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🤡 В коллекцию...

Ah, haute couture in France—where the phrase “costs an arm and a leg” takes on a whole new meaning. I mean, these designers are basically saying, “You want a dress that takes a hundred hours of hand embroidery? Sure, that’ll be 800 grand. And don’t forget to add in the delivery fee

I tried to imagine what it’s like to wear haute couture. Honestly, I’d probably just sit down and immediately ruin it. That’s the problem with luxury clothes—they’re so fragile, so delicate, you’re basically wearing art you’re not allowed to sit on. It’s like, “Here’s a beautiful gown, but if you sit down on a freshly painted park bench…

That’s the real luxury! Because nothing says “high-maintenance” like a wardrobe that needs its own climate control, but then you forget to brush your teeth and suddenly you’re the reason the closet’s mood swings.

But hey, if clothes are that delicate, maybe you should just get a robot butler, a personal sommelier, and a therapist for your wardrobe—because why not? At this rate, I’m thinking of hiring a personal trainer for my leather pants just to keep them from feeling too tight after I eat extra 🍩....

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Доброе утро!

Добавляю еще шуток с фразами 👆в коллекцию...

🤡 You know, every woman has her secret weapon, her “подкупающие фразы о самой себе” — those charming lines that make you look like you’ve got the “happy ticket” to the festival of laughter. But let’s be honest — for the doubles, the lookalikes, it’s a whole different game. They’re like, “Hey, I’m the real deal,” and the museum’s like, “Sorry, honey, you’re just a wax figure — beautiful, sure, but still… waxy!”

🤡 And my personal favorite: “A genuine artistic temperament.” Because what’s more attractive than being a little moody and unpredictable? It’s the perfect way to keep the guys guessing — “Is she smiling, or is she plotting my demise?” Adds a little mystery to the mix.

🤡 But folks, in life, you’ve got to watch out for those “hidden agendas.” Like that one friend who always wants to borrow your lipstick but secretly just wants to see if she can steal your shine. Or the chance to “make exhibition of herself.” We’ve all been there — a little too eager to show off, like a peacock with a broken tail feather.

🤡 Seeing this “demure little trace of naked skin” — well, that’s a whole other story. It’s like saying, “Hey, I may look innocent, but I’ve got a wild side.” Like a cheesecake with a secret dash of chili powder.

🤡 А что касается двойников и музеев мадам Тюссо — да, я тоже иногда чувствую себя живой экспозицией. Особенно когда пытаюсь объяснить своему мужу, что «эту фигуру» я создала сама, а не просто взяла у мамы на время.

🤡 And finally, I’d like to introduce a most distinguished Russian — a lady who combines wit, charm, and a touch of chaos, just like a good vodka — smooth, spirited, and guaranteed to leave a lasting impression!

🚭Это типа Надпись о вреде употребления алкогольной продукции для здоровья.

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🤡

I'm at the baggage claim, you know, the usual airport anxiety, the heart-stopping wait, the feeling of impending doom that only a lost suitcase can evoke. And then, it happens. My carry on beauty? Replaced. Not with a similar-sized carry on beauty. No. With...a behemoth.

I mean, not literally—although, let’s be honest, I’ve seen some travelers with those giant suitcases they could smuggle a small family in.

Covered in stickers of every kind of cartoon character imaginable like labubu.

And inside, I swear, I could have heard a whole family arguing in there...

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Constantine Gedal

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🤡

Ladies and gentlemen, I have a confession to make. So, the other day, I was at the airport, minding my own business, when I look into my luggage—a bag I thought held my favorite pajamas and maybe a pair of Flip flops🩴. Instead, I find... Dior dresses. Yes, Dior!

God, grant us the strength to accept the things we cannot change. Like, for example, the fact that I now own a Dior dresses 👗 but can’t quite afford the shoes to match. And as you know, I’m not the kind of woman who takes such things lightly. Oh no—I might have to pray desperately for fog, just so I can disappear for a moment and process this fashion miracle with my barefoot 👣

Thank you, thank you—I’ll be here all week, probably wearing someone else’s luggage.

👀Good morning!

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В случае с подменой багажа только один победитель - КУПЧИХА!

Чтобы убежденные отельеры, свято верили, в добрый жест Бьонсе - лично отправить свой багаж Купчихе, вот фразы, которые Британка прописала Купчихе:

It was what the French call a “coup de foudre” -- love at first sight.

A love to cross oceans for.

Please, know the question that you want to ask.

It sounds far-fetched.

Why are you making such a generous and time-consuming gesture?

Yeah, I have a special doctor's pass.

To mind my own fizzing business.

It is essential to stay abreast of the latest styles.

Really sharing things with each other.

I expect people to give me credit for being a woman of honour and integrity.

God, grant us the strength to accept the things that we cannot change.

As you know, I'm not the kind of woman who takes such things lightly.

Well, maybe I shall pray desperately for fog.

But you have the intense pleasure of observing me so closely.

To be able to own is one thing. To appreciate it, another.

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🤡 Partially my writing.

But seriously, this green sausage—it's like the mascot for renewable energy. You know, it’s all about being eco-friendly, saving the planet, and looking fresh, but sometimes it just looks a little... weird. Like, I love the idea of green energy, but I don’t want my electricity to cost like spoiled delicacy.

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Спасибо кое-кому за вдохновение)

Песня 👆на английском.

��ак если бы вы заглянули в параллельную вселенную...

(сейчас очень важно регулярно делать вклад в качество нейронных связей🧠)

Silly people, but the sea is beautiful

Let's do it, everything is already clear

I'll remain a human, you'll be my fellow

Brought you a substance if you're a vessel

Angel of heaven, soaked in soot

Ah, how beautifully the night begins

When darkness is everywhere

When darkness is everywhere...

There is no farewell, there is only a chain of ellipses

Oh, how beautiful this day burned out And we will burn to the ground

We are about to burn to the ground

And there will be lights, music and carnival

And a new game, my game

This praise path in the clouds

Feeling revitalized after overcoming dues.

Remember, everything is in your hands

Remember, it's all in your hands

Remember, it's all in your hands

Yours, yours

The world is booming for the two of us

Yours, yours

The world is booming for the two of us

Don't cry, little mate, everything will be great

Why wait for the gong, the floor is already painted

Stay honest, let them call you a pal

And a new game, my game

This praise path in the clouds

Feeling revitalized after overcoming dues

Remember, it's all in your hands

Remember, it's all in your hands

Remember, it's all in your hands

Yours, yours

The world is booming for the two of us

Yours, yours

The world is booming for the two of us

This praise path in the clouds

Feeling revitalized after overcoming dues

Remember, it's all in your hands

Remember, it's all in your hands

Yours

This praise path in the clouds

Feeling revitalized after overcoming dues

Remember, it's all in your hands

Remember, it's all in your hands

Remember, it's all in your hands

Yours, yours

The world is booming for the two of us

Yours, yours

The world is booming for the two of us

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🤡🤡 Ну, кто не гиена с утра...

Summer in a little village? Oh, that’s where the hyenas come in, right? Nothing says “romance” like being kept awake by wild hyenas howling outside your tent. That’s not a lullaby, folks. That’s a horror movie soundtrack. And I swear, if I ever hear hyenas in my backyard, I’ll be the first to scream, “Run for your life!” because you don’t want to be the main course.

Or just start howling back. If you can’t beat the hyenas, join ‘em, right?

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Британка уверена, что👇 фразы на английском уже обеспечили Купчихе спальное место в Африканской палатке того самого мужчины топ - модели, не смотря на страсти с улитками.

Well, that was before the weather changed.

The roads from the airport are so windy,

You think you slick too?

Don't try so hard.

It would be funny to watch you try to remember me.

So the surest indication of sanity would be the ability to change your mind.

You're blushing, darling.

Wow, you have beautiful eyes.

I'm not joking. Someone really nuts about you.

But I really don't have time to debate destiny. I'm just practicing my speech.

It's kind of like foreplay,

because the more I talk about it, the wetter I get.

When summer came to the little village...

Imagine the sound of hyenas in your ears at night when you're trying to sleep in a tent just drives you crazy.

Passion remains the spirit behind existence.

Close your eyes. Two, three, four. Two, three, four. Breathe.

… love hearing you say English swear words…

Bye…

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👆Если вас природа человека тоже немного омрачила) Следующие ситуации на подходе.

3. Такая ситуация, если багаж подменили...

Купчиха открывает чемодан, а там вещи, например, от Christian Dior, принадлежащие Beyoncé. Теперь нужно сообразить фразы и всем объяснить свой бизнес интерес. Что просто так Купчиха уже не расстанется с чужим багажом.

4. Размещение в отеле... Купчиха разложила вещи, как вдруг открывается дверь и в номер заезжает ещё семья с маленьким ребёнком из Бангладеш. Шок! Как объясниться или съехать? а свободных номеров нет. Ждать до завтра.

5. Да, это фестиваль смеха... Приезжает ещё одна Купчиха, её двойник и ещё одна. Вот вас уже трое или четверо... Как оригинальной Купчихе объяснить своё происхождение и свой род в Африке?

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Уже другая ситуация (но не менее важная).

Африка, 2027 год.

Грусть с лица Купчихи не спадала во время полёта. В компании мужчин топ-моделей она думала как бы не упустить. Все поним��ли Купчиху настигла нужда.

И какие же фразы подобрать, чтобы объяснить последнему мужчине на планете, что первым делом в незнакомой стране Купчиха, конечно, нацелена уединиться, но не с ним, а "отложить личинки".

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Новая песня в исполнении Suno.