behindmywindow-blog

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My heart is crying so hard. I catfished him and he denied my existence like he did to everyone else. I should have known

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I want to fall in love and not get hurt

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Me trying to not go insane realizing that it’s 4 pm so soon it will be like 6 pm and I’ll have to start ‘winding down’ for the evening and then it’ll be 8 and then 10 and it’ll be time to do my evening activities and then it’ll be midnight and then it’ll be time for me to go to bed again just so I can wake up and be ever conscious of the passage of time and how meaningless it has become for another day and try to prevent myself from going insane again

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Someone reciprocate my love!!!!

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It’s gotten to the point where I’m getting separation anxiety bc of u and idk if that’s healthy

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Stuck on ya

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I love you and I’ll be great

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I wish the people I like, make time for me. 

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11/19/18 Monday 5:08 am- Summer fun

a. Hey I just want to get this off my chest before Thanksgiving starts. I think it’s best for me not to hear from u when u get back at all. Like everything you suggested a couple days ago sounds fun to do but I can’t help feeling like ur last option now.

b.  So because of how u used to be so sweet, so involved in my schedule to be with me, so caring vs the way you treat me now, I can’t handle it anymore. It’s been a rough 2 months or so trying to keep it consistent and be as close to you but you kept your distance and Idky. 

c. do  you know how much it hurts to see someone who used to adore you, be so caring, & put themselves in ur schedule to hang out with you almost every day to every week to barely; To laughing every day with you to not talking at all? Plus the way u treat me now, I can’t handle it anymore. It’s been a rough 2 months or so trying to keep it consistent and be as close to you but you kept your distance and Idky. I’ll always be the same, daring, excited, loving person to someone so I can’t take it when someone switches up on me. 

d. kay hope you rekindle with everyone!

My only thought when I first met you was that you were gonna be a close friend of mine who makes me laugh and lifts up my day. Never would I think we would go further than that. You hella hit on me, put yourself into my life, groomed me, touched me more and more, wanting to come over and stay over, fucked me, then decided not to have any connection towards me at all? If you were this emotionally unavailable then why would u do that?

Idrc about that but if someone decides to enter my life then they would stay and not switch up on me. That’s one of the most painful things anyone can do.

Im so tired of ppl’s bullshit that all I need is a yes or no. You’ve been wishy-washy and I’ve called you out for not being giving me a time and not staying true to your words. You need to tell me what you want. Did you want me to come over later even I’m out rn? What is “soon?” What is “I’ll call you when I’m done?” You used to be so excited and make all that time for me. I just want that innocent platonic friendship where I could comfortably come over and do whatever we want without any romanticism. Because of this dynamic change, I feel very insecure and obviously this foundation that we had fell apart & we became inconsistent. So no way we’ve gotten to that point where I’m secured enough to hear from you once in a while like others especially when u live 10 min away and feelings were involved.

After telling me why and you don’t feel like putting in more effort that’s fine. I’m not sure if it’s something I’m doing or that we have been miscommunicating that we ended up with this weird friendship. We did vibe so well but you didn’t want to keep that going. Your perspective of me has changed and I can’t do anything about it. I never change. Acts of service and quality time are how I express love to my friends but if you really don’t try to understand me then i don’t want to see you or hear from you rn. I don’t want to get hurt. I liked you.

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I miss his lips kissing me

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Here we go again. I fell for someone and he doesn’t care

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Thanks for texting me back cus ur so busy with your housemates >.>

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I’m all about consistency

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getting horny during a test or when hw is due, is the worst

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Want some good fuck rn

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Wish you miss me too