. Fast forward 10 years and those answers will become more vanilla because they’ve been exposed to society's pressures. It’s not your fault that society trains people to blend into the crowd but it is your responsibility to keep your individualism. If you’re thinking there’s nothing special about you then you’ve let society’s standards get to you. The standards that we already established as total BS. I’m willing to guarantee the majority of people aren’t enjoying their day to day lifestyle which is a problem because life is meant to be enjoyed.

YOU ARE THE CREATOR OF YOUR REALITY. Any and everything that is happening to you is happening for you and that’s up to you to see. We will never be able to control what happens to us but we always have a choice in how we respond. This is where our true power resides. We need to realize we have a response-ability (the ability to respond) to any and everything that happens to us. If you choose to respond poorly to an unfortunate series of events, expect that to be your normal routine. However, if you choose to respond positively, you begin to transform your mind into seeing tragedy as opportunity.This process is much easier said than done but if you become more conscious of what you can control versus what you can’t, you’ll be able to alter your responses to make any situation beneficial for yourself.

Personally, I’m tired of living life and seeing people succumbing to all of these illusions because they don’t truly know who they are and what they actually want. We’re born knowing who we are and what we like but over time society starts to mold us into someone that “fits” into the crowd. Most people would rather postpone their joy for Friday/Saturday night when they feel they can truly be themselves and forget about all their problems that plague them during the week. By no means am I condemning people for going out every weekend. Fun is great, but I do pose the question: What are you celebrating? Is it truly a celebration of the hard work put in during the week or just a coping mechanism for the stress you’re enduring on a day to day basis?

The conversations need to be shifted from what everybody else is doing to what are you doing and why? At the end of the day you're the person that has to look in the mirror and accept what's looking back... The great thing about being a human (besides the thumbs) is the fact we can change the trajectory of our lives at any given moment whilst other animals cannot. You can come from nothing and die with everything and vice versa. With this power there must come a time of self reflection and humility that will allow new curiosities to be pursued and new habits to be developed so you can live a more fulfilling life.

I’m creating this blog in hopes of inspiring someone somewhere to take a stand against society and truly embody who they are. If every person is focused on being the best version of themselves however that looks, the world can and will be a better place. This life stuff is a lot simpler than we make it out to be, we just get caught up in what everyone else is doing in comparison to what we “should '' be doing.

Life isn’t meant to be as stressful and complicated as we make it. Life should be effortless as long as you’re in tune with yourself. It’s taking time to find out who you are and staying true to that throughout the ups and downs in life. It will keep you leveled and eliminate a lot, if not all stress you’re dealing with. Once again easier said than done or else we all would be “enlightened” and floating through life with ease. As long as you’re surrounding your subconscious with information related to making you better (such as this) then you’ll be alright. That’s really where everything lies that determines who you are- the subconscious mind.

I hope this post was informative in some way and that you can use the information provided to start to break away from modern society and live as your authentic self. We are all the creators of our realities and I encourage you to create a reality that aligns with who you are and what you stand for. This is just the beginning of “Some Shit to Think About” and I hope to see you again soon.