bellewanderess

[bellewanderess]

Missed Interview

I am sobbing at the moment because I missed the chance of my final job interview today. Until now, it doesn’t sink in in my mind that the small responsibility that I have to do, I haven’t done. It’s gone. The job position that I’m rooting for myself had flown away in one snap. I don’t know what I am going to feel, who’s going to blame or where/who am going to burst my rant but I know I am accountable to what happened.

Still, I can’t accept what just happened. I can’t understand it. If I need to be hard on myself or just let it go and move. Part of me saying, move on there’s a lot pf opportunities out there that is really for you, just try another job position on that company, who knows, you can make it. Another part of me still grieving and melancholic about what happened.

I don’t know why if it’s really meant for me, since the day that the company informed me about this last interview, time to time I’m checking my email. But the day that they sent me email, there’s no instinct, indication or inner feeling that I need to check it. And today, Voila, I missed it. Frankl, I am disappointed to myself. And I don’t know why who’s going to blame. I know to myself that I have to.

Thanks to my boyfriend, who’s always there for me. Comforting me. Yeah, he’s right, maybe the person who got hired to that position has a big needs. And maybe God has a much beautiful and bigger than that position. I know he’s preparing me for more. He knows what are the beautiful things for us and I trust him.

For now, I will let myself to give in and loosen up the stress that built because of what happened, I believe God will lead me in so much more. Thanks God in advance😊

[bellewanderess]

Thoughtful Love

Welcome Back! it’s 2021 now! I know 2020 gave me a twists! Twists about my lovelife! I know I know! I met a lot of guy from bumble, but this one is so special and one of a kind. Today, we’re 4 months in a relationship and I humbly to say that I found the one! Well I know we’re having a young love for now but I always pray and we’re working on it.

I know he would bring me cake to me but I was surprised because he brought me coffee also and it is so sweet. I feel so kilig today🥰

He knew what are the perfect combo! 😊 I feel so extra special today and inlove😍🥰I pray his sweetness and being thoughtful will never lasts.

I love you my Love😘

[bellewanderess]

Pressure

Ugh! I don't know what I'm feeling right now. I am so pressured to all the things around me and I can't sleep tonight, I want to sleep but there are things linger on my mind. I'm so worried about my future. Just like my old colleagues at work, I've been wanting to change my career but there are so many things that holding me back.

First, we're facing a pandemic crisis, many people lost their job and can't hardly find job today. Many establishments and companies have been closed because of this crisis.

Second, because of this pandemi, it's hard to find a job that suites me. We'll I want to back in normal life where I'll go to office everyda. I want to apply to a new job and train in actual situatio because for me it's hard to under go trainings via videocall because there are things to be considered probably in environment(coz I don't have a private/own room).

Third, I doubt myself. To be honest, my knowledge has been stucked. I don't know if I am competent enough and confident enough to apply in a new job and company. I want to become prepared to face a new journey of my career.

Lastly, I want to consider the location, I know for now if I'm going to have a new job which is based from home it would be easily but when this new normal starts, I know it would be definitely hard to travel if that new company is much far that I have now.

We'll I think I should surrender all these things to God. He knows all the things that is good for us. Wait and have faith. Lord, make me understand and see the good and beauty in every situatio. Help me not to be in a hurry and not to compare myself to others. Guide me oh God. Great things are coming!

[bellewanderess]

Wanna know why blessings that you always prayed and asked for is not yet come? Simply because you’re not yet ready to receive it, you might ruin and not considering its true value. Trust God timing! #masyadopangmaaga https://www.instagram.com/p/B-FIbMfJfwWus6mvJ_BIMoiiKlYB46BSRBvm_I0/?igshid=1mfpri7pnq2ge

[bellewanderess]

🌳🌿🌱 (at Mt. Pulag) https://www.instagram.com/p/B86aoBVAdJQx5nFjR5cl_WomPoobLC5Qr2uYvg0/?igshid=1onp18mheq311

[bellewanderess]

It’s just like a Paradise 🥰😍❤️ (at Mount Pulag) https://www.instagram.com/p/B83aw6DAFvQDaHnsg-2bDSBSW441H252bL50Y40/?igshid=11s50sm3rdlvq

[bellewanderess]

Luzon's highest peak🏔 (at Mt. Pulag Summit) https://www.instagram.com/p/B81DRtgg3jMYnaog7x3I-FwvPy3XE66iEYPsG00/?igshid=1xmlnyibvxl41

[bellewanderess]

“Kahit gaano ka man kataas, titingala ka pa din” . . . #Mtpulag #Hike2020 #Pulag2020 #pulagadventure #PulagBokod #bokodbenguet (at Mt. Pulag via Ambangeg Trail) https://www.instagram.com/p/B8q6YOrA_PbMqlNx1Q4YZZQAr4_pOGtyR8bJRY0/?igshid=jyosxsoi33j7

[bellewanderess]

Ang tagal naman nyang dumating😅🤪 https://www.instagram.com/p/B8qqJQYAL71e8aiNMSi3bVZ9dg193gABgbLBM00/?igshid=sinlpbjf3w2v

[bellewanderess]

Let’s get lost and wander! ❤️ First hike of 2020🏔 (at Bokod, Benguet) https://www.instagram.com/p/B8p0rsWAm5VtFKO-tiNTQbe1n8Sp6lZPbPJfi00/?igshid=qcpgixfn9j6p

[bellewanderess]

Minsan minsan awra din tayo😅😅😅 (at Cellar 22 at The Bellevue Manila) https://www.instagram.com/p/B52uRI5ACwOSao6Bl8XKyVJsiGFzhO-efEDSbM0/?igshid=17or090omp9ay

[bellewanderess]

Don’t mess with these people😅🤷🏻‍♀️ (at View Bar Bellevue Hotel Alabang) https://www.instagram.com/p/B52t4LTA9eJZZQcV60NH9rOLEsCGnq-NDS1-g80/?igshid=67hwwiqjkt5k

[bellewanderess]

To the guy I never thought would kiss me.

The first day I saw you is just like an ordinary thing for me like meeting someone, from stranger to acquaintance. I saw you like I saw grassy field that I used to see every time we’re in a road trip. I saw you everyday like I’m watching a tv show that played a hundred times all over again. I talked to you everyday that the words you uttered is simply entering to my right ear and immediately out to my left ear. But to me, you’re a kind of guy who has a good heart. I’ve known you for many months, you always crack a jokes to me that I didn’t care. You always compliment my fashion style but it ends up you’re being a sarcastic. That time, I’ve never thought that you’ll kiss me. The kiss that didn’t know where it came from. I have really no idea what’s your intentions. Did you kissed me out of lust or did you kissed me because you’ve been wanting me for so long but you can’t express your feelings because I like somebody else and you chose to be quiet in a corner. I don’t want to assumed things but the time you asked me why I kissed you back and I answered it without any hesitations “You kissed me that’s why I kissed you, you kept asking over and over again like you’re waiting beyond my answer to change it, that can lighten up your face. But I’m so sorry oh boy because I’d lie to you. Honestly, I am not sure if I have a feelings for you. If I prevent myself from you because someone is already liking you or I am not sure because you’re not sure either. That kissed is like an ordinary thing for me. But that moment, keeps me haunting every night, that question still lingers on my mind if I answered it right or should I passed it.

[bellewanderess]

Embrace changes. (at Cellar 22 at The Bellevue Manila) https://www.instagram.com/p/B5zJ-gQAc6bgxTuBkSuV8KH7uhYUGfTBL8z5GM0/?igshid=wetxy009d2a2

[bellewanderess]

Diplomat Hotel 🏨 . . . #baguiocity #diplomathotelbaguio (at Diplomat Hotel Baguio City) https://www.instagram.com/p/B318xy7Agee/?igshid=2xqchu8xbk0o

[bellewanderess]

sana all may THE MANSION. 😂 . . . #baguiocity #themansionbaguio (at The Mansion , Baguio) https://www.instagram.com/p/B318NzMA3O_/?igshid=s2qtpr9h4ph3

[bellewanderess]

Camp John Haaaaaaaaay buhay! 😂 . . . #campjohnhay #baguiocity (at Camp John Hay) https://www.instagram.com/p/B317rQagP9g/?igshid=cojb35ylzlqt