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berrystrawbs · 7 days ago

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from the mini fic prompts list if you're still asking! iwaoi -> 20) things you said that I wasn't meant to hear <33

i gotchu!! this was originally an opening to a different fic premise but it took me in a wildly different direction than intended and i liked it for this prompt :D i hope you enjoy!

i’ve got plans to stay and you’ve got plans to run

summary: they talk proposals, and then breakups. prompt: things you said that i wasn't meant to hear pairings: hajime iwaizumi/tooru oikawa words: 1647 warnings: none

“I’m gonna win an Olympic gold medal,” Oikawa says, a not unusual start to a daydream of his, “and then I’m gonna melt it down into a ring and you’re gonna propose to me with it.”

Iwaizumi snorts, tugging him closer against his chest where he lies on top of Iwaizumi in his childhood bed. “I’m going to propose to you with your own medal.”

“Yes,” Oikawa says, like this is a reasonable request that makes sense.

Iwaizumi laughs, and Oikawa buries his head into Iwaizumi’s collarbone, pressing his nose against the crook of Iwaizumi’s neck. The touch is warm and soft and Iwaizumi can’t help but laugh again. “Shouldn’t you propose to me with your medal? It’s yours, isn’t it?”

Oikawa makes an affronted sound. “I guess, but I want to be proposed to. I’m not the one asking the question or giving the ring.”

“Then why are you the one melting down the medal? Can you even do that? Feels, like. Sacrilegious.”

Oikawa shrugs and Iwaizumi holds him tighter. It’s well past midnight, both yesterday’s daytime and nighttime long gone and leaving them in the early dawn hours of the next day. Iwaizumi feels invincible here, safe under a well-worn quilt with Oikawa on top of him, pink sun beginning to curl through the window blinds to cast Oikawa in its rosy light. He feels like the world—which is this bedroom alone, this kingdom—is theirs to have conquered.

They’ve been up for too long, just sharing their daydreams of the future and ignoring the fact that the reality of the future is coming on much too fast. Iwaizumi is tired but he isn’t sleepy; his eyes burn with having been awake too long but he can’t bring himself to sleep yet, can’t bring himself to leave this moment.

They’ve been dating for two years and they’re going to break up in two months. Iwaizumi is going to treasure what time they have right now, while he has it.

“Maybe that was a stupid idea,” Oikawa mumbles, his voice muffled into Iwaizumi’s sleep shirt. He’s clearly drifting off into sleep. “Maybe you should just buy the ring at some jewelry shop.”

Iwaizumi rolls his eyes. “What if I want you to propose to me?”

Oikawa shrugs again, a slight movement in Iwaizumi’s arms. “Then win an Olympic medal and melt it down for me to give to you.”

“I thought we just said the melted medal idea was stupid.”

It feels stupid, too, to be talking about proposals and futures when they both know that they’re going to break up soon. This is something they’ve discussed at length, something that they’ve mutually agreed upon. They aren’t going to try long distance—they’ll graduate from Aoba Johsai and then Oikawa will go to Argentina and Iwaizumi will go to the United States and that’ll just be it for them. That’ll be the end.

So it feels stupid to dream about proposals and marriage and weddings and futures. They both know they aren’t getting any of those things any time soon.

But in Iwaizumi’s wildest daydreams, they eventually come back to each other. They’re parting ways now, but eventually—they always gravitate back to each other. They’ll go out and see the world and try new things and go new places and dream new dreams, and then they’ll fall back in step with each other. They’ll go back to their rightful places at each other’s side.

That’s just a daydream, though, at the end of the day.

“I think I’m losing track of this conversation,” Oikawa mumbles.

Iwaizumi bites back a smile, pressing a kiss to the side of Oikawa’s head. He can feel Oikawa smile against the bare skin of his collarbone, and then he presses a kiss to the side of his neck in return. Iwaizumi wants to kiss him everywhere, wants to give him all the love any one person can. He wants to make Oikawa the happiest man in the world.

But he can’t do that from California. He can’t, not when Oikawa is in Argentina.

“‘M sleepy.” Oikawa sounds like he’s already sleeping when he says it. His breathing has gotten deeper, evening out into a slow, steady pattern. “Love you, Hajime.”

“I love you too,” Iwaizumi murmurs.

He presses another kiss to Oikawa’s temple, and Oikawa sighs contentedly. Moments later, Iwaizumi is certain that he’s asleep. Just before Iwaizumi himself closes his eyes to drift off, he stares at the rosy dawn outside and counts his breaths. Counts his heartbeats. Pulls Oikawa tight against him.

He whispers, knowing Oikawa cannot hear but half hoping the words make it into dreams, “Wait for me, okay? I’ll come home to you.”

Two months later: they break up.

It happens without fanfare, it happens without tears or dramatics. It happens in Oikawa’s childhood bedroom, sitting on the same bed where they had just been lying together dreaming about marriage proposals. It’s five hours before Oikawa’s plane takes off for San Juan; it’s roughly a month before Iwaizumi gets on a flight to California.

“This is it, isn’t it?” Oikawa’s voice is small.

Iwaizumi looks down at his hands, heaving an exhale as if it will do anything to steady him. These are hands that have held Oikawa so tightly, hands that have promised, wordlessly, to never let go. These are hands that are going to let go.

“I guess so,” Iwaizumi murmurs. “We’ll still be friends, though, right?”

Oikawa doesn’t hesitate. “Always, Iwa. You’re not getting rid of me that easily. We just…aren’t doing the boyfriend thing anymore.”

“Right,” Iwaizumi says, swallowing hard. He feels like he’s choking on his words. He will not cry over this. He knew it was coming, he knew this was the only way tonight could have ended. He will not cry over what has been set in stone for months now. “Right.”

“I’ll always love you,” Oikawa whispers. His voice is dry of tears but not void of emotion at all. He sounds like he’s about to fall apart, but he’s not going to let Iwaizumi see him as he does. For the first time in years, they will not be able to comfort each other.

Iwaizumi shakes his head, just a little. “I want you to be happy, Tooru. So go be happy, okay? Go rule the world for me. Don’t wait.”

“And that means I can’t love you?” Oikawa asks, voice sharp in its hurt.

“It means you move on,” Iwaizumi tells him.

Oikawa is quiet for a long moment. He’s staring at his hands too, clenching and unclenching his fists. Finally he turns his hand over to twist his hands in the fabric of his sweatpants. “You should go, Iwa. I think I—I want to be alone now.”

And Iwaizumi will not cry. He refuses.

Instead, he just nods jerkily and stands up in one robotic, stiff movement. He doesn’t look back as he leaves Oikawa’s bedroom. He doesn’t want to see Oikawa breaking, not when it’s over him. He doesn’t think he would be able to survive that.

Just before Iwaizumi crosses out of the threshold of Oikawa’s bedroom, Oikawa calls out his name—just a short, strangled, “Iwa—” and then— “Iwaizumi.”

Iwaizumi freezes in place, his heart freezing alongside his steps. Already everything is changing. His full last name on Oikawa’s lips sounds wrong.

“I heard you last night,” Oikawa says quietly. Iwaizumi doesn’t turn around. He can’t even bring himself to breathe. “What you asked. And I will. You know I will.”

Iwaizumi forces himself to exhale before he passes out. His face is flushed and his heart is still and he hates this, this ending of things, this breaking of this, this changing of things. He wants to turn back time, wants to undo this breakup, wants to start over again. He wants their first date one more time, he wants that anxious, stuttered confession all over again. He doesn’t want to leave.

But he can’t rewind time and he refuses to distract Oikawa from his career by making him struggle to maintain a long distance relationship in his first season abroad. He refuses to make the inevitable ending harder on himself by forcing them into a relationship that crosses time zones so drastically. He refuses to suffer more than he has to, because this is hard enough.

So he just murmurs, “I don’t know what you’re talking about. I didn’t ask you anything last night.”

Oikawa is quiet behind him. As if he isn’t there at all.

And Iwaizumi can’t fucking stand it anymore. He turns around, and breaks his own heart. Oikawa looks devastated sitting there, looks completely broken down by Iwaizumi’s words.

He looks up from his hands, and his eyes are dry but he’s biting down so hard on his trembling lip that it’s starting to break chapped skin.

“Okay,” Oikawa whispers. “I must have misheard. Wishful thinking, maybe.”

Iwaizumi swallows his guilt, his grief, his hurt. “I’ll make sure to watch all your games, okay? And you take care of yourself, because I—”

He cuts himself off. Stops there before he can say anything that will hurt them both more than he already has.

“I know.” Oikawa offers him a small, tired, mournful smile. “I’ll call when I land.”

“It’ll be late here,” Iwaizumi says. “Like four in the morning.”

Oikawa looks down at his hands again, squeezing his eyes shut. “Right. Time difference.” He pauses, and the silence between them is searching for something that neither of them can find. “Forgot.”

Iwaizumi hesitates. And then, “I’ll wait up. I’ll wait for your call.”

He wonders if Oikawa hears what he means. He wonders what it is that he means.

Oikawa doesn’t look at him. “Iwa, I—”

“Don’t,” Iwaizumi murmurs. Oikawa stops. Iwaizumi takes a heavy breath, repeats, “Don’t,” and then he’s gone before Oikawa can even open his eyes.

#berry favs #iwaoi #iwaizumi hajime #oikawa tooru #haikyuu #hq #WAAAAAAAAAAH

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