beep-boop-still-not-a-bot

[beep-boop-still-not-a-bot]

Skylanders Academy Sixteen

Season 2 Episode 4 - Thankstaking For The Memories

-Does Stealth Elf just like to be alone, or does she have no family to go back to? In Road Rage, she mentions she was raised by a tree... Did it get chopped down?

-Why doesn't Eon bring Spyro home with him?! Didn't he literally raise him?! And we do get an excuse for him... but no, it's garbage, take your son home with you.

-How did Spyro nearly burn down a house owned by lava creatures? That's a feat if I ever heard one.

-Why doesn't he go hang out with Cynder for the episode? She's definitely not going home, after getting disowned the way she did. Maybe either Hex or Roller Brawl took her home with them, as they do mention being in an Undead club together in Split Decision.

-Now, maybe I just don't know how to spell it, but I can't find anything for a 'cornberry casale'. Given that Kaos is the one making it, I'm not too surprised.

-I am going to take Kaos thinking about what Glumshanks would do as a reference to the Imaginary Glumshanks he creates in Skylanders Superchargers. Because I can do whatever I want, and if you disagree, go make you own review.

-This is the one time the relics room door ever slams shut on anybody, and it's the one time that the intruders aren't evildoers. Wow, relics room AI, you are bad at your job.

By the way, the relic's room AI and Jet Vac's lie detector have the same voice. Probably got it from the same vocal bank.

-Since when does Kaossandra ever humor Kaos? Even on Thankstaking, that seems out of character. Maybe the good mom we see in Season 3 had more foreshadowing than I thought.

-If I was mentally unstable enough, I'd look through every Skylander to see if the sword Stealth Elf uses matches up to any of them. Thankfully, I have some sanity left.

-My eye was definitely caught by that 'decorative' vent, Master Eon. Why do you have that?!

[beep-boop-still-not-a-bot]

Skylanders Academy 15

(...this is probably a good time to mention that while I have played every Skylanders game and watched every episode of Academy... I've never even seen a Spyro game. Really should get into that.)

Season 2 Episode 3 - Return to Cynder

-Secondhand embarrassment is the bane of my existence, but once you get past all that in the beginning of the episode, I really do like it.

-Surprisingly, Blob Gnarly, a villain Cynder makes up fighting in this episode, does exist! Just not in the Skylanders series. It's from Svengoolie, and that's the extent of my information. I could learn more about Blob Gnarly or Svengoolie, but I can't muster up a morsel of interest. Sorry!

-Cynder is such a delight! Too bad she's only introduced in the second season and not present for the third. They really knee-capped her.

-At first I thought Golden Queen's lame missions were just from lack of trust in Kaos, whether in his skills or his loyalty, but I do think its interesting that even she feels insecure at times.

-I'm sure there's some deep symbolism of the first person Cynder truly connects with after escaping Malefor and the one helping her grow accustomed to her powers is also immune to them. But, uh, English class was never my strong suit (hope that surprises you, since I'm literally writing reviews for fun), so I can't really say.

-Is... Is the show making fun of its own fanbase right now, with the Greebles not wanting to take the toy out of the packaging for the resale value? Because a part of me does agree, a plastic covering shouldn't make that much of a difference in price. But I do appreciate people who do sell things online, (even if that was their original plan) since without one of them, I never would have gotten Jet Vac! Yes, I got him because of this show, let's not act like we're surprised.

-If Spyro had just phrased it as they are choosing to be evil, rather than the implication that they were born evil, he could've saved Cynder a mental crisis. He'd still be wrong, though, because Who's Your Daddy does show that Greebles are indeed born evil.

-Is there some parallel in this episode about Golden Queen being unsure about her skills, and Cynder being afraid of hers? ...No, probably not.

-This episode has the idea of Kaos trying to usurp the Golden Queen's command over the Doom Raiders, but this never really comes to pass. Honestly, I don't particularly mind this getting dropped, especially since I strongly doubt the Doom Raiders would ever choose Kaos over Golden Queen.

-While Cynder in the games was actually kidnapped as an egg, I don't think that's the case here. They may not look alike, but I think Malefor is too overprotective for her to be anything other than his actual child. Plus, Eon does comment that 'her type scales looked familiar'.

-Given that Hex was turned undead through a fight with Malefor... I'm surprised she doesn't have anything to say about this whole incident. Well, I'm not, because Academy have a different continuity than the games, but it still could've been interesting.

-Actually, why does the show constantly refer to the dragons as Spyro's ancestors? It's not incorrect, but it would be more accurate to say his parents, right?

-Malefor claims to have helped wipe out the dragons... Eon does say that he's lying to get under Spyro's skin, which could be the case, but I can't see why he'd bother, when he's about to kill him.

-It's never addressed how Spyro was left in the forest. My personal belief is that the thing that wiped out the dragons occurred while he was still in the egg, so it passed right over him.

[beep-boop-still-not-a-bot]

Skylanders Academy,,, Fourteen, I think?

(can you tell the hyperfixation is fading? well most are pre-written already, so i'll keep going regardless)

Season 2 Episode 2 - I Dream of Ninjini

-Behold, Berserker! One of the only, if not the only, Drow in the whole show. And he's not even an archer. For shaaaame.

-At first I thought he was Brock, a character from Skylanders Giants who has a similar personality and antagonistic role, but the names don't match up. Maybe when Berserker is just a stage name? 

-Not sure if Brock eats Mabu, though, considered he stuck around on the Dread-Yacht and didn't eat Flynn or Cali.

-By the way, there's no way in hell Berserker is a ninja. They specialize in, well, stealth! It's possible he's just a heel character in Monday Night Ninja Fights, but considering that he's the same in person, it's definitely not a persona for him.

-Hm, I wonder how it would have gone if when Stealth Elf goes to fight Berserker, she finds just a real chill guy. Wouldn't have been as satisfying of an ending, but it could've been interesting.

-I know it's for the alteration, but I'm pretty sure Drow is pronounced like oh and not ow. Arrow, not clown.

-For Hugo to have a map leading directly to the package, which under what I think is a rock, it must have been hidden underneath it, by someone who would give its location to Eon, who would give it to Hugo. As it so happens, Ninjini lives in this very same forest. 

-If Ninjini's lemon bars are forest famous, who's getting them from her? Possibly Berserker, since he's the lesser of the two evils currently in the forest. She might have even baked that cake for him!

-Sure, it might be a little goofy, but I kinda love Ninjini's fun aunt vibe. I always imagined her super serious and cool, so it's actuzlly really cute how they flipped that on the head.

-I bet Ninjini planned to monkey's paw the hell out of the Doom Raider's wishes, but didn't even get the chance to since they were all so tame.

-They set up a possible return for Ninjini, but she sadly never makes a reappearance. If I had to place her in an episode, maybe she could have replaced Kaossandra in Road Rage? I do like what we got with Kaossandra and Stealth Elf though...

-For some reason, I remembered the dragon tail being in a box, but uh, it's just out in the open. Wonder what I got it confused with...

-I mentioned that I think Ninjini was the one who hid the dragon tail, but why would she have it in the first place? I headcanon that it belonged to a friend of hers that died in the war, or maybe even one she had to kill because they had been corrupted by evil! I love tragedies a little too much, I think.

[beep-boop-still-not-a-bot]

Skylanders Academy 13

Season 2 Episode 1 - Spyromania

-The season's opener is quite the twist from Skylanders Unite! Where in there Spyro started out incredibly cocky, this episode's conflict is about him feeling incredibly unsure about himself.

-I do think the reason why is... strange. Claire Skylanderson claims that he's just like any other dragon, but... most of the dragons were banished. What dragons are she referring to? Certainly not Flashwing or Cynder, they can't spew fire! 

-Plus, if anyone in the group lacks a super power, it would be Jet Vac! He's the one lacking any inherent powers, relying entirely on his vac gun, which I doubt he made.

-Eruptor does have a superpower besides his species of lava golems, the focus of Elementary, My Dear Eruptor, but he purposefully doesn't use it, since it gives him headaches.

-THE SONG IS STILL THE SAME. THEY HATE ME SPECIFICALLY.

-The new animation isn't bad by any means, but I don't really see the point in the change. They all are, ironically, displaying their talents, or powers if you will, but I think I liked the book idea better. It was more unique like that, in my opinion.

-In the early Archie Sonic comics, there's a character named Dulcy who is a dragon, and can sense 'the purity of truth'. She seems to do this inherently, not like Spyro's lie about his 'magic gaze', so this is definitely more strange coincidence than anything else. Still, it's what I think of whatever I watch this scene of Spyro failing to interrogate a sheep.

-While Chompy Mage is usually written off as delusional, that's not the case here, and I appreciate that. Golden Queen sees it as its own entity, therefore validating his attachment to it. 

-I do understand why Golden Queen would give Kaos a nothing role on his first day on the job, but with their skillsets, wouldn't it be better off to have Kaos ward off any possible attackers, while Broccoli Guy plays comforter? I can't imagine how he'd be worse at it than Kaos.

-Y'know what? I like the Spyro has a hobby outside of Skylander-ing. Sure, he does only play guitar when upset, but he clearly plays it enough for it to actually sound good!

-Gifted child burnout? The moment you realize you fail at something, you start self-destructing, even when you yourself know itself illogical to keep beating yourself up about it? Hey, who let this show (and Spyro for that matter) be so relatable?

-Flashwing being at the Skylanders means Bash made a wish for wings which caused her to crack open from a geode. This isn't anything tragic like Chill's, I just wanted to share my headcanon that Bash was already a Skylander at the time, and, after recovering from getting yeeted by her, helped her get enrolled to Skylanders Academy.

-Sometimes you just need time to yourself, and don't have the emotional capacity to deal with other people. I understand you, Flashwing.

-Also, possible reference to the Greek myth of Narcissus of all things, with Flashwing staring into her own reflection.

-The explosion from the Burrio Bomb really wasn't that loud... if anything, it was probably the yelling between Kaos and Pepperjack that attracted the guard's attention.

-Due to how Spyro gets his super power in the end, having all the cadets attack him really could have worked. Though, it is strange that it only manifest this episode (other than plot convenience), given that he was beat pretty thoroughly by Kaos in Skylanders Unite!

-Wait, to suspend a Skylander, you have to get them to sign the paper? That seems... counterproductive. I'm sure very few are that open to getting losing their jobs, even if only temporarily.

-There is no way that Bombshell thinks of Spyro has 'a dragon with no superpowers'. He's definitely just mocking him.

-Paris exists in the Skylands? I suppose since it is endless, anything can existence. Could just be the same name.

-Now, my knowledge of the Spyro series is limited, but isn't Spyro's purple scales important to the lore there? Does the impenetrable scales have something to do with that?

-Spyro with a beard sounds incredibly cursed but maaaaaaaaaybe could work. By the way, is he still suspended? Given the events of the next episode, I Dream of Ninjini, I don't think so.

-I love the overarching story in this season. It's only minor moments in each episode, with three not advancing it whatsoever, but it comes together for a horribly gut wrenching scene in It Techs Two.... which, uh, I've technically already written the review for. No, I didn't write these in chronological order, I'm not that mentally stable.

[beep-boop-still-not-a-bot]

Skylanders Academy Twelf

(Season finale babieeee)

Season 1 Episode 12 - Assault on Skylander Academy

-I wonder what would have happened if Dark Spyro drank something with darkness immunity shots? Would it hurt him, be a step towards curing him, or do nothing at all? ...Probably nothing.

-The elemental tiles made me notice this, but why does the team have two magic users? Was Pop Fizz that iconic of character?

-If Chompy Mage wanted to get the book for himself... why'd he bother telling the other Doom Raiders? Guess he just can't resist spilling the tea.

-Why are all the Doom Raiders double crossing? Most aren't mages. They couldn't even open the book, much less use it.

-While the emotional stakes are higher in this episode... I feel like the stakes in general were why higher two episodes ago in The Skylands are Falling. Heck, even the name sounds way more dire! I used to forget that that episode wasn't the season finale!

-I suppose Eon couldn't give them the answer to the first riddle... but he could've given them the other ones.

-Oh no, the evil darkness has a hold on Eon! Okay, but can we talk about how he's talking like Strykore (a character a season from now). The brothers might just be more alike than it seems.

-...you can see darkness, though? Still, it is fitting that knowledge of darkness is necessary to reach the Core of light. Thematic opposites, and all that.

-Okay, I checked, and this is the remade Core of Light, not the original! The original was more of green bulbs, much like the architecture of the Citadel, ironically. I suppose this version of the Core is cooler and more iconic anyway, so I'm not too pressed about its usage here.

-It's interesting to me that there seems to be a sign-up process to join Skylanders Academy when in the games, most of the Skylanders were actually sought out by Eon. I know, different continuity, but I like to keep an eye out for the differences.

-I wish Kaossandra had made a better case for why Kaos should join her... the current version makes it way too reasonable for Kaos to join the Doom Raiders.

Now that we've finished season one... Here's a b-b-b-bonus thought.

While I do think the level of quality is about the same throughout the show's runtime... I think season one is the weakest mainly because it did a poor job setting up why you should care about the characters and having the weakest overarching story line. That's not to say I didn't like this season, but I think the others are better.

[beep-boop-still-not-a-bot]

Skyalnders Academy 11

(yes i know i misspelled skylanders in the title. it was an accident but you know what i appreciate the mix-up)

(also I forgot to post earlier... sorry, Cereza and the Lost Demon got really good.)

Season 1 Episode 11 - Crash Landing

-This is a false Crash Bandicoot!!! He is mute and even if he could talk, this is not his personality!!! It's also just... a bad showing for him? While this (and his other episode) did eventually get me to look into his series... it was a really bad sell. I don't blame Crash fans for being turned off by this guy (and Skylanders fans for being turned off of this show in general).

-Bandicoots (which, yes, are indeed a real animal) do live in Australia, so the accent is fine.

-Why didn't they include Aku Aku (Crash's mask friend)? He could've been the talker for Crash. Is it because he's too smart?

-I wish Crash's crossover episode(s) had more to do with Crash himself, instead of just him being at Skylands.

-For how much eon hyped it up, it's a shame we don't see more of the Falling Forest's inherent dangers. What we get is cool, but I would've liked more.

-I know the idea for Days of Future Crash probably hasn't even been made yet, but it would have been super cool if we saw a rustle of leaves or even a brief flash of a second Eruptor in the background.

-Was Crash pavlov-trained into hopping onto TNT crates for Wumpa Fruit, or does he just naturally do it because he's a menace to society? The episode makes a case for the latter, but either way is valid in my book.

-While the secondhand embarrassment is hard to watch, this episode practically cements that Spyro is gay, or at least has an interest in men. There's no way this is straight behavior.

-Like I mentioned earlier about the episode being more Crash-centric, I would've had the villain be Doctor Neo Cortex, (Crash's main villain and also his creator) instead of Chompy Mage... though, I'm not sure how I would change it to keep the Season Finale intact. Maybe the Doom Raiders can just spy on the fight from the foilage?

-Y'know, Crash is probably dealing with extreme whiplash from one Spyro who fanboys over him and the future Spyro who thinks he's a loser. Probably very confused.

-CRASH IS NOT A LONE WOLF!!! HE TRAVELS EVERYWHERE WITH AT LEAST HIS MASK FRIEND AND ALMOST ALWAYS WITH HIS SISTER!!!

[beep-boop-still-not-a-bot]

Skylanders Academy 10

(btw thank you so much Amazin' Adventures on youtube for making this show so much more accessible.)

Season 1 Episode 10 - The Skylands are Falling

-...Why was everyone so keen on destroying the bread statue? Like I get that it's for the bit but... why?

-Why is Pop Fizz treated like an inventor this episode? He's not. He's a potion maker. We have almost a whole element of inventors. Is this because Sprocket is only next season?

-Actually, the lens is still showing Kaos a false future because Golden Queen would not kiss a guy. She is a lesbian /jjjj

-Sometimes I genuinely can't tell if Glumshanks wants Kaos or the Skylanders to win. He gives Pop Fizz the lens that predicts that future... but is always encouraging Kaos to make smarter plans to actually take the Skylanders down.

-Well, no, Jet Vac, there is not too much science here, the Evil's Scope magic is doing most of the work here.

-Jet Vac raises some interesting points this episode, but because he is so often demoted to hater nobody cares sadly.

-Let Pepperjack eat his hot sauce covered waffles if he wants to!!! Being a pepper guy he probably has a real high spice tolerance anyway... so would it be like ketchup on waffles? Hm. Still bad

-Can we talk about their horrible Mabu disguises? How did they get those? Why did they get those? Why don't they use them ever again?

-Is this an early sign of Eruptor's genius that only appears in one episode? Because he did accurately predict what the episode's conflict would be.

-Early sign of Spyro being mentally unwell and Eon being a poor parent figure towards him and just kidding we already knew that

-The rest of the team aren't great today either, but they're usually good so I'll let this slide.

-The darkness rift thing is super cool but the cause is super dumb. The solution is too tbh

-The fact that this is the closest thing physical wise we get to the Darkness from Superchargers pains me

-Speaking of terrible mental health, Kaos cheers for his own demise in this episode. I mean it's also the demise of the Skylanders, but still a bit worrying.

-If Spyro's obsessive heroism is the most evil thing in Skylands... does that mean that when he turns evil in Season 3... he actually turns good?

-When did all the villains stop being evil? When was this a thing? Or did they just now become MORE evil?

[beep-boop-still-not-a-bot]

Skylanders Academy 9

Season 1 Episode 9 - Beard Science

-I think the emphasis on Eon's beard is really stupid. It's just part of his design to help him look like a cool older mentor.

-I assume think the tiny horns on the helmet to on his younger self is also kind of stupid. It's not like the helmet grows with him.

-Roller Brawl being here means that she has been harassed by Kaos and he kidnapped her brothers to get to her. Can't imagine she's doing all too mentally well.

-...was Dreamcatcher flirting with a cloud? Man, she must be bored.

-DOES KAOS HAVE HANGED VERSIONS OF THE SKYLANDERS ABOVE HIS HEAD? WHAT.

-Wolfgang trying to rebound after the incident with Pop Fizz only to have Golden Queen leave him for Kaos... sad sad day...

-How did Eon get knocked out with just an apple... HE'S WEARING A HELMET

-...Yeah, I don't care for this episode too much. Not much to say.

[beep-boop-still-not-a-bot]

Skylanders Academy 7

Season 1 Episode 7 - Anger Mis-Management

-Eon really needs to either pay Hugo better or get more workers. Why is this poor guy doing everything? I suppose this is only the first instance of this, but it gets real bad for the poor guy.

-These spy outfits are... pretty pointless. Okay, the black paint has some use, I suppose, but they really didn't need the night vision goggles. Pepperjack is indoors!

-As someone who used to have anger issues when I was a kid (or at least I hope they're behind me), this beginning sequence is a little too relatable. Having to wait for what feels like eternity just to get food that's not even good? Oh boy, I was not happy. Never blew my team's cover on our spy operation, though.

-While also named after the thing volcanoes do, part of why Eruptor is named that is a play off of how he 'erupts' with anger. It's even part of his game lore!

-The butterfly effect is mentioned this early on? I can already hear Eruptor talking about how time is like... Ah, spoilers.

-Day 13 and there's already been a breakthrough? Wow, I wish therapy was that effective for me.

-It's interesting that instead of 'mom' or 'dad' Eruptor cries about how he craved attention from 'Nana'. Perhaps his parents were so distant he had to look to his nanny for affection, only for her to not give any either?

-I'm sure it's supposed to be 'look how dumb these guys are' but me personally if I saw a 'We're The Bad Guys Company' I wouldn't bat an eye either. 

-Wow, Skylanders, that guy who keeps trying to destroy you is gnc as fuck. Okay, again, I know Kaos only did it for the disguise, but he does keep the lipstick on for longer than he has too.

-This episode was definitely made by someone who couldn't handle their chili, and yet loved it anyway.

-How come Pop's bowl of chili at the end of the episode doesn't melt into the ground? I guess the chili was only super dangerous for a while.

[beep-boop-still-not-a-bot]

Skylanders Academy 8

(Tumblr's scheduling is!! being super mean to me!!!)

Season 1 Episode 8 - Pop Rocks

-Given that this is Pop's first major episode, I'll comment on something strange I noticed during my rewatch. He never uses his Beast form in the entire show! Did they not want to bother creating a model for it?

-Pop Fizz and Wolfgang being exes is not something I expected, but I am surprisingly down for it. I mean, I'm sure it goes against one or both of their backstories, but given that Eon found Spyro as a baby and the nature of Kaos's father, I don't think that matters too much to Skylanders Academy. It is its own canon!

-Spyro definitely binged Pop and the Gang's entire music collection after the episode, he's so fascinated by this. Assuming Pop doesn't destroy it first.

-How does anti-hypnotism cause amnesia? I can't see the correlation... besides plot connivence, of course. Maybe it has something to do with his brain damage alluded to in Season 3, Weekend at Eon's?

-Why weren't the tickets provided for the mission? Like, damn Eon, you're gonna make this come out of their paychecks?

-WHY IS TRIGGER HAPPY LIKE THIS. THIS IS NOT TRIGGER HAPPY.

-Pop was so happy to play with Wolfgang... historians will call them ex good friends.

-I wonder if the original reason Wolfgang started taking front and center was to cover up Pop's tone-deafness? But then, he got addicted, and did it more and more... Fun thought, at the very least.

-...Didn't Jet Vac say his ears weren't in the normal spot for ears to be? I suppose that's a whole season from now in In Techs Two... Man this show does not have good continuity.

[beep-boop-still-not-a-bot]

Skylanders Academy Six

(You guys have no idea how much self restraint I needed to not use the latin number again. I am also not responsible if you decide to look up what latin six is.)

Season 1 Episode 6 - Space Invaders

-Weird to me that in this episode, Golden Queen and Kaossandra seem to be on good terms, but in a few episodes, they're only allies of convince, and nothing more. I suppose Golden Queen would stab any back to get what she wants, but shouldn't Kaossandra know enough of that to keep her at an further distance? I'll explain why I think they're closer than just people who see each other at 'Soulless Cycle' (an evil clothing store if I had to guess) occasionally around... geez, all the way in near the end of Season 2 in Sheep(ball) Dreams.

-This might be a long shot, but I think Spyro's middle name being Agnew (or at least Eruptor thinking it is) is a reference to Spiro Agnew, a former USA vice president, and also the first result when I looked up what the hell Agnew is.

-Kaos meditating seems practically inconceivable, but his floating head illusion was a staple of Skylanders Spyro's Adventure! Too bad he doesn't have the Evil Skylanders (well, they're actually called Kaos's Minions, but nobody would know what I'm talking about if I just said that) to go along with it.

-Weird that Jet Vac is so... carefree during their camping trip. He's usually the one policing all the fun and trying to stick exactly to the word of the mission. Maybe with Eon around he feels he doesn't have to be so uptight?

-Eruptor cooks his marshmallow... like a normal person? You'd think that he'd burn it, being made of fire and all. Wait, how is he even holding that stick?

-After 314... 318... loses, Kaos finally gets a win, and kills a Skylander! I wish my persistence was that good. Then again, it's not like this victory lasts.

-It might seem callous that Jet Vac immediately sought to replace Stealth Elf, but considering that the entire fate of the Skylands is up to the Skylanders, it may have been completely necessary for him to do so in past teams. He definitely takes a bit too far here by trying to get someone who acts just like her.

-I can't believe Glumshanks believes in alpha males. He really is just as evil as his boss. Wolfgang isn't even the leader of the group! If anyone is the 'alpha' of the 'pack', it's the Golden Queen. No amount of toxic masculinity is going to beat her.

-Too bad that once Elf takes control, we don't get anything else out of Kaos until she's freed. Could've had him fight for control, or something.

-Given that Eon's beard holds much of his powers, something mentioned in Beard Science, it's a very good thing he didn't shave it. It's also quite a drastic act, as I'm sure Stealth Elf is far from the first Skylander to die on duty.

[beep-boop-still-not-a-bot]

Skylander Academy Thoughts 5

(finally doing 2 a day like I said I would)

Season 1 Episode 5 - The Hole Truth

-The design of Cloudcracker prison in the show is such a downgrade. The original in Trap Team was beautiful with the right degree of menace. Plus, the Trapatinum coating it was thematically appropriate for the game's gimmick. In the show, however? We just get a generic prison. Sad.

-Why are there so many Mabu criminals? Aren't they a notoriously peaceful species? Why not at least some Greebles and/or trolls? 

-Broccoli Guy is only a Doom Raider because the show runner thought it would be funny. It is, but I don't think it really is enough to justify his inclusion.

-Gulper and Dr. Krankcase were supposed planned for Season 2. I'm sure the fact they didn't get in was a huge blow to Krankcase fans. At least Gulper got a mention in this episode!

-Is the rarity of use why the Hole is only meant for one person? Still, they could've added some safety measures to prevent multiple people from getting sent there. This whole episode is both Snapshot and the architect's fault, in my eyes.

-I wonder if the reason Golden Queen recruited Dream Catcher so easily (other than plot convenience) is because she wanted to make sure they had enough power to open the wormhole in the Hole.

-I love Golden Queen, though it is a shame Kaos is usually the main center of her scenes. Especially with the obnoxious crush he has on her in the first season.

[beep-boop-still-not-a-bot]

Skylanders Academy Quattor

Season 1 Episode 4 - Dream Girls

(Quattor is latin for four, I wanted to spice things up a bit)

-They definitely made SED Talk as a parody of TED Talks. They might be completely different, but I can't see this as a coincidence.

-Now, normally, making the twist obvious from the start is a bad move, but I think Dream Catcher being the obvious villain of the episode is a nice treat for those who played Trap Team. Like 'what is she doing here?! That's the bitch who made me deal with waves of enemies, only for her to flee to the next level!'

-Young, impressionable cadets... and Chill, who is, in fact, a Skylander, as shown in the first episode. Why is she being called a cadet? Did she demoted herself like Bad Breath did?

-Also, Chill being here with the Skylanders means the Snow Queen of the Ice Kingdom has been kidnapped by Cyclops and Chill has been either been ostracized or left out of shame for failing to protect her.

-Despite the amount of flyers Eruptor and Spyro had... not that many people showed up to the SED Talk. Guess they don't know that many people. Relatable.

-If I didn't know it was made of a gizzard suit, I would eat that bread for sure. It looks sooo good.

-Jet Vac is so dad in this episode. He spends most of it making cheesy lines, but what Stealth Elf is clearly distressed, he sits her down and tries to cheer her up. It's sweet.

-Cobalt the Brave, Sharon the Victorious, and Edwin the Meek at first but eventually Brave and Victorious are not real Skylanders. Not that you needed me to tell you that.

-Stealth Elf may be a fictional character of a fictional race, but I'm still going to comment on that there is no way she had enough brain power to deduce that Dream Catcher was behind the sheep phobia after having not slept for multiple days.

-I originally was going to question why Dream Catcher seemed to be a known villain despite having not joined the Doom Raiders yet, but she's actually already escaped from the Lucid Lockdown inside the Realm of Dreams... not that those words mean anything to me. Wait, go back, she's only fourteen?! She might be one of the youngest characters in the show!

-Dream Catcher mentions parents... Are they also both floating heads? If that's so, how did they have a kid? Am I thinking too hard on this? Probably.

-The conflict of this episode is so funny. I'm not saying I support giving people deep seated fears through constant nightmares, but if you're going to anyway, sheep are a great candidate.

-Remember when I mentioned in Skylanders Unite! that I'd be talking about Spyro knowing his name later? It's later! In this episode, Spyro tells the people that came to the SED Talk a story about how he got his name, and even mentioning someone named Gyra. Now, that is likely a reference to an American jazz fusion band called Spyro Gyra (yes I had to look that up, I hate jazz), but it's still odd to me that Spyro met someone before he was even born.

-Not going to question how Stealth Elf had this presentation ready when she probably came up with it about five seconds ago. Oh wait, I guess I am.

-I swear I heard Cy's voice cheering, but I couldn't spot him. Beep's gone delusional.

-There is no way attaching an iron ball to braces wouldn't rip them out, handcuffs or not. In fact, it might rip the teeth out, too!

[beep-boop-still-not-a-bot]

Skylanders Academy Thoughts 3

Season 1 Episode 3 - Missing Links

-Fire Vipers are part of how the Swap Force team got wiped out, so I feel like they should be treated as a bigger threat than they are. Why are they been treated like a first boss?

-Jet Vac and Pop Fizz have been Skylanders for a while now... why aren't they able to clear the simulation? Is it so difficult you need the full team to work perfectly together to beat?

-King Pen is being very kind to omit the part where all to most of the losses from the war were because of Eon specifically. I don't blame Eon, don't get me wrong, but...

-What element is Cy? The casing of the Creation Crystal is colored much like the Undead one, but other than the skeleton legs, Cy definitely doesn't fit that.

-If this weren't a kids show, Cy would definitely have soooo many issues. Imagine being created as a sentient war machine, and you have a banana head! And he gets threatened with disassembly!

-I don't blame Spyro for being surprised Stealth Elf was there this time. She wasn't there during the panning shot, and there was no sound effect of her teleporting there! Neither was Cy! How did they get here?!

-I'm sorry, but I love the cheesy way they insert all the catchphrases in this episode. I may be a sucker, but I'm a happy sucker.

I should really start queueing this... nearly forgot.

[beep-boop-still-not-a-bot]

Skylanders Academy Thoughts... 2!

Season 1 Episode 2 - My Way or the Sky Way

-Is Eon really so cheap he can't afford a plumber? The Skylanders are meant for hero work, not pipes!

-Though... I almost wonder if the mission was a set up to see how the new three would handle what seems to be irrelevant problems. Eon, Jet Vac, and even Pop Fizz seem to be playing up the seriousness of the mission... I wonder if it wasn't a mission, but a test? I'm sure that's not the intent of the episode, but that's how I would've written it, at least.

-My headcanon reason on why Jet Vac is such an ass this episode is because of how close the Skylanders came to being destroyed the episode prior. He doesn't want to risk anything that bad happening again, even if it means reading through an entire instruction manual.

-It probably is convenient to have the team all live in the same building, even if Jet Vac only moved in to straighten out Spyro.

-Jet Vac may be being a stick in the mud right now, but he's probably right about the bad bed being a problem. I imagine he helps Spyro get an actually good one some time after the episode.

-I didn't know gizzards were real until I looked it up right before writing this. They look absolutely disgusting.

-It's interesting that Kaos is under the impression that Glumshanks enjoys the torture he puts him through. I guess that's the only way for him to rationalize why Glumshanks still sticks around him.

-Why are they sending Eruptor and a vehicle with wheels of fire to a place where the issue is that its on fire? Sounds counterproductive.

-Why is Spyro's team considered the core Skylanders? Are they really that pressed for Skylanders that three recent graduates have to be front and center? Or is it nepotism, since Eon raised Spyro?

-It is indeed canon to the games the Jet Vac sacrificed his wings to a woman. It could have been a widow, but it was specifically a mother with multiple children that he gave her his wings to fly to safety. This act is also how he became a Skylander! ...which is, uh, how I know about it.

You know, I should probably start doing these in twos... It's gonna take over month if I stick to one a day. Eh, maybe tomorrow.

[beep-boop-still-not-a-bot]

Skylanders Academy Thoughts

I've been dealing with the horrible plague of hyperfixating on Skylanders Academy for the past few days, so I thought, why not review each episode (and actually post on tumblr for once).

Season 1 Episode 1 - Skylanders Unite

-The fact that we don't get Eon's iconic opening narration in this show is so sad. Especially with the boring replacement we got.

-Spyro was newly born and almost got eaten... if he was old enough to form memories, this could've been pretty traumatic... even if he does completely stomp the Greebles who dared to try.

-Note that Spyro knows his name despite just being hatched. I'm going to yap about this in three episodes.

-What was Eon doing in the forest? Casually going out for a stroll or was he intentionally seeking out what could be one of the last dragons?

-I HATE the intro song. It is awful. (Coming from a hater of like every intro song this doesn't say much... until I say it's probably the worst I've ever heard)

-I do like that the intro sequence is inside the Book of Skylanders, which is the focal point of the episode. It's very fitting.

-It's a shame Hugo is demoted to mostly just a loser in this. I know it's a kids cartoon, and that with Eon alive his wisdom isn't as needed, but it's still sad to see him like this.

-Definitely wouldn't have had the first episode focusing around the main character's flaws. It makes it a really hard sell to get you to like him. At least we do see over the course of the whole show - even in just the first two episodes - that Spyro's cockiness is very earned.

-D- minus is a pass?! How does anyone fail here?!

-Spyro mentions the Imaginators, but that's not possible. The first one is made two episodes from now! First sign of Skylanders Academy's poor continuity?

-What's Ninjini's bottle doing in the relics room? Is it a duplicate? Because in I Dream of Ninjini we see it's just somewhere in what looks to be the Falling Forest.

-Kaos has tried to defeat the Skylanders 314 times... and hasn't had a single success? Wow.

-Why was Snapshot of all people at Spyro's party? He seems way too uptight for something like that. Maybe the writers haven't decided his personality/role yet.

-The 'First Day of School' picture is strange. I get why Spyro was here at a young age, but I can't see why Stealth Elf and Eruptor were... unless it's just a strange style and not them as little kids.

-Wow, Kaos, your minion is gnc as fuck. Okay, yes, it's for a disguise, but he does say it's comfy.

-Since Pop Fizz's page was ripped out of the book... why'd he get frozen with the rest? I guess there's was the teensy bit of it still attached to the book.

-I imagine that the reason Spyro doesn't immediately attempt to unfreeze the book with his fire powers is that he doesn't want to accidentally burn it. He only risks it as a last ditch effort to stop Kaos.

-My name is Nooooooobody. Nooooobody. Noooooooooooobody. Sorry, I couldn't help myself.

-Herd of angry sheep... Anyone encountering that would understand why Hugo's so afraid of them, I bet.

-If Bad Breath was in the main team I would not have watched this show. I am Bad Breath's number 1 hater. We would have gotten a fourth season in Bad Breath wasn't in the show. HE'S NOT EVEN A REAL SKYLANDER.

-The Core of Light is absolutely not where light and dark meet in perfect harmony. The Core of Light is the Skyland's biggest weapon against the darkness, which is why evildoers like Kaos want to destroy it.

-If Kaos's real name is Steve, why doesn't he know about it? Was it what his father wanted to name him, and Kaossandra renamed him? But Glumshanks works for or is at least good friends with her, so he would defer to her version of the name, wouldn't he? My interpretation is that it was Kaos himself who renamed himself after his mother, and either erased his own memory or just completely forget his original name.

I'll try to do one of these per day... hopefully someone (like you) finds them interesting.

[beep-boop-still-not-a-bot]

this makes me mentally ill i want to apply it to every fandom that is even just tragedy-adjacent this is so raw and powerful

the first law of tragedies: the end is already written and inevitable. the second law of tragedies: your actions are all your own and you can choose to get off this ride whenever you want. the third law of tragedies: we both know that you are never going to do that.