bellyhasabellyache

[bellyhasabellyache]

when people ask what my family dynamic is and all i can say is i genuinely believe that if five random people were tied to train tracks and i was on the other side, every person in my family would flip the switch to hit me

[bellyhasabellyache]

i tried

HELP HELP GELP DANGER HEOLP 

[bellyhasabellyache]

SLUR CUSS SEXUALITY (i panicked i’m too scared)

STOP CENSORING YOURSELF ON THIS WEBSITE. FUCK SHIT SEX MURDER ALCOHOL DRUGS FAGGOT DYKE QUEER TRANS BITCH SLUT WHORE SEX SEX SEX SEX!!!!!!!!!!!

[bellyhasabellyache]

life cause my best friend just drove 20 minutes to my house to give me a hug cause i was crying about my parents being mean and he wanted to make sure i was okay for the night

[bellyhasabellyache]

i live next to a loud ass wedding venue and i just heard some couples first dance song and it was livin on a prayer by bon jovi. wishing a long and happy marriage to whoever just got married. i love love.

[bellyhasabellyache]

reunión falls gf au 🚬🚬🚬 i haven’t heard that name in years….

[bellyhasabellyache]

i see them (once a week when i remember i have this app)

“post without tags?” hell yeah i’m posting without tags, i know my loyal followers will love me (they don’t see my posts)

[bellyhasabellyache]

blue light - mazzy star

every breath you take - the police

lemonade - wheatus

la vuelta al mundo - calle 13

you belong with me - taylor swift

harvey - alex g

all my love - noah kahan

sarah’s place - zach bryan and noah kahan

all my ghosts - lizzy mcalpine

better in the dark - tv girl and jordana

ecstasy of gold - metallica, san fransisco symphony

like real people do - hozier

lady in blue - lizzy mcalpine

youre gonna go far kid - noah kahan

anyone else but you - moldy peaches

cate - cottonwood firing squad

high road - zach bryan

everywhere everything - noah kahan and gracie abrams

participate cause being chalant and whimsy is cool @ifyouknowmenooo @mollylovesthemoon @luzth3goos3fr @alocalpizzadruid @kermit-the-fag-uwu @silly-boi-adventures @geraldthebroccoliman @blahaj-number-2 @justyournormalweirdo

i got tagged to do url in songs i’m inflicting it on everyone now :3

t - the wolf - siames

r - red wine supernova - chappell roan

a - aura - ghost and pals

n - neath the grove is a heart - yaelokre

s - sleeping giants - the crane wives

g - gossip - maneskin

e - easier - the crane wives

n - no children - the mountain goats

d - destroya - my chemical romance

e - everything everything - good kid

r - ready to go - panic! at the disco

a - alkaline - sleep token

n - nothing's working out - meiyo

a - atlas - the good kid

k - kiss the ring - my chemical romance

i - icarus - bastille

n - nobody's soldier - hozier

s - starlight brigade - twrp

k - kill all your friends - my chemical romance

y - you're one of us now - movements

w - what you know - two door cinema club

a - achillies come down - gang of youths

I - language of the lost - riproducer

k - king for a day - pierce the veil

e - everybody talks - neon trees

r - riddle of the sphinx - the mechanisms

thanking @cavechoir for the tag

i’m tagging @king-davros-clawthorne (sorry dude you have the long url curse) @autistic-puffin @vector-be-silly @rhiannoncrack @llyfrenfys and also anyone else who wants to join in

[bellyhasabellyache]

wdym my chem class is back to back w comp sci and math 🥀🥀🥀🥀

how do they expect me not to kill myself with a schedule like that

[bellyhasabellyache]

guys i’m gonna vent on this acct sometimes i’m sorry if y’all see sad shit mb 🥀🥀

[bellyhasabellyache]

fool me once

hurt me twice

buy me shrimp fried rice

[bellyhasabellyache]

when someone jokes abt not wanting to hang out and i can’t tell if they genuinely don’t wanna or if they’re being silly so i just internally spiral instead

[bellyhasabellyache]

i love you and i hate that 'society' thinks its weird to wanna give your ex a little girlkiss™

we all got that homie we lowkey wanna kiss a little

[bellyhasabellyache]

the summer i cant stand steven and his goddamn haircut

jenny han WHY did you do this to steven

[bellyhasabellyache]

The Morning After - Original Poem

⚠TW⚠: discussions of SA, flashbacks, and nightmares

The morning after you will wake up and you will cry in the shower and scrub yourself raw

The morning after you will dress in baggy clothes and walk to school and see him in a hallway

And you will turn the corner and break down in messy tears and shaky sobs until the nausea erases his figure from your thoughts

You will be expected in first period awake and attentive and be everything but that

The morning after you will replay the scene in your head a million times over until you can no longer stomach the thought of it

You will pass him in the hall again and you will cry

The morning after you will make it to fifth period, crawling through the halls as if they are flooded with honey and molasses

You will walk home after fifth period and you will cry some more

The evening after you will spend laying on your bathroom floor, your bedroom feels like a crime scene that will kill you if you touch it

Your mother will come home from work and you will reluctantly drag yourself to bed because she cannot know that there is something off about how your room feels

The evening after you will go to bed without dinner

And you will dream of it over and over and over again until surrendering the fight and waiting out the night so you can’t dream of it again

The morning after the morning after will be the same

Crying in the halls and skipping dinner before going to bed

The morning after the morning after the morning after will be the same again

It will be the same for a very very long time

Two hundred and forty four evenings after the morning after you will tell your father

Your father will cry and beg you to let him kill the boy you see in the halls

And you will beg him to

And nothing will come of it

Two hundred and seventy days after the morning after you will see the boy and cry

You will shake as his face appears on your phone screen despite your belief that he is blocked absolutely everywhere 

And you will cry some more

Two hundred and seventy mornings after the morning after and you still feel too weak to face the boy without tears in your eyes and tremors in your bones

˚　　　　✦　　　.　　. 　 ˚　.　　　　　 . ✦　　　 　

incase anyone is worried yes i am fine. i wrote this cause i was having a panic attack and this is how i cope. dont worry abt me it happened a long time ago and this is my first time seeing my abuser in almost three months so i was understandably overwhelmed

[bellyhasabellyache]

who else is up hating the gender they were assigned at birth!!!

[bellyhasabellyache]

PRESSURE PRESSURE BE KIND TO YOURSELF OR YOUR NOT COOL GRRRRR 😡

i wish i had people to peer pressure me